bahala uroy dili gyod ko..
This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.
#1401
Jokes and Humor / Re: It's Joke Time Again!!!
December 05, 2007, 07:35:31 AM bahala uroy dili gyod ko..
#1402
Jokes and Humor / Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
December 05, 2007, 07:31:03 AM
Buknoy: Oi pare, ano spelling ng 'Orange'?
Tukmol: Ang hina mo naman pare! Anong gusto mo i-spell ko...yung
color o yung prutas?
Tukmol: Ang hina mo naman pare! Anong gusto mo i-spell ko...yung
color o yung prutas?
#1403
Jokes and Humor / Re: Gagssss
December 05, 2007, 07:28:31 AM
The Traveler:
The traveler knocked on the door of the house where a cabdriver had told him he could be sexually accommodated. An eye-level panel slid open and a female voice asked what he wanted.
"I want to get screwed," said the man.
"OK, mister, but this is a private club, so slip twenty bucks as an initiation fee through the mail slot," answered the voice.
The man did this, the panel was closed, minutes passed. Nothing happened. He began to pound on the door insistently, and the panel slid open.
"Hey," exclaimed the sport, "I want to get screwed!"
"What?" said the voice, "Again"??
The traveler knocked on the door of the house where a cabdriver had told him he could be sexually accommodated. An eye-level panel slid open and a female voice asked what he wanted.
"I want to get screwed," said the man.
"OK, mister, but this is a private club, so slip twenty bucks as an initiation fee through the mail slot," answered the voice.
The man did this, the panel was closed, minutes passed. Nothing happened. He began to pound on the door insistently, and the panel slid open.
"Hey," exclaimed the sport, "I want to get screwed!"
"What?" said the voice, "Again"??
#1404
Jokes and Humor / Re: Men & Women
December 05, 2007, 07:25:27 AM
NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN
DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
EMPTYNESTROGEN
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding
You of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
ST. MOMMA'S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers
Unconscious for up to two days.
PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.
DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting
In enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and
The urge to flip off other drivers.
MENICILLIN
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, 'You make me want to be a better person.'
BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.
JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.
ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager
To share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same
Irritation level as nagging him.
DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
EMPTYNESTROGEN
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding
You of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
ST. MOMMA'S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers
Unconscious for up to two days.
PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.
DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting
In enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and
The urge to flip off other drivers.
MENICILLIN
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, 'You make me want to be a better person.'
BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.
JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.
ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager
To share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same
Irritation level as nagging him.
#1405
Jokes and Humor / Re: The Inday Adventures
December 05, 2007, 07:18:50 AM
REASONS WHY YOU KEEP INDAY FOR 10 YEARS:
1. Obedient: Nakahanda na po ako koya...ng pagkain.
2. Polite: Luluhod na po ba ako koya...para bless ang food?
3. Carefull: Dahan dahan naman po koya...baka mabasag ang plato.
4. Open: Ang sarap koya..sana araw-araw, ganito ulam natin.
5. Concerned: Bilis mo naman koya..darating na po si man..sigurado
gutom na yon.
6. Frank: Hay koya wag mo na pilit, dina tigas yan....sira freezer.
1. Obedient: Nakahanda na po ako koya...ng pagkain.
2. Polite: Luluhod na po ba ako koya...para bless ang food?
3. Carefull: Dahan dahan naman po koya...baka mabasag ang plato.
4. Open: Ang sarap koya..sana araw-araw, ganito ulam natin.
5. Concerned: Bilis mo naman koya..darating na po si man..sigurado
gutom na yon.
6. Frank: Hay koya wag mo na pilit, dina tigas yan....sira freezer.
#1406
Jokes and Humor / Re: Joke Time Again!!!
December 05, 2007, 07:15:10 AM
bambs.. syaro ug gukdon pa.. lotto na noh..millioness na malabo..
#1407
Jokes and Humor / Re: Funny Pictures
December 05, 2007, 07:12:24 AM
MORNING AFTER PARTY...
grabi napod ni sya oi.. wala naman maka uli..
#1408
Jokes and Humor / Re: TEXT JOKS
December 05, 2007, 07:07:38 AM
Kapag may kudeta sa Pilipinas:
American: We fully support the administration.
Aussie: We will send troops to the Philippines.
Chinese: We're ready to help end the political crisis.
Japanese: We condemn any unconstitutional grab of power.
Pinoy: May pasok ba?
American: We fully support the administration.
Aussie: We will send troops to the Philippines.
Chinese: We're ready to help end the political crisis.
Japanese: We condemn any unconstitutional grab of power.
Pinoy: May pasok ba?
#1409
Jokes and Humor / Re: It's Joke Time Again!!!
December 05, 2007, 07:05:23 AM
There was a girl who was still so in love with her ex-boyfriend that
she decided to ask him out again.
That night, on their dinner date, she asked her ex-boyfriend if he
still loves her, but he didn't reply, instead he held his ex-
girlfriend's hand and placed it on top of his chest.
The girl cried....
Then she stood up and slapped his face....
because....
na-feel nya...
may boobs na ang bruha!!
Waaaa!!
she decided to ask him out again.
That night, on their dinner date, she asked her ex-boyfriend if he
still loves her, but he didn't reply, instead he held his ex-
girlfriend's hand and placed it on top of his chest.
The girl cried....
Then she stood up and slapped his face....
because....
na-feel nya...
may boobs na ang bruha!!
Waaaa!!
#1410
Jokes and Humor / Re: Joke Time Again!!!
December 05, 2007, 07:02:37 AM
Dear Pedro:
Pinagsisihan ko pagbasted ko sau. Tinetesting ko lang pacencia mo
nung sabihin kong sobrang pangit mo, wala kang kwenta at ng sinumpa
kita.
Bawat segundo ikaw nasa isip ko. Kahit sa panaginip, andun ka pa rin.
Tanggap na tanggap ka ng magulang ko. Mahilig lang talaga silang
magbiro nung hinabol ka ng itak ng tatay at nanay ko. Di ako
mabubuhay ng wala ka.
Nagmamahal,
Bianca.
P.S: Congrats pala sa pagkapanalo mo ng lotto.
Pinagsisihan ko pagbasted ko sau. Tinetesting ko lang pacencia mo
nung sabihin kong sobrang pangit mo, wala kang kwenta at ng sinumpa
kita.
Bawat segundo ikaw nasa isip ko. Kahit sa panaginip, andun ka pa rin.
Tanggap na tanggap ka ng magulang ko. Mahilig lang talaga silang
magbiro nung hinabol ka ng itak ng tatay at nanay ko. Di ako
mabubuhay ng wala ka.
Nagmamahal,
Bianca.
P.S: Congrats pala sa pagkapanalo mo ng lotto.
#1411
Jokes and Humor / Credit Card
December 05, 2007, 07:00:57 AM
A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank.
Here is the exchange:
Family Member: 'I am calling to tell you she died back in January.'
Citibank : 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'
Family Member : 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections. '
Citibank : 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'
Family Member : So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'
Citibank : 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'
Family Member : 'Do you think God will be mad at her?'
Citibank: 'Excuse me?'
Family Member : 'Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?'
Citibank : 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'
Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member : 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.'
Citibank : 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.'
Family Member : 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'
Citibank : (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'
Family Member: 'No, I'm her great nephew.' (Lawyer info was given)
Citibank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'
Family Member : 'Sure.' (Fax number was given )
After they get the fax:
Citibank : 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.'
Family Member : 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care.'
Citibank: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.' (What is wrong with these people?!?)
Family Member : 'Would you like her new billing address?'
Citibank : 'That might help.'
Family Member : ' Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69.'
Citibank : 'Sir, that's a cemetery!'
Family Member : 'What do you do with dead people on your planet???
Here is the exchange:
Family Member: 'I am calling to tell you she died back in January.'
Citibank : 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'
Family Member : 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections. '
Citibank : 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'
Family Member : So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'
Citibank : 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'
Family Member : 'Do you think God will be mad at her?'
Citibank: 'Excuse me?'
Family Member : 'Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?'
Citibank : 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'
Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member : 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.'
Citibank : 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.'
Family Member : 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'
Citibank : (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'
Family Member: 'No, I'm her great nephew.' (Lawyer info was given)
Citibank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'
Family Member : 'Sure.' (Fax number was given )
After they get the fax:
Citibank : 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.'
Family Member : 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care.'
Citibank: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.' (What is wrong with these people?!?)
Family Member : 'Would you like her new billing address?'
Citibank : 'That might help.'
Family Member : ' Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69.'
Citibank : 'Sir, that's a cemetery!'
Family Member : 'What do you do with dead people on your planet???
#1412
Introduce Yourself / Re: Tubag Bohol welcomes adtin2000
December 05, 2007, 05:04:28 AMQuote from: grazie7y on December 05, 2007, 04:41:07 AMHala.. grazie.. murag parera tag naagian dah..hayyy naka hinumdum noon ko dah.. kay ako kanunay mabunalan kay ako may eldest akong man daw sala kay dili ko kamao magpasunod..saa maayo na ako lang gihapon mabunalan kay ug sila makasala ako may moatubang ako silang panalipdan..
Maayo pa mo Dong kay pangutan-on mo kon gusto ba mo "hapakan" kami dretso Dong hampak! Ang kasakit pa kay kami nag bagos (clean) sa tukog (coconut mid ribs) unya kami pod ka una magamitan! hahahahha But if our fights are grabeh na which only happens when Dad wasn't arround, my Mom would each give us sundang and would tell us, hala pagpatay mo kon gusto man diay mo mag sige'g away! sus, tiaw, mahadlok mi sa sundang oi so mang hunong nami'g away dayon - sticking of tongue na lang dayon until friends ulit!
#1413
Introduce Yourself / Re: Tubag Bohol welcomes adtin2000
December 05, 2007, 04:10:41 AM
maayo pay manganta nalang ta.....
ang kang inday mga saging wala mamunga kay gihangin..
kung wala pa hangin hangina ang kang inday saging dagha'g bunga..
ang kang inday mga saging wala mamunga kay gihangin..
kung wala pa hangin hangina ang kang inday saging dagha'g bunga..
#1414
Philippine History / Re: Happy Birthday Ginger
December 05, 2007, 03:28:05 AM
happy na bday pa/ mwahhh
#1415
Question and Answer / Re: What Is Your Favorite Christmas Song And Why
December 05, 2007, 02:45:33 AM
Oh Come all ye faithful joyful and triumphant. O come ye o come ye to Bethlehem...
It gives a sense of joy and triumph that the Lord has come and his kingdom shall forever reign, that we are not alone but exist in a community of believers.
It gives a sense of joy and triumph that the Lord has come and his kingdom shall forever reign, that we are not alone but exist in a community of believers.
#1417
Eyeball / Re: Any helpful suggestions to make Dec. 2007 EB Unforgettable?
November 27, 2007, 05:38:22 AM
sureness.. basta isa lang.. dili isang dosina.. he hehe
#1418
Eyeball / Re: Any helpful suggestions to make Dec. 2007 EB Unforgettable?
November 27, 2007, 05:23:58 AM
wow nice ang design.. pwedi.. order ko daan kay maunhan ko ni ginger..
#1420
Music and Video / Re: Romantic Song Lyrics
November 27, 2007, 05:02:37 AM
techu.. cel & ginger..
tumatalbog talbog bah?
tumatalbog talbog bah?
#1421
Music and Video / Re: Romantic Song Lyrics
November 27, 2007, 04:50:05 AM
this songs ddcated to ginger.. ms u leth..
sorry.. im so BUSY...
http://youtube.com/watch?v=6kFWhSK1Exs
sorry.. im so BUSY...
http://youtube.com/watch?v=6kFWhSK1Exs
#1423
Music and Video / Re: Your Favorite Song
November 27, 2007, 04:17:56 AMsong heartely ddcated to all members..mwahh..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jX7mG7svEo
a lady wants to know
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jX7mG7svEo
a lady wants to know
#1424
Introduce Yourself / Re: I'm Faye
November 24, 2007, 01:16:20 PM
naay daghan oi..naa man sila diri pod..
#1425
Philippine History / Re: Happy birthday, Sigbin II!
November 24, 2007, 01:08:38 PM
Happy na birthday pa..wish all the best in life sigbin II..
#1426
Introduce Yourself / Re: I'm Faye
November 24, 2007, 12:59:14 PM
hello faye kita kits napod ta diri..
welcome.. feel at home..
welcome.. feel at home..
#1427
Jokes and Humor / Re: TEXT JOKS
November 24, 2007, 12:39:18 PM
SUKO SA MISTER:
Mrs 1: Suko na ako sa mister ko, lagi na lang ako binubugbog bago niroromansa...
Mrs 2: Mas grabe yung mister ko. Binubugbog ako tapos si Inday ang niroromansa.
Mrs 1: Suko na ako sa mister ko, lagi na lang ako binubugbog bago niroromansa...
Mrs 2: Mas grabe yung mister ko. Binubugbog ako tapos si Inday ang niroromansa.
#1428
Jokes and Humor / Re: It's Joke Time Again!!!
November 24, 2007, 12:36:34 PM
Hapit na malunod ang bangka busa nag ampo ang pari:
Kamong tanan nga nagsakay sa bangka, SABAT...
Oh Lord Help Us.
Bungi nisyagit: Onlod Impas!!!
Kamong tanan nga nagsakay sa bangka, SABAT...
Oh Lord Help Us.
Bungi nisyagit: Onlod Impas!!!
#1429
Jokes and Humor / Mga Bagong Salawikaing Pilipino
November 24, 2007, 12:34:29 PM
Mga Bagong Salawikaing Pilipino:
* Ang buhay ay parang bato, it's hard.
* Better late than pregnant.
* Behind the clouds are the other clouds.
* It's better to cheat than to repeat!
* Do unto others ... then run!!!
* Kapag puno na ang salop, kumuha na ng ibang salop.
* Magbiro ka na sa lasing, magbiro ka na sa
bagong gising, huwag lang sa lasing na bagong gising.
* When all else fails, follow instructions.
* Ang hindi marunong magmahal sa sariling
wika, lumaki sa ibang bansa.
* To err is human, to errs is humans.
* Ang taong nagigipit ... sa bumbay kumakapit
* Pag may usok ... may nag-iihaw
* Ang taong naglalakad nang matulin ... may utang.
* No guts, no glory... no ID, no entry.
* Birds of the same feather that prays
together ... stays together.
* Kapag may sinuksok at walang madukot, may nandukot.
* Walang matigas na tinapay sa gutom na tao.
* Ang taong di marunong lumingon sa kanyang
pinanggalingan .... ay may stiff neck.
* Birds of the same feather make a good feather duster.
* Kapag may tiyaga, may nilaga. Kapag may taga, may tahi.
* Huli man daw at magaling, undertime pa rin.
* Ang naglalakad ng matulin, late na sa appointment
* Matalino man ang matsing, matsing pa rin.
* Better late than later.
* Aanhin ang palasyo kung ang nakatira ay kuwago, mabuti pa ang bahay
kubo, sa paligid puno ng linga.
* Kapag maikli ang kumot, tumangkad ka na!
* No man is an island because time is gold.
* Hindi lahat ng kumikinang ay ginto ... muta lang yan.
* Kapag ang puno mabunga ... mataba ang lupa!
* When it rains ... it floods.
* Pagkahaba haba man ng prusisyon ... mauubusan din ng kandila.
* Ang buhay ay parang gulong, minsan nasa ibabaw,
minsan nasa vulcanizing shop.
* Batu-bato sa langit, ang tamaan ... sapul.
* Try and try until you succeed... or else try another.
* Ako ang nagsaing ... iba ang kumain. Diet ako eh.
* Huwag magbilang ng manok kung alaga mo ay itik.
* Kapag maiksi na ang kumot, bumili ka na ng bago.
* If you can't beat them, shoot them. (Nalundasan)
* An apple a day is too expensive.
* An apple a day makes seven apples a week. (really expensive)
* Aanhin pa ang damo kung ang garden mo'y sementado
* Aanhin pa ang damo kung bato na ang uso
* Ang buhay ay parang bato, it's hard.
* Better late than pregnant.
* Behind the clouds are the other clouds.
* It's better to cheat than to repeat!
* Do unto others ... then run!!!
* Kapag puno na ang salop, kumuha na ng ibang salop.
* Magbiro ka na sa lasing, magbiro ka na sa
bagong gising, huwag lang sa lasing na bagong gising.
* When all else fails, follow instructions.
* Ang hindi marunong magmahal sa sariling
wika, lumaki sa ibang bansa.
* To err is human, to errs is humans.
* Ang taong nagigipit ... sa bumbay kumakapit
* Pag may usok ... may nag-iihaw
* Ang taong naglalakad nang matulin ... may utang.
* No guts, no glory... no ID, no entry.
* Birds of the same feather that prays
together ... stays together.
* Kapag may sinuksok at walang madukot, may nandukot.
* Walang matigas na tinapay sa gutom na tao.
* Ang taong di marunong lumingon sa kanyang
pinanggalingan .... ay may stiff neck.
* Birds of the same feather make a good feather duster.
* Kapag may tiyaga, may nilaga. Kapag may taga, may tahi.
* Huli man daw at magaling, undertime pa rin.
* Ang naglalakad ng matulin, late na sa appointment
* Matalino man ang matsing, matsing pa rin.
* Better late than later.
* Aanhin ang palasyo kung ang nakatira ay kuwago, mabuti pa ang bahay
kubo, sa paligid puno ng linga.
* Kapag maikli ang kumot, tumangkad ka na!
* No man is an island because time is gold.
* Hindi lahat ng kumikinang ay ginto ... muta lang yan.
* Kapag ang puno mabunga ... mataba ang lupa!
* When it rains ... it floods.
* Pagkahaba haba man ng prusisyon ... mauubusan din ng kandila.
* Ang buhay ay parang gulong, minsan nasa ibabaw,
minsan nasa vulcanizing shop.
* Batu-bato sa langit, ang tamaan ... sapul.
* Try and try until you succeed... or else try another.
* Ako ang nagsaing ... iba ang kumain. Diet ako eh.
* Huwag magbilang ng manok kung alaga mo ay itik.
* Kapag maiksi na ang kumot, bumili ka na ng bago.
* If you can't beat them, shoot them. (Nalundasan)
* An apple a day is too expensive.
* An apple a day makes seven apples a week. (really expensive)
* Aanhin pa ang damo kung ang garden mo'y sementado
* Aanhin pa ang damo kung bato na ang uso
#1430
Jokes and Humor / Re: Joke Time Again!!!
November 24, 2007, 12:26:47 PM
Si juan og pedro nanglakaw, samtang galakaw nangutana si pedro kang juan.
pedro: juan! pananglitan kung naay lion nya gukoron ka asa man ka paingon?
juan: kasayon...asa pa di modagan ko.
pedro: nya wala ka kahibaw nga ang lion kusog mana modagan.
juan: aw...mosaka sa dakong punoan.
pedro: nya wala ka kahibaw nga kamao man pod na mosaka ang lion kay mura mana
sila og iring.
juan: aw...molangoy sa sapa para di na gyud ka gukod.
pedro: nya kamao man pod na molangoy kay mao gud na ang hari sa lasang.
juan(naglagot): matay pedro...unsa man gyud akong sala nimo nga imo man gyud ko
ipakaon sa lion.
pedro: UNSWAAA!!!
pedro: juan! pananglitan kung naay lion nya gukoron ka asa man ka paingon?
juan: kasayon...asa pa di modagan ko.
pedro: nya wala ka kahibaw nga ang lion kusog mana modagan.
juan: aw...mosaka sa dakong punoan.
pedro: nya wala ka kahibaw nga kamao man pod na mosaka ang lion kay mura mana
sila og iring.
juan: aw...molangoy sa sapa para di na gyud ka gukod.
pedro: nya kamao man pod na molangoy kay mao gud na ang hari sa lasang.
juan(naglagot): matay pedro...unsa man gyud akong sala nimo nga imo man gyud ko
ipakaon sa lion.
pedro: UNSWAAA!!!
#1431
Jokes and Humor / Re: TEXT JOKS
November 24, 2007, 12:19:15 PM
BANA: Day, kung unsa gani mahitabo human sa operasyon ayaw pasagdi atong
mga anak ha? i love you day....
ASAWA: hilom dinha, ka OA nimo walay namatay sa TULI oy!......PISOTA KA!.............
mga anak ha? i love you day....
ASAWA: hilom dinha, ka OA nimo walay namatay sa TULI oy!......PISOTA KA!.............
#1432
Jokes and Humor / Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
November 24, 2007, 12:14:53 PM
Eto...try nyo kong matatawa kayo nito..hehehe
Walang Hapunan, Eh!
Bagong salta sa Manhattan sa New York si Bertulfo at ang Misis niya kaya nakitira muna sila sa ikalawang palapag ng bahay ng isang kamag-anak na kasalukuyang nagbabakasyon sa Pilipinas.
Ilang araw nang naghahanap ng trabaho si Bertulfo ngunit talagang mahirap makakita ng trabaho sa kapanahunang iyon. Pagkaraan ng ilang araw, napansin ni Bertulfo at ng misis niya na naubos na ang kanilang baong pera.
Kinaumagahan, pagkagising ni Bertulfo at misis niya, alam nila na wala silang agahan. Ibinulong ni Bertulfo sa misis niya, "Wala na tayong agahan. Magtalik na lang tayo upang makalimutan natin ang ating gutom. Yun na lang ang ating agahan!" At nagtalik ang mag-asawang si Bertulfo at and kaniyang misis.
Umalis na si Bertulfo upang maghanap muli ng trabaho. Katanghalian, bumalik sa bahay si Bertulfo. Wika niya sa Misis niya, "Wala pa rin akong trabaho, kaya wala pa rin tayong pera. Mabuti pa, magtalik na lang muli tayo para makalimutan natin ang ating gutom. Yun na lang ang ating pananghalian!" At nagtalik muli ang mag-asawang si Bertulfo at ang kaniyang misis.
Umalis muli si Bertulfo upang maghanap muli ng trabaho. Kinagabihan, bumalik sa bahay si Bertulfo. Nakita ni Bertulfo na umakyat ang misis niya sa tuktok ng hagdanan. Pagkatapos, ay sumakay sa gabay ng hagdanan at nagpadausos pababa ang misis niya. Muling umakyat sa tuktok ng hagdanan ang misis niya at muling sumakay sa gabay ng hagdanan at muling nagpadausos pababa ang misis niya. Makailang paulit-ulit na ginawa ito ng misis ni Bertulfo.
Hindi maintindihan ni Bertulfo ang ginagawa ng misis niya kaya napilitan siyang magtanong, "Ano nga bang talaga ang ginagawa mo?"
Sagot ng misis ni Bertulfo, "Alam kong uuwi kang walang trabaho't wala pa ring pera, kaya ini-init ko na itong ating hapunan..."
Walang Hapunan, Eh!
Bagong salta sa Manhattan sa New York si Bertulfo at ang Misis niya kaya nakitira muna sila sa ikalawang palapag ng bahay ng isang kamag-anak na kasalukuyang nagbabakasyon sa Pilipinas.
Ilang araw nang naghahanap ng trabaho si Bertulfo ngunit talagang mahirap makakita ng trabaho sa kapanahunang iyon. Pagkaraan ng ilang araw, napansin ni Bertulfo at ng misis niya na naubos na ang kanilang baong pera.
Kinaumagahan, pagkagising ni Bertulfo at misis niya, alam nila na wala silang agahan. Ibinulong ni Bertulfo sa misis niya, "Wala na tayong agahan. Magtalik na lang tayo upang makalimutan natin ang ating gutom. Yun na lang ang ating agahan!" At nagtalik ang mag-asawang si Bertulfo at and kaniyang misis.
Umalis na si Bertulfo upang maghanap muli ng trabaho. Katanghalian, bumalik sa bahay si Bertulfo. Wika niya sa Misis niya, "Wala pa rin akong trabaho, kaya wala pa rin tayong pera. Mabuti pa, magtalik na lang muli tayo para makalimutan natin ang ating gutom. Yun na lang ang ating pananghalian!" At nagtalik muli ang mag-asawang si Bertulfo at ang kaniyang misis.
Umalis muli si Bertulfo upang maghanap muli ng trabaho. Kinagabihan, bumalik sa bahay si Bertulfo. Nakita ni Bertulfo na umakyat ang misis niya sa tuktok ng hagdanan. Pagkatapos, ay sumakay sa gabay ng hagdanan at nagpadausos pababa ang misis niya. Muling umakyat sa tuktok ng hagdanan ang misis niya at muling sumakay sa gabay ng hagdanan at muling nagpadausos pababa ang misis niya. Makailang paulit-ulit na ginawa ito ng misis ni Bertulfo.
Hindi maintindihan ni Bertulfo ang ginagawa ng misis niya kaya napilitan siyang magtanong, "Ano nga bang talaga ang ginagawa mo?"
Sagot ng misis ni Bertulfo, "Alam kong uuwi kang walang trabaho't wala pa ring pera, kaya ini-init ko na itong ating hapunan..."
#1433
Eyeball / Re: Any helpful suggestions to make Dec. 2007 EB Unforgettable?
November 24, 2007, 11:35:52 AMQuote from: Bambi on November 23, 2007, 07:57:12 PMsureness bams, little bit busy in the office para pagbalik nako diri pohon dili na kaayo hazzle..tnx.
Thanks Barbaro......I will keep it noted and be there okey? I will also forward it to Sigbin......the best is, you must report every now and then for further informations. Kumusta?
God Bless
#1434
Bohol Tourism | Bohol Travel & Tour / Re: My Wish for Dear Ginger
November 24, 2007, 11:31:41 AM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY hazel,
may our almighty father give you long life and guide u always, may His blessings and graces will shower to u...
#1435
Love Talk / Re: " Bisan ug Saging basta Labing "
November 24, 2007, 11:17:39 AM
ahhh.. porbida sad ng saging.. mangagisi man sad atong lubot ana ug inutong, usa pa maka high blood ng saging..
#1436
Eyeball / Re: Any helpful suggestions to make Dec. 2007 EB Unforgettable?
November 23, 2007, 01:02:16 PM
for me 30th & 31st pwedi..
my contact number is..+639068014167
c/o my mother
my contact number is..+639068014167
c/o my mother
#1437
Anonymous Diary Blog / Re: Human Cloning: Morally wrong? Ethically wrong? Your views..
November 23, 2007, 12:47:27 PM
and believes it is ethically unacceptable to use the technique to clone a human. ... 58% said they thought cloning was morally wrong, while 63% said they believed ...
#1438
General Topic / Re: What did you eat for your Thanksgiving dinner?
November 23, 2007, 12:37:17 PM
Happy Thanksgiving to you all..
#1439
Jokes and Humor / Re: Funny Pictures
November 23, 2007, 12:30:14 PM
tallest meets the smallest man of the world
#1440
Jokes and Humor / Re: Gagssss
November 23, 2007, 12:24:01 PM
Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now... I never looked at it this way before:
MENtal illness
MENstrual cramps
MENtal breakdown
MENopause
GUYnecologist
And when we have REAL trouble, it's a...
HISterectomy
Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN?
MENtal illness
MENstrual cramps
MENtal breakdown
MENopause
GUYnecologist
And when we have REAL trouble, it's a...
HISterectomy
Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN?
#1441
Jokes and Humor / Re: Men & Women
November 23, 2007, 12:18:31 PM
Advice From Men To Women
...Never buy a 'new' brand of beer because 'it was on sale.'
...If we're in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn't mean we're not watching it.
...Don't tell anyone we can't afford a new car. Tell them we don't want one.
...Whenever possible please try to say whatever you have to say during commercials.
...Please don't drive when you're not driving.
...Don't feel compelled to tell us how all the people in your stories are related to one another: We're just nodding, waiting for the punchline.
...The quarterback who just got pummeled isn't trying to be brave. He's just not crying. Big difference!
...When the waiter asks if everything's okay, a simple 'Yes' is fine.
...Never buy a 'new' brand of beer because 'it was on sale.'
...If we're in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn't mean we're not watching it.
...Don't tell anyone we can't afford a new car. Tell them we don't want one.
...Whenever possible please try to say whatever you have to say during commercials.
...Please don't drive when you're not driving.
...Don't feel compelled to tell us how all the people in your stories are related to one another: We're just nodding, waiting for the punchline.
...The quarterback who just got pummeled isn't trying to be brave. He's just not crying. Big difference!
...When the waiter asks if everything's okay, a simple 'Yes' is fine.
#1442
Jokes and Humor / Re: Joke Time Again!!!
November 23, 2007, 12:13:32 PM
Pa ngilngiggay gamit ug Samurai:
Indian: Waaah! Langaw patay!
Hapon: Wata! Langaw putol ulo!
Pinoy: wata ( Langaw milupad ghapon)
Hapon: Oi! Ngano lupad man ghapon na?
Pinoy: Aw patyon diay? Abe nako tuli-on lang!
Indian: Waaah! Langaw patay!
Hapon: Wata! Langaw putol ulo!
Pinoy: wata ( Langaw milupad ghapon)
Hapon: Oi! Ngano lupad man ghapon na?
Pinoy: Aw patyon diay? Abe nako tuli-on lang!
#1443
Jokes and Humor / Re: TEXT JOKS
November 23, 2007, 12:12:05 PM
Anak: Daddy, ngano sige man ga-agulo si Mommy kada gabie?
Daddy: Wala lang nak happy lang siya..
Anak: Mao bah? Imo buot pasabot kada gabie cya happy bisag katong naa paka SAUDI!
wahahah ahak na...
Daddy: Wala lang nak happy lang siya..
Anak: Mao bah? Imo buot pasabot kada gabie cya happy bisag katong naa paka SAUDI!
wahahah ahak na...
#1444
Jokes and Humor / Re: It's Joke Time Again!!!
November 23, 2007, 12:10:17 PM
Consul: Your name, please?
Arabo: Abdul Aziz!
Consul: Sex?
Arabo: Six times a week.
Consul: I mean, male or female?
Arabo: both male and female sometimes even camel.
Consul: Oh my, holy cow!
Arabao: Yes, cows and dogs too!
Consul: Man, isnt that hostile?
Arabo: Hostile, dogstyle any style!
Consul: Oh dear!
Arabo: Deer? No deer! They run fast!
Arabo: Abdul Aziz!
Consul: Sex?
Arabo: Six times a week.
Consul: I mean, male or female?
Arabo: both male and female sometimes even camel.
Consul: Oh my, holy cow!
Arabao: Yes, cows and dogs too!
Consul: Man, isnt that hostile?
Arabo: Hostile, dogstyle any style!
Consul: Oh dear!
Arabo: Deer? No deer! They run fast!
#1445
Jokes and Humor / Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
November 23, 2007, 12:08:45 PM
Girl: Excuse me, were can I find the vibrators?
Clerk: Sa wall po nakadisplay maam
Girl: Ok Ill buy that big red one.
Clerk: Ay bruha! Fire Extinguisher yan!
Clerk: Sa wall po nakadisplay maam
Girl: Ok Ill buy that big red one.
Clerk: Ay bruha! Fire Extinguisher yan!
#1446
Jokes and Humor / Re: The Inday Adventures
November 23, 2007, 12:01:28 PM
Si Manang ang Bagong Katunggali ni Inday!
†Ang batayan ng pagiging mahusay na kasambahay ay hindi masusukat sa kakayahan sa isang mahusay na pakikipagtalastasan gamit ang pananalitang banyaga. Sa halip, ito’y masusuri sa kakayahang gampanan ang pangkalahatang gawain at pagsisilbi sa taong pinaglilingkuran. Wala sa salita kundi sa gawa!â€
Si Manang, ang bagong pantapat kay Inday!
ABANGAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
†Ang batayan ng pagiging mahusay na kasambahay ay hindi masusukat sa kakayahan sa isang mahusay na pakikipagtalastasan gamit ang pananalitang banyaga. Sa halip, ito’y masusuri sa kakayahang gampanan ang pangkalahatang gawain at pagsisilbi sa taong pinaglilingkuran. Wala sa salita kundi sa gawa!â€
Si Manang, ang bagong pantapat kay Inday!
ABANGAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#1447
Inspiration & Hope / Get busy
November 23, 2007, 11:53:58 AMA small, simple action is infinitely more effective than a big, complicated excuse. Instead of putting your energy into avoiding effort, put that energy into the effort itself, and you'll get something of value in return for it.
There is something right now that needs to be done. Imagine how great it will feel to have it finished, see what a heavy weight will be lifted from you, then get busy and get it done.
In this moment, in this place, you have a valuable opportunity. You can make something happen, and you can make a difference.
Forget about judging whether one task is difficult and another task is easy. Don't be concerned about figuring out what is pleasant and what is unpleasant.
Just take a deep breath, sit up or stand up straight, and with a steady and confident sense of determination, get busy. Soon you'll find yourself moving rapidly toward real and fulfilling accomplishment.
You can worry and complain about how nothing ever gets done, or you can take it upon yourself to make a real and positive difference. The moment for action is now, so get busy and convert this fleeting bit of time into an accomplishment that will bring you value for a long, long time.
Ralph Marston
#1448
Inspiration & Hope / Truly impressive
November 23, 2007, 11:52:29 AMAlways know that what other people think of you is their own concern, not yours. Do what you know is right, and fully accept that others will think what they will think.
Certainly it is valuable to make a good impression. Keep in mind, though, that the best way to make a good impression is not to worry endlessly about what others think.
The way to make the best impression is to be authentic. Allow the goodness that is within you to shine through your genuine courtesy, kindness, respect and consideration.
By caring so much about receiving validation from others, you prevent yourself from getting it. Instead, share your real value with those around you and that value will be clear for all to see.
Don't waste your time and effort keeping up appearances. Put your attention and energy into real solid substance, and your appearance will take care of itself.
The more you strive to make a good impression, the less successful you'll be at doing so. Just relax and be yourself, and you'll be truly and authentically impressive.
Ralph Marston
#1449
Inspiration & Hope / Put it to use
November 23, 2007, 11:51:32 AMA gift that is fully used is a gift that is truly appreciated. If you are sincerely thankful for the abundance in your life, then make something beautiful out of it.
Don't make the mistake of hoarding or hiding away those things for which you are most thankful. For if you keep them stashed away in the dark, they will fade away into nothing.
Instead, keep your abundance out in the open where you can give it life from moment to moment. The more you make use of it, the more valuable it will become.
Go beyond merely counting your blessings. Take them out, immerse yourself in their value, and bring them more fully to life each day.
What you're able to make use of most passionately and effectively will then come to you in even greater abundance. The best way to be thankful for anything is to completely and purposefully put it to use.
The abundance you experience today is but a mere seed of what can be. With each moment, nourish that seed and be amazed at how magnificently it can grow.
Ralph Marston
#1450
Facts and Trivia / X certificate for Messiah
November 23, 2007, 11:48:16 AMHandel's world-famous Messiah, recorded by the London Philharmonic Orchestra, has been given an X certificate by an online music store.
Apple Computer's online iTunes Music Store marked the baroque composer's masterpiece with the red warning that indicates the content might not be appropriate for young children or others with sensitive tastes.
That puts German born George Frideric Handel, who became a naturalised Englishman in 1727, in the same category as rapper Eminem whose music has also been slapped with an "explicit" warning.
The 1742 composition is on a recording by the London Philharmonic Orchestra conducted by John Alldis.
According to Apple it wasn't a case that the music was too hot to handle. But the warning was a technical mix-up, though The Messiah does touch on love, violence and death.
"Obviously, there's been some sort of error," said Lara Vacante, an Apple spokeswoman.
weird news
September 19, 2003
#1451
Facts and Trivia / Re: DID YOU KNOW
November 23, 2007, 11:43:49 AM
The names of the continents all end with the same letter with which they start, with the exception of North America.
#1452
Jokes and Humor / Re: Funny Pictures
November 22, 2007, 06:08:18 PMQuote from: Bambi on November 20, 2007, 07:34:24 AM
Hi Barbs!
How are you? Don't forget our EB sa Dec ha?
hi.. bams..im very sorry for my target date its hard to book i got my comfirmation 21 of december im there in manila on 23rd.
#1453
Question and Answer / Re: Tubag Bohol Bayle
November 16, 2007, 04:36:26 AM
special dance . alang sa pula nga ribbon.. walay mosagol, ug naay mosagol boak bagol bagol..
#1454
Help & Support / Re: No more toink and minus
November 15, 2007, 07:56:20 AM
wahaha wala na diay koy kalingawan ug toink.. joks.. dili sad bitaw ko tig gamit.
#1455
Jokes and Humor / Re: Men & Women
November 12, 2007, 08:57:30 AM
oisttt.. dis-a man sad ka anang balitaa oi..busy preparasyon kay mo uli ko..no other than that...
#1456
Facts and Trivia / Fastest motorist jailed after 172mph Porsche spin.
November 12, 2007, 08:54:52 AM
Sept 27, 2007
Porsche 911 turbo. A British driver was clocked driving one at 172mph.
Fastest motorist jailed after 172mph Porsche spin
by Gulliver
The fastest motorist ever caught speeding in Britain has been sent to jail for 10 weeks.
Tim Brady was clocked on speed camera driving at a record 172 miles (277 kilometers) per hour on the A420 near Abingdon in Oxfordshire.
The 33-year-old from Harrow in North West London was taking a £98,000 ($198,000) 3.6-litre Porsche 911 Turbo for a spin.
Brady pleaded to one count of dangerous driving. He denied another charge of aggravated vehicle taking.
At Oxford Crown Court, he was jailed, banned from driving for three years and ordered to pay £474 in costs.
Sentencing him, Judge David Morton condemned his driving as "criminally self-indulgent and utterly thoughtless of the danger you might be creating for the innocent."
The court heard that Brady took the Porsche from his workplace without permission on January 27.
When stopped by police, he said: "Oh s***, oh s***, I've lost my job."
Brady quit his job as a delivery driver for the luxury car hire firm Helphire days after his arrest.
His lawyer, John Reilly, said Brady had admitted his actions were "foolhardy, stupid and done in a moment of weakness".
A police spokesman said the Porsche was travelling at 77 metres per second and needed over 500 metres in which to stop.
"To put that into context, the average duration of a single blink of the eye is 0.3 seconds, during which time the car would have travelled 23 metres," the spokesman added.
Police said Brady managed to stop the car in 681 metres, though it was wobbling due to the heavy braking.
The Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents described the episode as "an absolutely terrifying piece of driving
Porsche 911 turbo. A British driver was clocked driving one at 172mph.
Fastest motorist jailed after 172mph Porsche spin
by Gulliver
The fastest motorist ever caught speeding in Britain has been sent to jail for 10 weeks.
Tim Brady was clocked on speed camera driving at a record 172 miles (277 kilometers) per hour on the A420 near Abingdon in Oxfordshire.
The 33-year-old from Harrow in North West London was taking a £98,000 ($198,000) 3.6-litre Porsche 911 Turbo for a spin.
Brady pleaded to one count of dangerous driving. He denied another charge of aggravated vehicle taking.
At Oxford Crown Court, he was jailed, banned from driving for three years and ordered to pay £474 in costs.
Sentencing him, Judge David Morton condemned his driving as "criminally self-indulgent and utterly thoughtless of the danger you might be creating for the innocent."
The court heard that Brady took the Porsche from his workplace without permission on January 27.
When stopped by police, he said: "Oh s***, oh s***, I've lost my job."
Brady quit his job as a delivery driver for the luxury car hire firm Helphire days after his arrest.
His lawyer, John Reilly, said Brady had admitted his actions were "foolhardy, stupid and done in a moment of weakness".
A police spokesman said the Porsche was travelling at 77 metres per second and needed over 500 metres in which to stop.
"To put that into context, the average duration of a single blink of the eye is 0.3 seconds, during which time the car would have travelled 23 metres," the spokesman added.
Police said Brady managed to stop the car in 681 metres, though it was wobbling due to the heavy braking.
The Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents described the episode as "an absolutely terrifying piece of driving
#1457
Facts and Trivia / Re: DID YOU KNOW
November 12, 2007, 08:50:21 AM
Elvis had a twin brother named Aaron, who died at birth, which is why Elvis' middle name was spelled Aron: in honor of his brother. It is also misspelled on his tomb stone.
#1458
Inspiration & Hope / The newness of life
November 12, 2007, 08:44:47 AMIn order to learn something new you must first accept that you do not know it. To fully understand another person, you must let go of your desire to make blind assumptions and judgments about that person.
Turn down the volume and intensity of your own chattering thoughts, and you can hear the music of life. Stop expecting to see what you've always seen before, and new and wondrous beauty will appear in front of your eyes.
When you continue to perform a task the exact same way you've always done it, your effectiveness cannot improve very much. Be open to new ideas and techniques, and you can vastly accelerate your performance.
If you cynically think you've experienced it all, you'll close yourself off from much of life's richness. If you consider yourself smarter than everyone else, you'll be supporting and advancing your own growing ignorance.
Open your mind and your heart to the newness of life that comes with each moment. There is always more to learn, more to experience, more to appreciate and enjoy, no matter how much you've already done.
With each dawning day, a whole new world of possibilities is born. Allow yourself to know and acknowledge their newness, and bring the best of those possibilities to life.
Ralph Marston
#1459
Jokes and Humor / Re: Men & Women
November 12, 2007, 08:43:28 AM
SEMINARS FOR MALES
1. Combating Stupidity
2. You, too, can do housework
3. PMS -- Learn when to keep your mouth shut.
4. How to fill an ice tray
5. We do not want sleazy underthings for Christmas -- Give us money
6. Understanding the female response to your coming in drunk at 4: 00am
7. Wonderful laundry techniques (formerly titled "Don't wash my silks")
8. Parenting -- No, it doesn't end with conception
9. Get a life -- learn to cook and then clean up the kitchen
10. How not to act like a jerk when you're obviously wrong
11. Spelling -- Even you can get it right
12. Understanding your financial incompetence
13. You -- The Weaker Sex
14. Reasons to give flowers
15. How to stay awake after sex
16. Why it is unacceptable to relieve yourself anywhere but the bathroom
17. Garbage -- Getting it to the curb
18. You can fall asleep without "it" if you really try
19. The morning dilemma: shower first, THEN breakfast
20. I'll wear it if I damn well please
21. How to put the toilet lid down (formerly "No, it's not a bidet")
22. "The weekend" and "sports" are not synonyms
23. Give me a break -- Why we know your excuses are b.s.
24. How to go shopping with your mate and not get lost
25. The remote control -- Overcoming your dependency
26. Romanticism - Ideas other than sex
27. Helpful postural hints for couch potatoes
28. Mother-in-laws -- They are often people, too
29. Male bonding -- Leaving your friends at home
30. You too can be a designated driver
31. Seeing the true you (formerly "No, you don't look like Mel Gibson,
especially when naked")
32. Changing your underwear -- It really works
33. Fluffing the blankets after flatulation is NOT necessary
34. Techniques for calling home
Now, for the females.... (seminars will be given by men only)
SEMINARS FOR WOMEN
1. "Are you ready to leave?" -- Definition of the word "yes"
2. Appropriate rhetorical questions (Formerly "Honey, do I look fat?")
3. Elementary Map Reading
4. Crying and law enforcement
5. Advanced Math Seminar -- Program your VCR
6. You can go shopping for less then 4 hours
7. Gaining five pounds v. the end of the world: a study in contrast
8. The Seven-Outfit Week v the Seven-Week Outfit
9. PMS -- It's YOUR Problem, Not Mine (was: It's Happened Monthly
Since Puberty -- Deal With It)
10. Driving I: Getting past automatic transmission
11. Driving II: The meaning of blinking red lights
12. Driving III: Approximating a constant speed
13. Driving IV: Makeup and Driving--It's As Simple As Oil and Water
14. The Super Bowl: Not a Game--A Sacrament
15. Telephone Translations (was: "Me too" equals "I Love You")
16. How to Earn Your Own Money, not just Spend His
17. Giftgiving Fundamentals (was: Fabric Bad, Electronics Good)
18. Putting the Seat Down By Yourself: Potential Energy is on Your Side
19. Know When to Say When: The Limits of Makeup
20. Beyond "Clean and Dirty": The Nuances of Wearable Laundry
21. We forget birthdays, you forget sports stats: LET'S LET IT DROP
22. MYOB: Proper response to other couple's public arguments
23. Yes, You Can Buy Condoms (was: WE learned to deal with the
embarrassment)
24. Joys of the Remote Control: Reaping the Benefits of 50+ Channels
25. What Goes Around Comes Around--Why His Credit Card is Not a Toy
27. His Poker Games: Deal Yourself Out
28. Committment Schmittment (was: Wedlock Schmedlock)
29. "To Honor and Obey: " Remembering the small print above "I Do"
30. Why Your Mother Is Unwelcome In The House
31. Your Mate: Selfish Jerk, or Victimized Sensitive Man-child Healing
Wound by Expressing the Latent Wild Man Within?
32. Yes, you too can were the same clothes more than once!
1. Combating Stupidity
2. You, too, can do housework
3. PMS -- Learn when to keep your mouth shut.
4. How to fill an ice tray
5. We do not want sleazy underthings for Christmas -- Give us money
6. Understanding the female response to your coming in drunk at 4: 00am
7. Wonderful laundry techniques (formerly titled "Don't wash my silks")
8. Parenting -- No, it doesn't end with conception
9. Get a life -- learn to cook and then clean up the kitchen
10. How not to act like a jerk when you're obviously wrong
11. Spelling -- Even you can get it right
12. Understanding your financial incompetence
13. You -- The Weaker Sex
14. Reasons to give flowers
15. How to stay awake after sex
16. Why it is unacceptable to relieve yourself anywhere but the bathroom
17. Garbage -- Getting it to the curb
18. You can fall asleep without "it" if you really try
19. The morning dilemma: shower first, THEN breakfast
20. I'll wear it if I damn well please
21. How to put the toilet lid down (formerly "No, it's not a bidet")
22. "The weekend" and "sports" are not synonyms
23. Give me a break -- Why we know your excuses are b.s.
24. How to go shopping with your mate and not get lost
25. The remote control -- Overcoming your dependency
26. Romanticism - Ideas other than sex
27. Helpful postural hints for couch potatoes
28. Mother-in-laws -- They are often people, too
29. Male bonding -- Leaving your friends at home
30. You too can be a designated driver
31. Seeing the true you (formerly "No, you don't look like Mel Gibson,
especially when naked")
32. Changing your underwear -- It really works
33. Fluffing the blankets after flatulation is NOT necessary
34. Techniques for calling home
Now, for the females.... (seminars will be given by men only)
SEMINARS FOR WOMEN
1. "Are you ready to leave?" -- Definition of the word "yes"
2. Appropriate rhetorical questions (Formerly "Honey, do I look fat?")
3. Elementary Map Reading
4. Crying and law enforcement
5. Advanced Math Seminar -- Program your VCR
6. You can go shopping for less then 4 hours
7. Gaining five pounds v. the end of the world: a study in contrast
8. The Seven-Outfit Week v the Seven-Week Outfit
9. PMS -- It's YOUR Problem, Not Mine (was: It's Happened Monthly
Since Puberty -- Deal With It)
10. Driving I: Getting past automatic transmission
11. Driving II: The meaning of blinking red lights
12. Driving III: Approximating a constant speed
13. Driving IV: Makeup and Driving--It's As Simple As Oil and Water
14. The Super Bowl: Not a Game--A Sacrament
15. Telephone Translations (was: "Me too" equals "I Love You")
16. How to Earn Your Own Money, not just Spend His
17. Giftgiving Fundamentals (was: Fabric Bad, Electronics Good)
18. Putting the Seat Down By Yourself: Potential Energy is on Your Side
19. Know When to Say When: The Limits of Makeup
20. Beyond "Clean and Dirty": The Nuances of Wearable Laundry
21. We forget birthdays, you forget sports stats: LET'S LET IT DROP
22. MYOB: Proper response to other couple's public arguments
23. Yes, You Can Buy Condoms (was: WE learned to deal with the
embarrassment)
24. Joys of the Remote Control: Reaping the Benefits of 50+ Channels
25. What Goes Around Comes Around--Why His Credit Card is Not a Toy
27. His Poker Games: Deal Yourself Out
28. Committment Schmittment (was: Wedlock Schmedlock)
29. "To Honor and Obey: " Remembering the small print above "I Do"
30. Why Your Mother Is Unwelcome In The House
31. Your Mate: Selfish Jerk, or Victimized Sensitive Man-child Healing
Wound by Expressing the Latent Wild Man Within?
32. Yes, you too can were the same clothes more than once!
#1460
Jokes and Humor / Re: The Inday Adventures
November 12, 2007, 08:38:38 AM
Nasali si Inday sa Deal or No Deal Part 4
… dumating na sa kalagitnaan ng show at mukhang minamalas na si Inday…
Kris: Ok Inday, mukhang kelangan na natin ng tulong sa mga friends mo… sino ba yung bigotilyong lalaki na naka-polo? Ano name nya?
Inday: Ahh, that’s my master Mr. Montemayor.
Kris: Ahhh sya pala yun, how cute naman pala eh. Sige sir, give us a number.
Mr. Montemayor: Hi Kris, good evening. I’m a fan. I choose number 12 please.
Kris: Ano Inday ok ba yung number 12?
Inday: Whatever, we shouldn’t bite the hand that feeds us anyway. Go ahead.
Kris: [taray naman] Sofie, buksan na!
[ang laman ng briefcase 12 ay 5,000]
Kris: Good job! Sino naman yung gwapong lalake na naka jumper na katabi ni Mr. Montemayor? What’s his name?
Inday: Ahh, that’s my on again off again boyfriend, Dodong the gardener.
Kris: Ooohh, sya pala yun. Ok Dodong, give us a number!
Dodong: Hi babes, I choose briefcase 9 if it’s ok with you. If not, it’s ok with me as long as it’s ok with you.
Kris: Ano raw? Inday, number 9 daw ok say0?
Inday: Yes Kris, it’s fine with me.
Kris: Wow ang bait pag kay Dodong. Ederlyn… buksan na!!
…nanlaki ang mga mata ni Inday at hindi sya makapaniwala. Natahimik at mukhang kakapusin sya ng hininga…
Inday: YOU!!! How dare you invade my moment!
[nagulat si Kris at ang mga audience sa reaksyon ni Inday. Nagpatawag si Kris ng commercial break at nagpakuha ng tubig para kay Inday.]
… dumating na sa kalagitnaan ng show at mukhang minamalas na si Inday…
Kris: Ok Inday, mukhang kelangan na natin ng tulong sa mga friends mo… sino ba yung bigotilyong lalaki na naka-polo? Ano name nya?
Inday: Ahh, that’s my master Mr. Montemayor.
Kris: Ahhh sya pala yun, how cute naman pala eh. Sige sir, give us a number.
Mr. Montemayor: Hi Kris, good evening. I’m a fan. I choose number 12 please.
Kris: Ano Inday ok ba yung number 12?
Inday: Whatever, we shouldn’t bite the hand that feeds us anyway. Go ahead.
Kris: [taray naman] Sofie, buksan na!
[ang laman ng briefcase 12 ay 5,000]
Kris: Good job! Sino naman yung gwapong lalake na naka jumper na katabi ni Mr. Montemayor? What’s his name?
Inday: Ahh, that’s my on again off again boyfriend, Dodong the gardener.
Kris: Ooohh, sya pala yun. Ok Dodong, give us a number!
Dodong: Hi babes, I choose briefcase 9 if it’s ok with you. If not, it’s ok with me as long as it’s ok with you.
Kris: Ano raw? Inday, number 9 daw ok say0?
Inday: Yes Kris, it’s fine with me.
Kris: Wow ang bait pag kay Dodong. Ederlyn… buksan na!!
…nanlaki ang mga mata ni Inday at hindi sya makapaniwala. Natahimik at mukhang kakapusin sya ng hininga…
Inday: YOU!!! How dare you invade my moment!
[nagulat si Kris at ang mga audience sa reaksyon ni Inday. Nagpatawag si Kris ng commercial break at nagpakuha ng tubig para kay Inday.]
#1461
Jokes and Humor / Re: Gagssss
November 12, 2007, 08:34:32 AM
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
“But, officer,†the man began, “I can explainâ€
“Just be quiet,†snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.â€
“But, officer, I just wanted to sayâ€
“And I said to keep quiet! You’re going to jail!â€
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, “Lucky for you that the chief’s at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back.â€
“Don’t count on it,†answered the fellow in the cell. “I’m the groom.â€
“But, officer,†the man began, “I can explainâ€
“Just be quiet,†snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.â€
“But, officer, I just wanted to sayâ€
“And I said to keep quiet! You’re going to jail!â€
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, “Lucky for you that the chief’s at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back.â€
“Don’t count on it,†answered the fellow in the cell. “I’m the groom.â€
#1462
Jokes and Humor / Re: It's Joke Time Again!!!
November 12, 2007, 08:28:42 AM
Tungang gabie, Hot kayo si misis, hawop2 nya ilong ni mister, gi gitik ang li-og,
Dala pamarayeg nga hung2 sa dungan, love wala na koy panty. Tubag ni mister
Ha! Cge lang, tulog na diha kay ugma palitan tika!
greeee..lokong mr oi wa kasabot..wehehehh
Dala pamarayeg nga hung2 sa dungan, love wala na koy panty. Tubag ni mister
Ha! Cge lang, tulog na diha kay ugma palitan tika!
greeee..lokong mr oi wa kasabot..wehehehh
#1463
Jokes and Humor / Re: TEXT JOKS
November 12, 2007, 08:26:45 AM
Son: Tay kasab-an ko ako maestro ganina!
Tatay: Ha! Ngano man?
Son: Ako gi kiss-san ako seatmate ganina!
Tatay: tong anak ko, liwat jud nako dah! He,he,he nya lami bah?
Son: Opo tay, gwapo kaayo siya!
Tatay: Ha! Ngano man?
Son: Ako gi kiss-san ako seatmate ganina!
Tatay: tong anak ko, liwat jud nako dah! He,he,he nya lami bah?
Son: Opo tay, gwapo kaayo siya!
#1464
Jokes and Humor / Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
November 12, 2007, 08:24:48 AM
2 ka amiga hubog sa bar. Paguli, niagi sa cemetery. Nangalibang ang duha. Ang usa gigamit ang panty para itrapo ug gilabay; ug ang usa, nakakitag wreth sa lubong ug maoy gitrapo.
Pagkabuntag, ang ilang bana nagkita
Bitoy: Pre, bantayan nato ang atong mga misis, ang ako nipauli kagabii wa nay panty.
Berting: Ang ako mas grabe pre dunay card nipilit sa iyang lobot nga nag-ingon, well never forget you, from all the guys at the Fire Dept.!
Pagkabuntag, ang ilang bana nagkita
Bitoy: Pre, bantayan nato ang atong mga misis, ang ako nipauli kagabii wa nay panty.
Berting: Ang ako mas grabe pre dunay card nipilit sa iyang lobot nga nag-ingon, well never forget you, from all the guys at the Fire Dept.!
#1466
Jokes and Humor / Re: Actual call center conversations!
November 12, 2007, 08:22:33 AMKano: Hello? Is this Texas Technology Company Makati?
Lady operator: Come again sir?
Kano: Is this T.T. Co Makati?
Lady Operator: Eh di kamutin mo! Gago!
#1467
Jokes and Humor / Re: Joke Time Again!!!
November 12, 2007, 08:19:42 AM
A ship sank..2 sailors adrift..
Sailor 1: Lord, palahubog mi, mga sugarol, botakal nya daghan mi mga kabit. If you
Save us Lord we promise to ..
Sailor 2: Taymsa! Ayaw sa promise naa ko nakit-an na island!
Sailor 1: Lord, palahubog mi, mga sugarol, botakal nya daghan mi mga kabit. If you
Save us Lord we promise to ..
Sailor 2: Taymsa! Ayaw sa promise naa ko nakit-an na island!
#1468
Jokes and Humor / Re: Funny Pictures
November 12, 2007, 08:14:53 AM
is there something strange here..
#1469
Jokes and Humor / Excuse letters
November 12, 2007, 08:10:35 AM
From a media loop)
These are excuse notes from parents (including original spelling)collected by schools from all over the country.
1. My son is under a doctors care and should not take P.E. today.Please execute him. (Hala! Sige. Silya elektrika at bitay. Sabay pa! O kaya niyo yun?)
2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had hershot. (Pag nag-absent pala papatayin ka…Baka may rabies…)
These are excuse notes from parents (including original spelling)collected by schools from all over the country.
1. My son is under a doctors care and should not take P.E. today.Please execute him. (Hala! Sige. Silya elektrika at bitay. Sabay pa! O kaya niyo yun?)
2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had hershot. (Pag nag-absent pala papatayin ka…Baka may rabies…)
#1470
Jokes and Humor / Re: Joke Time Again!!!
November 12, 2007, 07:43:23 AMQuote from: Glen on November 10, 2007, 05:40:19 AMlami bitaw ng turon.. labi nag butangan ug nangkang hinong apil pag prito..
Pagkapalamoot jod nimo Barbs Oy!
abi ko unsa nga T..imo pasabot kay ang Tsikita nga banana
dile man maka-on ang balat.
Sos kay Turon man diay
gimingaw noon ko turon Barbs.
#1471
Jokes and Humor / Re: Funny Pictures
November 10, 2007, 03:26:47 AM
This Dad has the right idea..
#1472
Facts and Trivia / Re: DID YOU KNOW
November 10, 2007, 03:17:43 AM
Did you know that every year over one million earthquakes shake the Earth!
#1473
Inspiration & Hope / Focus
November 10, 2007, 03:14:31 AMIf you focus on resentment, you'll create many more things to resent. When you focus on gratitude, you'll bring many more things into your life for which to be thankful.
Focus on anger, and you'll continue finding additional reasons to be angry. Focus on love, and the opportunities for experiencing love will greatly multiply.
Focus on life's best possibilities, and you'll move steadily in the direction of your dreams. Focus on the things you truly value, and they grow even more valuable.
Focus on what you are able to give, and you'll greatly expand what you are able to have. Focus your energy, your attention, your interest and your passion on some particular thing, and you can make the impossible happen.
Where is your focus most consistently directed? That is where your life is most certainly headed.
By choosing your focus, you choose your lifestyle, the world around you, and your future. Focus on what is truly good and right and valuable for you, and you will be gloriously immersed in that goodness.
Ralph Marston
#1474
Inspiration & Hope / See the bright future
November 10, 2007, 03:13:21 AMWhat has happened before has brought you to where you are. Yet the past has no control over where you can go from here.
Your past history does not create your future. The choices you make right now are what create the substance of that future.
Learn from your mistakes, but do not agonize over them. There is nothing you can do to change the fact that they happened, yet there is much you can do to move positively beyond them.
When you dwell on the past it holds you prisoner. When you let it go, that allows you to go anywhere you now choose.
People change, circumstances change, and you can change too. With each moment comes the opportunity to shake off the old assumptions and limitations, to give new purpose and meaning to life.
Give new energy, new effort, new commitment and determination to this day that you have the good fortune to be living. See the bright future that can be, and you will make it so.
Ralph Marston
#1475
Inspiration & Hope / Freedom
November 10, 2007, 03:11:40 AMYou can notice your thoughts, use them, learn from them, and find value in them. Yet you do not have to let them hold you back.
You can experience your feelings, explore their depths and find richness in them. Yet you do not have to let them stop you in any way.
You are free to act, free to think, free to love, free to move in the direction of whatever you choose. Nothing outside of you or inside of you can take that freedom away unless you let it.
When you find yourself building limitations in your mind, know that you have the power and ability to allow those limitations to dissolve completely away. When you feel yourself creating resistance, understand that you can just as easily release that resistance.
You are free at any time to take something toward which you've felt negative and turn it into a positive influence in your life. You are free to change, to grow, to learn and to create.
When you feel stuck, let that feeling be, and then you can just as easily let it go. Whatever happens, keep reminding yourself that freedom is always an option, real and available to you.
Ralph Marston
#1476
Jokes and Humor / Re: Gagssss
November 10, 2007, 03:08:45 AM
A couple were driving to a church to get married. On the way, they got into a car accident and died. When they arrive in heaven, they see St. Peter at the gate. They ask him if he could arrange it so they could marry in heaven. St. Peter tells them that he'll do his best to work on it for them.
Three months pass by and the couple hear nothing. They bump into St. Peter and ask him about the marriage.
He says, "I'm still working on it."
Two years pass by and no marriage.
St. Peter again assures them that he's working on it.
Finally after twenty long years, St. Peter comes running with a priest and tells the couple it's time for their wedding.
The couple marry and live happily for a while. But after a few months the couple go and find St. Peter and tell him things are not working out, and that they want to get a divorce.
"Can you arrange it for us?" they ask.
St. Peter replies, "Are you kidding?! It took me twenty years to find a priest up here. How am I gonna find you a lawyer?"
Three months pass by and the couple hear nothing. They bump into St. Peter and ask him about the marriage.
He says, "I'm still working on it."
Two years pass by and no marriage.
St. Peter again assures them that he's working on it.
Finally after twenty long years, St. Peter comes running with a priest and tells the couple it's time for their wedding.
The couple marry and live happily for a while. But after a few months the couple go and find St. Peter and tell him things are not working out, and that they want to get a divorce.
"Can you arrange it for us?" they ask.
St. Peter replies, "Are you kidding?! It took me twenty years to find a priest up here. How am I gonna find you a lawyer?"
#1477
Jokes and Humor / Re: It's Joke Time Again!!!
November 10, 2007, 03:03:01 AM
Sir: inday si sir mo ito.. nabangga ang kotse ko at I need cashInday: Aru! Dugo-dugo gang ka noh??
Sir: Ano ka ba! Si sir mo ito!!!!
Inday: Hey!! Si sir ang tawag sa kin CUPCAKE!!!
Sir: Ano ka ba! Si sir mo ito!!!!
Inday: Hey!! Si sir ang tawag sa kin CUPCAKE!!!
#1478
Jokes and Humor / Re: TEXT JOKS
November 10, 2007, 02:59:29 AM
Gustong malaman ng magkaibigan kung may basketbolan sa langit.
Nagkasundo sila na kung sino ang unang mamatay ay babalik upang sabihinkung may basketbol sa langit.
Naunang namatay si Dado.
Isang gabi, may narinig na boses si Rodel na parang kay Dado.
"Ikaw ba 'yan, Dado?" usisa ni Rodel.
"Oo naman!" tugon ni Dado."Parang hindi totoo!" bulalas ni Rodel."
O, ano, meron bang basketbol sa langit?"
Sagot ni Dado, "May maganda at masama akong balita sa 'yo.Ang maganda, may basketbol doon.
Ang masama... kasali ka sa makakalaban namin bukas!"
Nagkasundo sila na kung sino ang unang mamatay ay babalik upang sabihinkung may basketbol sa langit.
Naunang namatay si Dado.
Isang gabi, may narinig na boses si Rodel na parang kay Dado.
"Ikaw ba 'yan, Dado?" usisa ni Rodel.
"Oo naman!" tugon ni Dado."Parang hindi totoo!" bulalas ni Rodel."
O, ano, meron bang basketbol sa langit?"
Sagot ni Dado, "May maganda at masama akong balita sa 'yo.Ang maganda, may basketbol doon.
Ang masama... kasali ka sa makakalaban namin bukas!"
#1479
Jokes and Humor / Re: Joke Time Again!!!
November 10, 2007, 02:58:02 AM
Ano ang saging na mataba? Saba
Ano ang sa ging na maliit? Senorita
Ano ang saging na sinusubo pati balat?
It begins with T.Esep-esep.
Sirit na? E'di Turon...
Ano ang sa ging na maliit? Senorita
Ano ang saging na sinusubo pati balat?
It begins with T.Esep-esep.
Sirit na? E'di Turon...
#1481
Jokes and Humor / Re: The Inday Adventures
November 10, 2007, 02:55:21 AM
Nasali si Inday sa Deal or No Deal Part 3
Kris: Sige Natalie, Buksan mo na.
[Ang laman ng briefcase 7 ay Piso … Palakpakan ang mga tao]
Kris: Good start! Ano yung next case mo ulit?
Inday: Case number 24 please.
Kris: Chloe… buksan na…
[Audience sumisigaw ulit ng LOWER!! LOWER!!]
Kris: Wait lang guys, Inday may nabuksan ng case baket di ka pa rin sumisigaw ng "Lower"?
Inday: Oh my goodness Kris, how long have you been doing this? Have you ever encountered a value that is lower than a peso in this game? Tell me, is there any value left lower than the one we just opened? Sheesh.
[Napaisip ulit ang audience at natahimik]
Kris: Aarrgghh!!!! Chloe buksan na lang nga, pati na rin yung 12, 2, 15 and 20 buksan na rin para matapos na. [naiirita na]
[At sunod sunod na ngang nabukas ang mga case ni Inday]
[nag-ring ang phone]
Inday: Ahh Kris, to save more time can you tell Banker that I'm not interested in his first offer. In the history of this game of chance, I have yet to see someone accept a first offer from the banker. It's quite pathetic and pretentious for contestants to pause and look around the audience as if asking for advice before ultimately rejecting the first offer. I mean come on, isn't that a waste of airtime?
Banker: Potahhh!!! [narinig sa set kahit sarado ang kwarto ni banker]
- Ito ang unang pagkakataon na marinig ng mga audience ang boses ni banker sa Deal or no Deal.
Kris: Sige Natalie, Buksan mo na.
[Ang laman ng briefcase 7 ay Piso … Palakpakan ang mga tao]
Kris: Good start! Ano yung next case mo ulit?
Inday: Case number 24 please.
Kris: Chloe… buksan na…
[Audience sumisigaw ulit ng LOWER!! LOWER!!]
Kris: Wait lang guys, Inday may nabuksan ng case baket di ka pa rin sumisigaw ng "Lower"?
Inday: Oh my goodness Kris, how long have you been doing this? Have you ever encountered a value that is lower than a peso in this game? Tell me, is there any value left lower than the one we just opened? Sheesh.
[Napaisip ulit ang audience at natahimik]
Kris: Aarrgghh!!!! Chloe buksan na lang nga, pati na rin yung 12, 2, 15 and 20 buksan na rin para matapos na. [naiirita na]
[At sunod sunod na ngang nabukas ang mga case ni Inday]
[nag-ring ang phone]
Inday: Ahh Kris, to save more time can you tell Banker that I'm not interested in his first offer. In the history of this game of chance, I have yet to see someone accept a first offer from the banker. It's quite pathetic and pretentious for contestants to pause and look around the audience as if asking for advice before ultimately rejecting the first offer. I mean come on, isn't that a waste of airtime?
Banker: Potahhh!!! [narinig sa set kahit sarado ang kwarto ni banker]
- Ito ang unang pagkakataon na marinig ng mga audience ang boses ni banker sa Deal or no Deal.
#1482
Jokes and Humor / Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
November 10, 2007, 02:52:09 AM
BF: may malaki ako problema.
GF: wag mo sabihin problema mo lang, problema natin dahil nagmamahalan tayo. ngayon ano problema natin?
BF: nabuntis natin si inday at tayo ang ama.
GF: wag mo sabihin problema mo lang, problema natin dahil nagmamahalan tayo. ngayon ano problema natin?
BF: nabuntis natin si inday at tayo ang ama.
#1483
Jokes and Humor / Re: Joke Time Again!!!
November 07, 2007, 05:21:58 PM
Advantage at disadvantage ng may-asawa...
ADVANTAGE: 'Pag kailangan mo, nandiyan agad.
DISADVANTAGE: 'Pag ayaw mo na, andiyan pa rin!
ADVANTAGE: 'Pag kailangan mo, nandiyan agad.
DISADVANTAGE: 'Pag ayaw mo na, andiyan pa rin!
#1484
Jokes and Humor / Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
November 07, 2007, 05:20:58 PM
Usapan ng dalawang bata...
Junjun: Magaling ang tatay ko! Alam mo, 'yang Pacific Ocean, siya anghumukay nun!
Pedrito: Wala 'yan sa tatay ko! Alam mo 'yung Dead Sea?
Junjun: Oo...
Pedrito: Siya ang pumatay nun!
Junjun: Magaling ang tatay ko! Alam mo, 'yang Pacific Ocean, siya anghumukay nun!
Pedrito: Wala 'yan sa tatay ko! Alam mo 'yung Dead Sea?
Junjun: Oo...
Pedrito: Siya ang pumatay nun!
#1485
Jokes and Humor / Re: TEXT JOKS
November 07, 2007, 05:18:56 PM
Stewardess: Do you want a drink, sir?
Sir: What are my choices?
Stewardess: Yes or No.
Sir: What are my choices?
Stewardess: Yes or No.
#1486
Jokes and Humor / Re: The Inday Adventures
November 07, 2007, 05:16:48 PM
Nasali si Inday sa Deal or No Deal Part 2
Kris: Ok Inday, choose 6 briefcases to open.
Inday: I would opt for 7, 24, 12, 2, 15 and 20.
Kris: Wait lang Inday, usually isa isa lang ang pagbubukas natin ng case…
Inday: Why is that? As if I can change the outcome if we're to open a case each time I blurt out a number as opposed to opening each case immediately one after the other right?
Kris: Hayyy…babaguhin pa talaga mechanics (bulong sa sarili).
Kris: Anwyay, di bale na lang nga… tuloy tayo. Number 7. Natalie buksan na!!
[Yung audience sumisigaw ng LOWER!! LOWER!!!]
Kris: Teka lang, bago natin buksan… Inday, usually ang mga contestants naten ay sumisigaw ng "LOWER" every time magbubukas ng case.
Inday: Kris, I guess that's not the way I was taught in grade school. You see, I was taught that we should only use the comparative form of the word or add "ER" to the adjective if we are comparing two things. And since it is only the first briefcase that we are going to open, we have nothing to compare it to. Am I right?
[natahimik ang audience at napaisip]
Kris: Oo nga no!
Kris: Ok Inday, choose 6 briefcases to open.
Inday: I would opt for 7, 24, 12, 2, 15 and 20.
Kris: Wait lang Inday, usually isa isa lang ang pagbubukas natin ng case…
Inday: Why is that? As if I can change the outcome if we're to open a case each time I blurt out a number as opposed to opening each case immediately one after the other right?
Kris: Hayyy…babaguhin pa talaga mechanics (bulong sa sarili).
Kris: Anwyay, di bale na lang nga… tuloy tayo. Number 7. Natalie buksan na!!
[Yung audience sumisigaw ng LOWER!! LOWER!!!]
Kris: Teka lang, bago natin buksan… Inday, usually ang mga contestants naten ay sumisigaw ng "LOWER" every time magbubukas ng case.
Inday: Kris, I guess that's not the way I was taught in grade school. You see, I was taught that we should only use the comparative form of the word or add "ER" to the adjective if we are comparing two things. And since it is only the first briefcase that we are going to open, we have nothing to compare it to. Am I right?
[natahimik ang audience at napaisip]
Kris: Oo nga no!
#1487
Jokes and Humor / Re: Gagssss
November 07, 2007, 04:59:20 PM
what time does the bar open?
At 3 AM a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens.
"It opens at noon" answers the clerk.
About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker.
"What time does the bar open?" he asks.
"Same time as before... Noon." replies the clerk.
Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered "Whatjoo shay the bar opins at?"
The clerk then answers, "It opens at noon, but if you can't wait, I can have room service send something up to you."
"No... I don't wanna git in... Ah wanna git OUT!!!"
At 3 AM a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens.
"It opens at noon" answers the clerk.
About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker.
"What time does the bar open?" he asks.
"Same time as before... Noon." replies the clerk.
Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered "Whatjoo shay the bar opins at?"
The clerk then answers, "It opens at noon, but if you can't wait, I can have room service send something up to you."
"No... I don't wanna git in... Ah wanna git OUT!!!"
#1488
Facts and Trivia / Re: DID YOU KNOW
November 07, 2007, 04:52:18 PM
Did you know that the average person falls asleep in seven minutes!
#1489
Health and Food / EFFECTS OF COLD WATER
November 07, 2007, 04:44:38 PM
For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you. It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion. Once this "sludge" reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.
A serious note about heart attacks - You should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting. Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line.
You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack. Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms. 60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know the better chance we could survive.
A cardiologist says if everyone who reads this message sends it to 10 people, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life. Read this & Send the link to a friend. It could save a life. So, please be a true friend and send this article to all your friends you care about.
#1492
Eyeball / Re: Morning the Night EB
November 07, 2007, 04:00:23 PM
thank you for the pictures! see u guys pohon on december...
#1493
Jokes and Humor / Re: The Inday Adventures
November 01, 2007, 12:23:23 PM
Si Inday (deal or no deal edition)
Sumali si Inday sa Deal or No Deal
Kris: Magandang gabi mga kapamilya, sa gameshow na ito importante ang sagot sa nag-iisang katanungang Deal or no Deal. Ang ating player ngayong gabi ay walang iba kundi ang fastest-rising household services manager na si Inday!
[umentra si Inday at nagpalakpakan ang mga tao]
Kris: Ok Inday, choose a briefcase.
Inday: Kris, I would opt for case #4 please.
Kris: Briefcase # 4… si Sharmel. Inday, matanong ko lang, how did you come up with the number 4?
Inday: Oh, do you really want to know Kris?
Kris: Oo naman. I'm sure kaya ko naman maintindihan yung sasabihin mo eh.
Inday: The number 4 was acquired based on a probability distribution function that involves integrating up to an area greater than or equal to that random number which should be generated between 0 and 1 for proper distributions.
Kris: Syet. tanong tanong pa kasi eh.
Sumali si Inday sa Deal or No Deal
Kris: Magandang gabi mga kapamilya, sa gameshow na ito importante ang sagot sa nag-iisang katanungang Deal or no Deal. Ang ating player ngayong gabi ay walang iba kundi ang fastest-rising household services manager na si Inday!
[umentra si Inday at nagpalakpakan ang mga tao]
Kris: Ok Inday, choose a briefcase.
Inday: Kris, I would opt for case #4 please.
Kris: Briefcase # 4… si Sharmel. Inday, matanong ko lang, how did you come up with the number 4?
Inday: Oh, do you really want to know Kris?
Kris: Oo naman. I'm sure kaya ko naman maintindihan yung sasabihin mo eh.
Inday: The number 4 was acquired based on a probability distribution function that involves integrating up to an area greater than or equal to that random number which should be generated between 0 and 1 for proper distributions.
Kris: Syet. tanong tanong pa kasi eh.
#1494
Jokes and Humor / Re: Men & Women
October 29, 2007, 04:00:07 PM
THE WONDERFUL MAN: IDEAL vs. REAL
IDEAL REAL (what you want) (what you're lucky to get) -intellectual -reads "interesting articles" in "Palyboy" -artistic -often wears matching socks -considerate -splatters just a bit; only leaves the seat up 50% of the time -interested in your mind -sometimes looks up from your chest -faithful -only looks at other babes in your absence -hopelessly romantic -able to distinguish between cactus and rose -classy -keeps "Playboys" hidden -sensitive -notices when you cry -communicates well -answers phone sometimes -cross-cultural -swears in Spanish -progressive -knows difference between "woman" and "girl" -great lover -sex lasts longer than cigarette -clean -only has herpes and its "under control" -athletic -gets his own seconds -loves kids and pets -had snake he fed live things to -good taste in music -has one good Dylan tape that a friend gave to him
IDEAL REAL (what you want) (what you're lucky to get) -intellectual -reads "interesting articles" in "Palyboy" -artistic -often wears matching socks -considerate -splatters just a bit; only leaves the seat up 50% of the time -interested in your mind -sometimes looks up from your chest -faithful -only looks at other babes in your absence -hopelessly romantic -able to distinguish between cactus and rose -classy -keeps "Playboys" hidden -sensitive -notices when you cry -communicates well -answers phone sometimes -cross-cultural -swears in Spanish -progressive -knows difference between "woman" and "girl" -great lover -sex lasts longer than cigarette -clean -only has herpes and its "under control" -athletic -gets his own seconds -loves kids and pets -had snake he fed live things to -good taste in music -has one good Dylan tape that a friend gave to him
#1495
Jokes and Humor / Re: Gagssss
October 29, 2007, 03:52:49 PM
Some of the lesser known, new phobias...
"Hey, this is a nude beach. I ain't getting in that cold water!" - Shrinkaphobia
"Get that ******* vodka bottle away from me!!" - Carmenelectraphobia
"He's coming straight for us -- with his left turn signal on!" - Oldfartophobia
"You have to push 'Start' to turn the damn computer off?!" - Windophobia
"No! Don't call the plumber!!!" - Buttcrackaphobia
"No, I don't want to watch 'Friends'. That blonde chick freaks me out." - Phoebephobia
"Um, Doctor, why are you putting on that rubber glove?" - Probeophobia
"You're busy Saturday? Well, how about next weekend then?" ~ Rentanotherpornophobia
"Hey, this is a nude beach. I ain't getting in that cold water!" - Shrinkaphobia
"Get that ******* vodka bottle away from me!!" - Carmenelectraphobia
"He's coming straight for us -- with his left turn signal on!" - Oldfartophobia
"You have to push 'Start' to turn the damn computer off?!" - Windophobia
"No! Don't call the plumber!!!" - Buttcrackaphobia
"No, I don't want to watch 'Friends'. That blonde chick freaks me out." - Phoebephobia
"Um, Doctor, why are you putting on that rubber glove?" - Probeophobia
"You're busy Saturday? Well, how about next weekend then?" ~ Rentanotherpornophobia
#1496
Jokes and Humor / Re: Joke Time Again!!!
October 29, 2007, 03:41:32 PM
SPANISH TEACHER: class, use PUERA in sentence.
PUPIL: mi maestros son bonhas (all the teachers are beautiful)
SPANISH TEACHER: oh, that's very flattering, but where's PUERA?
PUPIL: PUERA ka!
PUPIL: mi maestros son bonhas (all the teachers are beautiful)
SPANISH TEACHER: oh, that's very flattering, but where's PUERA?
PUPIL: PUERA ka!
#1497
Jokes and Humor / Re: It's Joke Time Again!!!
October 29, 2007, 03:38:33 PM
MISTER: ano ang pagkain natin?
MISIS: nasa mesa, bahala ka na pumili!
MISTER: isang pirasong tuyo? ano pagpipilian ko?
MISIS: pumili ka kung kakain ka o hindi!
MISIS: nasa mesa, bahala ka na pumili!
MISTER: isang pirasong tuyo? ano pagpipilian ko?
MISIS: pumili ka kung kakain ka o hindi!
#1498
Jokes and Humor / Re: TEXT JOKS
October 29, 2007, 03:36:09 PM
PERFECT HEAVEN: Having American salary,
British home, German car, Chinese food, and Pinoy wife!
PERFECT HELL: Having Korean car, British wife,
German food, American home and Pinoy salary!
British home, German car, Chinese food, and Pinoy wife!
PERFECT HELL: Having Korean car, British wife,
German food, American home and Pinoy salary!
#1499
Jokes and Humor / Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
October 29, 2007, 03:34:09 PM
Home version of who wants to be a millionaire:
Husband: dear puede ka ba ngayon?
Wife: di puede pagod ako!
Husband: is that final?
Wife: FINAL!!!!
Husband: ok, can i phone a friend?!?
Husband: dear puede ka ba ngayon?
Wife: di puede pagod ako!
Husband: is that final?
Wife: FINAL!!!!
Husband: ok, can i phone a friend?!?
#1500
Weird and Extreme / Fastest motorist jailed after 172mph Porsche spin
October 29, 2007, 01:36:57 PM
Sept 27, 2007
Fastest motorist jailed after 172mph Porsche spin
by Gulliver
Porsche 911 turbo. A British driver was clocked driving one at 172mph.
The fastest motorist ever caught speeding in Britain has been sent to jail for 10 weeks.
Tim Brady was clocked on speed camera driving at a record 172 miles (277 kilometers) per hour on the A420 near Abingdon in Oxfordshire.
The 33-year-old from Harrow in North West London was taking a £98,000 ($198,000) 3.6-litre Porsche 911 Turbo for a spin.
Brady pleaded to one count of dangerous driving. He denied another charge of aggravated vehicle taking.
At Oxford Crown Court, he was jailed, banned from driving for three years and ordered to pay £474 in costs.
Sentencing him, Judge David Morton condemned his driving as "criminally self-indulgent and utterly thoughtless of the danger you might be creating for the innocent."
The court heard that Brady took the Porsche from his workplace without permission on January 27.
When stopped by police, he said: "Oh s***, oh s***, I've lost my job."
Brady quit his job as a delivery driver for the luxury car hire firm Helphire days after his arrest.
His lawyer, John Reilly, said Brady had admitted his actions were "foolhardy, stupid and done in a moment of weakness".
A police spokesman said the Porsche was travelling at 77 metres per second and needed over 500 metres in which to stop.
"To put that into context, the average duration of a single blink of the eye is 0.3 seconds, during which time the car would have travelled 23 metres," the spokesman added.
Police said Brady managed to stop the car in 681 metres, though it was wobbling due to the heavy braking.
The Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents described the episode as "an absolutely terrifying piece of driving".
Fastest motorist jailed after 172mph Porsche spin
by Gulliver
Porsche 911 turbo. A British driver was clocked driving one at 172mph.
The fastest motorist ever caught speeding in Britain has been sent to jail for 10 weeks.
Tim Brady was clocked on speed camera driving at a record 172 miles (277 kilometers) per hour on the A420 near Abingdon in Oxfordshire.
The 33-year-old from Harrow in North West London was taking a £98,000 ($198,000) 3.6-litre Porsche 911 Turbo for a spin.
Brady pleaded to one count of dangerous driving. He denied another charge of aggravated vehicle taking.
At Oxford Crown Court, he was jailed, banned from driving for three years and ordered to pay £474 in costs.
Sentencing him, Judge David Morton condemned his driving as "criminally self-indulgent and utterly thoughtless of the danger you might be creating for the innocent."
The court heard that Brady took the Porsche from his workplace without permission on January 27.
When stopped by police, he said: "Oh s***, oh s***, I've lost my job."
Brady quit his job as a delivery driver for the luxury car hire firm Helphire days after his arrest.
His lawyer, John Reilly, said Brady had admitted his actions were "foolhardy, stupid and done in a moment of weakness".
A police spokesman said the Porsche was travelling at 77 metres per second and needed over 500 metres in which to stop.
"To put that into context, the average duration of a single blink of the eye is 0.3 seconds, during which time the car would have travelled 23 metres," the spokesman added.
Police said Brady managed to stop the car in 681 metres, though it was wobbling due to the heavy braking.
The Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents described the episode as "an absolutely terrifying piece of driving".