Quote from: lumine on June 07, 2007, 02:38:18 PM
this is a forwarded email i got from my aunt.
it's funny but it's true.
here it goes........
Di ko alam kung matatawa ako rito o maiinis....
Because of the bad press this country is getting. When I travel
people often ask me why I live in the Philippines. Well here it
is.
It is the only place on earth...........
Where every street has a basketball court. Where even doctors,
lawyers and engineers are
unemployed. Where doctors study to become nurses for employment abroad.
Where students pay more money than they will earn afterwards.
Where school is considered the second home and the mall
considered
the third.
Where call-center employees earn more money than teachers and
nurses.
Where everyone has his personal ghost story and superstition.
Where mountains like Makiling and Banahaw are considered holy
places.
Where everything can be forged.
Where all kinds of animals are edible. Where Starbucks coffee is
more
expensive than gas. Where driving 4 kms can take as much as four
hours. Where flyovers bring you from the freeway to the side
streets.
Where crossing the street involves running for your dear life.
Where
the personal computer is mainly used for games and Friendster.
Where
colonial mentality is dishonestly denied! Where 4 a.m. is not
even
considered bedtime yet. Where people can pay to defy the law.
Where
everything and everyone is spoofed. Where even the
poverty-stricken
get to wear Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfiger (peke)! Where the
honking
of car horns is a way of life. Where being called a bum is never
offensive. Where floodwaters take up more than 90 percent of the
streets during the rainy season.
Where everyone has a relative abroad who keeps them alive. Where
wearing your national colors makes you baduy. Where even the
poverty-stricken have the latest cell phones. (GSM-galing sa
magnanakaw) Where insurance does not work. Where water can only be
classified as tap and dirty - clean water is for sale (35 pesos per
gallon). Where the government makes the people pray for miracles. (Amen
to
that!)
Where University of the Philippines is where all the weird people
go.
Ateneo is where all the nerds go.
La Salle is where all the Chinese go. College of Saint Benilde is where
all
the stupid Chinese go, and University of Asia and the Pacific is where
all
the irrelevantly rich people go. Where fast food is a diet meal. Where
traffic signs are merely suggestions, not regulations.
Where being mugged is normal.. It happens to everyone. Where rodents
are
normal house pets. Where the definition of traffic is the
'non-movement'
of
vehicles. Where the fighter planes of the 1940s are used for military
engagements, and the new fighter planes are displayed in museums. Where
cigarettes and alcohol are a necessity, and where the lottery is a
commodity.
Where soap operas tell the realities of life and where the news
provides the drama. Where actors make the rules and where
politicians
provide the entertainment. Where people can get away with
stealing
trillions of pesos, but not a thousand. Where being an hour late
is
still considered punctual. (Grabe talaga 'to!) Where the
squatters
have more to complain (even if they do not pay their tax) ----
than
those employed and have their tax automatically deducted from
their
salaries.
and Where everyone wants to leave the country!
FILIPINO SIGNS OF WIT the sign in a flower shop in Diliman
called Petal Attraction.
Anita Bakery, a 24-hour restaurant called Doris Day & Night
Barber shop called: Felix The Cut a bakery named
Bread Pitt, fast-food place selling 'maruya' (banana fritters) called
Maruya Carey. Then, there are Christopher Plumbing a boutique called
The
Way We Wear; a video rental shop called Leon King Video Rental; a
restaurant in the Cainta district of Rizal called Caintacky Fried
Chicken,
a local burger restaurant called Mang Donald's, a doughnut shop called
MacDonuts, a shop selling 'lumpia' (egg roll) in Makati called Wrap and
Roll, and two butcher shops called Meating Place and Meatropolis.
Smart travelers can decipher what may look like baffling signs to
unaccustomed foreigners by simply sounding out the 'Taglish' (the
Philippine version of English words spelled and pronounced with a heavy
Filipino
such as, at a restaurant menu in Cebu 'We hab sopdrink in can an in
batol'
[translation: We have soft drinks in can and in bottle].
Then, there is a sewing accessories shop called Bids And Pises
[translation: Beads and Pieces --or-- Bits and Pieces].
There are also many signs with either badly chosen or misspelled words,
but
they are usually so entertaining that it would be a mistake to
'correct'
them.
In a restaurant in Baguio City, the 'summer capital' of the
Philippines:
'
Wanted: Boy Waitress'; on a highway in Pampanga: 'We Make Modern
Antique
Furniture;' on the window of a photography shop in Cabanatuan: 'We
Shoot
You While You Wait;' and on the glass front of a cafe in Panay Avenue
in
Manila: ' Wanted: Waiter, Cashier, Washier.'
Some of the notices can even give a wrong impression, such as, a shoe
store
in Pangasinan which has a sign saying: 'We Sell Imported Robber Shoes'
(these could be the 'sneakiest' sneakers); and a rental property sign
in
Jaro, reads: 'House For Rent, Fully Furnaced' (it must really be hot
inside)! Occasionally, one could come across signs that are truly
unique--if not altogether odd. City in southern Philippines, which
said:
'Adults: 1 peso; Child: 50 centavos; Cadavers: fare subject to
negotiation.'
European tourists may also be intrigued to discover two competing shops
selling hopia (a Chinese pastry) called Holland Hopia and Poland Hopia,
which are owned and operated by two local Chinese entrepreneurs, Mr. Ho
and
Mr. Po respectively- -(believe it or not)! Some folks also 'creatively'
redesign English to be more efficient 'The creative confusion between
language and culture leads to more than just simple unintentional
errors
in
syntax, but in the adoption of new words,' says reader Robert
Goodfellow,
who came across a sign that
House Fersallarend' (house for sale or rent). Why use five words when
two
will do?
According to Manila businessman, Tonyboy Ongsiako, there is so much wit
in
the Philippines because '. . . we are a country where a good sense of
humor
is needed to survive. We have a 24-hour comedy show here called the
government and a huge reserve of comedians made up mostly of
politicians
and bad actors.
Now I ask you where else in the world would one want to live?
still in the philippines hehehe!
Tubag Bohol is an extension of my love for Bohol - without counting the cost.
, so I was one of the unfortunate one. 
