MikeLigalig.com

A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the stomach.

Luckily the babies were OK. The surgeon decided to leave the bullets in because it was too risky to operate. She gave birth to two healthy daughters and a healthy son.

All was fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walked into the room in tears.

"What's wrong?" asked the mother. "I was peeing and this bullet came out," replied the daughter.

The mother told her it was okay and explained what happened 16 years ago.

About a week later the second daughter walked into the room in tears. "Mom, I was peeing and this bullet came out."

Again the mother told her not to worry and explained what happened 16 years ago.

A week later her son walked into the room in tears. "It's okay" said the Mom, "I know what happened, you were peeing and a bullet came out."

"No," said the boy, "I was playing with myself and I shot the dog."

In case you missed it on '60 Minutes', this is what  Andy Rooney thinks
about women over 40:


60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS)

As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all.  Here are just a few
reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask,
'What are you thinking?'  She doesn't care what you think.
If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around
whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually
more interesting.
Women over 40 are dignified.  They  seldom have a screaming match with
you  at the opera or in the middle of an expensive  restaurant. Of
course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think
they can get away with it..
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved.   They know what
it's like to be unappreciated.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a
woman over 40.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than
her younger counter part.
Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off you are
a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where
you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons.  Unfortunately,
it's not reciprocal.
For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a
bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some
22-year old waitress.
Ladies, I   apologize.

For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for
free?', here's an update for you.
Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage..  Why? Because women realize
it's not worth buying an entire pig  just to get a little sausage!

                             Andy Rooney is a really smart guy!

is for all the Filipinos out there, and those who are lucky enough to have Filipino friends, those who have Filipino spouses and those who have Filipino next door neighbors...    

The story goes like this:   

An elderly Foreigner  lay dying in his bed . While  suffering the agonies of impending death ,  he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite food, Filipino Lumpia.   
 
Gathering his remaining strength, he lifted himself from the bed.  Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and   with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands he crawled to the kitchen.       

With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame gazing into the kitchen.  Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven.. For there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite food, LUMPIA  .         

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted Filipino wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?   
 
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture…his parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the lumpia was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life.   
 
The aged and withered hand trembled on to a lumpia, when he was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife,     
 
 
"Git out op here!" she shouted  "dis are por your puneral !"

Most of us smokers do not realize that when we smoke, our mouth breath smells like the Payatas Garbage dump or the smell of human excreta in the by-ways of Binian, Laguna. When I was still chasing girls (not now, magagalit si commander), I used to be a 2-pack-day-smoker with my beloved relative "Camel". Somehow, I noticed that whenever I would speak to some one, he/she would try to cover his/her nose with forefingers and I thought the guy or gal must smelling something bad coming from me. This was confirmed to me by another close friend that nobody wants to speak to me at close range because of my bad breath.

With that thought in mind on bad breath, I tried to clean my mouth. Brushed my teeth 3 times a day. Tried to gargle vinegar often. In the mean time, the taste of cigarette became uncomfortable to taste. I began forgetting to smoke for about 3 days. I tried smoking some more because I see others of my age very macho when they smoke but on my part with 3 times daily brushing of my teeth gargling vinegar, cigarette would instead cause me to throw up. I eventually forgot smoking for good with no more bad breath. Had I not quit smoking my favorite relative "Camel" because of its cause of emitting bad breath from my oral instrument, I think none of us would have been arguing what the hell this Grand Jury thing is all about.

This is an unsolicited advice for a future President of the Philippines, NoyNoy Aquino. Why smoke when you don't like the taste of cigarette smoke? That's the answer about the following I-Net news..

http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/lifestyle/09/14/09/group-asks-noynoy-quit-smoking

NO SIGNAL
A policeman saw a man on the top floor of a building.
Police: 'Wag kang tatalon! Marami pang nagmamahal sa 'yo!
Man: Tumahimik ka! 'Wag mo kong pakialaman! 'Di ako maka-send!

Tay: Nawala na ang Inay mo, ngayon naman ikakasal ka na.
Anak: Tay! Sa kabilang kanto lang naman ang bahay namin!
Tay: Hay, salamat! Magkikita pa rin kami ng yaya mo.

Genie: Dahil pinalaya mo ako, may 3 wishes ka!
Man: Gawin mo akong rich, pero di bayad ng tax; powerful, pero di halata; notorious, pero wala sabit.
Genie: Mula ngayon ikaw na si PING LACSON.

Sgt: Boss, nakatakas si Al-Ghozi.
Ebdane: Huh! Did you seal all exits?
Sgt: Yes, sir!
Ebdane: Eh paano siya nakatakas?
Sgt: Doon po kasi siya lumabas sa entrance.

Vet: Sorry po, patay na aso nyo. Pinaliguan kasi ng anak nyo ng laundry soap.
Nanay: Anong masama sa sabon?
Vet: Di siya doon namatay, sa washing machine!

Minamahal kong anak,

Medyo mabagal akong mag type ngayon dahil alam kong mabagal kang
magbasa.Nandito na kami sa probinsya para tirahan ang bagong bili na
bahay.
Pero hindi ko maibigay sa iyo ang address dahil dinala ng dating
nakatira
ang number para daw hindi na sila magpapalit ng address.

Maganda ang lugar na ito at malayo sa Manila. Dalawang beses lang umulan
sa linggong ito, tatlong araw noong una at apat na araw noong pangalawa.

Nakakainis lang ang mga paninda dito katulad nun nabili ko na shampoo
dahil ayaw bumula. Nakasulat kasi FOR DRY HAIR kaya hindi ko binabasa
ang buhok ko pag ginagamit ko. Mamaya ay ibabalik ko sa tindahan at magrereklamo ako.

Noong isang araw naman ay hindi ako makapasok sa bahay dahil ayaw
bumukas ng padlock. Nakasulat kasi ay YA! LE, eh aba namalat na ako sa kasisigaw
ay hindi pa din bumubukas. Magrereklamo din ako sa nagbenta ng bahay,akala
nila hindi ko alam na SIGAW ang tagalog ng YALE, wise yata ito!

Mayroon nga pala akong nabili na magandang jacket at tiyak na
magugustuhan mo. Ipinadala ko na sa iyo sa dahil medyo mahal daw dahil mabigat ang
mga botones kaya ang ginawa ko ay tinanggal ko na lang ang mga botones at
inilagay ko na lang sa bulsa ng jacket. Ikabit mo na lang pag dating
diyan.

Nagpadala rin ako ng tseke para sa mga nasalanta ng bagyo, hindi
ko na pinirmahan dahil gusto ko na maging anonymous donor .

Ang kapatid mo palang si Jhun ay may trabaho na dito, mayroon
siyang! 500 na tao na under sa kanya. Nag-gugupit siya ngayon ng
damo sa memorial park, okey naman ang kita above minimum ang sahod.
Nakapanganak na rin pala ang ate baby mo, hindi ko pa alam kung
babae o lalake kaya hindi ko pa masasabi na kung ikaw ay bagong
uncle or auntie.

Isa pa nga pala, babalik ako diyan sa Oktubre pero naguguluhan
ako.Di ba yung Victory Liner, BLTB Liner, Pascual Liner at Alfonso
Liner ay mga depasaherong bus, eh, yung Panty Liner bus din ba yun?
Saan ang Terminal nila?

At saka nga pala, me nag-interview sa akin
diyan at nakalimutan kong banggitin sa iyo taga Magandang Umaga
Bayan daw siya at nakunan ako sa TV ang tanong sa akin ay ano raw
sa salitang english ang Kulangot.
Di ko nas! agot.... ikaw anak alam mo?

Wala na akong masyadong balita. Sumulat ka na lang ng madalas.

Love,
Tatay

P.S. Maglalagay sana ako ng pera kaya lang ay naisara ko na ang
envelope. Next time na lang ha..

Many people are now experiencing economic crisis. According to elders the equivalent of P100 before is P1 as of now. And children now will not accept coins, they will just say ” what can I buy for a P5″?

I have here a text to prove of what really the situation many of us are experiencing….

“Hay, pagkalisod jud sa panahon karon
Sauna, makakita ka sa mamalit
bug-at ang basket, hayag ang nawong
Karon,bug-at ang nawong
hayag ang basket”
heheehehe

Distractions only have the power that you give them. To avoid being overpowered by distractions, see them for what they are.
What is it that resonates with your passion and fires up your positive enthusiasm? Whatever it is, that's the thing to focus upon.

When something interrupts your focus, don't fight it. Simply notice it, quickly decide whether it is worth any more of your precious attention, and if not, peacefully let it go.

Don't get angry or resentful that the distraction happened, and don't become obsessed with something that really doesn't matter. Just take a deep breath, smile as you remember your purpose, and move on.

You don't have to be dragged this way and that by random events and circumstances. You can easily stay clearly focused on your dreams, your goals and your intentions.

Your thoughts are yours to choose, and your attention is yours to allocate. Decide to give your attention to those things that matter most, and move purposefully ahead no matter what.

The time is right, right now. Stop waiting and start doing.
When you have the thought to make a difference, act on it. Live out your dreams by putting your ideas quickly into action.

When you are truly and fully committed to a specific outcome, it will happen. Taking action is what authenticates and locks in your commitment.

Once you begin to take action, you've made an investment. The more of your time and energy and focus you invest, the more you'll be motivated to see it through no matter what.

Momentum is essential to any achievement. Taking action is your way to create that momentum.

As soon as you decide to do it, begin to do it. Take the first step now, and you're well on your way to whatever destination you choose.

Eat Bulaga host Joey de Leon wrote a poem in his column in Philippine Star, criticizing Wowowee host Willie Revillame for his actions last August 3, 2009 where he asked on air the removal of the inset video of former President Cory Aquino's cortege.

Here is his poem: (repost from Philippine Star)

Mga kababayan at bayan ko, basahin n'yo

Wala na sa piling ng mga Pilipino,
Tinig ng awiting Mga Kababayan Ko,
At lumisan na rin noong isang Sabado,
Inang nagpalipad sa awiting Bayan Ko.

Ako'y sumasaludo, paalam Pangulo,
May isa 'kong lihim, kay tagal itinago,
Sa lahat nang inabot kong mga namuno,
Tanging ikaw lang sa luha ko'y nagpatulo.

Marami ang nalungkot sa iyong pagyao,
Magalang ang lahat at puno ng respeto,
Nagpasalamat pa nga Kapamilya sa 'yo,
Dahil kanilang himpilan naibalik mo.

Subalit ano itong nabalitaan ko?
Nangyari noong Lunes, a-tres ng Agosto,
Habang inililipat ang mga labi mo,
Ika'y parang nabastos sa isang TV show.

At ang napakasaklap at masakit dito,
Ang nambastos pa'y kapamilya ng anak mo,
Napanood ito ng tao at publiko,
Kakaunti na nga, ngunit lahat nahilo.

Sabi ng TV host na mainit ang ulo
Pagkakita sa video na kanyang kasalo,
"Sandali, meron akong ano. sa'ting ano.
Hindi naman sa ano," nagkaanu-ano!

Ayon sa Internet, meron pa s'yang nasambit,
"Sana pakitanggal muna 'yan sa'ting traffic."
At 'di maaalis sa iyong pag-iisip,
Ang parada ng patay ang pinaliligpit!

At dagdag pa daw ng naghahari-harian,
"I don't think na dapat n'yong ipakita iyan."
Nasaan naman ang paggalang, o nasaan?
Mga sinasabi natin minsa'y pag-ingatan.

At 'di pa nangimi nang sumunod na araw,
Pinilit pa ring ginawa n'ya ay tama raw,
Mga nakarinig 'di na nakagalaw
At ayon sa iba sila na la'y napa-wow!

". Pero ako, totoo 'ko eh . ", sabi kuno,
Totoo nga at totoo ring walang modo,
Pwede namang sabihin itong pa-sikreto,
Kaya't wala na rin mga paliwanag mo.

"Kung ganyan, pakita na lang 'yan!", ang hamon pa,
Para bang ang prusisyon nila-"lang - lang" lang ba,
Ang pangasiwaan ay pinapili pa n'ya,
Sumunod ang himpilan, nung August 5 wala s'ya.

May mga komentong pwede nang pang-harapan,
"On camera" baga sa TV ang tawag d'yan
At kung sensitibo man ang gustong bitawan,
Pagpasok ng commercial, hintayin mo na lang.

Matutong magbaba muna ng mikropono
At saka idikta lahat ng iyong gusto,
Lagi kang mataas lahat daw takot sa 'yo,
Ratings lang ang mababa - totoo ba ito?

The breaking news breaks your heart - at 'yan ang bawi mo,
Nang mahalata mong sumablay ang pasok mo,
Pero sigurado ika'y maa-abswelto,
'Di ba ikaw rin ang may-ari ng network n'yo?

Nung Hueves nag-apologize sa diario naman,
O, akala ko ba wala kang kasalanan,
Tapos ng angalan, sunod paliwanagan -
COMPLAIN before you EXPLAIN ka na naman!

O ito kaya ay isa na namang "glitch" lang,
Tulad ng "two-zero" 'di na natin nalaman,
O ito ay maliwanag na kabobohan?
Sa tingin ng marami, mahirap lusutan.

Ang sabi ng iba - istupidong mayabang,
At giit ng iba - istupidong mayaman,
Mayaman man o mayabang ang tiyak diyan,
Napakayaman n'ya sa kaistupiduhan.

Buti pa ang apat na honor guards ni Cory -
Sina Malab, Laguindan, Rodriguez, Cadiente,
Walong oras tumayo sa ulan at viaje,
Ang lahat ay tiniis at walang sinabi.

Samantalang ikaw na may bubong sa ulo,
Komportable ka lang sa malamig na studio,
Nang kapirasong libing sa TV sumalo,
Angal at inis ang sumambulat sa iyo.

Maaari din namang pabayaan na s'ya,
Subalit ang nangyari'y mabigat talaga,
Namayapang pangulo'y huling paalam na,
'Di mo pa pinagbigyan . hoy, nag-iisa ka!

At nais ko lang sabihin at ipagyabang
Sa mahigit na s'yam na libong tanghalian,
Sa limang pangulong sa Bulaga'y dumaan,
Kahit isa wala kaming nilapastangan

 
What's possible is anything. What's possible, is everything.
What's possible is possible now. What's possible is possible for you.

You can't undo what's already happened. However, you can choose right now from a limitless array of what's possible as you move forward.

Don't limit your thinking to just what's likely or what's probable. Infinitely expand your choices by considering all that is possible.

If you feel stuck, it's probably because you are holding your imagination back. Consider what you've not yet considered, and expect much more than you've ever dared to expect.

Open yourself to what's possible. And delight in living the best of the possibilities.

You can learn from everything. Take full advantage of that great opportunity.
From joy, you can learn. From adversity, you can learn.

From friends, from travel, challenge, disappointment, pleasure, achievement, anger, frustration and beauty, you can learn. From the biggest ideas and the smallest details you can learn.

You can even learn just by thinking in a new way about what you've already learned. Whatever it is you wish to learn, you can learn.

Your knowledge and wisdom add great value and effectiveness to whatever you do. Every day there are countless opportunities to increase that knowledge and that wisdom.

Learning is the ability from which all other abilities arise and improve. Keep on learning all that you can learn.

Do yourself a favor and give yourself a goal. Make it meaningful, make it exciting, make it challenging and then make it happen.
Set your goal a little bit beyond what you already know you can do. Then when you reach it you'll not only have the achievement, you'll also have an increased level of confidence.

As long as you're making the effort to live this day, give it a purpose. Give yourself a goal, and transform fleeting time into lasting accomplishment.

From where you are, you can go anywhere. One by one, the goals you set will get you there.

Working steadily and persistently toward a goal will energize all aspects of your life and bring the awesome power of focus to your efforts. There's truly no feeling quite like it.

Challenge yourself forward with a great and meaningful goal. Give yourself a goal, and make yourself some real treasure.

Hikap-hikapa ang liki
Tuslok-tusloka ang tunga
Bukikia ang pikas
Bulikata ang buak
Inig agas sa puti
Supsopa ang tunga
Ingon ana ang hustong pagkaon sa kaymito,.hehehe

Hikap
hikapa ug maau
gkan punoan hang2d 2moy
pug-a hinay hinay
pislit pislita
iti-on kung mugawas na
unya syagit
Ma!!! WALA na tay COLGATE!..

kapag d pa sya nakahubad
hilain mo ang kanyang saplot
sabunutan mo ang Ball Ball
sa ka mo ngat ngatin
at sip sipin
ang kanyang laman
ganyan ang tamang
pag kain ng
MAIS..

G hold-up c Lumen
Pro kai Wais gbutang nya
ang 500 sa panty mao wa nkuha
Pro pgpalit nya sa grocery wa dwata
kai ngano?
Fake kuno kai nigawas na ang dila ni

 
From where you are, with what you have, live this moment fully. Wishing for things to be perfect, or worrying that things will get worse, will rob you of the great value that already is.
Live now, without holding back and without hesitation. Go ahead, do what you've been meaning to do, and discover new ways to bring great value to life.

The past is already decided and the future is not yet available. Now is when you can savor the boundless richness in which you are immersed.

All is well, all is now, and all is open for you to experience. Life's exquisite beauty is yours the instant you appreciate it.

See the beauty, the wonder, and the rightness in the way things are. Generously express your joy, and feel the great fortune of your existence.

Your moment is now. Live the profound treasure that is.

When you are not satisfied with the available answers, ask the question in a different way. When none of the options will do, look at the situation from a new perspective.
If you are stuck, then it's time to get creative. Know that there are myriad possibilities you have never even considered yet.

You cannot solve a problem when your mind is wrapped tightly around it. For the more effort you make, the more power you give to the problem.

Dwelling on the problem will not get you past it. Focus instead on your purpose.

Let go of your thoughts about what you must go through. Fill your awareness with compelling visions of why you have chosen to go where you seek to go.

Unleash your imagination and tap into the positive power of intention. Rise above where you are and see your way clearly to where you know you must be.

Ang taong nagigipit...sa bumbay kumakapit
      Birds of the same feather make a good feather duster.
      Pag may usok...may nag-iihaw
      Ang taong naglalakad nang matulin... may utang.

      Kapag may sinuksok at walang madukot, may nandukot
      Ang buhay ay parang bato, it's hard
      Walang matigas na tinapay sa gutom na tao
      Kapag may tiyaga, may nilaga; Kapag may taga, may tahi.
      Huli man daw at magaling, undertime pa rin.

      Ang naglalakad ng matulin, late na sa appointment
      Matalino man ang matsing, matsing pa rin.
     
      Aanhin ang palasyo kung ang nakatira ay kuwago, mabuti pa ang bahay kubo,sa paligid puno ng linga.
      Ang sakit ng kalingkingan, kailangan ng alaxan.
      Ang hindi marunong magmahal sa sariling wika, lumaki sa ibang bansa.
      Kapag maikli ang kumot, tumangkad ka na!
     
      No guts, no glory... no ID, no entry
      Better late than later...
      Better late than pregnant
      Behind the clouds are the other clouds
      Do unto others... then run!!!
      No man is an island because time is gold
      To err is human, to errs is humans.
      An apple a day.. is too expensive.
      An apple a day, makes seven apples a week.
      An apple a day cannot be an orange a day.
      If at first you don't succeed, read the instructions
      Try and try until you succeed... or else try another
      When it rains...it floods

      Kapag puno na ang salop, kumuha na ng ibang salop
      Magbiro ka na sa lasing, Magbiro ka na sa bagong gising, 'wag lang sa lasing na bagong gising.
      Hindi lahat ng kumikinang ay ginto.. muta lang yan.
      Kapag ang puno mabunga...mataba ang lupa!
      Pagkahaba haba man ng prusisyon

Look in the direction of what you think you cannot do, of what you've been reluctant to undertake. You'll see a pathway that leads to new levels of success and achievement.
You've already done all the comfortable and familiar things. To create new value, step out into new territory.

You've already successfully adjusted to countless new situations. You've already been able to move forward through all kinds of challenges.

Now is the time to make use of that ability again. Now is when you can boldly venture into new, valuable, productive, effective territory and raise yourself to an even higher level than before.

The fact that the challenges are daunting, serves to make the rewards that much greater. You have what it takes to meet those challenges and reach those rewards.

Open yourself to the opportunities of living richly and making significant, continuing contributions to your world. Follow the possibilities into a bright, new territory of achievement and value

One of the most painful types of conflict is also the easiest conflict to avoid. It is the conflict you have with yourself.
When the person inside is in conflict with the person you are on the outside, it drains your energy and damages your credibility. Yet in an instant, you can be rid of that conflict.

All you have to do is be completely honest about who you are. Drop the pretense, and you rid yourself of a heavy burden.

Stop pretending to be someone you're not. For even if you could manage to be convincing at it, you would gain nothing of real value.

That real value lives in the authentic person you are. In your sincere and deeply felt passions you will find life's most delightful and fulfilling treasures.

There's no need to live in conflict with yourself for even one moment longer. Let the true you shine through, and fulfill the wonderful possibilities that are uniquely yours.

an ilonggo to cebuano...the first one got caught washing his face in the toilet bowl, the later was so upset he said " partner, bat dyan ka naghilamos... the ilonggo said partner malinis naman ang tubig ahh, the cebuano replied "partner dyan ako umiinom tapos pinaghihilamusan mo lang pala, wag naman ganyan pre.... hehehe

Kagabi, sumakay ako sa jeep...lahat cla nakatingin skin...ang sama ng tingin Nla skin...cnubukan kong mag-abot ng bayad pro ndi nla tinangkang kunin ang bayad ko...bigla akong kinilabutan...hanggang sa my kumalabit na matanda sa akin at sinabing...."Arkilado namin ito.." hehehe

I NEVER KNEW THIS! Read, then click on the link.....


Thought that I would pass this along because I am concerned.


I have only recently learned that all computer screens on the

inside are covered with bacteria, dust, germs, etc. that can be

dangerous to your health.


This is caused by a variety of reasons and it can prove to be a

health hazard for everyone who uses the computer.  Some at the CDC

in  Atlanta  have recently said this problem can be as dangerous as

cigarette smoking because of the time most of us now spend on

computers for work and personal reasons.


Below is a link for a Special Program to correct this fast growing

potential Health Problem.


Click on this link to clean the inside of your screen:

http://www.raincitystory.com/flash/screenclean.swf

Energy comes from having a purpose. Creativity flows from having a purpose.
When you are clear about why, you will figure out how. Success is a function of the sincerity of the mission.

Without a meaningful purpose, action leads to disappointment and frustration. Yet when focused upon a compelling reason, action always results in achievement.

Within you are real, authentic reasons why. Within those reasons you'll find great treasure.

No one can separate you from your purpose. Nothing can take the power of that purpose away from you.

Let your thoughts, your words, your perspective and your actions come from your purpose. With your life, you'll achieve many great things.

Whatever you feel on the inside, you will experience on the outside. Life reflects back to you the way you most sincerely and persistently are.
When you're having a joyful day it's because you've decided to do so. The world you see is directly related to the world you intend to see.

From nothing, in an instant, you can create joy. Where there was none before, you can express love.

Do you realize the awesome power in your ability to feel the way you choose to feel? With that power you can change the world.

You're extraordinarily skilled at changing your feelings, and you've had much experience at doing so. Feel the exquisite beauty of this moment, and watch as that beautiful feeling manifests in the world around you.

This is your moment to live more fully than you've ever lived. Feel the possibilities, and bring them joyfully to life.

ALERT !

(A)   The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.


(B)   Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are:   120,000.


(C) Then  accidental deaths caused  per physician are 0.171.


* (Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of  Health and Human Services).   

Now think about this:

(A)   The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000. (Yes, that's 80 million )

(B)   The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is

1,500.   

(C)   Then the  number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .000188.


*( Statistics courtesy of FBI )


So, statistically, doctors are approximately  9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.

From now on remember: 'Guns don't kill people, doctors do.'

FACT:   NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.

Please alert everyone about  this alarming threat!

We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!


NOTE: Out of concern for the public at large, statistics on  Lawyers    where withheld for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention!

One of the upsides of the current upheaval in the global financial system is that people are more careful about spending their money. Rightly so. With many people facing a clear and present danger of losing their jobs, the smartest move would be to stretch one's money as much as possible. Because you'll never know if tomorrow you will still have a job.

In the US and other western countries, it is inevitable that a number of big and small businesses will go pfffttt and close shop due to the financial crisis, displacing thousands of workers. Many companies will also downsize their operations to ensure their long-term survival in the face of a slowing economy which will jack up the number of jobless people. That is why our OFWs are worried sick about their jobs. The government, through DOLE and the DFA, has in fact, started monitoring job losses of Filipinos worldwide.

In Singapore, the employers of some of our domestic helpers are reportedly becoming more irritable because of their investment losses. If employers of our DHs in the Middle East, Europe, Singapore and Hong Kong were hit badly by the global financial storm they may no longer be able to afford the services of domestic helpers and we could be seeing a steady stream of distressed OFWs coming home to an uncertain future. Anxieties about job security are not just confined to OFWs. Even local employees have reason to worry about their jobs, especially those in companies which are largely dependent on foreign markets like the export industry and BPOs.

You really shouldn't wait for a crisis to happen before you start to worry about your financial situation. Always remember that a lot of good things don't last. Sooner or later the good times will end. You may be earning well now but there's no guarantee that 5 or 10 years hence you will still be on easy street. You should be prepared all the time. Save as if there's always a financial crisis looming in the horizon. Save as if your income would stop flowing anytime soon. With this kind of attitude towards saving you will be able to accumulate sufficient monetary resources that can tide you over when the next economic turmoil hits. Let me share with you a number of strategies to help you save and build your defense against a financial crisis.

 
When you feel the urge to be critical of someone else, look first within yourself. The weaknesses and shortcomings you perceive in another may very well be pointing to improvements you can make in your own life.
Instead of depending on others to change, or attempting to force them to do so, look for positive changes that you can make. You'll always have much more success controlling your own life than you will have controlling others.

If you wish to live in a positive world, be a positive person. If you desire peace, then be completely at peace with yourself.

Life is a mirror that reflects your most authentic self back to you. It flows from the inside out.

The values and priorities that you live by will greatly influence the world that you live in. The thoughts and feelings you hold most consistently on the inside will determine how life unfolds for you on the outside.

Allow peace, love, joy and fulfillment to flow from the inside out. Make your world the best it can be.

If it were quick and easy you would have already done it. The fact that it is difficult and time-consuming means you're doing something truly worthwhile.
The value of any achievement is built with the time and effort you put into it. Keep going, keep building, keep at it and you'll truly have something of great value.

It is often difficult to stay positively focused. And it is always worth the trouble.

Sure, it would be much easier to do nothing. Yet by doing nothing, you create nothing.

Instead, step forward and do the difficult work that must be done. With each effort, you are adding more value and substance to the achievement.

Feel the satisfaction as you continue the difficult and rewarding work of building that achievement. Know that the value has already started coming to life.

Is David Blaine showing signs of losing his grip on reality? Have the impromptu barbecues and egg and sausage slinging finally got to him? Will he survive - mentally and physically?

These are some of the questions being posed as the US illusionist reached the half-way stage of his 44-day vigil locked in a glass box above the River Thames without food.

Medical experts have warned that his endurance stunt could end up causing major damage to his health.

He is already showing the effects of isolation and he may eventually suffer hallucinations, they claim.

They are also warning about potential kidney and heart failure.

Blaine himself, speaking through a microphone, has described how his culinary cravings for food have led him to fantasise about his favorite foods.

'I close my eyes and see these vivid images. It's like I'm really eating it"' he said.

The illusionist can now only manage to stand for 10 minutes each day. He is complaining of feeling "really dizzy' at times, heart palpitations, and freezing at night.

Blaine has been observed performing ritualistic behaviour. He spends up to six hours a day rubbing his hair and glass-tapping.

He is also said to be moving or folding the duvet at least 20 times a day.

While he battles to maintain his grip on reality, Londoners who have gathered in their thousands to see him are showing little mercy to the American magician.

Onlookers tried to keep him awake day and night by throwing missiles or making noise. Others have teased Blain by cooking food underneath him, or stripping off.

One man was charged with trying to cut Blaine's water supply, the only food he is ingesting.

Another man was charged with criminal damage for allegedly throwing pink paint at his Perspex box which is suspended from a crane near Tower Bridge.

Doctors monitoring his progress said the relentless disturbances have now significantly increased the overall risk to Blaine's health.

Dr. John Potter, an expert on the psychology of solitary confinement, said he had observed mood swings, ritualistic behaviors and sharp spells of depression.

He also believed Blaine was showing signs of creasing withdrawal.

Dr. Mike Stroud, an expert in nutrient deficiencies, is reported to have warned of serious consequences if Blaine's salt levels - said to be very low as temperatures in his boxes reaches 40C - continue to drop.

If the salt depletion worsens he said Blaine could suffer confusion, kidney failure and an inability to stand up without falling unconscious.

With the onset of colder autumn nights, Blaine may also suffer because when the body is starving its ability to heat itself declines by more than 50%.

He also runs the risk of heart failure, experts said, due to disturbance to sleep patterns and the shocks from thrown objects smashing against the box.

Extra police have been drafted in, such is the fascination for people trying to disrupt Blaine's efforts to sleep though the long hours spent dangling in the air.

Metropolitan Police said the US magician could face a huge bill for the policing of the event when he eventually leaves his box.

Blaine's endurance test is being filmed for television shows on Britain's Channel 4 and Sky One. 

source: weird news

Swaziland's King Mswati III selected bride number 12, less than a week after he picked his 11th bride from thousands of young Swazi maidens.

Mswati's 12th bride was identified as 18-year-old Nomonde Fihla, who was crowned the first princess in the Miss Swaziland 2003 pageant.

In an interview at the time, she told a magazine she did not believe in polygamy.

Fihla was one of thousands of maidens who attended this year's annual reed dance ceremony, when the king, 35, chooses a bride. In the traditional ceremony, the young women dressed in little more than beads and traditional skirts dance before the king to impress him.

Mswati is Africa's last absolute monarch. He has resisted recent pressure from his subjects to introduce democratic reforms.

- September 12, 2003 

You are who you are. There's no need to be ashamed of your one-of-a-kind uniqueness or to apologize for it.
Sure, you've made some mistakes along the way. So has everyone else.

What matters most is that you're here now and ready to be the best you can be. You have a definite purpose, plus you have the desire and the means to express that purpose in many wonderful ways.

Forget about chasing fame or fortune or the approval of others merely for the sake of having them. The best things in life are those things that resonate with who you truly are.

By acknowledging and following your deepest purpose, you bring those good and valuable things to light. And in so doing, you bring them to your life and your world.

The most valuable thing you can ever have, you already have, for it is your own special life. Allow it to unfold, in each moment, in all its beauty and wonder, and be the real living fulfillment of who you are.

Waves crash endlessly upon the shore. The heat of summer is relieved by the cool winds of autumn, then winter, then spring and summer again and again in an ever-repeating cycle.
The forces that make it all happen and keep it all going are truly awesome. Though they can be explained and understood to a degree, they are impossible to fully comprehend.

In this life there is much that you can influence, much that you can do, and much that you can accomplish. Even so, there are many other things about which you can do nothing but accept, experience and stand in awe.

Sometimes the best thing to do with life is allow yourself to feel its wonder and beauty. Sometimes it is helpful and even comforting to remember that there are things you can never change.

For by acknowledging what you cannot do, you more fully appreciate and utilize those things you can do. By accepting and valuing that life is bigger than you, your own perspective is greatly enhanced.

Life is rich and varied and awesome beyond anything you can ever imagine. So go ahead and accomplish all you can imagine, for when you're done there's always room for more.

The way to get more energy in your life is to use it. Get yourself started, and you'll get the energy flowing.
The most powerful and sustainable energy does not come from outside sources. The energy you use to effectively get things done comes from the purpose that is inside you.

When you're engaged in something truly meaningful, there's no need to search for the energy to do it. That energy is with you in great abundance.

To plug any activity into your energy source, connect it to your authentic purpose. When you know without a doubt why it is important, you'll find everything necessary to get it done.

The more useful and valuable things you do with your life, the more energy you'll have available for even greater accomplishments. Take a small step forward, and you make a bigger step possible.

Put the energy you have into meaningful pursuits. And you'll soon be making even more.

Abundance and gratitude are inextricably linked. By living with gratitude, you open yourself to life's immense abundance.
If you are a little bit thankful for this, and a little thankful for that, just every so often, you'll have glimpses of abundance. When you enable and allow yourself to be continuously thankful for every big and little thing, your life will be immersed in abundance all the time.

It may seem strange to feel thankful for those events in your life that appear to be negative. Yet it is precisely by being thankful that you can identify the opportunities for transforming the setbacks and obstacles into successes.

You may not think it's worth the time and effort to be thankful for all the little, seemingly insignificant things in your life. However, without the little things there would be no big things.

Seek to develop a depth of gratitude by seizing every opportunity to be thankful. Make genuine gratitude a constant companion to who you are, in all that you do.

As your gratitude grows deeper and more all-encompassing, life's abundance shines more brilliantly for you. Be truly, constantly thankful, and there is no end to the level of abundance that you will experience.

This day is yours to experience. This life is yours to live.
This world is a place in which you can act to make a positive, meaningful difference. This moment is one that's filled with possibilities.

It can often be difficult to make your way forward, and it is all too easy to lose sight of the unique and beautiful person you truly are. Take time to remember the best that is within you, and know that your authentic, miraculous life is stronger than any obstacle.

Choose to fill this day with your very own special expression of what it means to be alive. Right now is your opportunity to fulfill those yearnings that have always called to you.

You have the power to take any ordinary moment and put joy into it. Your happiness comes not from what you may seek to take away from life but from what you give, what you create, and what you share.

This is your moment to live with all the purpose and richness you can imagine. Realize that nothing is really holding you back, and make this the best day ever.

Put your car keys beside your bed at night. If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to break into your home, just press the panic button for your car. The alarm will set off and it will continue sounding until you turn it off or the car battery dies. This tip came from a neighborhood watch coordinator.
Next time when you come home for the night and you put your keys away, think of this: It’s a security alarm system that you probably already have and requires no installation. Test it. It will go off from almost anywhere inside your home and will keep honking until your battery runs out or you reset it with the button on the key fob chain. It works if you park your car in the driveway or garage.
If you car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break into your home, odds are the criminal won’t stick around. After a few seconds, all the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there, and sure enough, the criminal won’t want that.
And remember to carry your keys while walking to your car in the parking lot. The alarm can work the same way it does inside the house. This is something that should be shared with everyone. Maybe it could save a life or prevent a serious crime from occurring.
I am sending this to everyone I know because I think it is beneficial to all. It can also be useful during any emergency, such as a heart attack, when you can’t reach a phone.


Happy Motoring
Larry
Master Honda Technician

kitang mga bolanon gibantog man gyod ta maayong mo kanta........ kaya dugtungan tayo ng kanta...... pero hindi kung ano kadugtong nun kundi yun last word nun....

example:

song 1: you are the one who makes me happy

song 2: happy its so nice to be happy shalala everybody should be happy shalala lala

song 3: shalala in the morning ohhh shalala shalala just for you

here is the answer..

just click..

http://xuix.com/index2.shtml

The 29th Olympiad slogan says, "One World, One Dream". Use this idea
to create good common goal and unity. Then we continue to promote the
same idea or slogan. See, we can explore the world by the touch of our
fingertips, the Internet.

We can speed up the development of our nation and people can learn
very quickly. There is no end of communication, we can learn from the
most livable and less corrupt nations.

How do these countries manage their own government policies? We will
use or copy their idea and so, our mentality is like them. We need to
rethink and change to improve ourselves.

Good words can turn to action, action must be the responsibility of
every individual. Teach both young and adult people, keep telling them
the truth again and again.

Get ready in a few years, Filipinos have to vote for the new man
president and a living hero to bring new life and hope for our new
generation.


source: ang bagong pinoy

..yeahhh the best ever.. grabihhh

Dancers perform during the closing ceremony for the Beijing 2008 Olympics at the National Stadium, in Beijing, Sunday, Aug. 24, 2008








Lightning fills the sky above the Bird’s Nest on the eve of the Beijing Olympics’ closing ceremony. They were the most logistically successful Games in history.

No matter how much joy you've known, there is always more joy to be experienced. Each moment brings new possibilities for adding richness to life.
The best days of your life are never behind you, unless you choose to see them as such. For no matter how life has been, there will always be opportunities to experience more goodness.

Everything you know about has already happened, so it can be very easy to view life as nothing more than what is receding into the past. Yet life is infinitely more, because life is now.

By all means, hold firmly to the goodness you've already known and carry it forever in your heart. At the same time, open yourself fully to the positive possibilities that are yours right now.

Now is the moment to live. Now is the time for all that can be.

The sun is just now rising on the bright golden possibilities of this day. Life's great and beautiful promise is now.

By Marc Anthony Reyes
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 01:45:00 08/24/2008


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Close this MANILA, Philippines?Overhaul Philippine sports.

The call came yesterday from the man who saw the country?s Beijing Olympics campaign crumble into pieces?RP delegation chief of mission Monico Puentevella.

The Bacolod representative and Philippine Olympic Committee vice president stressed the need for a massive ?overhaul? of the sports system which does not only involve the sports bodies but other government agencies as well.

Puentevella, who is expected to personally brief President Macapagal-Arroyo of the Olympic debacle, said other agencies like the Department of Education, Department of Local and Interior Government, Department of Budget and Management and the Philippine Amusement and Gaming Corporation must join in the campaign.

?More than half of the 15 athletes we brought here broke national records,? said Puentevella in a teleconference from Beijing. ?But to win a medal needs an overhaul of our total program.?

The weightlifting association chief and former PSC commissioner said there is a need to restructure the Palarong Pambansa of the DepEd, revive Batang Pinoy (for 12 years old and younger) and fully utilize the Philippine Sports Institute.

He added that sports medicine, particularly the PSC?s medical arm, the Philippine Center for Sports Medicine, should be upgraded.

All these, according to him, won?t be possible without ?appropriate budget? from the government.

For the Beijing Olympics, the government shelled out P30 million for everything including training and tune-up competitions here and abroad.

?But most of all, let?s get our act together: The POC, PSC, DepEd, DILG, DBM and Pagcor,? he said.

The Senate and Congress approved P250 million for the PSC this year after slashing it down to as low as P70 million for the past three years. Aside from the training of athletes, they are spent for the upkeep of the PSC-owned facilities and its daily operations.

The Pagcor is mandated by law to remit five percent of its gross earnings to the PSC but its computation on how much will be given to the sports body remains under dispute.

The PSC receives an average of P25 million a month from Pagcor although officials said the amount could reach as much as P100 million if its own computation is followed.

 
Look back on your life up to this point and you'll quickly see that many of your worries and concerns were completely unfounded. So why do you still insist on cranking out those worries at every turn of events?
How many times have you looked back on an occasion with the regret that you didn't simply enjoy yourself? There's nothing you can do about those past regrets, but there's plenty you can do about right now.

It's ridiculously easy to enjoy life, no matter what the situation. It's just a matter of letting go.

Let go of the worry and anxiety, of the anger and envy, of the need to be right and the need to control everyone else. Let go of the need to have everything your way.

Underneath all those layers of need and worry and negativity, there is pure joy. When you simply accept what is, and choose to enjoy the goodness in it, life can be wonderfully rich and beautiful.

Stop worrying and fighting so much, and start enjoying a little more. Give joy some breathing room and it will flourish in your life.

-

A Jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy'
at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him
cleaning the floor as a test.

?You are employed' he said. Give me your e-mail
address and I'll send you the application to fill
in, as well as date when you may start.


The man replied 'But I don't have a computer, neither
an email'. 'I'm sorry', said the HR manager. If you don't have an
email, that means you do not exist. And who
doesn't exist, cannot have the job.'


The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what
to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then
decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato
crate. He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In
less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital.
He repeated the operation three times, and returned home with $60.


The man realized that he can survive by this way, and
started to go everyday earlier, and return
late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday.


Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he
had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food
retailers in the US. He started to plan his family's future,
and decided to have a life insurance.

He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection
plan. When the conversation was concluded the broker asked
him his email.

The man replied,'I don't have an email.'

The broker answered curiously, 'You don't have an
email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire.
Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an
e mail?!!' The man thought for a while and
replied, 'Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!'

Moral of the story


Moral 1

Internet is not the solution to your life.


Moral 2

If you don't have Internet, but work hard, you can be a
millionaire. 

http://c.imagehost.org/view/0114/YakapSaDilim_OrangeAndLemon.flv

http://c.imagehost.org/view/0953/Ewan_Imago.flv

Sincerely care about what you do. Give your full attention and respect to the task at hand.
There are those who depend on the work you are doing. Put yourself in their shoes, and look at the world from their perspective.

You have within you the potential for excellence. That excellence will be realized in your work when you truly care about each thing you do.

Do not fall into the trap of thinking that some particular task is somehow beneath you. Instead, seek to raise up the significance of that task by giving your very best to it.

Each effort is an opportunity to express your highest, most treasured values. Each job is a chance to transform your vision of what life can be into something real and concrete.

The greatest, most valuable achievements are those built with genuine passion. Put passion and sincere care into the work you do, and the results can be astounding.

You are a natural-born achiever. That's why focused effort feels so good and so right.
Trees grow toward the sky because that's what trees are meant to do. Storm clouds drop rain across the land because that's what clouds do.

You create new value and solve problems because that is what you are born to do. You make valuable use of opportunities to achieve because achievement is part of who you are.

Whatever else you may possess, you also have a diverse and powerful set of tools for achievement. You can observe, interpret, adjust, respond, prioritize, and imagine.

You can learn valuable lessons in one situation and put them to effective use in another, completely different arena. You can build and teach and cooperate and integrate the best of what has been into a vision of what can be.

In short, you are destined to achieve. Get your excuses, fears and doubts out of the way and allow that destiny to fully unfold.

Your thoughts have great influence on your life. So get them working in your favor.
Those things you've convinced yourself you cannot do, you will not do. By the same token, whatever you're absolutely certain that you can accomplish, you will indeed accomplish.

Your thoughts directly and persistently control your actions. And through your actions, you create much of the reality of your life.

Every achievement begins with a thought. And every achievement is supported all along the way by a continuous flow of positive, empowering thoughts.

You won't make something happen just by thinking about it. Yet the things you do cause to happen are those things upon which your thoughts are steadily focused.

Fill your mind with thoughts of positive purpose, joy, and meaningful achievement. Let your thoughts lead the way to the life of your dreams.

When the challenges are great, so are the possibilities for making real progress. Accept that those challenges exist, and yet do not be resigned to them.
Be clear and honest about where you are. Then begin moving boldly toward where you wish to go.

Look realistically at the difficulties you face. In every single one of them, there is opportunity.

No one is better positioned than you to make the most of those unique and meaningful opportunities. For you know exactly where you are, where you intend to be, and what you have to work with.

The road to real accomplishment leads directly through the challenges. Right now, you have what it takes to begin moving forward on that road.

You know what must be done, and more importantly, you know why you must do it. Step confidently into the challenges, and keep going until you reach the success that is on the other side.

This is a story from University  of  the   Philippines (Diliman) about a young college girl who passed away last month. Her name was Tiffany. She was hit by a dumper truck. She had  a boyfriend named Noel. Both of them were true lovers. They always  hung on the phone. You could never see her without her cell phone.  In fact she also changed her network coverage from Globe to Smart,  so both of them can be on the same network, and save on the cost and get  good  network coverage. She spent half of the day talking with  Noel.  Tiffany's family knew about their relationship. Noel was very close with  Tiffany's family. (Just imagine their love). Before she passed away she always told her friends 'If I pass away please bury me with my hand phone' she also  said the same thing to her parents.

After her death, people couldn't carry her coffin, I was  there. A lot of them tried to do so but still couldn't, everybody including me, had tried to carry the coffin, the  result is still the same. Eventually, they called a Feng Shui Master. He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly. After a few minutes, he said  'THIS GIRL MISSES SOMETHING HERE '. Then her friends told the Master about her intentions to bury her with her phone. He then opened the coffin and places her phone and SIM card inside the casket. After that they tried to carry the coffin. It could be moved and they carried it into the van easily. All of us were shocked. Tiffany's parents did not inform Noel that Tiffany had passed away.

After 2 weeks Noel called Tiffany's mom and said,  'I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for me. Don't tell Tiffany that  I'm coming home today, I wanna  surprise her.' Her mother replied... 'You come home first, I wanna tell you something very important.' After he came, they told him the truth about Tiffany. Noel thought that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said 'don't try to fool me - tell Tiffany to come out, I have  a gift for her. Please stop this nonsense'. Then they showed him her grave. Noel said, 'It's not true. We spoke yesterday. She still calls me. Noel was shaking. Suddenly, his phone rang.  'See this is from Tiffany, see this...' he showed the phone to   Tiffany's family. All of them told him to answer. He talked using  the  loudspeaker mode. All of them heard his conversation. Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming. It was the actual voice of  Tiffany & there was no way others could use her SIM card since it was nailed inside the coffin. They were so shocked and asked for the Feng Shui Master's help again.

The Master brought his co-masters  to  solve this matter. He & his co-masters worked for 5  hours. Then they discovered  one thing...




SMART HAS THE BEST COVERAGE...
WHEREVER YOU GO, THEIR NETWORK FOLLOWS...

ANG LAKAS TALAGA NG SMART... KAHIT NASAAN KA MAN...
KAYA SMART NA KAYO NANG KAYO AY NAKAKASIGURADONG MALAYO ANG MARARATING NINYO... IYON LANG....

NAISAHAN KA BA! BUMAWI KA NA LANG SA IBA... HEHEHE

http://www.themobiletracker.com/english/index.html

Para sa mga nagbabagang balita ... ngayon ay nasusunog na!!
Dalawang kalbo , nag-sabunutan .....
Capt.Hook dumaan sa Quiapo, pinirata .....
Pala-isdaan , nasunog .....
Tahanang Walang Hagdan , inakyat .....
Bakla sumali sa away , napasubo .....
Bagong tuli nagyabang , lumaki ang ulo .....
Unanong madre , nagpakamalang penguin ......
Bulag nakapatay , nagdilim daw ang paningin .....
Iceman nanood ng porno , nag-init .....
Tindera ng suka , tinoyo .....
Teacher nagkamali , tinuruan ng leksyon .....
Eroplano nag-crash , lahat ng pasahero namatay sabi ng mga survivor .....
Basurero nag-sampa ng kaso , binasura .....
Dahil may reklamo , eskwelahan ng mga bingi nag noise barrage .....
Tubero , nagkatulo .....
Lalaki natagpuang pugot ang ulo , inalam pa kung buhay .....
Barbero tumestigo sa krimen , ayaw paniwalaan .....
Misis ng photographer , nakunan .....
Tindera ng tubig , namatay sa uhaw .....
Kaso ng pilay , nilakad ....

Even the smallest accomplishment has great value. Because it sets in motion a positive momentum.
Once you begin to create value, you easily and naturally move toward creating even more value. The best thing about success is that it provides greater opportunity for even more success.

Go ahead and start small, and if you're unable to start small, then start tiny. The point is, do whatever you can with whatever you have, and that will be plenty to get you moving in a positive, productive direction.

There is always something you can do. There is always some small step forward that you can make right now.

Your ability to accomplish does not get used up. In fact, the more you use it, the more powerful it grows.

Create a little bit of success, and experience how great it feels. From that positive, empowered place, there's no limit to where you can go.

A small effort now can make a big difference later. You can dramatically increase the effectiveness of your actions simply by taking them sooner.
As you go through the moments of this day, you are creating many of the circumstances in which you will live tomorrow. A few small, positive actions right now can bring great value as you move forward.

You cannot change where you already are. Yet you can have a significant and dramatic effect on where you will soon be.

Live this moment with joy, with purpose and with passion. And use this moment to inject into your life and your world the kind of substance and value that can last a lifetime.

You cannot instantly change your circumstances. You can, however, instantly change the direction in which you're headed.

Point yourself firmly and resolutely in the direction of your dreams. For where you choose right now to go, is where you will soon be.

There will be times when you find yourself in extremely difficult circumstances. When those times come, it's important to put things in perspective.
Whatever else may be going on, always remember that you have been blessed with life and the ability to live it as you choose. Think of how completely awesome that is.

The idea that you are a victim of any particular circumstance is simply not accurate. For when you look at the big picture, you're not a victim at all.

You are a very fortunate beneficiary of the greatest circumstance that you could possibly imagine -- being alive and able to direct your own life. All other circumstances pale in comparison.

The transitory ups and downs are merely tiny threads in the overall fabric of your life. Each one ultimately adds to the richness of your experience.

The quality of that experience is up to you, and the fact that you're aware and able to think and act confers on you an incalculable wealth. See it, value and appreciate it, and spend each day being truly worthy of the unique, precious life that you have.

A day that begins with gratitude is a day that you'll be able to fill with positive progress. When you're sincerely appreciative of where you are and what you have, you'll greatly expand your own possibilities.
Begin with a thankful thought. And connect yourself with the abundance that is all around you.

There is always something for which you can be sincerely thankful. And the simple act of being thankful ignites a productive momentum in your world.

By focusing your thoughts on the positive aspects of your life, you cause their influence to grow. Be grateful, and your gratitude happily creates even more things in your life for which you can be grateful.

The appreciation for what you have gives more value to all that you are. The blessings you enjoy are blessings precisely because you see them as such.

Tap into the great reservoir of real value that is already available to you. Live with gratitude, and you'll create even more reasons to be thankful.

Fighting against what you don't want will not create what you do want. Punishing those who have caused you pain will not do anything to lessen that pain.
Knowing clearly what you don't want can give you a powerful sense of determination. Yet for that determination to be of any real value, you must apply it toward creating the things you do want.

When you're in a difficult situation, the prospect of making a change can be very appealing. However, if all you seek is change for the sake of change, you could very well end up being worse off than you were before.

Do not focus on what you are running away from. Give your awareness, attention and energy to what you are working toward.

When you use your time and resources to make a change, be sure it's a change that will not only get you away from where you are, but will also benefit your life. Give your attention not to the negativity of the past, but to the positive possibilities that you can now follow.

When you make a change, use the opportunity to make it a change for the better. Make your choice a positive, meaningful one that brings new richness and value to your life.

This is my world to follow the star no matter are hopeless no matter how far....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hy6M0II_I1A








maayo nalang nainbinto ang computer para makahibalo ta unsa nay dagan sa atong kalibutan..

Isang gabi, naglalakad ang isang lalaki sa may tulay nang may makita siyang babaeng

nasa taas ng gilid nito at magtatangkang magpatiwakal.


"Huwag," sigaw ng lalaki. At sa kabutihang palad ay nakumbinsi ang babae at siya'y bumaba.

Lalaki: Ano bang problema mo't naisipan mong gawin yan.
Babae: Kasi, iniwan ako ng boypren ko't sumama sa ibang babae.

Lalaki: Miss, ganyan din ang problema ko pero di ko inisip na magpakamatay.
Babae: So, anong gagawin natin?

Nag-isip sandali ang lalaki at sinabi...

Lalaki: Kung gusto mo, maghiganti tayo sa kanila.
Babae: Paanong paghihiganti?
Lalaki: Alam mo na ang ibig kong sabihin... (sabay kindat sa babae na
nakuha naman ni babae ang ipinahiwatig na yon).

Maya maya'y nasa isang kuwarto na sila ng motel at nangyari na nga
ang di dapat mangyari. Nang makaraos si lalaki, nagsindi siya ng yosi.
Nang halos filter na lang ay biglang nagsabi si babae ng "Maghiganti uli tayo".
Medyo pagod, pero pinagbigyan uli niya ang request ni babae.

Nang makaraos uli, nagsindi uli si lalaki ng yosi. Nasa kalahati pa lang ang yosi.

Babae: Maghiganti uli tayo.

Medyo nangangatog na ang mga tuhod pero dahil sa hilig, muling pinagbigyan niya si babae.

Muling nakaraos ang dalawa. Nagsindi uli si lalaki ng yosi. Unang hitit pa lang niya ay
Babae: Ganti uli tayo.



Talagang lupaypay na si manoy niya pero para huwag mapahiya ay muling pinagbigyan

niya ang kahilingan ng babae.

Pagkatapos kumuha siya ng yosi. Sisindihan pa lang nang biglang...

Babae: Ganti uli tayo.

Lalaki: 'TANGNA NAMAN! PATAWARIN NA NATIN SILA

opppsss gets the sequince ha watch out..trivia gud ni..

me first.....

Toronto...

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.


Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.  

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!  

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.  

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!  

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?  

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!  

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

'If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.


Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!



Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.



And remember:

'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'  

AND......



For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.



1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.


2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans..



3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.



4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.



5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.



CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.

Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

 
What a shame it would be if the results you have worked to achieve required just a little longer to arrive than you were willing to wait. How sad it would be for your ship to finally come in just a few minutes after you had given up and left the dock.
Success is built upon effort and commitment. Success also requires persistence and patience.

It is of little use to work for years toward a goal if you give up just a few days before the goal is reached. There is no point in working through hundreds of obstacles if you allow the very last obstacle to stop you.

Go ahead, close the deal, finish the work and get yourself all the way to the goal you've chosen. Take those last remaining steps so that you'll hold the prize firmly in your hands.

Rest when you are weary but do not quit. Achievement belongs to those who can go the full distance.

If it's important enough to start, it's important enough to finish. Be sure to always take the next step, for it could very well be the one that finally gets you there.Ralph Marston

There is a quick and easy technique that can vastly improve your effectiveness when dealing with other people. It can make you a better parent, spouse, friend, coach, negotiator, marketer or leader.
What is this technique? It is simply to imagine yourself in the other person's place.

By so doing, you can quickly create valuable and genuine rapport with others. You can significantly improve your ability to understand, to persuade and to motivate.

You'll find that you can work through difficult, conflict-filled situations in such a way that everyone emerges a winner. You'll discover countless ways in which you can contribute real value and make a positive difference.

Everyone desires to be more fully understood. By imagining yourself in another person's situation, you greatly improve both your understanding and your ability to be understood.

Each individual is blessed with a unique, one-of-a-kind perspective. By seeking to know perspectives other than your own, you can accomplish many wonderful and useful things.

Ralph Marston

 
An Indian who was officially dead for 18 years and the scientists who invented Murphy's law were among the winners of this year's IgNobel Prizes.

The awards a spoof on the Nobel Prizes are celebrated annually in Boston to honor achievements that "cannot or should not be reproduced."

They are presented by science humor magazine 'Annals of Improbable Research' and several groups at Harvard and Radcliffe universities.

This year's peace laureate is Lal Bihari, a shopkeeper from Uttar Pradesh in India. Government documents list Bihari, who lives in Azamgarh, 130 miles southeast of Lucknow, as being dead since 1976.

The IgNobel committee awarded him the prize "for a triple accomplishment: First, for leading an active life even though he has been declared legally dead; second, for waging a lively posthumous campaign against bureaucratic inertia and greedy relatives; and third, for creating the Association of Dead People."

He discovered that thousands of other Indians had suffered the same fate. But it was apparently a scam in which officials are bribed to declare landowners dead so their property can be "inherited."

The engineering prize went to three scientists the late Edward A Murphy Jr, the late John Paul Staff and George Nichols for formulating Murphy's Law in 1949.

This law states: "If anything can go wrong, it will."

The economics award went to the people of Liechtenstein. This tiny European nation was cited "for making it possible to rent the entire country for corporate conventions, weddings, Bar Mitzvahs and other gatherings."

A team from University College London won the medicine prize. They discovered that the brains of London cabbies are bigger than those of ordinary mortals. Brain scans revealed the black cab drivers have more grey matter than usual in the hippocampus that portion of the brain that deals with navigation as a result of doing "the knowledge."

The physics prize went to a group of Australian scientists for a report entitled "An Analysis of the Forces Required to Drag Sheep over Various Surfaces."

The IgNobel Prize for biology went to Dr Kees Moeliker, of Rotterdam's natural history museum, for documenting the first scientifically recorded case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard duck.

- October 3, 2003 

source: weird news

LUIS:
Kining akong paghigugma
Sa bukog, Inday, mikagit
Kong hinog ka pa lang sab-a
Lamyon ko hangtod ang panit.

PINAY:
Dili ako, Luis, motu-o
Nianang imong mga sulti
Pila na kaha ka babaye
Ang imo nianang gitunto?

LUIS:
Kining akong pagtindog
Ako na nga ginatukib
Ingon sa balay gitukod
Giuna ko ang paglatid.

PINAY:
Ang imong mga tuyo
Daan ko nang hingsayran
Wala pa gani ikaw manghangyo
Ako na ikaw gibalibaran.

LUIS:
Human ko na baya latiri
Gikutkot ko na ang yuta
Gipatindog ko na ang haligi
Gisunod ko ang mga damba.

PINAY:
Ako na kanimong gisulti
Nga dili na ikaw magbudlay
Ibta kanang imong haligi
Kay dili gayod ako muangay.

LUIS:
Ako inday ang nagabalay
Usa ra ang akong haligi
Pagbutang sa abay-abay
Gidungan ko ang kaballete
Pagbutang sa kaballete
Dungan ang mga pagbo
Maoy lig-ong espiki
Ang tagkos ug mga tarugo.

PINAY:
Ako gani magsulti
Wala ing balikbalik
Kanang imong haligi
Kaanugon lamang kausik
Kaballete ug mga pagbo
Kon muabot na ang bagyo
Walay manghisalin
Lulugtion tanan sa hangin.

LUIS:
Kutob ko ikaw makita
Sa usa ka pagpamilok
Ingon ako sa gipahigda
Sa maidlot nga mga tunok.

PINAY:
Kutob ko usab ikaw makita
Dako kong paghitingala
Anaa pa gani ang gatas sa baba
Namulong kana bahin sa gugma.

LUIS:
Sa gamay ka pang bata
Daan ko na ikawng ginapalandong
Karon ikaw nga dako na
Dili ba ako Inday makasilong?

PINAY:
Sa gamay pa akong bata
Daan ko na nga gipamulong
Nga kong ako madako na
Sa sulti dili ako palimbong.

LUIS:
Kanang sudlay mong sisik
Sa buhok nagatugabong
Ingon sa gugmang naglabtik
Sa dughan nagapanghagbong.

PINAY:
Kining sudlay kong sisik
Timaan kini sa katarong
Nga sa sulting palabtik
Dili kini palimbong.

LUIS:
Unsay bulong sa mingaw
Sa paglakat walay makuha
Gitinguha ko sa adlaw-adlaw
Ang pagpaagay sa mga luha?

PINAY:
Adunay tambal sa mingaw
Mao ang humay ug saging
Ayaw katulog maadlaw
Pagdaro ug pagkaingin.

********

LUIS:
Lipaya ang akong kamingaw
Utang kong buot kanimo
Baslan ko ikaw sa ulahing adlaw
Kay ako magasilbi kanimo.

PINAY:
Dili ako mao ang makaglipay
Nianang imong mga kamingaw
Pamiling sa laing Inday
Nga sa tinguha mo makatagbaw.

LUIS:
Ay, gipanilungan ko man gani
Ang kahoy nga walay dahon
Ikaw pa ba kaha ang dili
Gitan-aw ko nga may makaon?

PINAY:
Ako Luis ingon sa lagtang
Nga imo karon gipanilungan
Dili makatambal sa gutom
Kay makalanag pagakaunon.

LUIS:
Maayo ikaw, Inday, kay lipay
Ako tugob sa mga kasakit
Ingon ako sa ginabitay
Sa tungatunga sa mga langit.

PINAY:
Ang kalipay atua sa langit
Wala na dinhi sa Kalibutan
Ang sa yuta pulos kasakit
Wala nay sarang kalipayan.

LUIS:
Inday, ang imong pagdili
Daan ko na nga nasabut
Kong duna pa akoy bahandi
Tingali ikaw mubuot.

PINAY:
Ako nganing gidili
Ang anak sa mga Hari
Ikaw pa ba ang dili
Gitan-aw ko walay bahandi?

LUIS:
Kanang imong kagahi
Gidutlan sa dakong kahumok
Gani ang lubas tabigi
Gilagbasan sa isdang tamilok.

PINAY:
Antusa ang imong palad
Ayaw kasakit sa pamalibad
Kay bisan unsaon sa pagpaagi
Palad ko gayud nagamasuki.

LUIS:
Ikaw ba ang kahoy nga miyapi
Nga miturok sa luyong tampi
Pagbantay kay hikankanan ka
Ning tubig nga nagaagi.

PINAY:
Kini, Iti, nga kahuya
Dili madali pagkatumba
Kay wala pa gani ang hangin
Nasuko na nanuwaysuway.

LUIS:
Bisan adto ka sa langit
Kaanyag nga walay sanglit
Kong ako ang magasangpit
Mukanaog ka gayod sa pilit.

PINAY:
Kung akoy adto sa langit
Lalake ka nga lumayan
Ayaw pagbudlay pagsangpit
Kay sa linti ko ikaw pakanaugan.

LUIS:
Pusta ako, Inday, limisa
Sa binukalan mong kandungga
Kong si Nanay mo mangutana
Ingna pinili nga bunga.

PINAY:
Kong ikaw, Luis, mangasawa
Si Tatay ug si Nanay maoy sultihi
Kay kinsa bay musaka sa kahoy
Nga sa punoan dili muagi?

LUIS:
Matuod ikaw mao ang bulak
Sa usa ka maambong nga kahoy
Dili ko muagi sa punoan
Kong dili hagdanan sa imong kalooy.

PINAY:
Kong buot ka, Luis, mangasawa
Atuay katunggan daruha
Dili ka gani makadaro
Si Inday dili maimo.

LUIS:
Kinsa bay imong hindunggan
Nga pagadarohon ang katonggan
Dili ba kita higaba-an
Kumbinto kana sa tambasakan?

PINAY:
Kong buot ka, Luis, mangasawa
balay namo ayuha
Ang salog niya nga bahi
Alisdi sa pulos sapi.

LUIS:
Hulata sa dili madugay
Kay mudangat ako sa inyong balay
Ang salog ninyong bahi
Alisdan ko ug pisos kahati.

PINAY:
Kong buot ka, Luis, mangasawa
Atuay balay namo ayuha
Ayaw pag-atupi sa nipa
Atupi sa pulos tisa.

LUIS:
Unsaon mo, Inday, ang tisa
Halayo kadtong Manila
Maayo na lamang ang nipa
Kay ania ra sa atong yuta.

PINAY:
Kong buot ka, Luis, mangasawa
Atuay balay namo ayuha
Ang atup niya anahaw
Alisdi sa pako ug langaw.

LUIS:
Magaunsa kita sa langaw
Madugay pagatigumon
Maayo na lamang ang anahaw
Kay ania ra sa atong libon.

PINAY:
Kong buot ka mangasawa
Atuay lasang daruha
Ang kabatu-an ug kabatangan
Imong pagahinlu-an.

LUIS:
Kanang tanan nga gisugo mo
Sa madali akong tumanon
Maoy mahimong daro ang baboy
Ang amo maoy magkupot sa liboy.

PINAY:
Kong buot ka, Luis, mangasawa
Atuay balay namo ayuha
Ayaw salugi sa anibong
Salugi sa pulos dagom.

LUIS:
Giunsa mo paghunahuna
Pagasalugan man nimo ug dagom
Kon duna na kitay mga bata
Dili ba mahatuyom?

***********

PINAY:
Ayaw, Iti, ikasakit
Kining pamalibad kong himpit
Dili pa kaha buot ang langit
Kitang duha magakadait.

LUIS:
Ang pamalibad mong himpit
Imo lamang kanang binu-utbuot
Sak-on ko ang mga langit
Kay adto ako makigsabot.

PINAY:
Ayaw, Luis, kahiubos
Sa pamalibad kong bug-os
Dili ta palad ug signos
Fortuna ta nagakabalios.

LUIS:
Unsaon ko sa pag-hiubos
Sa imo, Inday, nga pagpamalibad
Nga dugay ko na ikaw gigapos
Sa gugmang dili mabadbad.

PINAY:
Kasingkasing ko nga madasig
Tabangi ako sa pagpamalibad
Aniay lalaking buot mulupig
Kanako buot mubihag.

LUIS:
Bisan unsaon mo sa pagpamalibad
Niining gugma kong matuod
Dili na ikaw makabadbad
Kay maayo nga pagkalangbud.

PINAY:
Oh! Daw tubig kang matin-aw
Nga gibunyag ning kasingkasing
Niining dughang mamingaw
Nanaha ka ug nanalingsing.

LUIS:
Pagkamaayo sa imong gawi
Wala akoy takos ibalos
Ania ang kalag ko ug kinabuhi
Kanimo akong itapus.

PINAY:
Kong mga bayhon pa lamang
Dili ako kanimo mag apas
Ugaling kay kagawi-an
Iunong ko kanimo kalag ug lawas.

(Kinuha sa Sugbuanong Balak: Hangtod sa 1940, Cebu, 1988)

Call centers should hire home-based workersâ€"expert
By JESUS F. LLANTO
abs-cbnNEWS.com/Newsbreak

Philippine call centers are urged to try home-based operations to curb high attrition rate and increase employee satisfaction.

During the Annual Call Center Expo 2008, an expert on business process outsourcing (BPO) urge Philippine call center companies to hire work-at-home agents or home-based employees to solve the high turnover rate in the industry.

William Dieu, senior research analyst from callcentres.net, said that companies can lower attrition rate and foster high agent satisfaction if they will allow home-based operations.

"The Philippines should think about the benefits of hiring home-based agents," Dieu said. He added that working from home also allows employees to save on transportation cost, especially now when prices of fuel are soaring.

Dieu said that only nine percent of the companies here allow working from home and he warned that "it is not expected to increase" in the succeeding months.

Benedict Hernandez, senior vice president and general manager for Philippines of eTelecare, said technological factors hamper the development of this kind of job.

"It has not really taken off," said Hernandez. "There are many things to consider. We are not as wired as the United States."

John Langford, executive vice president of ICT group, said it will take time before this system is adapted. "The industry has been in the United States but this set-up has been used only in the last five years.

Big sector

Call centers are the biggest sector in the Philippine BPO industry. It generates the biggest revenue and employs the most workers. In 2007, contact centers accounted for 73 percent of the industry’s US$4.8 billion revenue and its employees accounted for 60 percent of the 300,000 BPO workers.

"The industry will grow at a healthy clip this year," said Dan Reyes, president of Sitel and director of the Contact Center Association of the Philippines (CCAP).

CCAP estimates that this year, contact centers are expected to earn US$4.3 billion dollars, or around 30 percent increase from last year’s US$3.3 billion. Around 50,000 additional jobs are also expected this year.

Contact centers in the Asia-Pacific region, said Dieu citing data from consulting firm Frost and Sullivan, generated US$665 million revenue in 2007 and is expected to earn US$13 in the next seven years.

Guess what.  The Philippines is not in the top ten poorest countries in the world.  According to this website :  http://www.aneki. com/poorest. html

I feel kinda good about RP but bad with this top 10 poor ones.

Poorest Countries in the World
Rank Country ----------------- GDP - per capita
1 Malawi ---------------------------$ 600
2 Somalia --------------------------$ 600
3 Comoros -------------------------$ 600
4 Solomon Islands ----------------- $ 600
5 Congo, Democratic Republic of the $ 700
6 Burundi --------------------------$ 700
7 East Timor -----------------------$ 800
8 Tanzania ------------------------ $ 800
9 Afghanistan ----------------------$ 800
10 Yemen --------------------------$ 900


Richest Countries in the World
Rank Country --------------GDP - per capita
1 Luxembourg -----------------$ 68,800
2 Equatorial Guinea ------------$ 50,200
3 United Arab Emirates -------- $ 49,700
4 Norway ---------------------$ 47,800
5 Ireland ----------------------$ 43,600
6 United States ----------------$ 43,500
7 Andorra---------------------- $ 38,800
8 Iceland -----------------------$ 38,100
9 Denmark---------------------- $ 37,000
10 Austria ----------------------$ 35,500

what if God couldn't take the time to bless us today,
because we couldn't take the time to thank him yesterday?

Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one
woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided
that one had to leave, because otherwise they were all going to fall.

They were unable to decide who would let go, until the woman gave a very
touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the  rope,
because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband
and kids and for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices
with little in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men
started clapping.

DANCE TEAM   He is  25   She is 84. You must watch it  all.
Just when you think you have seen it all, along comes a dance team like
this one.
He's 25 and his partner, well, she's 84. In some spots I thought her bones
were going  to break.
She has a bit of limp at the end. It is amazing that she would try so me thing like this at 74 let alone  84.
I don't know whether she should be congratulated or institutionalized.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdj_4kT7rhg

This is a true story taken from The Philippine Star
written by Boo Chanco

A 70-year old 'lolo' from the province was accompanied
by a grandson to the US Embassy in Manila for his VISA
interview.


The lolo spoke not a word of English so the grandson
translated for him.


The U.S.Consul told the young man to ask his
grandfather why he wanted to go to the States.


"Bakit daw ho ninyo gustong pumunta sa Amerika?"
The grandson translated "Sabihin mo gusto kong
makita yung mga anak ko doon."


"He said he wants to see his children there." Fair
enough, that's what the lolo's application indicated.


The Consul had another question. "Ask him why does
he have to go there? Why can't his children just come
and visit him here?"


The grandson translated this in Tagalog. Lolo replied:


"Sabihin mo kasi dito pinanganak yung mga anak ko."
"Nakita na nila ang Pilipinas."


"Gusto ko namang makita ang Amerika bago ako
mamatay."


(Translation: "Tell him, my children were born here."
"They've seen the Philippines already". "I just want to
see America before I die.")


The HEARTLESS Consul was unimpressed as he
declared, devoid of any emotion, that he was rejecting
the visa application "because the applicant was unable
to speak any word of English."


"Reject daw yung visa ninyo kasi hindi daw kayo
marunong mag-Ingles."


The lolo was equally unimpressed. "Sabihin mo ito
sa kanya at huwag na huwag mong papalitan ang
sasabihin ko:


"P u t a n g ina niya, bakit siya nandidito eh hindi naman
siya marunong mag-Tagalog! ?"


Translated," He said: You son o f  a  b i t ch, how come
you are here..you do not know how to speak in Tagalog!?"


Taken aback, sense of humor still intact, the consul
relented and approved lolo's visa application in pronto.

Go LoLo, go...
mabuhay ang Pinoy!!!,

Ito nga ba ang alamat kung bakit nagsisinungalin ang mga lalaki...?




Karpintero itong si Pedro at isang araw eh gumagawa siya ng isang bahay sa
tabi ng ilog. Sa lakas ng pagmamartilyo niya eh nalaglag ang martilyo niya
sa ilog.

Umiyak siya at lumitaw yung guardian angel niya,

"Tutulungan kita, Pedro"

Sabay lundag sa ilog.

Lumabas ito na me hawak na gold hammer,

"Ito ba ang
martilyo mo?"...


"Hindi po."



Lundag uli ang anghel at lumitaw na me silver hammer, "Ito ba?"

"Hindi po."




Lundag uli sa ilog ang anghel at lumitaw na me ordinary hammer,

"Ito ba?"

"
Opo!"

Natuwa ang anghel.

"Dahil honest ka, bukod sa martilyo mo, sa 'yo na rin ang gold and silver
hammer!"



Makaraan ang ilang araw, naglalakad si Pedro sa ilog at kasama ang misis
niya. Eh sa katangahan, nalaglag si misis sa ilog. Iyak si Pedro.

Litaw si
guardian angel.

"Tutulungan kita."


Sabay lundag sa ilog at ng lumitaw eh kasama si Diana Zubiri.

"Ito ba ang
misis mo?"

Sagot si Pedro,
"Opo!"

Nagalit si anghel,

"Sinungaling ka. Akala ko pa naman eh mabait ka."



Nag-reason-out si Pedro,



"Sorry po, angel... kasi kapag sinabi kong
'Hindi', eh lulundag ka uli sa tubig at paglitaw mo eh kasama mo si Katrina
Halili. At kapag sinabi ko uli na hindi siya ang asawa ko, eh lulundag ka
uli at ang tunay na misis ko na ang kasama mo.

At dahil sa kabaitan ko, eh
ibibigay mo din sa akin sina Diana at Katrina.

Mahirap lang po ako at hindi
ko kaya ang me tatlong asawa, kaya 'Yes' na lang ang sinagot ko nung una."



MORAL OF THE STORY:

Kaya lang naman nagsisinungalin ang mga lalaki eh for a
good and noble reason.

I would like to share informative message from a web group.


During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?" I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?"

In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"
Let me answer this question because the chances are good that
it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with
your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked
their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a
completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO
anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... because it's
happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the
imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing
there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO
YOU.

Falling is love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.
But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the
natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls
become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome
(when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being
cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you
think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference
between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or
even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry
the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria
of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with
someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their
spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is
the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a
friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this
dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.
You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the
same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S
LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER
just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make"
it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression "the labor
of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly,
it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage
work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific
things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your
marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity),
there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and
exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your
relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and
effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. ..
you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision".. . not just a feeling.

A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when he
found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important
document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing
work?"
"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine
on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent,excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared
inside the machine.
"I just need one copy."

Lesson I - Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything.

A Filipino walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan Officer.
He tells the Loan Officer that he is going to the Philippines on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Filipino hands over the keys of a new Ferrari. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank. The Filipino produces the title and everything checks out.
The Loan Officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's President and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Pinoy for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Pinoy returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which came to $15.41. The Loan Officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found
that you are a rather wealthy man. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The Pinoy replies: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

 
NICKNAMES
  If Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch,
  they will call each   other Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah.
  If Mike, Charlie, Dave and John go out, they will
  affectionately refer to   each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Sh*t-Head and  Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
  When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Dave and John
  will each throw in $20,
  even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will
  have anything smaller,
  and none will actually admit they want change back.
  When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket
  calculators.

MONEY
  A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
  A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't
  need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
  A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and
  toothpaste,shaving   cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
  The average number of items in the typical woman's
  bathroom is 337. A man   would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
  A woman has the last word in any argument.
  Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a
  new argument.

CATS
  Women love cats.
  Men say they love cats, but when women aren't
  looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE
  A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
  A man never worries about the future until he gets a
  wife.

SUCCESS
  A successful man is one who makes more money than
  his wife can spend.
  A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
  A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but
  he doesn't.
  A man marries a woman expecting that she won't
  change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
  A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the
  plants, empty the bins,
  answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
  A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
  Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
  Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
  A woman knows all about her children. She knows
  about dentist appointments
  and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret
fears and hopes and dreams.
  A man is vaguely aware of some short people living
  in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
  Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's
  no use in two people remembering the same thing.

What a woman says:
  C'mon...This place is a mess. You and I need to
  clean. Your pants are on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we don't do the laundry now.

What a man hears:
  C'MON ... blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah, blah,
  blah, blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah, NOW.
 
   

Upat ka dalagang Pinay nurses naghinambugay kon kinsay ilang pamanhon.
Nurse 1: Ako ang akong gustong mabana ENGINEER.
Nurse 2: Nganong ENGINEER man?
Nurse 1: Tungod kay ang ENGINEER, sige lang erect ug erect!
Nurse 2: Bitaw no!.... Ako ang akong gusto ACCOUNTANT.
Nurse 3: Naganong ACCOUNTANT man?
Nurse 2: Tungod kay ang ACCOUNTANT, sige lang enter ug enter!
Nurse 3: Mau ba?... Ako ang akong gusto nga mabana DOKTOR gyod.
Nurse 4: Ngano man bi, nga DOKTOR man gyod?
Nurse 3: Tungod kay ang DOKTOR, sige lang inject ug inject!
Nurse 4: Wow, puro man big shot ang inyong gusto. Ako, simple lang.
Nurse 1: Oh kinsa may imong pamanhon bi?
Nurse 4: Gusto kog kanang pure nga BISAYA.
Nurse 2: Ngano man?
Nurse 4: Tungod kay ang BISAYA, gahi ug DILA

-Kung adunahan ka, duna kay "allergy", kung pobre ka, aduna kay "korikong"
-Sa pobre, "nabu-ang', kung adunahan, "nervous breakdown" tungod sa "tension"
-Sa adunahan nga mangawat, ang tawag "kleptomaniac", sa pobre "k******n"
-Kung pobre mosakit ang ulo, ingnon dayon ug "napasmo", pero ug adunahan "migraine"
-Kung pobre, "buktot", pero ug adunahan "scoliotic"
-Kung maid ka nga itomon, tawgon ka ug "negrita", pero kon adunahan ka ug mas itom pa sa sulugo-on ang itawag "morena"
-Kung bisan kinsa lang ang imong ika-date, ingnon ka ug "uwagan" o "burikat", pero kon kwartahan ka ang ilang itawag "game" o "liberated"
-Kung idaran ka nga pobre tawgon ka ug "tiguwang", pero kon datu ang tawag "senior citizen"
-Kung anak ka kwartahan ug dili dayon makakat-on, ang tawag "slow learner" kon anak ka pobre ang tawag nimo "bogo"

A young man, a student in one of our universities, was one day taking a walk with a professor, who was commonly called the students' friend, from his kindness to those who waited on his instructions. As they went along, they saw lying in the path a pair of old shoes, which they supposed to belong to a poor man who was employed in a field close by, and who had nearly finished his day's work.

The student turned to the professor, saying: "Let us play the man a trick:
we will hide his shoes, and conceal ourselves behind those bushes, and wait to see his perplexity when he cannot find them."

"My young friend," answered the professor, "we should never amuse ourselves at the expense of the poor. But you are rich, and may give yourself a much greater pleasure by means of the poor man. Put a coin into each shoe, and then we will hide ourselves and watch how the discovery affects him."

The student did so, and they both placed themselves behind the bushes close by. The poor man soon finished his work, and came across the field to the path where he had left his coat and shoes. While putting on his coat he slipped his foot into one of his shoes; but feeling something hard, he stooped down to feel what it was, and found the coin. Astonishment and wonder were seen upon his countenance. He gazed upon the coin, turned it round, and looked at it again and again. He then looked around him on all sides, but no person was to be seen. He now put the money into his pocket, and proceeded to put on the other shoe; but his surprise was doubled on finding the other coin. His feelings overcame him; he fell upon his knees, looked up to heaven and uttered aloud a fervent thanksgiving, in which he spoke of his wife, sick and helpless, and his children without bread, whom the timely bounty, from some unknown hand, would save from perishing.

The student stood there deeply affected, and his eyes filled with tears.
"Now," said the professor, "are you not much better pleased than if you had played your intended trick?"

The youth replied, "You have taught me a lesson which I will never forget. I feel now the truth of those words, which I never understood before: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.

Why bicycle shorts are always black?

The Great Reframe
by:Haresh Shah

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet.
He held up a sign which said: 'I am blind, please help.' There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and
dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some
words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money
to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how
things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, 'Were u the one
who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?'

The man said, 'I only wrote the truth. I said what u said but in a different way.'

What he had written was: 'Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it.'

Do you think the first sign & the second sign were saying the same
thing? Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign
simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky
that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Moral of the Story:

Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.

Invite the people towards good with wisdom.
Live life with no excuse and love with no regrets..

When Life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have
1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence.
Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.

Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery
to solve not a problem to resolve. Life is wonderful if you know how to live.

Enjoy Life.......and Make A Difference.. ...

Swaziland's King Mswati III selected bride number 12, less than a week after he picked his 11th bride from thousands of young Swazi maidens.

Mswati's 12th bride was identified as 18-year-old Nomonde Fihla, who was crowned the first princess in the Miss Swaziland 2003 pageant.

In an interview at the time, she told a magazine she did not believe in polygamy.

Fihla was one of thousands of maidens who attended this year's annual reed dance ceremony, when the king, 35, chooses a bride. In the traditional ceremony, the young women dressed in little more than beads and traditional skirts dance before the king to impress him.

Mswati is Africa's last absolute monarch. He has resisted recent pressure from his subjects to introduce democratic reforms.

September 12, 2003 
source: weird news

Damong maria -Tag. / Bisaya - Gilbas.




Botany
Erect perennial herb; hairy, aromatic, often semiwoody, with leafy and branched stems, growing to a height of 1 meter. Leaves up to 14 centimeters long, lobed, hairy, gray beneath, with nearly smooth upper surface. Numerous flower heads are spikelike, ascending, branched inflorescences. Fruit is minute.

Distribution
Widely cultivated in the Philippines, around the houses, gardens and open places. Propagated by cuttings and layering.

Chemical constituents and characteristics
Plant yields a volatile oil consisting of cineol, thujone, paraffin and aldehyde.
Fragrant but bitter to taste.

Parts utilized
Leaves and flowers

Uses
Folkloric
- Decoction of fresh leaves and flowering tops, 50 g in a pint of water, 4-5 glasses daily as expectorant.
- Juice of leaves used as vulnerary, to heal wounds and cuts.
- Strong decoction of leaves, 6-7 glasses a day to induce menstruation; also, for post-partum abdominal cramps.
- Juice of leaves applied to head of young children during convulsions.
- For intestinal deworming, decoction of boiled leaves, followed by the juice of aloe or other purgative plants.
- Decoction of leaves used for abdominal colic pains.
- Leaf poultice for headache and skin diseases.
- Decoction of dried leaves used for asthma and dyspepsia.
- Juice used externally for scabies, eczema, herpes.
- With ginger: Pounded leaves, mixed with ginger are wrapped in banana leaves and heated over a fire, and applied to wounds and swollen and inflammed dermal afflictions.

Availability
Wild-crafted.

source: Philippines Medicinal Plants

PEACE tanan! forwarded lang po yan hehehe. share ko lang.. wala koy labot ani ha


SANA NAGING BLIND NA LANG AKO. YOKO NITO. UNFAIR. UNFAIR!!!
GALIT NA AKO NGAYON SA MGA PANGEEEET!!!!! PANGEEETTTT!!!!!!!
GUGULPIHIN KONG BABAENG TO PAG NAKITA KO TO MGA PARE
PARA MATAUHAN NA!!!! INGGIT KA KAY PANGET? HA? INGGIT KA?
WHO'S WITH ME NOW? LETS HUNT DOWN GUYS LIKE THESE WHO HAS NOTHING
BUT ONLY THE BEUTIFUL STUPID GIRLS LIKE THIS ONE HERE.

DUH?!!!












WAIT! There's more!!

Most famous Roman sex manual

The Roman poet Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso, 43 B.C. - A.D c. 17) wrote his Ars Amatoria of The Art of Love around the time of Christ.

The book was described as an "immoral book" representing the art of love as "the adulterer's art rather than the husband's art" by Irish writer H. Montgomery Hyde in A History of Pornography. But the book won the praise of Renaissance humanists. It begins with the words -

"Should anyone here not know the art of love read this, and learn by reading how to love. By art the boat’s set gliding, with oar and sail, by art the chariot’s swift: love’s ruled by art." 

The Roman poet Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso, 43 B.C. - A.D c. 17) wrote his Ars Amatoria of The Art of Love around the time of Christ.

The book was described as an "immoral book" representing the art of love as "the adulterer's art rather than the husband's art" by Irish writer H. Montgomery Hyde in A History of Pornography. But the book won the praise of Renaissance humanists. It begins with the words -

"Should anyone here not know the art of love read this, and learn by reading how to love. By art the boat’s set gliding, with oar and sail, by art the chariot’s swift: love’s ruled by art." 



source: life is joke

The World's 12 Richest People in 2008
Source: Forbes.com

For the first time ever, the tally of the world's billionaires crossed into four figures, reaching 1,125. Americans still occupy 469 of the list's slots, but that's down two percentage points from last year. In total, we identified 226 new billionaires, 70% of whom come from the U.S., Russia, China and India.

After 13 years at the top, Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates is no longer the world's richest man. That honor now belongs to his friend and sometimes bridge partner Warren Buffett.
Riding the surging price of Berkshire Hathaway stock, Buffett has seen his fortune swell to an estimated $62 billion, up $10 billion from a year ago.
Gates is now worth $58 billion and is ranked third richest in the world. He is up $2 billion from a year ago, but would have been as rich--or richer--than Buffett, had Microsoft not made an unsolicited bid for Yahoo! at the beginning of February. Mexican telecom mogul Carlos Slim Helú now ranks as the world's second richest person with a net worth of $60 billion.
12 pinakamayamang tao sa buong mundo ngayong 2008
RANK NAME COUNTRY AGE NET WORTH

1 Warren Buffet United States 77 $62.0 Billion
2 Carlos Slim Helu & Family Mexico 68 $60.0 Billion
3 William "Bill" Gates III United States 52 $52.0 Billion
4 Lakshmi Mittal India 57 $45.0 Billion
5 Mukesh Ambani India 50 $43.0 Billion
6 Anil Ambani India 48 $42.0 Billion
7 Ingvar Kamprad & Family Sweden 81 $31.0 Billion
8 KP Singh India 76 $30.0 Billion
9 Oleg Deripaska Russia 40 $28.0 Billion
10 Karl Albrecht Germany 88 $27.0 Billion
11 Li Ka-shing Hong Kong 79 $26.5 Billion
12 Sheldon Adelson United States 74 $26.0 Billion

After 13 years at the top, Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates is no longer the world's richest man. That honor now belongs to his friend and sometimes bridge partner Warren Buffett. Bill Gates is ranked only third, next to Mexicoââ,¬â,,¢s Carlos Slim Helu. Warren Buffetââ,¬â,,¢s fortune is estimated to be $62 billion (P2.6 trillion), higher by $10 billion from a year ago. The net worth of telecom magnate Carlos Slim Helu is estimated at $60B while Bill Gateââ,¬â,,¢s wealth stood at $58B.

It is interesting to note that only four (4) among the dozen richest persons inherited their fortune. The other eight ( are self-made billionaires, like our very own Lucio Tan and Henry Sy, who are the only Filipinos to make the billionaires list in 2008. Three (3) of the top 12 were also school dropouts, including Bill Gates. Kaya hindi tayo dapat mawalan ng pag-asa na umasenso kahit ano pa man ang ating natapos o kahit mahirap ang kalagayan natin ngayon.

Is it best to be a dreamer or is it best to be a doer? Actually, it is helpful to be both.
In all great creations, the idealistic exists with the pragmatic in elegant proportions. A dream is of little value unless you put action into it, and action won't get you very far unless there is meaningful purpose behind it.

Allow yourself to dream grand, magnificent dreams that express the deepest essence of who you are. Then let those dreams pull you steadily through the practical, nuts-and-bolts work of making them real.

Work through each day with diligence and persistence, doing what there is to be done. And as you do, stay close to the dreamer that always lives within you.

As a dreamer, you can envision a world and a life with no limits. As a doer, you can focus on something that has never existed before and make it real.

Let your most treasured dreams focus your actions and let your actions express your dreams. Be both a dreamer and a doer, and dive deeply into the multifaceted treasure that is your life.

Decide right now to make this day a memorable one. Make use of the precious moments now available to you to do something you'll continue to remember and be thankful for, years and years from now.
This very day is your opportunity to move life forward in a significant way. Choose to find your enjoyment today in making a real and enduring positive difference.

Do you realize how fortunate you are to be able to transform the fleeting hours of this day into something that will continue to add value to the world long after this day is over? Can you see how profoundly fulfilling it will be to live this day in such a way that you can always look back upon it with grateful satisfaction?

Just imagine living every day that way. Then, go beyond merely imagining it and start to continually live with a strong and abiding sense of true purpose.

The whole universe spreads out in front of you. And anything is possible in this very moment.

Make this day a beautiful and memorable one. Then repeat the process, again and again, for each new day that comes your way.

A college student was in a philosophy class, where there was a class discussion about whether or not God exists, The professor had the following logic:

“Has anyone in this class heard God?” Nobody spoke. “Has anyone in this class touched God?” Again, nobody spoke. “Has anyone in this class seen God?”

When nobody spoke for the third time, he simply stated, “Then there is no God.”

The student did not like the sound of this at all, and asked for permission to speak. The professor granted it, and the student stood up and asked the following questions of his classmates:

“Has anyone in this class heard our professor’s brain?” Silence.

“Has anyone in this class touched our professor’s brain?” Absolute silence.

“Has anyone in this class seen our professor’s brain?”

When nobody in the class dared to speak, the student concluded, “Then, according to our professor’s logic, it must be true that our professor has no brain!”

This case happened in a hospital’s Intensive care ward where Patients always died in the same bed and on all Sunday morning at 11a.m, regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM.

So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m. all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves
what the terrible phenomenon was all about.



Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil……..
Just when the Clock struck 11…

And then……

then…..

then……..



Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward, unplugged the life support system and plugged in the vacuum cleaner.

Officer: What Is Your Name?
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: Tell Me Properly.
Candidate: Mohan Pal Sir

Officer: Your Father’s Name?
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: What Does That Mean?
Candidate: Manmohan Pal Sir

Officer: Your Native Place
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: Is It Madhya Pradesh?
Candidate: No, Munnur Pal Sir

Officer: What Is Your Qualification?
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: (angrily) What Is It?
Candidate: Metric Pass

Officer: Why Do You Need A Job?
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: And What Does That Mean?
Candidate: Money Problem Sir


Officer: Describe Your Personality
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: Explain Yourself Clearly
Candidate: Magnanimous Personality Sir


Officer: This Discussion Is Nowhere, You May Go Now.
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: What Is It Now
Candidate: My Performance. ..?

Officer: M.P!!!
Candidate: What Is That Sir?

Officer: Mental Problems

Unethical and scandalous.

That's how several doctors described the behavior of Vicente Sotto Memorial
Medical Center (VSMMC) doctors and nurses during the operation to remove a
perfume canister from the anus of a male patient.

Doctors involved in the operation were seen laughing boisterously during the
operation, which was recorded on video. A video clip was later uploaded to
the video sharing website YouTube.

Dr. Emmanuel Gines, VSMMC media liaison officer and emergency room
department head, said in a radio interview that they will apologize to the
39-year-old patient identified only as Jan-Jan because of the embarrassment
he suffered.

Gines said at least six doctors, including Dr. Ariel Arias, are being
investigated. He could not say how many nurses were placed under
investigation.

A five-member body tasked to look into the controversy is expected to
release its findings this Friday.

Gines, a surgeon, said that taking a video and laughing at a patient while
he is being operated on is inappropriate.

"On the question of the behavior of the doctors and nurses, it was really
improper," he said.

He said their investigation began even before the scandal came out in the
media because the hospital leadership is concerned about the incident. He
urged the media to just wait for the committee's report.

While admitting that the incident placed VSMMC in a bad light, Gines assured
the public that what happened to "Jan-Jan" was an isolated case that will
not occur again.

"We have enforced and strengthened our (privacy) policy as far as the
operating room and anywhere of the sections in the hospitals after this
incident, especially the banning of cellular phones with or without
cameras," he said.

In a separate interview, Basak Pardo Barangay Captain Dave Tumulak said
Jan-Jan is bent on filing a complaint and has already executed an affidavit
against the doctors and nurses, some of whom were shown in the video.

Jan-Jan will also complain before the Department of Health (DOH), the
Professional Regulations Commission, and the Office of the Ombudsman
Visayas.

Dr. Wyben Briones, a neuro-surgeon for 30 years connected with VSMMC and
hospitals like Chong Hua and Velez, said doctors are bound by their
profession to respect the patient's privacy.

In a TV Patrol World report, he said medical practitioners must respect the
privacy of the patient at all times.

"For us, that (privacy) is sacred. No doctor or nurse shall announce that
somebody is suffering from an illness or that somebody is positive of Aids
(Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome)," Briones said.

Briones, who is also an Emergency Rescue Unit Foundation (Eruf) member, said
it is really objectionable for somebody to take videos of an operation and
upload it to YouTube for all the world to see.

What is acceptable, he said, is for a doctor operating on a patient to allow
young doctors and nurses to witness, as long as the aim is to educate them
further.

"Di ta ma-doctor kon wa pa ta tudlo-i or wa pa ta mo-agig (we could not be
doctors if we do not go through) training. And the Sotto hospital (VSMMC) is
a teaching hospital. But what happened here is a violation of ethical
standards," he added.

Briones said non-resident doctors and nurses who are not on field duty are
not even allowed to witness an operation.

In his case, he said, he only allows neuro-surgeons to witness him treating
his patients if it concerns their profession.

As of press time last night (Tuesday night), Tumulak, Jan-Jan and his lawyer
were still having a conference to come up with an airtight complaint.

Tumulak said they will also include Dr. Gerardo Aquino Jr, VSMMC chief
medical officer, who was in Manila attending to an official business when
the operation happened.

Tumulak said Jan-Jan is demanding for the hospital to furnish him the
official records of the January 3 operation for easy identification of all
doctors and nurses involved.

Dr. Susana Madarieta, DOH Central Visayas director, said they will review
the result of the VSMMC investigation to ensure that there is no whitewash.

source: gma news

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to shout at them. Some are over-sensitive and there's nothing worse than an over-sensitive woman.

My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Julie. When I took early retirement last year, it became necessary for Julie to get a full-time job for the extra income that we need.

Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I now usually get home from the pub about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she nearly always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't shout at her, instead I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch at the pub so eating out again is out of the question; I'm ready for some home cooked food when I get home.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's usual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of ageing is complaining. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to do the shopping during her lunch hour. But we take them for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then won't hurt her. I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She has to take a rest when she has only half finished mowing the lawn and several extra breaks when she's vacuuming through the house. It does annoy me, vacuuming when I'm trying to watch 'Match of the Day', but I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to make herself a nice cup of tea and just sit for a while, and as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Julie. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your ageing wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other, eh?

EDITOR'S NOTE:

Ron died suddenly last week. He was found with a 24-inch Stanley screwdriver rammed up his ass with only 2 inches showing.


His wife Julie was arrested, but the all-woman jury accepted her defence that he accidentally sat on it.

The longest jail sentence passed was in the United States - 10,000 years for a triple murder. Dudley Wayne Kyzer was jailed for 10,000 years by a court in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, in 1981 for murdering his wife. He was then sentenced to two life terms for murdering his mother-in-law and a college student.

In 1994 Oklahoma rapist Darron Bennalford Anderson received a 2,200-year jail sentence. When he appealed and won a new trial, he was convicted again and resentenced to more than 90 additional centuries behind bars - including 4,000 years each for rape and sodomy, 1,750 years for kidnapping, 1,000 years for burglary and robbery, and 500 years for grand larceny.

In July 1997, the state Court of Criminal Appeals held that the grand larceny charge was double jeopardy on the robbery conviction and thus dismissed it. So the court cut Anderson's sentence by 500 years, speeding up his release date to the year 12,744! 


source: weirdnews

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fp-UwlMYcLM



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktUSIJEiOug


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GojTUmjxVHU

Britain's Daily Mirror was the first big-circulation newspaper internationally to picture an active streaker on its front page. Its March 18th 1974 issue showed an attractive blonde streaker called Sally pinned against a wall by a London policeman.

Streaking - running naked from one point to another, for a dare, raising money for charity, exhibitionism, or whatever the motive - suddenly became a worldwide phenomenon in 1974. The press loved it as it gave them a ready excuse, as if they needed it, to print nude pictures and titillating stories of the streakers' escapades.

The press cameras were at Twickenham, England, in April 1974 to capture the sight of a Australian man who dashed onto the pitch nude in front of the 53,000 fans at the England v France rugby game. The 25-year-old was probably the first known streaker at a renowned sporting event.

First streaker at an Olympic Games was 23 year old Michael Leduc, who reportedly "cavorted nude" at the closing ceremony in Montreal 1976.

The 500 costumed young women pretended not to see him and continued on with their dance. A Montreal newspaper quoted Leduc as saying he wanted to show the world what a beautiful body he had. The police were not amused, hoswever, and they reportedly kicked and beat the streaker as he was removed from the stadium. 

source: weirdnews

If you've been looking for an opportunity, this is it. If you've been waiting for the right time to move forward, that time has arrived.
On this day, you have the power to take action. In this moment, you have the ability to make a difference.

Hopes, dreams and wishes can be powerful and compelling, yet if they remain imprisoned within you, you'll never know their true beauty and value. Now is when you can take the very best of what's in you, and give it room to grow.

Reality is where you are right here and now. And the great thing is, you're able to shape that reality as it arrives.

So take the opportunity to shape the reality of this day to mirror the best that is within you. This is when your values, your visions, and your unique essence can be given expression and fulfillment.

The time is upon you to create and to experience life's richness in your own special way. Fill it with meaning and purpose, and fill it with all you are.

You have no way of knowing how or when all the things you do will come back to you. What you can know is that they will.
Some obscure and seemingly useless fact you learn today could end up playing a major role in your life next week, or five years from now. Some small favor that you do tomorrow may come back to you in a few months as a grand opportunity.

You never know exactly how life will reflect back the face you present to it. Yet eventually, and quite faithfully, it does come back to you.

The value that you put into life becomes the value that you experience from life. The more love you give, the more love you are able to know.

Your words do not end when you speak them, and your actions do not stop when you've completed them. They go out into life and begin connecting you with the people, circumstances and things that resonate with those words and actions of yours.

Live as though the things you do, in one way or another, will come back to you. For you can be certain that they will.

Ralph Marston