Darling,
My feelings for you is like a raging whirlwind.
I must contain it, for it is extreme.
My compassion and sensual yearning is deep and absolute.
I must control and maintain composure.
My emotional nature has been revealed, though limited in scope.
I must take into consideration your studies,
as well as my own path and direction.
It is evident,
to you and I that we connect on so many levels.
Our peculiarities, perplexities and complexities compliment each other.
You start your first term
I finish my 2nd year.
These feelings and urges that I have--are shared.
You have the same feelings as I do--I know it.
My body next to yours,
Your face on mine,
it is evident.
But I must maintain composure and I do have a reluctance.
Darling, it is not you, but it is me.
For I have built a wall so high, that the notion of relationship
right now, that is, is and cannot be fathomed.
I have expectations. My goal is my priority.
And yours must be as well.
I shall not be selfish and limit you.
That is why I offer you that offer.
So.
It is with a full and open heart that I say this.
I wrote this in a letter
And I need to vent it here.
If you find this page.
Then so be it.
It is meant.
Darling, my sweet darling.
I will not forgoe and toss away what we have.
For we have something that is deep.
Intense.
You and I.
We both are intense.
You a Libra. And I a Leo.
I am willing.
Yes.
I am willing to box everything right now
Put it on the shelf,
and if Providence makes it possible--
perhaps when I am in my rotations--a year from now
and you--when you are finished basic science,
we can continue what we left off.
We both have to be rational.
We must think about our future,
our families
our personal duties
our professional calling.
We must think with our mind
and heart,
not on heart alone.
Clarity, darling.
We--you--I--must have clarity.
I love you.
I cherish you.
That will not change.
But we must not let these feelings get the best of us.
In the letter I write to you.
I wish to court you.
With all my heart.
And I shall.
I am willing---to wait---patiently
for you.
If you but accept my offer--
I shall wait for you until your heart accepts it.
To the ends of the earth--I shall follow.
And even if you cannot accept--or if you change your mind,
in the future,
know that I will accept your decision with an open heart
and a clear mind.
Despite personal prejudices.
I shall rule my emotions, as I have always done.
Christ strengthen me on the way, I pray.
Darling my darling,
we must be patient and wait.
If we can make through this,
we can make through anything.
Any ordeal
that comes across us.
Know that I will wait for you.
For my love and concern and interest for you
is LONG-TERM.
I have given you my heart.
It is yours to do with what you may.
Pray I ask, darling, be gentle.
A Love Most Pure,
Albrando
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