Author Topic: Kansas Girl Expected To Marry A White Man  (Read 994 times)

Lorenzo

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Kansas Girl Expected To Marry A White Man
« on: May 27, 2013, 01:06:25 PM »
Editor’s note: We asked Dave and Dianne, who met on CatholicMatch, to reflect on a much-buzzed-about New York Times blog post on the growing societal acceptance of interracial marriage. Their response follows.



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Lorenzo

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Re: Kansas Girl Expected To Marry A White Man
« Reply #1 on: May 27, 2013, 01:07:13 PM »
DAVE SAYS:

I spent about nine years of my childhood in a town in East Texas, where we were one of about four Filipino families in town. Being among the minority had various consequences – it made me proud to be who I was, and I had a tendency to stand out (which was both good and bad), but it also really encouraged – required? – me to keep an open mind.

Growing up, my parents always said they were OK with me dating whomever I wanted.  Many times I got the impression that deep down, they wanted me to marry someone of my own ethnicity, but in the end, they said that as long as I was happy and we treated each other right, that’s all they could ask for.


Dianne and I had previously exchanged messages on CatholicMatch but lost contact.  Once I discerned that I was called to be a husband and father (not a Father), I decided to renew contact, and that was just the beginning of our story. As we talked and then went out on dates, I found her beautiful in so many ways, and our different backgrounds just didn’t matter. She made me happier than I’d ever been, and that’s all I needed to know.  It may sound cliché, but I knew God placed her in my life for a reason. How could I second guess that and say, “Well, gee, she’s great, but her skin tone is a little off…I’ll pass, Big Guy”?   

Despite living in different cities from our parents, we soon introduced each other to the future in-laws. Throughout our dating phase, we spent various times with each other’s family, and they all saw how great we were for each other. So as news of our engagement spread, we got mostly supportive feedback from everyone, including my parents, echoing much of the sentiment I heard as I was growing up. (Guess that study cited in the blog post was right!)

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Lorenzo

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Re: Kansas Girl Expected To Marry A White Man
« Reply #2 on: May 27, 2013, 01:08:03 PM »
DIANNE SAYS:

I was raised in Kansas, which isn’t quite a multi-cultural melting-pot. Being white in a largely white area, I guess growing up that I suspected I would marry a white man. I wasn’t completely isolated from other races; I did a fair amount of traveling, and even Kansas isn’t completely pale, but white was familiar.

In college, that changed as I met more people and eventually moved out of state and to large cities. I did date men of different races. And then I met Dave, and I fell in love. 

When I first saw Dave’s profile, I was drawn to his funny pictures. I was also initially hesitant because he was Asian. One of my potential concerns was the possibly significant cultural differences between the Asians I had known, and well, me. However, Dave listed Pacific-Islander as his race, so that distinction made me consider him, whereas I suspect I may have written him off otherwise.

Sounds silly now, but that’s where I was at the time.

Even though he is pretty Americanized, there are cultural differences between us. While dating, there was enough of a fundamental same-ness that the differences just seemed exotic or irrelevant. There were times I think I was more interested in his heritage than he was. In time, though, some of the differences became more pronounced. Some have been great, like Filipino wedding traditions and the cultural support of traditional family roles, which we espouse. Others have been much harder, such as differentiating between our understanding of the difference between respect of elders and submissiveness.

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Lorenzo

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Re: Kansas Girl Expected To Marry A White Man
« Reply #3 on: May 27, 2013, 01:08:52 PM »
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Lorenzo

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taga tigbao

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Re: Kansas Girl Expected To Marry A White Man
« Reply #5 on: May 27, 2013, 01:31:44 PM »

Their two adorable babies.

Kusog ang dugo sa Pinoy. Hehehe.

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Lorenzo

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Re: Kansas Girl Expected To Marry A White Man
« Reply #6 on: May 27, 2013, 01:32:45 PM »
Isug gajud ang dugo...hehehe.

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jorgeanna

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Re: Kansas Girl Expected To Marry A White Man
« Reply #7 on: May 27, 2013, 06:46:55 PM »
a marriage can never be perfect.. but the love can be!

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