Author Topic: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust  (Read 3148 times)

Kerstin

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How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« on: September 11, 2010, 05:34:51 PM »
from a friend,just wanna share you too.

 While there's no clear, fool-proof way to decipher your feelings for someone, there are certain ways to make the distinction between love, lust and infatuation clearer for yourself.

Steps

Could it be love?Write down everything that you associate with the person you're feeling strongly about. Example words on your brainstorm list could include love, butterflies, sex, holding hands, annoying snoring, gorgeous, etc.

Circle each attribute with a different color such as red for lust, yellow for infatuation, and green for love.
See which of the three feelings dominates the page. If one doesn't stand out (like if the distribution seems pretty equal), move on to the following steps for more insight.
 
Or is it lust?Read literature on the topic. Questions about love are timeless questions that have consumed mankind throughout the ages and are a major theme in many scriptures, tales from mythology, and literature. Read the story of David and Bathsheba from the Old Testament, 1st Corinthians from the New Testament, the story of Ali and Fatima, Echo and Narcissus, or Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.

Ask your friends or, if you find it easier, ask a complete and utter stranger, so that you get an honest opinion and an outsider's point of view. Tell that person how you feel, and ask them if it sounds primarily like love, infatuation, or lust.

Watch a movie that relates to your situation like "Cruel Intentions"
(which is about lust, and wanting what you can't have), "Down to You"
 (which is about love and leaving it all down to the other person), "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" (which is about none of them really but it's about making a mistake and putting it right), "The Notebook," which tells a tale of life-long love and commitment, "The Phantom of the Opera" (which is about both lust and infatuation) and definitely, "Titanic"
 (which is about holding on to someone forever until you die - that is love - bittersweet love), also, perhaps, "The Fly" (which is about a woman who falls in love with a man who turns into a fly and then goes insane, and yet remains deeply emotionally attached through this agonizing life change - which is love) or High Fidelity
(which is about learning what love really is).
Yet understand, that movies are fiction that depict idealized rather than realistic love.

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Kerstin

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #1 on: September 11, 2010, 05:36:35 PM »
Tips:

Keep in mind that in most relationships, you're feeling all three (love, infatuation, and lust) all at once, to some degree.

To help you make tough decisions about your relationship, ask someone you trust who has lots of experience with the kind of relationship you want for yourself. For example: Say you want to be happily married to one person for life. If your parents have both been bitterly divorced three times, then they are probably not the ones to talk to. On the other hand, if they are about to celebrate their 50th anniversary of bliss together, then they may be ideal to learn from.

Lasting relationships are those that are built on love - not infatuation or lust. Imagine the person you love in 50 years when they are old and fat. Would that change how you feel about them? If yes, then what you feel now is most likely lust/infatuation - not love.

Friendship should also weigh into your decision to commit. In 50 years, if you don't genuinely LIKE your mate,
 you're going to be miserable.

Remember that jealousy is not a result of love. It is more likely to be a result of infatuation, insecurity or fear of being alone. Are you in love with being in relationships?

A major life-changing decision like moving in together, getting engaged or getting married should be a natural step if you love someone. It should not inspire fear.

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Kerstin

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #2 on: September 11, 2010, 05:38:52 PM »
Take advantage of the post coital "moment of clarity" to examine your feelings. This is not usually the moment directly after orgasm (where most people are happy with the universe), but 5 or 10 minutes later, when your breathing and heart rate are normal. At this point, does the sex still make you feel closer to that person? Or are you beginning to feel regret and anxiety about what happened? If the latter, then it's most definitely not love but lust.

Give it some time. Love takes root slowly and grows with time. Infatuation grows into full bloom almost immediately.

What comes to mind when you think about this person. If you are not dating the person, think if you are eager to spend time with them or you just want to watch them from a distance. If you are in a relationship with the person, What do you want most out of the relationship. If you just want to consummate love to the person it is usually lust.

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Kerstin

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #3 on: September 11, 2010, 05:41:08 PM »
 Warnings:

If you're not sure about your feelings or your relationship, take things slowly. Spend time apart and see how you are feeling while you are away. Do you miss the person? Or are you more attracted to others when you are apart?

You may also want to consider the fact that it's not always as easy as being one of these three things; often there are a lot of grey areas, the distinctions are blurred, and it is very possible to feel two or even all of these feelings for a person..

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #4 on: September 13, 2010, 06:39:58 AM »
Lust
backs out when it's
no longer convenient.

Love
always perseveres.


"You're so good,
I want you now"
isn't the same as
"You're so good,
I"m willing to wait."

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #5 on: September 13, 2010, 06:40:47 AM »
Lust
ceases when self
is no longer served;
it's fickle,
insecure, unfaithful.



Love
never fails;
it's constant
and enduring.

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #6 on: September 13, 2010, 06:41:52 AM »
Love
never fails;
it's constant
and enduring.

Love
always trusts.



"Everybody's doing it"
does not mean
"I want to do it God's way."

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #7 on: September 13, 2010, 06:42:45 AM »
Lust
takes to gain
its own end and
lacks concern
for others.



Love
always protects.

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #8 on: September 13, 2010, 06:43:39 AM »
Lust
is disrespectful
and thoughtless.



Love
is not rude.

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #9 on: September 13, 2010, 06:44:44 AM »
Lust
can't wait;
it's impulsive.


Love
is patient.

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #10 on: September 23, 2010, 08:27:32 PM »
1 Corinthians Chapter 13 Verses 1-13

...Love is suffereth long, and is kind;
   Love envieth not; Love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
   Doth not behave unseemly, seeketh not her own,
   is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
   Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
   Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
   Love never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail;
   whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
...And now abideth faith, hope, love, these three; BUT THE GREATEST OF THESE IS LOVE.

 ;D

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;)

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #11 on: September 23, 2010, 08:41:29 PM »
Wow, very nice verse, Belle.

Praise be to God!  :)

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #12 on: September 23, 2010, 09:58:19 PM »
;)

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #13 on: September 27, 2010, 11:53:12 PM »
The desire of love is to give. The desire of lust is to get.

- Ed Cole -

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #14 on: September 28, 2010, 12:52:30 PM »
Love gives totally, without expecting anything in return. Lust merely aims to take, take, and never give.



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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #15 on: September 28, 2010, 05:54:58 PM »
Love gives totally, without expecting anything in return. Lust merely aims to take, take, and never give.



Korek!!!

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;)

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #16 on: January 23, 2011, 09:58:35 AM »
LoVe is like beko  ;D





woi ka bidli  :-X

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #17 on: January 23, 2011, 10:04:15 AM »
LoVe is like beko  ;D





woi ka bidli  :-X

love is like bicco cake. arang tamiis kaajo. ta! kaon na ta!  ;D

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #18 on: January 23, 2011, 10:04:43 AM »
Oops, nabutdan man kog tiyan sa pagbinasa aning mga golden thoughts diri. Makasala jud ko ani, kay gikaingon ra ba nga "Love farteth not".

 :-X

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #19 on: January 23, 2011, 10:04:48 AM »
Korek!!!

hehehehe korek ek ek ek diay? :P

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #20 on: January 23, 2011, 10:05:51 AM »
Oops, nabutdan man kog tiyan sa pagbinasa aning mga golden thoughts diri. Makasala jud ko ani, kay gikaingon ra ba nga "Love farteth not".

 :-X

mo agree ko nimo, Nong. Tinuod jyud ka, kai kining 'love' dili baja ni mo utot. :)

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #21 on: January 23, 2011, 10:06:44 AM »
1 Corinthians Chapter 13 Verses 1-13

...Love is suffereth long, and is kind;
   Love envieth not; Love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
   Doth not behave unseemly, seeketh not her own,
   is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
   Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
   Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
   Love never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail;
   whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
...And now abideth faith, hope, love, these three; BUT THE GREATEST OF THESE IS LOVE.

 ;D

wow! believe ko nimo, Inday Belle, Da! :)

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #22 on: January 23, 2011, 10:07:23 AM »
love is like bicco cake. arang tamiis kaajo. ta! kaon na ta!  ;D

beko with ginamos like samporado with buwad, pawa sa bidli ug pogong sa kabuhi  ;D

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #23 on: January 23, 2011, 10:10:14 AM »
Oops, nabutdan man kog tiyan sa pagbinasa aning mga golden thoughts diri. Makasala jud ko ani, kay gikaingon ra ba nga "Love farteth not".

 :-X

mora pod ka gikabuhi? nalipong sinakay sa feris wheel of love?  ;D



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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #24 on: January 23, 2011, 10:12:49 AM »
beko with ginamos like samporado with buwad, pawa sa bidli ug pogong sa kabuhi  ;D

hahaha ma taas atong kinabuhi sa ana, Day Kerstin. ;)

In regards to Love: aaaayyy Sarappp! Ka nami Gid!  ;D

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #25 on: January 23, 2011, 10:24:58 AM »
hahaha ma taas atong kinabuhi sa ana, Day Kerstin. ;)

In regards to Love: aaaayyy Sarappp! Ka nami Gid!  ;D

maupay gid ka describe about love,mora nag craving kinilaw bla  ;D

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #26 on: January 23, 2011, 10:27:55 AM »
beko with ginamos like samporado with buwad, pawa sa bidli ug pogong sa kabuhi  ;D

Kini maoy akong gikinahanglan ron, kay morag kasukaon man ko.  :P

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #27 on: January 23, 2011, 10:33:27 AM »
mora pod ka gikabuhi? nalipong sinakay sa feris wheel of love?  ;D

He he, labi na kay mosakay pud usahay sa carousel of infatuation and rollercoaster of lust...  ;D

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #28 on: January 23, 2011, 10:35:29 AM »
mo agree ko nimo, Nong. Tinuod jyud ka, kai kining 'love' dili baja ni mo utot. :)

ahihihi  chureness? lisod if ala kahungawan,,bugto tina..!

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #29 on: January 23, 2011, 10:35:49 AM »
mo agree ko nimo, Nong. Tinuod jyud ka, kai kining 'love' dili baja ni mo utot. :)

Kini si inday wa pa ni love kay first date pa man...





 ;D

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #30 on: January 23, 2011, 10:41:01 AM »
He he, labi na kay mosakay pud usahay sa carousel of infatuation and rollercoaster of lust...  ;D

ahihi..,and above all LoVe seeketh the exit of emotional turmoil?

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #31 on: January 23, 2011, 10:49:00 AM »
ahihi..,and above all LoVe seeketh the exit of emotional turmoil?

Emotional turmoil that manifests itself as intestinal gas, seeking exit against all odds?  ;D

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #32 on: January 23, 2011, 10:53:05 AM »
Emotional turmoil that manifests itself as intestinal gas, seeking exit against all odds?  ;D

..thats one among their arcaNum  :-X

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #33 on: January 23, 2011, 10:59:06 AM »
..thats one among their arcaNum  :-X

He he, arcanum with a safe-conduct pass through the rectum...  ;D

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #34 on: January 23, 2011, 11:07:40 AM »
He he, arcanum with a safe-conduct pass through the rectum...  ;D

anus.., as in nag anu os diay na kon maohon? haiyoung napod ko ari tiningsi..tabang eskimoo!

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Lorenzo

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #35 on: January 23, 2011, 11:59:26 AM »
maupay gid ka describe about love,mora nag craving kinilaw bla  ;D

hehehehe saboroso gid, inday. kinilaw sa Santa Barbara? ;)



Ay! Hu-O bala... ;D



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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #36 on: January 23, 2011, 01:18:12 PM »
ahihihi  chureness? lisod if ala kahungawan,,bugto tina..!

He he, mahilo sa kaugalingong hangin, unya mobuto ang tiyan?  :-X

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #37 on: January 23, 2011, 01:20:27 PM »
mora nag craving kinilaw bla  ;D

Oi, mao pay panghimisong, nangala na? Wayok!  :P

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Re: How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
« Reply #39 on: January 24, 2011, 09:21:43 AM »
wayok gyod  ::)

Kini kay wayok
Pa jud sa dayok,
Tiaw moy bayong
Nga nanghimisong... 


;D

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