Dong Bran if both of you are really meant to be, bisan unsa pay mahitabo sa kalibutan kamo man jud diba? I agree that long distance relationship is very hard to handle, but some people can still do and i envy for those who truly believe that distance will not hurt a bond between two people that is based on mutual respect, trust, commitment, and love. But based on my experienced, yet i also have my own share of heartaches with my 5 yrs bf in Phils. I travelled to denmark a year after my graduation in order to save a little money before we settle down, our relationship goes fine after a year that i left but on the next following year, i can feel that his losing faith on it though iv done all my best to sustain the love in our relationship, but i understand that being far behind cannot feel up all the emptiness that we both feel inside, then suddenly i lose my contact to him, and all i knew is that he is about to marry after few months that we lose contact with each other. Damn it hurts a lot but i need to let it go, though i still have lots of words that remain unspoken but i try to forgive him coz i still hope that there still good things that waits ahead. And the best lesson is you must know how to forget and forgive, though it takes a long process but at least you make the best step on it in order to face your new feature in life.
Concepcion, I do understand how you feel. In the case of my xgf, she and I have plans after college. She is now a 2nd year Law Student and I, a 2nd year Med student. She was the first person who I can safely say that I truly was in love with. We were friends since i was a freshman in college and still talk on occasion. The reason why we broke up was because I didn't want to anchor her to me and didn't want her to feel obliged to wait for me since I was only a 3rd year in college when she graduated. During my christmas break, i talked to her alot, over the phone, but was unable to visit her since she is in Pittsburgh and I'm based in New Jersey. In her voice over the phone, i can still feel a longing on my part and hers.
Would I be open to reopining a relationship? Of course, if it is in her interest as well. But i did tell her before that i would be unable to marry until i am finished schooling as well as my residency and firmly placed in a fellowship program in the field of my interest in medicine.
The age I want to marry is by early 30s or even late 20s. And of course, the issue of family acceptance. She, of course is White-American (French-Irish background). And though I am open in dating all kinds of races, white, latin, asian etc. I've always wanted to settle down with a Filipina woman. Preferably Bisaya.
So that is also the issue.
I cannot marry until I am finished not only studies, but professionally secured.
I want to be able to have the finances to afford a comfortable house and home for my wife, and for my children. I want them to be financially secured and safe. I don't want to marry early because I don't ever want my kids or my wife to have to suffer financial insecurities.
As a man, and as an expectant husband, and father, I want to be able to provide a level of security and stability. Which, in my strong point of view, is imperative for child rearing. And familial stability. To be able to provide for my children with the best schooling their hearts desire.
There is also the issue of familial stability. As the eldest child in my family. I cannot forget my parents and my siblings and my cousins and my uncles, aunts. My responsibility is not only just myself, but also to that of my family.
So I feel the pressure of not only caring for my own self interest, but also for the family's. Of course, that is given, considering I was raised in that atmosphere of 'Family First'.
God Willing, of course.
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