Author Topic: Why do women love 'bad boys'? (Read 1994 times)

hubag bohol · « **on:** December 09, 2012, 06:34:45 AM »

By Olivia Yao, Three Moons | Yahoo! SHE â€“ Fri, Nov 16, 2012 9:35 AM PHT

Youâ€™ve heard the stories of girls who go from one bad boy to the next, never learning, never willing to â€œsettleâ€ for a good guy because he isnâ€™t exciting enough, sexy enough, or man enough. And even if she gets hurt, it doesnâ€™t matter, sheâ€™ll take the bad boy anytime. What is the draw of the bad boy? And why canâ€™t some girls get enough of him?

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hubag bohol · « **Reply #1 on:** December 09, 2012, 06:35:42 AM »

1. Itâ€™s mediaâ€™s fault.

According to psychologist Kathleena dela Rosa, how media presents them plays a big role in the bad boy mystique. â€œThere are a lot of things that go into it,â€ she adds. â€œTheir looks (a bit scruffier or sometimes very dapper, think Chuck Bass), their manner of speaking, the way they act, and sometimes their vices.â€ They make the boy seem so attractive, especially if the showâ€™s most gorgeous girls fall for him at the drop of a hat.

2. His emotional unavailability.

â€œBeing emotionally unavailable or being a player especially adds to the bad boy charm,â€ says dela Rosa. Itâ€™s the challenge that girls crave, wanting what they canâ€™t have.

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hubag bohol · « **Reply #2 on:** December 09, 2012, 06:37:02 AM »

3. His confidence.

In author Mina Esguerraâ€™s book, That Kind of Guy, the main male character is a player. â€œAnton dates a lot. A new girl every week would be a slow week. Not someone you'd want to take home to mom and dad just yet,â€ she says.

â€œI think it's the confidence behind the â€˜here are my flawsâ€”deal with themâ€™ stand on life that's making them attractive,â€ she explains. â€œConfidence can really make up for a lot of things! What I tried to make a case for in the story was that there wasn't a Team Bad Boy/Good Guy, but rather a Sure/Unsure. I think the readers who sided with Anton did so because he was the guy who committed to things confidently.â€

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hubag bohol · « **Reply #3 on:** December 09, 2012, 06:37:53 AM »

4. The thrill.

Just like the challenge girls feel when theyâ€™re faced with an elusive boy, there is also the excitement of being with someone who is supposed to be off limits. Thereâ€™s a risk taker and a thrill seeker in each one of us. If you want to feel reckless and free, being with a bad boy may just be the ticket. â€œI guess what makes a guy â€˜badâ€™ to me is how irresponsible a girl feels when she's with him,â€ says Esguerra.

5. His acceptance.

Besides the excitement of being with a bad boy and going against what is expected of you, dela Rosa suggests another possibility. â€œBeing with a bad boy makes you feel more accepted,â€ she says. â€œWe all have a dark side, so a girl may feel that no matter what warts she may have, a bad boy will be more accepting of her.â€ Although itâ€™s also very possible that he may reject her too. If this happens and she still stays with him, then itâ€™s back to explanation number two.

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hubag bohol · « **Reply #4 on:** December 09, 2012, 06:38:44 AM »

Labels and stereotypes

Dela Rosa says that labels come about when people begin to judge others. â€œThe â€˜badnessâ€™ may be based on something real that a girl experienced with a boy or just from one trait,â€ she explains. Itâ€™s possible that he isnâ€™t really all bad. Esguerra points out that he may even be a good son or an excellent employeeâ€”but with a fear of commitment.

What does liking a bad boy say about you?

Be careful about stereotyping people, but at the same time, pay attention to yourself and why you think youâ€™re attracted to a bad boy. Maybe, just maybe, it has more to do with whatâ€™s lacking in you or what youâ€™re searching for than what you actually see in him. This self-knowledge or discovery, dela Rosa says, above all, is whatâ€™s important when it comes to picking a boyâ€”bad or not.

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jorgeanna · « **Reply #5 on:** December 09, 2012, 09:32:11 AM »

bad boys make good lovers as they say

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pioneer · « **Reply #6 on:** December 09, 2012, 09:40:31 AM »

it reminds me of the song: "maginoo pero medyo bastos."

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hubag bohol · « **Reply #7 on:** December 09, 2012, 09:57:57 AM »

bad boys make good lovers as they say

Daghang TB members nga mouyon sa hilom niining maong panultihon...

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Lorenzo · « **Reply #8 on:** December 09, 2012, 10:06:13 AM »

Let's reverse this question: Why do men like good girls?

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islander · « **Reply #9 on:** December 09, 2012, 02:07:10 PM »

i don't like, much less love, bad boys. period.

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islander · « **Reply #10 on:** December 09, 2012, 02:10:20 PM »

1. Itâ€™s mediaâ€™s fault.

contributory, perhaps. but the fault lies in the girl's decision just the same.

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islander · « **Reply #11 on:** December 09, 2012, 02:13:24 PM »

2. His emotional unavailability.

ugh. why should any girl settle for someone who is emotionally bereft? go figure.

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islander · « **Reply #12 on:** December 09, 2012, 02:17:54 PM »

3. His confidence.

of which too much is a turn-off. pair this with no. 1 (i.e., it's media's fault) and you'll have someone who would seem like someone i know...

james dean of the seminal movie 'rebel without a cause' (media), and this guy i know who insists he looks like the actor (confidence). ugh. i'd go for santa claus who just passed through the chimney, hands down.

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islander · « **Reply #13 on:** December 09, 2012, 02:25:37 PM »

4. The thrill.

is there a thrilla in a potential gorilla who can beat the daylights out of meah?

5. His acceptance.

i'd rather find acceptance in someone who's quite acceptable for me, too.

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islander · « **Reply #14 on:** December 09, 2012, 02:28:50 PM »

Labels and stereotypes

now, this sounds more like it. yes, labels and stereotypes can go dead wrong. what is perceived by others as bad may be seen by the concerned girl as actually good. she sees what others fail to see. that makes all the difference.

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islander · « **Reply #15 on:** December 09, 2012, 02:30:01 PM »

Let's reverse this question: Why do men like good girls?

so men won't be put to shame by their peers.

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islander · « **Reply #16 on:** December 09, 2012, 02:33:49 PM »

Caesarâ€™s wife must be above suspicion.

â€œI thought my wife ought not even to be under suspicion.â€ -Julius Caesar

nothing is said about caesar being above suspicion.

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hubag bohol · « **Reply #17 on:** December 09, 2012, 06:25:49 PM »

Let's reverse this question: Why do men like good girls?

Hmm, they do? Men? Maybe you mean boys...

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hubag bohol · « **Reply #18 on:** December 09, 2012, 06:27:26 PM »

i don't like, much less love, bad boys. period.

It's not love then? Hmm, I don't want to second-guess you, a woman of words, what you really want to say...

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hubag bohol · « **Reply #19 on:** December 09, 2012, 06:28:44 PM »

ugh. why should any girl settle for someone who is emotionally bereft? go figure.

You go figure your lack of understanding of this truism...

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hubag bohol · « **Reply #20 on:** December 09, 2012, 06:30:51 PM »

of which too much is a turn-off. pair this with no. 1 (i.e., it's media's fault) and you'll have someone who would seem like someone i know...

james dean of the seminal movie 'rebel without a cause' (media), and this guy i know who insists he looks like the actor (confidence). ugh. i'd go for santa claus who just passed through the chimney, hands down.

Hmm, admit it. A clown's confidence is sexy to you...

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Lorenzo · « **Reply #21 on:** December 09, 2012, 10:05:30 PM »

Hmm, they do? Men? Maybe you mean boys...

The term 'good girl" is a general term for young women who are reputable, respectful, wall-mannered. There is a difference between men and boys.

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Lorenzo · « **Reply #22 on:** December 09, 2012, 10:07:40 PM »

i don't like, much less love, bad boys. period.

he he he, good girl gajud.

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Lorenzo · « **Reply #23 on:** December 09, 2012, 10:10:17 PM »

ugh. why should any girl settle for someone who is emotionally bereft? go figure.

yup.

only a woman who is also emotionally 'unattached' would go for a man who is also, admittedly, emotionally unattached. in the end, however, like any physical relationship, one starts to "fall in love".

in my experience in having friends that tried this, its usually the guy that gets attached. women are strong.

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