MikeLigalig.com

A personal experience:

Customer: The pictures are successfully transferred but I cannot see them.
Me: Please make sure that the frame is plugged.
Customer: Oh, do I need to plug it to the outlet to see the pictures?

Me: May I have the model of your battery?
Customer: No mercury added.

Me: What is the model of your camera?
Customer: 10 megapixels

Me: What is the operating system of your computer?
Customer: Microsoft.

others...

Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'
Customer: ' Ok.'
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No.'
Tech Support: 'Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No.'
Tech Support: 'Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
point?'
Customer: 'Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'
***

Customer:: 'Do I need a computer to use your software?'
Tech Support:: ?!%#$
***

Tech Support:: 'Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see
the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'
***

Tech Support:: 'What type of computer do you have?'
Customer:: 'A white one.'
***

Tech Support: 'Is your computer on a separate telephone line?'
Customer: 'No.' (clicks the button to log on to our (service))
Tech Support:: 'Well then we can't-'
Customer:: 'It says 'no dial tone'.'
Tech Support: 'That's because you're on the line with me right now. You
need to- '
Customer:: 'No, that's not it. It does this all the time. I just have to
try a few times, and it will let me through.'
Tech Support:: 'No, ma'am. It's not even trying to dial right now because
you're on the phone with me.'
***

Tech Support: What's on your screen right now?
Customer: A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery
store.
***

Tech Support:: What operating system are you running?
Customer: Pentium.
***

Customer: My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion.
***

Customer: I have Microsoft Exploder.
***

Customer: How do I print my voicemail?
***

Customer: 'You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a
document, but the computer won't boot properly.
Tech Support: What does it say?
Customer: Something about an error and non-system disk.
Tech Support: Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?
Customer: No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside.
***

Tech Support: Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24
hours.
Customer: Is that Eastern time?
***

Tech Support:: What does the screen say now?
Customer: It says, Hit ENTER when ready
Tech Support:: Well then... what's the problem?
Customer: How do I know when it's ready?
***

Tech Support:: Type A:\ at the prompt.
Customer:: How do you spell that?



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