Author Topic: THE WEDDING TEST (Read 2311 times)

jorgeanna · « **on:** April 14, 2010, 07:37:38 PM »

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less,
would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations . She was
alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't
overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well,I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.'

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lord... and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.'

And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.

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teng · « **Reply #1 on:** April 14, 2010, 09:13:01 PM »

ahahahahahha atot....unsaon na lang ug walay car pareha nako

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glacier_71 · « **Reply #2 on:** April 14, 2010, 09:48:25 PM »

pabujag pod ning pamilyaha ay. hahahahaha

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bol-anon nga cebuano · « **Reply #3 on:** April 14, 2010, 10:58:42 PM »

naluwas sa nahibilin nga condom. kung pinoy pa to naa ra sa pitaka ang condom. hehehe

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jorgeanna · « **Reply #4 on:** April 15, 2010, 06:47:55 PM »

To soon to tell?

The morning after their honeymoon night, the wife says to her husband, "you know, You're really a lousy lover!"

The husband replies, "How would you know after only 30 seconds?"

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statesville · « **Reply #5 on:** April 17, 2010, 09:28:23 AM »

Too much speeding

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.

"But, officer," the man began, "I can explain"

"Just be quiet," snapped the officer.

"I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."

"But, officer, I just wanted to say"

"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said,

"Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."

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hubag bohol · « **Reply #6 on:** April 17, 2010, 10:43:46 AM »

Too much speeding

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.

"But, officer," the man began, "I can explain"

"Just be quiet," snapped the officer.

"I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."

"But, officer, I just wanted to say"

"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said,

"Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."

Bwahaha. Patay kang pulisa ka...

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bol-anon nga cebuano · « **Reply #7 on:** April 19, 2010, 11:02:05 PM »

Traffic Police (with a pen and ticket to a traffic violator): Name?
Foreigner Driver: Wilhelm Von Corgrinski Papakovitz.
Traffic Police: Ahhh okay.....(sabay tago ticket)...Next time be careful, ok?

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glacier_71 · « **Reply #8 on:** April 19, 2010, 11:14:28 PM »

Traffic Police (with a pen and ticket to a traffic violator): Name?
Foreigner Driver: Wilhelm Von Corgrinski Papakovitz.
Traffic Police: Ahhh okay.....(sabay tago ticket)...Next time be careful, ok?

hahahaha...panakop pa'g foreigner...

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jorgeanna · « **Reply #9 on:** April 20, 2010, 12:30:26 AM »

Traffic Police (with a pen and ticket to a traffic violator): Name?
Foreigner Driver: Wilhelm Von Corgrinski Papakovitz.
Traffic Police: Ahhh okay.....(sabay tago ticket)...Next time be careful, ok?

hahhaaha intawn pud

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statesville · « **Reply #10 on:** April 21, 2010, 02:03:38 AM »

A man is almost about to die
As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife,
"I cannot die without telling you the truth.
I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage.
All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women.
And not just one woman either, but I've slept with dozens of them."

His wife looked at him calmly and said, "Why do you think I gave you the poison?"

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jorgeanna · « **Reply #11 on:** April 21, 2010, 02:24:51 AM »

A man is almost about to die
As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife,
"I cannot die without telling you the truth.
I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage.
All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women.
And not just one woman either, but I've slept with dozens of them."

His wife looked at him calmly and said, "Why do you think I gave you the poison?"

mao na ni hahahahha

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hubag bohol · « **Reply #12 on:** April 21, 2010, 07:46:06 PM »

Patas na sila...

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statesville · « **Reply #13 on:** April 22, 2010, 04:42:01 AM »

After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife
decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling.

They had been at each others throat for some time and felt that this was their last straw.
When they arrived at the counselor's office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion.

"What seems to be the problem?" Immediately, the husband held his long face down without anything to say.
On the other hand, the wife began talking 90 miles an hour describing all the wrongs within their marriage.

After 5...10...15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counselor went over to her, picked her up
by her shoulders, kissed her passionately for several minutes, and sat her back down.
Afterward, the wife sat there speechless.

He looked over at the husband who was staring in disbelief at what had happened.
The counselor spoke to the husband, "Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!"

The husband scratched his head and replied,
"I can have her here every Tuesdays and Thursdays."

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glacier_71 · « **Reply #14 on:** April 22, 2010, 04:46:59 AM »

whahahaha...tingali pagkadungog sa Counselor sa gingon sa bana, giusab ang iyang giingon. dili na twice a week kundi twice a day na.

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lindy · « **Reply #15 on:** April 22, 2010, 05:57:05 AM »

so ingnon nimo Teng na imo future sis in law nga hulat lang inighuman sa kasal namo kay ikaw ako isunod, ug moapil ang mama ingna pod your in line.hahaha.

ahahahahahha atot....unsaon na lang ug walay car pareha nako

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bol-anon quo nyur! · « **Reply #16 on:** April 22, 2010, 06:55:05 AM »

so ingnon nimo Teng na imo future sis in law nga hulat lang inighuman sa kasal namo kay ikaw ako isunod, ug moapil ang mama ingna pod your in line.hahaha.

Pwede na ka ma Counselor Bai!

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hubag bohol · « **Reply #17 on:** April 22, 2010, 08:06:44 AM »

so ingnon nimo Teng na imo future sis in law nga hulat lang inighuman sa kasal namo kay ikaw ako isunod, ug moapil ang mama ingna pod your in line.hahaha.

Bitaw, Bay Lindy, lisod na kon naay magmahay...

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statesville · « **Reply #18 on:** April 24, 2010, 05:17:47 AM »

The Funeral
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course.
One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral
procession on the road next to the course.
He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen.
You truly are a kind man."

The man then replies: "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

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hubag bohol · « **Reply #19 on:** April 24, 2010, 05:42:46 AM »

The Funeral
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course.
One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral
procession on the road next to the course.
He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen.
You truly are a kind man."

The man then replies: "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

Bwahaha! A touching gesture indeed!

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