Author Topic: The Inday Adventures (Read 8278 times)

Barbaro · « **on:** September 22, 2007, 06:20:05 PM »

Dahil sa tindi ng kahirapan sa probinsya, namasukan si Inday bilang katulong sa Maynila. Habang ini-interview ng amo.

Amo: Kelangan namin ng katulong para mag ayos ng bahay, magluto, maglaba, magplantsa, mamalengke, at magbantay ng mga bata. Kaya mo ba ang lahat ng ito?

Inday: I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute significantly to the value of the work that you want, my creativity, productivity and work-efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress.

Amo: [nosebleed]

Kinabukasan, habang nasa opisina ang amo, may tumawag sa telepono.
Inday: Hi, you are calling in the midst of me cooking our lunch, my superiors aren't around. I'm the immediate person in support. How may i help you? If you wish to leave a message, an abrupt tone means your diverted to our voicemail.

Caller: [Ibinaba ang telepono]

Nakaraan ang dalawang araw, umuwi ang amo, nakitang me bukol si junior.

Amo: Bakit me bukol si junior?

Inday: Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.

Amo: [nosebleed ulit]

Kinagabihan, habang naghahapunan.

Amo: Bakit maalat ang ulam?

Inday: The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased amount of sodium chloride (NaCl) affected the taste drastically and those actions are irreversible. I do apologize.

Amo: [nosebleed na naman]

Tapos, sabi pa...

Amo: Bakit tuwing paguwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng tv?!

Inday: Because I don't want you to see me doing absolutely nothing.

Amo: [hinimatay]

Kinabukasan, sinamahan ni Inday si junior sa principal's office dahil di makapunta ang amo at donya.

Principal: Sinuntok ni junior ang kanyang kaklase.

Inday: It's absurd! It was never a fact that he will inflict a fight. I can only imagine how you handle schizophrenic kids on this educational institution. Revise your policies because they suck!

Principal: [nag resign]

Pag dating sa bahay, nandun na ang amo, galit na galit.

Amo: Inday, bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!

Inday: A change in the weather patterns might have occurred wrecking havoc to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was heading for.

Amo: [nosebleed ulit]

Habang nagluluto si Inday ng hapunan, malikot si junior.

Inday: Stop your raucous behavior. It is bound to result in property damages and if that happens there will be corresponding punishment to be inflicted upon you!

Junior: [takbo sa CR, punasan ang nagdudugong ilong]

Pagkatapos magluto, nanood na ng TV si Inday. Nabalitaan nya umalis si Angel Locsin sa GMA 7.

Junior: Bakit kaya sya umalis?

Inday: Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons but because they just know that things will get worse if they'll stay. Leaving can be a tough act, and it's harder when people can't understand you for doing so.

Junior: [tuloy ang pagdugo ng ilong]

Dumating ang amo bago maghapunan.

Amo: Day! Bakit may rashes si Junjun?

Inday: Allergens triggered the immune response. Eosinophillic migratin occurs to the reaction site and release of chemotactic and anaphylotoxin including histamine and protaglandins. These substance results to increased circulation to the site promoting redness.

Amo: Sori?

Nung gabing yon, me nag text ke Inday. Si Dodong, ang driver ng kapitbahay, gusto maki pag text-mate.

Inday: To forestall further hopes of acquaintance, my unfathomable statement to the denial of your request - Petition denied.

Di nagla-on, dahil sa tyaga ni Dodong, nagging syota nya rin si Inday. Pero di tumagal ang kanilang relasyon, at nakipag-break si Inday ke Dodong.

Inday: The statute restricts me to love you but you have the provocations. The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love you. We have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper household dismissed my petition!

Dodong: Perhaps you are mistaken, what you seem to contrive as any affections for you are somewhat half-hearted. I was merely attempting to expand my network of interests by involving you in my daily recreation. Heretofor, you can expect an end to any verbal articulation from myself

Me dumaan na mamang basurero, at narinig ang usapan ni Inday at Dodong.

Basurero (sabi ke Inday): Be careful in letting go of the things you thought are just nothing because maybe someday you'll realize that the one you gave away is the very thing you've been wishing for to stay.

Kinagabihan, kinausap si Inday ng kanyang amo...
Inday: Being a third party doesn't mean that you're destroying a relationship. It only means that you make two souls realize that they are not meant to be!

More Inday Quotes:

I pity you for you have degraded your very own pride and dignity by resorting to this despicable behavior just for the sake of having something to feed your fetish appetite for wealth and i hope that one day you'll be rational enough to realize that you should not use other humans as means in the attainment of your ends. As what the great philosopher Kant uttered, 'treat a man as an end in himself'.
- sagot ni inday sa dugu-dugu gang na tumawag sa bahay ng amo nya

-0-0-0-0-0-

Attached herewith is a list of proposed acquisition in line with my proposal to upgrade your household facilities. I have already made initial survey of current market prices. Note however that prices could vary depending on the prevailing exchange rate and aggregate supply and demand which we also monitor on an hourly basis.
- si inday, nagpapaalam para mamalengke

-0-0-0-0-0-

The dwindling resource of hydrogen2 and oxygen present, coupled with the stabile amount of precise heat in the thermal environ of the vessel, resulted in the premature hydration of the 'Oryza Sativa', hence the calefaction factor was rendered lost and wandering when the algid formation came about.
- sagot ni inday kung bakit HILAW ang kanin

-0-0-0-0-0-

Ipomea aquatica has become the constant ingredient to this filipino delicacy which is very helpful in the digestion during the peristaltic process of the food we intake. Due to the continuous rains and floods, the harvest of the said vegetables has lessen the production in the market.
- banat pa ni inday sa amin kung bakit walang kangkong sa nilutong sinigang

-0-0-0-0-0-

Drunken tiger shrimp and blue lobster meat, cut diagonally and caviar served with milagrosa rice (red variety) and apricot sauce. Vegetables in balsamic vinegar splashed with extra virgin olive oil garnished with mint leaves. Lychee and peach salad
- inihanda ni inday para ibaon ni jun-jun sa daycare

-0-0-0-0-0-

Physical stress and excessive work may result to serious damage to one's body. It is therefore essential that once in a while, we take a break from our usual routine to replenish our lost energy.
- sagot ni inday sa amo niya ng ayaw syang payagan mag day-off

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Bambi · « **Reply #1 on:** September 22, 2007, 10:13:21 PM »

This is some of among the reasons why our Pinays as domestic helpers are a great demand abroad........very wise gjod!

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Sigbin II · « **Reply #2 on:** October 04, 2007, 01:24:14 PM »

Just read this thread. I see that there's a lot more to Inday than I thought.

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Happy · « **Reply #3 on:** October 18, 2007, 06:37:50 PM »

Magka-nosebleed lagi ta ug binasa sa storya ni inday

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ms da binsi · « **Reply #4 on:** October 18, 2007, 10:51:37 PM »

Inday reminds me of me...

hehehehehhe

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Barbaro · « **Reply #5 on:** November 01, 2007, 12:23:23 PM »

Si Inday (deal or no deal edition)

Sumali si Inday sa Deal or No Deal

Kris: Magandang gabi mga kapamilya, sa gameshow na ito importante ang sagot sa nag-iisang katanungang Deal or no Deal. Ang ating player ngayong gabi ay walang iba kundi ang fastest-rising household services manager na si Inday!
[umentra si Inday at nagpalakpakan ang mga tao]

Kris: Ok Inday, choose a briefcase.

Inday: Kris, I would opt for case #4 please.

Kris: Briefcase # 4â€¦ si Sharmel. Inday, matanong ko lang, how did you come up with the number 4?

Inday: Oh, do you really want to know Kris?

Kris: Oo naman. I'm sure kaya ko naman maintindihan yung sasabihin mo eh.

Inday: The number 4 was acquired based on a probability distribution function that involves integrating up to an area greater than or equal to that random number which should be generated between 0 and 1 for proper distributions.

Kris: Syet. tanong tanong pa kasi eh.

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Happy · « **Reply #6 on:** November 02, 2007, 03:02:20 AM »

hahaha

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Barbaro · « **Reply #7 on:** November 07, 2007, 05:16:48 PM »

Nasali si Inday sa Deal or No Deal Part 2
Kris: Ok Inday, choose 6 briefcases to open.
Inday: I would opt for 7, 24, 12, 2, 15 and 20.
Kris: Wait lang Inday, usually isa isa lang ang pagbubukas natin ng caseâ€¦
Inday: Why is that? As if I can change the outcome if we're to open a case each time I blurt out a number as opposed to opening each case immediately one after the other right?
Kris: Hayyyâ€¦babaguhin pa talaga mechanics (bulong sa sarili).
Kris: Anwyay, di bale na lang ngaâ€¦ tuloy tayo. Number 7. Natalie buksan na!!
[Yung audience sumisigaw ng LOWER!! LOWER!!!]
Kris: Teka lang, bago natin buksanâ€¦ Inday, usually ang mga contestants naten ay sumisigaw ng "LOWER" every time magbubukas ng case.
Inday: Kris, I guess that's not the way I was taught in grade school. You see, I was taught that we should only use the comparative form of the word or add "ER" to the adjective if we are comparing two things. And since it is only the first briefcase that we are going to open, we have nothing to compare it to. Am I right?
[natahimik ang audience at napaisip]
Kris: Oo nga no!

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Happy · « **Reply #8 on:** November 08, 2007, 06:03:45 AM »

hahaha mautak talaga si Inday

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grazie7y · « **Reply #9 on:** November 08, 2007, 07:43:56 AM »

Go Inday! heheheh

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Barbaro · « **Reply #10 on:** November 10, 2007, 02:55:21 AM »

Nasali si Inday sa Deal or No Deal Part 3
Kris: Sige Natalie, Buksan mo na.
[Ang laman ng briefcase 7 ay Piso â€¦ Palakpakan ang mga tao]
Kris: Good start! Ano yung next case mo ulit?
Inday: Case number 24 please.
Kris: Chloeâ€¦ buksan naâ€¦
[Audience sumisigaw ulit ng LOWER!! LOWER!!]
Kris: Wait lang guys, Inday may nabuksan ng case baket di ka pa rin sumisigaw ng "Lower"?
Inday: Oh my goodness Kris, how long have you been doing this? Have you ever encountered a value that is lower than a peso in this game? Tell me, is there any value left lower than the one we just opened? Sheesh.
[Napaisip ulit ang audience at natahimik]
Kris: Aarrgghh!!!! Chloe buksan na lang nga, pati na rin yung 12, 2, 15 and 20 buksan na rin para matapos na. [naiirita na]
[At sunod sunod na ngang nabukas ang mga case ni Inday]
[nag-ring ang phone]
Inday: Ahh Kris, to save more time can you tell Banker that I'm not interested in his first offer. In the history of this game of chance, I have yet to see someone accept a first offer from the banker. It's quite pathetic and pretentious for contestants to pause and look around the audience as if asking for advice before ultimately rejecting the first offer. I mean come on, isn't that a waste of airtime?
Banker: Potahhh!!! [narinig sa set kahit sarado ang kwarto ni banker]
- Ito ang unang pagkakataon na marinig ng mga audience ang boses ni banker sa Deal or no Deal.

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Glen · « **Reply #11 on:** November 10, 2007, 05:34:29 AM »

Da.....huli ka banker! Wala siguroy pundo si banker mao gisapot.

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grazie7y · « **Reply #12 on:** November 10, 2007, 05:36:40 AM »

Yehey, Glen is back! Welcome back, Glen!

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Happy · « **Reply #13 on:** November 10, 2007, 05:39:36 AM »

hahaha, way batasan si banker kay namalikas

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Glen · « **Reply #14 on:** November 10, 2007, 06:45:11 AM »

Yehey, Glen is back! Welcome back, Glen!

Thanks Grazie.

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Sigbin II · « **Reply #15 on:** November 10, 2007, 06:48:56 PM »

Gisapot si Banker kay way ikatubag ni Inday.

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Barbaro · « **Reply #16 on:** November 12, 2007, 08:38:38 AM »

Nasali si Inday sa Deal or No Deal Part 4
â€¦ dumating na sa kalagitnaan ng show at mukhang minamalas na si Indayâ€¦
Kris: Ok Inday, mukhang kelangan na natin ng tulong sa mga friends moâ€¦ sino ba yung bigotilyong lalaki na naka-polo? Ano name nya?
Inday: Ahh, thatâ€™s my master Mr. Montemayor.
Kris: Ahhh sya pala yun, how cute naman pala eh. Sige sir, give us a number.
Mr. Montemayor: Hi Kris, good evening. Iâ€™m a fan. I choose number 12 please.
Kris: Ano Inday ok ba yung number 12?
Inday: Whatever, we shouldnâ€™t bite the hand that feeds us anyway. Go ahead.
Kris: [taray naman] Sofie, buksan na!
[ang laman ng briefcase 12 ay 5,000]
Kris: Good job! Sino naman yung gwapong lalake na naka jumper na katabi ni Mr. Montemayor? Whatâ€™s his name?
Inday: Ahh, thatâ€™s my on again off again boyfriend, Dodong the gardener.
Kris: Ooohh, sya pala yun. Ok Dodong, give us a number!
Dodong: Hi babes, I choose briefcase 9 if itâ€™s ok with you. If not, itâ€™s ok with me as long as itâ€™s ok with you.
Kris: Ano raw? Inday, number 9 daw ok say0?
Inday: Yes Kris, itâ€™s fine with me.
Kris: Wow ang bait pag kay Dodong. Ederlynâ€¦ buksan na!!
â€¦nanlaki ang mga mata ni Inday at hindi sya makapaniwala. Natahimik at mukhang kakapusin sya ng hiningaâ€¦
Inday: YOU!!! How dare you invade my moment!
[nagulat si Kris at ang mga audience sa reaksyon ni Inday. Nagpatawag si Kris ng commercial break at nagpakuha ng tubig para kay Inday.]

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mikeygatal · « **Reply #17 on:** November 14, 2007, 07:57:52 AM »

kani mura jud ug maka relate na story and song,nag sige ko ug katawa the whole day!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3bXHjdGFYs

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Happy · « **Reply #18 on:** November 16, 2007, 05:11:19 AM »

hahaha

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Barbaro · « **Reply #19 on:** November 23, 2007, 12:01:28 PM »

Si Manang ang Bagong Katunggali ni Inday!
â€ Ang batayan ng pagiging mahusay na kasambahay ay hindi masusukat sa kakayahan sa isang mahusay na pakikipagtalastasan gamit ang pananalitang banyaga. Sa halip, itoâ€™y masusuri sa kakayahang gampanan ang pangkalahatang gawain at pagsisilbi sa taong pinaglilingkuran. Wala sa salita kundi sa gawa!â€

Si Manang, ang bagong pantapat kay Inday!

ABANGAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Barbaro · « **Reply #20 on:** December 05, 2007, 07:18:50 AM »

REASONS WHY YOU KEEP INDAY FOR 10 YEARS:
1. Obedient: Nakahanda na po ako koya...ng pagkain.
2. Polite: Luluhod na po ba ako koya...para bless ang food?
3. Carefull: Dahan dahan naman po koya...baka mabasag ang plato.
4. Open: Ang sarap koya..sana araw-araw, ganito ulam natin.
5. Concerned: Bilis mo naman koya..darating na po si man..sigurado
gutom na yon.
6. Frank: Hay koya wag mo na pilit, dina tigas yan....sira freezer.

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Sigbin II · « **Reply #21 on:** December 19, 2007, 02:48:19 PM »

Si Manang ang Bagong Katunggali ni Inday!
â€ Ang batayan ng pagiging mahusay na kasambahay ay hindi masusukat sa kakayahan sa isang mahusay na pakikipagtalastasan gamit ang pananalitang banyaga. Sa halip, itoâ€™y masusuri sa kakayahang gampanan ang pangkalahatang gawain at pagsisilbi sa taong pinaglilingkuran. Wala sa salita kundi sa gawa!â€

Si Manang, ang bagong pantapat kay Inday!

ABANGAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Manang is not really a match for Inday. "Wala sa salita kundi sa gawa," she says, but she's still a stickler for grammar and language. She's just a mono-linguistic version of Inday. Wa gihapon siyay round ni Inday. INDAY!!! INDAY!!! INDAY!!! INDAY FOREVER!!!

hehehe

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C2H4 · « **Reply #22 on:** December 19, 2007, 03:22:53 PM »

Mr Sigbin,

mura'g infatuated man ka anang Inday,

mag selos jud to's Ginger

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Lorenzo · « **Reply #23 on:** December 19, 2007, 03:24:51 PM »

hahaha

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grazie7y · « **Reply #24 on:** December 19, 2007, 03:27:41 PM »

hahahahha wa jud ka antos si ms. c2, ning tingog jud!

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C2H4 · « **Reply #25 on:** December 19, 2007, 03:29:48 PM »

Nag libog man gud ko Ms Grazie

kung kinsa jud iyaha

si Ginger ba or si Inday

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Sigbin II · « **Reply #26 on:** December 19, 2007, 03:31:27 PM »

Mr Sigbin,

mura'g infatuated man ka anang Inday,

mag selos jud to's Ginger

Ethel, I am merely a fan of Inday. Affairs of the heart are another matter.

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Lorenzo · « **Reply #27 on:** December 19, 2007, 03:32:08 PM »

Well said, Paul.

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C2H4 · « **Reply #28 on:** December 19, 2007, 03:32:42 PM »

Thank you Mr Sigbin

for clarifying the situation

hehehe

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C2H4 · « **Reply #29 on:** December 19, 2007, 03:34:02 PM »

Well said, Paul.

Bitaw dong, klaro jud nga abogado. Hehehe.

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Lorenzo · « **Reply #30 on:** December 19, 2007, 03:36:10 PM »

Indeed. Very direct, yet discrete.

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grazie7y · « **Reply #31 on:** December 19, 2007, 03:47:47 PM »

hay, basta ako pahipi lang ko dre gaka tickle ang akong heart...

unya na lang ko mobalak, Higalang Sigbin
kanang hinog na ang pagbati sa mga nahingtungdan...

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Sigbin II · « **Reply #32 on:** December 19, 2007, 03:48:14 PM »

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C2H4 · « **Reply #33 on:** December 19, 2007, 03:49:09 PM »

ms grazie,

puede karborohon para dali ra mohinog?

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grazie7y · « **Reply #34 on:** December 19, 2007, 04:11:11 PM »

hahahha depende na kini Ms. C2 sa mga nahingtungdan.

By the way, Paul, why man na this imong tubag -

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Sigbin II · « **Reply #35 on:** December 19, 2007, 04:44:31 PM »

I...am...blushing...from...em...bar...rass...ment. $:-\$

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C2H4 · « **Reply #36 on:** December 19, 2007, 04:54:24 PM »

Ms Grazie,

kanang mo blush...like some fruits 'blush', that's a sign of ripeness, di ba?

Ning hinog na Ms Grazie,

panahon na para sa imong balak

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grazie7y · « **Reply #37 on:** December 27, 2007, 07:27:50 AM »

hahahahha wala pa ko kakita ug lalaki ga blush! hmmm, maka kanta man sad ta'g "how deep is your love?"

hehehehhe sige, ato sang aninawon Ms C2 unsa jud ni dagan sa ilang mga balatian!

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C2H4 · « **Reply #38 on:** December 27, 2007, 01:55:39 PM »

Pag andam na sa imong balak Ms Grazie,

kay murag kusog kusog ning dagan sa mga balatian dire

mura'g ka kusga sa SuperCat

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Barbaro · « **Reply #39 on:** January 21, 2008, 02:10:30 AM »

Ano ang sinabi ni Dr. Jose Rizal kay Inday?
Rizal: Inday, ang hindi magmahal sa sariling wika ay mas masahol
pa sa halimaw at malansang isda.
Inday: Thank you for that wonderful word of wisdom, but don't you
know that I already read all your writings, unfortunately I was really
disappointed because majority of your novels were written in spanish
and latin. So, therefore, you are the ultimate violator of your own
aphorism.

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