Author Topic: Text Jokes (Read 31431 times)

ms da binsi · « **Reply #40 on:** September 20, 2007, 06:44:26 AM »

wahahhahhahhahhahahhahahhahhha

abi nimo naka dungog na ko ani sa una pero katawa lang gihapon ko....hahahhahhhahha

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Barbaro · « **Reply #41 on:** September 23, 2007, 07:30:35 PM »

usa ka maestra nag inspection sa iya mga estudyante,naa sya na himatigdan sa iya mga estudyante ug naghimo siya ug sulat alang sa mga ginikakan.

titser : dear parents palihog pakaligoa ang inyong anak sa dili pa moanhi sa eskwelahan
kay nanimahong anghit!

ginikanan nasuko : dear ma'am ang among anak among gipatongha aron makat on !
dili aron singhoton !

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ms da binsi · « **Reply #42 on:** September 23, 2007, 11:40:13 PM »

pagka pait, dili na gyud ko mag maestra ani .... hahhahhhhaha

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Barbaro · « **Reply #43 on:** September 27, 2007, 01:47:25 AM »

Consul: Why do you want to go to USA? Amo: To travel and visit relatives. Consul: Denied! Consul: And you? Inday: For life is a never ending pursuit of material and social satisfaction that I tender my great intent of actualizing a transpacific journey to the land of milk and honey. An affable sanctuary where dreams become reality and a perfect habitat where souls like mine can reach the pedestal of freedom. Consul: Lifetime Multiple Entry Visa, granted! Amo, hinimatay!

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hazel · « **Reply #44 on:** September 27, 2007, 02:47:10 AM »

hahahahahahahhaha

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Barbaro · « **Reply #45 on:** September 27, 2007, 09:05:08 PM »

Titser: Juan, use DOES in a sentence.
Juan: Maam, the carabao doesmag the tree!
Titser: What? What?
Juan: Matabang nimo ug huwat nga nadasmag na!

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ms da binsi · « **Reply #46 on:** September 27, 2007, 09:42:32 PM »

hahhahahaaaahaa

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Happy · « **Reply #47 on:** September 28, 2007, 07:06:54 PM »

hahaha

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Barbaro · « **Reply #48 on:** September 30, 2007, 03:47:51 PM »

Overnight inaral ng amo ni Inday ang dictionary para may pangtapat na siya kay Inday. Amo: So, Inday, tell me, how do you accept the fact that you are just a mere chambermaid in this extravagant mansion? Inday: Una camarera? Eres tan pathetic. La unica razon que inscribi tu casa es porque nada esta sucediendo dentro de tu casa cuasi-agradable. Quisiera traer una poca clase en este hogar pero conjeturo que no puedo porque esta casa es fea. Amo: Nosebleed

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ms da binsi · « **Reply #49 on:** October 01, 2007, 09:43:10 AM »

nakasabot ko gamay...

lorenzo, help!!!

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Sigbin II · « **Reply #50 on:** October 04, 2007, 01:20:21 PM »

"A chambermaid? You're so pathetic. The only reason I came into this house was because nothing was happening here."

I sort of understand the first three sentences but the last one evades me. I tried to get contextual clues from the last sentence but I only got "your house is ugly."

Sa kakanosebleed niya, dapat lumayas na ang amo sa bahay niya.

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Barbaro · « **Reply #51 on:** October 04, 2007, 01:42:09 PM »

Joe: Pre, kada gabii ko sige kuhiton sa akong misis. Unsay akong himoon?
Ned: Ka ok ra ana pre! Unsa may problema nimo?
Joe: Hadlok ko, tulo na cya ka tuig namatay

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Happy · « **Reply #52 on:** October 04, 2007, 10:53:08 PM »

Overnight inaral ng amo ni Inday ang dictionary para may pangtapat na siya kay Inday. Amo: So, Inday, tell me, how do you accept the fact that you are just a mere chambermaid in this extravagant mansion? Inday: Una camarera? Eres tan pathetic. La unica razon que inscribi tu casa es porque nada esta sucediendo dentro de tu casa cuasi-agradable. Quisiera traer una poca clase en este hogar pero conjeturo que no puedo porque esta casa es fea. Amo: Nosebleed

nakak nosebleed talaga kay wala jud ko kasabot hahaha

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hazel · « **Reply #53 on:** October 05, 2007, 02:12:15 AM »

nakasabot ko gamay...

lorenzo, help!!!

bantay ka mag nosebleed ka...heheheheh

"A chambermaid? You're so pathetic. The only reason I came into this house was because nothing was happening here."

I sort of understand the first three sentences but the last one evades me. I tried to get contextual clues from the last sentence but I only got "your house is ugly."

Sa kakanosebleed niya, dapat lumayas na ang amo sa bahay niya.

ikaw pud, mag nosebleed kay wala ma tarong ug interpret.

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Barbaro · « **Reply #54 on:** October 07, 2007, 10:03:43 AM »

Nanay: Bogo jud kayo ka oi! 1-10 dili ka ka ihap ug tiwas!
Anak: Mas bogo si Tatay nay..
Nanay: Kay ngano man aber?
Anak: Ako cya nadungan kausa nga ni ingon cya " Di na ko day kutob ra
tulo ako ma kaya!"

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Happy · « **Reply #55 on:** October 09, 2007, 04:39:42 AM »

bwahahaha

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Barbaro · « **Reply #56 on:** October 09, 2007, 07:15:41 AM »

Man1: Away kami ni misis, nag-Historical siya
Man2: Pare baka ang ibig mo sabihin ay nag-Hysterical
Man1: Hinde, historical kasi inungkat lahat ng kasalanan ko!"

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Happy · « **Reply #57 on:** October 10, 2007, 12:36:44 AM »

hahaha

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Barbaro · « **Reply #58 on:** October 15, 2007, 12:25:09 PM »

Titser;Unsa my gilihi sa imo nga puti man ka kaayo? BATA;butong mam.. Titser;nganong flat man imong ilong? Bata; makalagot man c mama oy,giapil man ang palwa:"

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lumine · « **Reply #59 on:** October 15, 2007, 05:22:23 PM »

hahaha! ikaw, barbs, kamata na lang noon ako lil boss.

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Barbaro · « **Reply #60 on:** October 16, 2007, 04:26:19 PM »

Bana: Kuyaw kaayo ang akoa damgo love! Gibitay ko sa pangpang! Kupot ra ko sa sagbot!
Asawa: bu**** ka! Mao diayng pwerteng sakita sa ako bulbol kay imo gibirabira!

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Barbaro · « **Reply #61 on:** October 17, 2007, 01:27:59 PM »

Traffic cop examining license of Tikya:

CITOM: Mao ni tunay nga retrato, claro ang mga kunot. Di pareho anang ubang babaye ga paritoke.
Tikya: Bugalbogalon. Ako man nang thumbmark.

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ms da binsi · « **Reply #62 on:** October 18, 2007, 07:31:42 AM »

hahaha! ikaw, barbs, kamata na lang noon ako lil boss.

Lumine mokatawa gani ka sampongi imong baba sa unlan para di kamata si lil boss...

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Glen · « **Reply #63 on:** October 18, 2007, 01:17:55 PM »

Lumine mokatawa gani ka sampongi imong baba sa unlan para di kamata si lil boss...

Mao pod na dire nag kaliga jod me akung amiga taga Bacolod sige siya katawa dile na kaginhawa nangayo na og Efficasent oil kay sa sobrang katawa niya gipanuhot unya nagka otot otot..Moot lagi.

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Happy · « **Reply #64 on:** October 18, 2007, 06:04:50 PM »

Bana: Kuyaw kaayo ang akoa damgo love! Gibitay ko sa pangpang! Kupot ra ko sa sagbot!
Asawa: bu**** ka! Mao diayng pwerteng sakita sa ako bulbol kay imo gibirabira!

Hahaha labong guro kaayo

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Barbaro · « **Reply #65 on:** October 20, 2007, 07:34:07 PM »

Nagpa-blood test si Tulume.
Kumuha ng sample ang nars. Pagkatapos, walang
makitang bulak ang nars sinipsip ng nars ang daliri
ni Tulume. Naligayahan si Tulume kaya sinabihan
niya ang nars, "Magpapa-urine test din ako!"

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Glen · « **Reply #66 on:** October 21, 2007, 11:12:50 AM »

[/quote]
Unsa pod nga klase nga Nurse nga mosopsop man og dugo. Unja og naay aids si Tulumi da ka ubo ang nurse.

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Happy · « **Reply #67 on:** October 21, 2007, 08:47:29 PM »

Hahaha ma upatme jud na si tulume kadugayan hehe

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Barbaro · « **Reply #68 on:** October 29, 2007, 03:36:09 PM »

PERFECT HEAVEN: Having American salary,
British home, German car, Chinese food, and Pinoy wife!

PERFECT HELL: Having Korean car, British wife,
German food, American home and Pinoy salary!

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Glen · « **Reply #69 on:** October 30, 2007, 11:20:35 AM »

PERFECT HEAVEN: Having American salary,
British home, German car, Chinese food, and Pinoy wife!

PERFECT HELL: Having Korean car, British wife,
German food, American home and Pinoy salary!

Pila kaha ang Pinoy salary?

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lumine · « **Reply #70 on:** November 01, 2007, 07:06:44 PM »

Lumine mokatawa gani ka sampongi imong baba sa unlan para di kamata si lil boss...

lay unlan ms da bins kay dili naman nako tigdala laptop sa amo bedroom kay lisod mag tb gatakilid while padede,hehe! poor yaya!

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Barbaro · « **Reply #71 on:** November 07, 2007, 05:18:56 PM »

Stewardess: Do you want a drink, sir?
Sir: What are my choices?
Stewardess: Yes or No.

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ms da binsi · « **Reply #72 on:** November 07, 2007, 11:58:41 PM »

wahahahaahhahhha

I want some YESss hahahahhah

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Barbaro · « **Reply #73 on:** November 10, 2007, 02:59:29 AM »

Gustong malaman ng magkaibigan kung may basketbolan sa langit.
Nagkasundo sila na kung sino ang unang mamatay ay babalik upang sabihinkung may basketbol sa langit.
Naunang namatay si Dado.
Isang gabi, may narinig na boses si Rodel na parang kay Dado.
"Ikaw ba 'yan, Dado?" usisa ni Rodel.
"Oo naman!" tugon ni Dado."Parang hindi totoo!" bulalas ni Rodel."
O, ano, meron bang basketbol sa langit?"
Sagot ni Dado, "May maganda at masama akong balita sa 'yo.Ang maganda, may basketbol doon.
Ang masama... kasali ka sa makakalaban namin bukas!"

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ms da binsi · « **Reply #74 on:** November 10, 2007, 03:08:27 AM »

Gustong malaman ng magkaibigan kung may basketbolan sa langit.
Nagkasundo sila na kung sino ang unang mamatay ay babalik upang sabihinkung may basketbol sa langit.
Naunang namatay si Dado.
Isang gabi, may narinig na boses si Rodel na parang kay Dado.
"Ikaw ba 'yan, Dado?" usisa ni Rodel.
"Oo naman!" tugon ni Dado."Parang hindi totoo!" bulalas ni Rodel."
O, ano, meron bang basketbol sa langit?"
Sagot ni Dado, "May maganda at masama akong balita sa 'yo.Ang maganda, may basketbol doon.
Ang masama... kasali ka sa makakalaban namin bukas!"

Dado: Yoko nga, kayo na lang!

hahahahhah

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Glen · « **Reply #75 on:** November 10, 2007, 05:54:19 AM »

Na sila ray paadto-a didto,
walay mooban ana og ma uhon.

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Barbaro · « **Reply #76 on:** November 12, 2007, 08:26:45 AM »

Son: Tay kasab-an ko ako maestro ganina!
Tatay: Ha! Ngano man?
Son: Ako gi kiss-san ako seatmate ganina!
Tatay: tong anak ko, liwat jud nako dah! He,he,he nya lami bah?
Son: Opo tay, gwapo kaayo siya!

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Happy · « **Reply #77 on:** November 16, 2007, 06:00:20 AM »

hahaha b***t diay

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mawjood · « **Reply #78 on:** November 16, 2007, 12:17:24 PM »

hahaha b***t diay

ANAK: Umiiyak, Nay pasayloa ko, buntis ko karon
NANAY:Hilom, ayaw pag binuang diha, dili ko gusto makadungog ana
ANAK: Tinood lagi Nay, ikaw pa lang ang akong gitug anan
NANAY: Pag dili ka mo undang ug bagulbol, puspusan ka nako ug binugha, hala
layas pagdaro na didto Pedro kay udto na.

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Sigbin II · « **Reply #79 on:** November 16, 2007, 08:07:21 PM »

ANAK: Umiiyak, Nay pasayloa ko, buntis ko karon
NANAY:Hilom, ayaw pag binuang diha, dili ko gusto makadungog ana
ANAK: Tinood lagi Nay, ikaw pa lang ang akong gitug anan
NANAY: Pag dili ka mo undang ug bagulbol, puspusan ka nako ug binugha, hala
layas pagdaro na didto Pedro kay udto na.

I remember that the alternative ending to this one was: Pangilo na diha!

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Author Topic: Text Jokes (Read 31431 times)

hazel

hazel