Daily Bible Verse

Provided by Christianity.com Bible Search

CLICK THE IMAGE BELOW for ALL YOUR TRAVEL NEEDS
trip travel coupon discounts

Author Topic: Pesky Squirrels  (Read 1363 times)

chicogon

  • >
  • SUPREME COURT
  • GURU
  • *****
  • Posts: 12292
    • View Profile
    • The Mark of Priestly Bliss
Pesky Squirrels
« on: March 22, 2010, 06:32:45 AM »
There were five houses of religion in a small town:  the Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church, the Catholic Church and the Jewish Synagogue.

Each church and Synagogue was overrun with pesky squirrels.

One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

In the Baptist Church meanwhile the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.

The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not
in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

The Catholic Church on the other hand came up with a very good and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they see them only on Christmas , Ash Wednesday, Palm Sunday and Easter.

Not much was heard about the Jewish Synagogue, but there was a rumor that they took one squirrel and had a short ritual with him called “circumcision” and they haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.



Linkback: https://tubagbohol.mikeligalig.com/index.php?topic=26324.0
Wine does not make you FAT... it makes you LEAN.

(LEAN gainst tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.)

> Join World's Fastest Cloud Hosting Server

CLICK THE IMAGE BELOW for ALL YOUR TRAVEL NEEDS
trip travel coupon discounts

hubag bohol

  • AMBASSADOR
  • THE SOURCE
  • *****
  • Posts: 89964
  • "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool...
    • View Profile
Re: Pesky Squirrels
« Reply #1 on: March 22, 2010, 09:32:01 AM »

A more brutal version of the joke is as follows:


A Priest, a Pentecostal Preacher and a Rabbi would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the "experience".

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to
find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone
oratory he claimed, " WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle.  We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the time praising Jesus."

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.

Rabbi Lipschitz looks up and struggles to speak to the others. "Looking back on it, I should not have started with the circumcision part..."


Bwahaha. Patay kang rabbi ka! ;D

Linkback: https://tubagbohol.mikeligalig.com/index.php?topic=26324.0
...than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

Book your travel tickets anywhere in the world, go to www.12go.co

chicogon

  • >
  • SUPREME COURT
  • GURU
  • *****
  • Posts: 12292
    • View Profile
    • The Mark of Priestly Bliss
Re: Pesky Squirrels
« Reply #2 on: March 22, 2010, 10:48:30 AM »
Kung tungaw tulion ok ra... pero kung bear o di ba whale di nata pasalig ana Hubs, bwahahaha!!!  ;D

Linkback: https://tubagbohol.mikeligalig.com/index.php?topic=26324.0
Wine does not make you FAT... it makes you LEAN.

(LEAN gainst tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.)

> Join World's Fastest Cloud Hosting Server

CLICK THE IMAGE BELOW for ALL YOUR TRAVEL NEEDS
trip travel coupon discounts

Chongki

  • EXPERT
  • ***
  • Posts: 3456
    • View Profile
Re: Pesky Squirrels
« Reply #3 on: March 22, 2010, 12:13:51 PM »

fdaray

  • LUMINARY
  • ***
  • Posts: 5036
  • In my twilight days..... I shine still shine..
    • View Profile
Re: Pesky Squirrels
« Reply #4 on: March 22, 2010, 12:47:38 PM »
Chicogon...........,  nahiabot man ta sa tuli. Pilay edad ni Abraham when he was circumcised?

Linkback: https://tubagbohol.mikeligalig.com/index.php?topic=26324.0
Life is what you make.
Kon naa kay gisoksok, naa kay makuot.

http://feldarblogspotcom.blogspot.com/
http://darayagrifacts.blogspot.com/

chicogon

  • >
  • SUPREME COURT
  • GURU
  • *****
  • Posts: 12292
    • View Profile
    • The Mark of Priestly Bliss
Re: Pesky Squirrels
« Reply #5 on: March 22, 2010, 02:50:34 PM »
Chicogon...........,  nahiabot man ta sa tuli. Pilay edad ni Abraham when he was circumcised?

Ambot. Akong ge rambol ija ngan, "mahaba" Ra jud akong nasuta bahin niya bwahahaha....

Linkback: https://tubagbohol.mikeligalig.com/index.php?topic=26324.0
Wine does not make you FAT... it makes you LEAN.

(LEAN gainst tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.)

> Join World's Fastest Cloud Hosting Server

CLICK THE IMAGE BELOW for ALL YOUR TRAVEL NEEDS
trip travel coupon discounts

Tags:
 

CLICK THE IMAGE BELOW for ALL YOUR TRAVEL NEEDS
trip travel coupon discounts