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jorgeanna

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jokes for this month
« on: April 01, 2013, 11:01:13 AM »
Nung nasa taxi ang lalake, nakita nya ang misis nya na pumasok sa hotel at me kasamang iba kya kinausap agad ang driver

lalake : gusto mo ba agad kumita ng P2000?

taxi driver : (excited) sige !! ano gagawin ko boss?

Pumasok ka dun sa hotel na yun, ilabas mo ang asawa ko, eto ang picture nya

Ilang sandali pa, lumabas na ang taxi driver na may hila hilang babae. sinisipa at sinusuntok, pinasok sa taxi.

lalake : hindi ito ang misis ko ah !

taxi driver : hindi nga, akin yan. hawakan mo sya para sakin, babalik pa ko dun para sa mrs. mo


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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #1 on: April 02, 2013, 11:03:36 PM »
Duha ka irong bu**** nag-istoryahana­y:

*Iro 1*: Brad, tinuod ba nga ang laway nato naa’y RABIES ug makamatay?

*Iro 2:* O, ngano diay? Unsa’y problema?

*Iro 1:* Natulon man gud nako. Nakulbaan ko. (^_^)

Nyahahahahaha..­.pastilan...



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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #2 on: April 02, 2013, 11:04:25 PM »
Dato: naa qoi 2 ka helicopter, 3 ka awto, 4 ka mansion og 3 ka umahan,,.
Ikaw unsa mn imong ikapanghinambog­?!

Pobre: naa qoi Anak nga bUntis og ang imOng anak ang amAhan.

hahahah fastilan!



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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #3 on: April 02, 2013, 11:05:19 PM »
"Sa bunyag . .."

Pari: Unsa'y ngalan sa bata?
Pedro: "Surf", Padre.
Pari: Dili pwede kay ngalan na sa sabon!
Pedro: Pwede oi kay ako asawa ang ngalan kay Perla man!
Pari: Hala cge 'nya unsa man ibindita nato ani, Downy or Zonrox?

ha, ha, ha...


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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #4 on: April 02, 2013, 11:07:07 PM »
Asawa:sino c trixie sa buhay mo?

Bana:babe,hwag kng magagalit pangalan yan ng kabayong pinustahan ko

Asawa:ganun ba..oh!sagutin mo yung telepono tumawag yung kabayo...

Hahahaha...


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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #5 on: April 02, 2013, 11:08:11 PM »
Little conversation...­.

Bf:babe,san ka?
Gf:eto nasa park,nakaupo,ik­aw?
Bf:eto nanonood ng love story
Gf:tlga?ang sweet nmn...san ka nanonood?
Bf:sa park,pinapanood­ kita habang may kayakap kng iba....

Ooouuccchhhh...­.sakit nmn.....



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BolBuhol

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #6 on: April 02, 2013, 11:10:59 PM »
ERAP @ GRADE 1
Sa grade 1 pa si Erap, nakigkomparar siya sa iyang mga classmates kung kinsay mas dako og pikoy.  Iyang na-obserbahan nga mas dako iyaha kay sa uban.  Pag-abot niya sa ilang bay, iyang gipangutana iyang amahan.
 
Erap: Pa, akong gikomparar akong pikoy sa akong mga classmates.  Mas dako kaayo akoa.  Kaliwat na nato nga dagko ?
Amahan: Dili, Dong.  Mas dako ka! Kay 21 anyos ka na man gud!


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BolBuhol

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #7 on: April 02, 2013, 11:39:25 PM »
HARANA
Kulas: Nganong nabukol man na imong ulo, Bay?
Badoy: Nangharana man gud ko gabii didto sa ilang Marilou, Bay Kulas. Pagsugod nako'g kanta, giitsahan dayon ko ni Marilou ug buwak.
Kulas: Pero nganong nabukol man ka?
Badoy: Ang buwak gisud man gud ug kaang.

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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #8 on: April 04, 2013, 12:00:11 AM »
Ang bana ni tok tok sa pulthan,,,,,,,,­,,,,,,,,
Mr: Love abot naku! Ablihing pultahan,,,
Mrs: Dili ko....! Wala koy gisuot,,,,naghu­bo ko........
Mr: Ok rah........wala­ bitaw koy kuyog,,,,,,,,,,­,
Mrs: Ikaw wala! Ako naa!........
Butangeeee!



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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #9 on: April 04, 2013, 12:02:30 AM »
bana: love, promise sugod karon di na tika luiban. ako nang biyaan ang akong kabit

asawa: wow, tenk you love, ako sad promise, ang sunod natong anak, ikaw nay amahan. promise jud!

Wahahahaha...pa­ktay ka diha...


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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #10 on: April 04, 2013, 12:03:37 AM »
Tatay: mag aral kang mabuti, exam nyo na bukas, kapag bumagsak ka, kalimutan m nang ako ang iyong ama.

Anak: opo tay!

(Kinabukasan)

Tatay: Oh ano , anak, kamusta exam nyo? Pasado ka ba?

Anak: Hu u???


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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #11 on: April 04, 2013, 12:05:19 AM »
Si juan ni adto sa Mcdo ug unya.......

Juan:i'll have large fries coke and a burger

Cashier:for dine in or take out

Juan:no for pedro...

Wahahahaha...ha­laka diha.....nyahah­aha


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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #12 on: April 04, 2013, 12:06:58 AM »
Nanay:nak wala ba ka mauwaw cge kog panilhig ikaw pud cge hugaw hugaw

Anak:nanay baya,asa may mas uwaw nay na akoy manilhig ikay maoy mag duwa....

Hahahahaha...ba­sag....



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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #13 on: April 04, 2013, 12:08:16 AM »
PARI: Gigukod ko ug babae nga gahubo Bishop,sus, nidagan jud ko ug nitago! Ikaw Bishop kung gukdon ka
ug babae nga gahubo unsa man imong buhaton?!

BISHOP: Aw, pareha nimo MAMAKAK! :P


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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #14 on: April 04, 2013, 12:13:48 AM »
BF: Bakit ka nanginginig?

GF: Sorry babe, ngayon lang ako nakapasok sa motel.

BF: San kaya yung remote ng aircon?

GF: Dyan nakatago sa gilid ng drawer bandang kanan kulay gray.


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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #15 on: April 04, 2013, 12:15:40 AM »
Pambansang IBON.

Titser: class ano ang pambansang IBON?

Student: CHICKEN

Titser: hindi kulay Brown

Student: FRIED CHICKEN

Titser: hindi rin mas.maliit sa chicken.

STudent: ma'am
KNORR CHICKEN CUBES.



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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #16 on: April 04, 2013, 12:20:23 AM »
Si Juan nag-treat ng fil-am friend niyang si Peter sa isang mamahalin na restaurant.

Waiter: Sir, what would you like to have?
Peter: Swiss steak and French Fries.
Waiter:What about you sir?
Juan: Ganun din! Sweepstakes yung first prize.


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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #17 on: April 05, 2013, 02:40:03 PM »
Anak: Tay, akong mga klasmet nasero sa test ganiha?
Tatay: Unya ikaw anak?
Anak: Aw, palupig ba god ko. Sero pod!


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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #18 on: April 05, 2013, 02:43:01 PM »
Bata: Ayoooo..pautanga ko ug 3 ka itlog
Tindera: Ilista ni?
Bata: Naa ra nimu ug imo bang e drawing...


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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #19 on: April 05, 2013, 02:44:40 PM »
hahaha! disappear man ani ang akong duka.

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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #20 on: April 05, 2013, 02:44:54 PM »
Nanay: hoy Juan! si Maria maoy asawaha kay daku na sila ug KALUBIHAN!
Juan: Nanay pod uy! say pagtuo nimu sa akong nawong KAGURAN?


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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #21 on: April 05, 2013, 02:47:35 PM »
Doctor..Oh kumusta kana Pedro?
Pedro..Ok naman po Dok..
Doctor..Sinunod mo ba yung payo ko na buksan mga bintana kapag matutulog?
Pedro..Opo naman Dok..
Doctor..Eh di nawala na ang hika mo ngayon?
Pedro..Ang hika ko di nawala Dok,pero ang Laptop,Celphone,at dvd player ko ayun nawala lahat kaya bayaran mo yun Dok..

HAHAHAHAHA...


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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #22 on: April 05, 2013, 02:48:15 PM »
Host: What "S" (Sampaguita) is the national
flower of the Philippines?
Contestant: Sunflower?
Host: Hindi. Binebenta ito sa kalye.
Contestant: Stor k?
Host: Hindi. Bulaklak sabi eh.
Contestant: Sitsarong bulaklak?
Host: Hindi pa rin.It ends with a letter "A".
Contestant: Sitsarong bulaklak na may suka?
Host: Oh, para madali, uulitin ko ang clues
at dadagdagan ko pa! Anong pangalan ng
bulaklak na nagsisimula sa "S", nagtatapos
sa letrang "A", at kapangalan ng isang sikat
na singer?
Contestant: Si...Sharon Cuneta!


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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #23 on: April 05, 2013, 02:49:04 PM »
Sa Max's Restaurant:

Waiter: Ano po order nyo ma'am?

Amo: Yung whole roasted chicken meal nalang. Kaw inday? Ano order mo?

Maid: I would like to partake of a dish that is sauteed pork and chicken boiled and thick essence of soy sauce and vegies, like carrots, cauliflower and baguio beans sprinkled generously with fine spices and spring onion generous helping of root crop and rice.

Waiter: Ha??

Amo: Chopseuy daw.. Daghanag bitsin aron mamatay na ning animal!


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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #24 on: April 05, 2013, 02:49:55 PM »
May isang lalaking nakabukas ang zipper. Nakita ng isang babae.

Babae: Manong nakabukas yung barangay hall niyo.
Lalaki: (Sinara ang zipper) Nakita mo bang lumabas si kapitan?
Babae: Hindi po. parang maliit na kagawad lang nakita ko

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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #25 on: April 05, 2013, 02:52:12 PM »
Teacher: A verb s an action word. Juan, giv me an example of a verb.
Juan: went ma'am
Teacher: Very good! Use it in a sentence.
Juan: JESSA GO WENT TO TOWN.
Teacher: WRONG! kung mogamit kag go wala nay went!
Juan: Ma'am kanang go, apilido man na ni jessa. sabta ang sentence ma'am eyes on the board ma'am!


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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #26 on: April 05, 2013, 02:53:25 PM »
sa isang grade 4 class:

teacher: "anong bansa ang susunod sa USA?"

taasan ng kamay ang mga estudyante, maliban kay Juan

teacher: "Juan! alam mo ba ang sagot?"

Juan: "eh mam....hmmm....USB?"


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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #27 on: April 05, 2013, 02:54:39 PM »
Attorney : idescribe mo sa korte ang taong nang hold-up sayo ..
.
.
Biktima : maitim, panot, tigyawatin, pandak, at bungal po ..
.
.
Suspek : sige mamintas ka pa ! PERFECT ka ? PERFECT ? kapal naman nito ! Aamin naman, idedescribe pa ng bonggang bongga ! Ganda mo teh ! Gawin ko kayang MURDER ang kaso ko ?


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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #28 on: April 07, 2013, 05:44:56 PM »
Sad St0ry:

A biker st0p at a pretty girl wh0's ab0ut t0 jump at the bridge.

Biker: miss please d0n't d0 that. Plz!

Girl: i will jump!

Biker: can y0u give me a 0ne final kiss bef0re y0u jump?

She quietly accepted and gave him 0ne 0f a deepest kisses ever.

Biker: W0w! That was the best kisz I ever had! So why are y0u c0mmitting suicide?

Girl: because my parents d0n't lie me dressing up like a girl. By the way, I'm D0d0ng!

^_^


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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #29 on: April 11, 2013, 10:10:14 AM »
Teacher: Class if basura ko asa man ko ninyo ilabay, nabubulok o di nabubulok?
Dingdong: ai sa di nabubulok ma’am.
Teacher: ngano man?
Dingdong: ai, alang kay plastic man ka ma’am.


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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #30 on: April 11, 2013, 10:11:29 AM »
Sa Math Class..
Teacher: kung naa koy 1 ka piraso nga karne ug tungaon nako, pila na ka piraso?
Juan: 2 mam!
Teacher: at kung tungaon pa nko preho?
Juan: 4 na mam!
Teacher: tungaon pjud nko?
Juan: 8 na mam!
Teacher:Tungaon pjud nko?
Juan: 16 na mam!
Teacher: 2ngaon pjud nko?
Juan:32 na mam!
Teacher: kung 2ngaon pjud?
Juan: 64! (suko na)
Teacher: ug tungaon pjud ug kduha?
Juan: Ipagaling na lang na mam ky malangan natah...



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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #31 on: April 11, 2013, 10:12:52 AM »
Sa isang contest, interview portion
Ano ga2win mo pg gumising ka na may ktabing $1M?...
KANO: go on a world tour
HAPON: put up a bizniz
PINOY: 2log napud para mahimong $2M!!!hehehe


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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #32 on: April 11, 2013, 10:14:12 AM »
May panget na lalake na humiling sa fairy.
FAIRY: anu kahilingan mu?
PANGET: my map ako d2 ng US, dalhin mu ko dun para makita ang babae ng buhay ko.
FAIRY: di pwede dong, dito lang sa pinas pwede powers ko!
PANGET: maging mortal na babae ka na lang at pkasalan mo ko!
FAIRY: patan.aw rah gud anang litse na mapa b, bcin mapangitaan nato'g paagi!
haha..


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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #33 on: April 11, 2013, 10:14:40 AM »
Sa isang Korte
Judge: Pedro, unsa man jud ang nahitabo?
Pedro: (wala ni tingog)
Judge: tubaga ang question!
Pedro: ingon hearing lang ni!
Ngano naay Speaking?


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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #34 on: April 11, 2013, 10:15:56 AM »
Kerido: Babe, ano nem ko sa celpon mo para d ta masakpan sa imo bana?
Kerida: Mc Donald
Kerido: Ngano man?
Kerida: Love ko to! ako langga? ano nem ko sa celpon mo?
Kerido: BDO
Kerida: Ngano man kana gipili nmo?
Kerido: We Find Ways!


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jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #35 on: April 11, 2013, 10:17:10 AM »
Mama: Nak, nganung ngkabulingit man ka?
Anak: kabantay ka anang kanal dri ma?
Mama: Oo nak, kbantay ko. Nganu man?
Anak: ako wla.


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a marriage can never be perfect.. but the love can be!

jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #36 on: April 11, 2013, 10:17:42 AM »
Boy; hulog ka ba ng langit?
Girl: asus..saba diha! karaan na kau ng linyaha..
Boy: kay nalumping man gud imong nawong. haha..



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a marriage can never be perfect.. but the love can be!

jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #37 on: April 26, 2013, 12:09:48 AM »
Petra: Buwagan nako akong bana!
Takya: Why man?
Petra: Nakadaug siyag free trip to Hongkong for 2..
Takya: Unya?
Petra: Ang amaw nilargag kaduha. Wa jud ko paubana!


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a marriage can never be perfect.. but the love can be!

jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #38 on: April 26, 2013, 12:10:05 AM »
Wife: Lab, may taning na ang buhay ko. Huling gabi ko
na to, let's make love.
Husband: Heh! tumigil ka nga. maaga pa akong gigising
bukas, buti ikaw hindi na.


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a marriage can never be perfect.. but the love can be!

jorgeanna

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Re: jokes for this month
« Reply #39 on: April 26, 2013, 12:10:21 AM »
Applicant: Mag-apply sana kong seaman.

Kapitan: Marunong ka bang lumangoy?

Applicant: Hindi eh..

Kapitan: Eh di ka pwede..

Applicant: Bakit? Yung piloto ba marunong lumipad?


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a marriage can never be perfect.. but the love can be!
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