THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
"VIRGINITY is not DIGNITY. It's just a lack of opportunity! "
- by William Sexfear .
Sex is like a restaurant. Sometimes you get full satisfactory
service, and sometimes you have to be satisfied with self-service.
Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section.
A boss interviewed four (4) girls for secretary ...
He asked each one of the four this question: A lady has two mouths.
What is the difference between the two mouths?
1st girl: One can talk and the other cannot talk.
2nd girl: One is vertical and the other is horizontal.
3rd girl: Only one is hairy.
4th girl: Upper one is for my use and the lower is for my boss.
THE 4th GIRL WAS HIRED!!
SA BOTICA
CUSTOMER: (pabulong) 'Day, isang condom nga ..
SALESLADY: Sayz Sir!
CUSTOMER: (nahiya) Small lang .. hehehe ..
SALESLADY: Hende Sir, saiz pisos ang isa!
TANONG: Paano mo sasabihin sa isang babae na sobrang mataba siya ng
hindi siya mababastos?
SAGOT: Ganito -- "Uhmm, excuse me Miss .. Mang Tomas ba ang lotion
mo?"
Woman complaining to dentist: "It's so painful, I'd rather have a
baby than have a tooth removed.
Dentist: "Make up your mind, I'll adjust the chair accordingly. ."
Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her tombstone to read:
BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
The engraver shortened it to: "RETURNED UNOPENED"
Two gays were looking at Travel Brochures at a Travel Agency.
One of them said: "Let's try Greece this year."
The other answered: "Why? What's wrong with Vaseline?"
MISIS: Inday, napansin ko ang barong ni Sir mo, lagi na lang may lipstik!
MAID: Opo nga Mam, mukhang niloloko na TAYO ni Sir ah!
TATAY: "Pesteng buhay toh!
merong kaldero, walang biGAS!
merong lampara, walang GAS!
merong gripo, walang aGAS!
dagdagan pa ng asawang walang huGAS huGAS!
paano pa titiGAS?"
A young man ask an old man, "Sir, what is retirement?"
Old man: "Retirement is when you are replaced by a computer at work
and a vibrator at home."
MISTER: (naglalambing, kissing wife's shoulder) Hon, sigi naaaa ....
MISIS: (naiirita) Bumabagyo!
MISTER: Ayaw mo yun, eh malamig? Sigii naaa ...
MISIS: Ano ka ba, tanga? Di ka na nahiya! Ang daming tao dito sa
evacuation center!
A farmer went to the river and saw five (5) nude girls swimming.
The girls protested, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
Farmer: "It's ok, I'm here to feed the crocodiles!"
AMERICAN ENGLISH:
Eat All You Can, don't be shy, feel at home!
IN TAGALOG: kain lang kayo ng kain, walanghiya kayo, pakiramdam nyo bahay nyo
to!
ENRIQUE ZOBEL: half Filipino half Spanish.
HENRY SY: half Filipino half Chinese.
JUAN FLAVIER: half Filipino half Igorot.
RAUL ROCO: half Hawaiian half Polo.
JOHN OSMENA: half Filipino half Filipina.
MIKE ARROYO: half Filipino half Pork.
AI AI DELAS ALAS: half Filipino half Moon.
GMA: half...
HEADLINE:
"Dalawang lola nag jogging sa plaza ginahasa!"
Kinabukasan. ..
Plaza nagkagulo!
Nagtrapik!
Libu-libong lola nag jo-jogging!
MAID: Ma'm, ni-rape ako ng magnanakaw kagabi.
MADAM: Bakit di ka sumigaw?
MAID: Eh.. akala ko po si Sir, pero nung makadalawa .. Nagduda na
ako!
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