Boyfriend to Girlfriend, may LQ: What do you take me for?! Granted?
Guard, answering the telephone: Hello?... Ah yes, for a while. Please hang yourself.
Starlet in an interview: If the odds are against me, then I will against them.
Inday Badiday asks a starlet about her mother's burial:
Inday: Kumusta ang libing ng nanay mo?
Starlet: Successful naman po.
Army officer to cadet: "Do you know why I ask you to stand?" "No, sir." "Ok, why?"
Teacher to students: Baka gusto nyong ibilad ko kayo sa covered courts.
Teacher: Class, I want you to watch sex scenes (sixth sense).
Class: What?! Teacher?
Teacher: What's wrong? It's a beautiful film starring Bros Welles (Bruce Willis)
Class: Aah, Sixth Sense!
Sa isang examination:
Student: Mam, pwedeng gumamit ng liquid paper?
Teacher: Ang kulit naman! Sinabi nang pad paper lang eh.
After the examination:
Teacher: Okey, time is up. One, two, three. Come your papers to me!
A reporter interviews a politician about the Philippine economy.
Politician says: Talagang mahirap ang buhay natin ngayon. Pero slow by slow, we will success.
Teacher: Sorry, class. I'm late. My mother died three years ago. And now she's dead.
Heard in a fastfood chain:
Yaya: Ma'm, gusto po ni Mark ng KIDNEY MEAL!
Teacher: What is your name?
Student: Dell.
Teacher: What is your old? (what she meant is how old are you?)
In a restaurant:
Waiter: Sir, How do you want your egg?
Customer: Side in, side out.
Mom interviews her daughter's suitor:
Mom: What's your course?
Suitor: Geo po (for geology).
Mom: Ahhh... Geo-rnalism. Ok yan.
Guy to Girl: I love you. This is not a ball. ("Hindi ito bola" in English)
Teacher to students: Okay, form two straight circles and find your height alphabetically!
Teacher to students: Okay class, it's time to go home. Form a line and pass out slowly.
Angry teacher to student: I want you to bring your father and your mother, especially your parents, understood?! Bring them tomorrow in front of me, right
here, right now!
Emcee, in a party: The next song is the favorite song of my best friend, and neither do I!
Posted in an establishment: None ID, nothing entry.
Teacher: Oy, magdala kayo ng chip ahoy ha.
Student: Miss may "s" yon...
Teacher: A, sorry. Chip ahoys!
Two lousy-in-english friends talking to each other:
Friend 1: Am I raining outside?
Friend 2: Not yet. Sprinkle only.
In an awards night, presentor goes: And the winner for Best Comedy Show is Okay Ka, Pare Ko! of IBS channel 13.
Alma Moreno, in her show introduces Nora Aunor who comes in late:
Finally, please welcome, the late Nora Aunor.
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