Entrance Exam to Heaven

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Entrance Exam to Heaven
« on: November 02, 2007, 11:37:47 AM »
I was taking my Philosophy midterm and this was one of the passages on there  ;D

For all those who need a good laugh :)


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The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.

He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

Saint Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance exam for everyone. The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven."

Forrest responds, "It shore is good to be here, Saint Peter. I was looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about no entrance exams Shore hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."

Saint Peter goes on, "Yes, I know Forrest. But, the test I have has only two questions. Here is the first: What days of the week begin with the letter 'T'? Second, how many seconds are there in a year?

Forrest goes away to think the questions over. He returns the next day and goes up to Saint Peter to try to answer the exam questions.

Saint Peter waves him up and asks, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forrest says, "Well, the first one, how many days of the week begin with the letter 'T'? Shucks, that one's easy; that'd be Today and Tomorrow.

The saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaims, "Forrest! That's not what I was thinking, but... you do have a point though, and I guess I didn't specify, so I give you credit for that answer." "How about the next one?" says Saint Peter, "How many seconds in a year?"

"Now that one's harder," says Forrest. "But, I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve."

Astounded, Saint Peter says, "Twelve! Twelve! Forrest, how could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

Forrest says, "Shucks, there gotta be twelve: January second, February second, March second......."

"Hold it," interrupts Saint Peter. "I see where you're going with it. And I guess I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind. I'll give you credit for that one too. Come on in."

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hahaha

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ms da binsi

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Re: Entrance Exam to Heaven
« Reply #1 on: November 02, 2007, 01:06:37 PM »
wahahahahahahha

Smiffy good job!!!

for sure i have to go back to earth if that will happen...

unsaon naman lang? ug gi cremate na ko ???

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orChids

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Re: Entrance Exam to Heaven
« Reply #2 on: November 02, 2007, 01:11:57 PM »
hahahaha nice one..keep on posting pa ha?,......thankful jod ko ninyo kay nawala akong kamingaw ug kalaay...Sus kung ako ang namatay unya pangutan-on ko,I will ask St. Peter nga ipabalik ko sa kalibutan kay akong pangutan-on pa akong maestro sa una..o di ba patawagon ba ko niya sa akong life line..hahaha

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ms da binsi

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Re: Entrance Exam to Heaven
« Reply #3 on: November 02, 2007, 01:13:25 PM »
hahahahahhaha

pwerte gyud ka wise si Forrest...

ma millionaire pa gyud ka ug ahat ana Aya! kay gamit man lifeline...


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Re: Entrance Exam to Heaven
« Reply #4 on: November 02, 2007, 06:43:55 PM »

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orChids

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Re: Entrance Exam to Heaven
« Reply #5 on: November 02, 2007, 08:12:13 PM »
hahahahahhaha

pwerte gyud ka wise si Forrest...

ma millionaire pa gyud ka ug ahat ana Aya! kay gamit man lifeline...

hahahaha funny man ka uy ms da binsi......unsaon ko man nang mga millions nga patay na man ko?
hinuon kung pwede pa ko mo-ask nga pa pa hawiron pa ko ug pen para maka sign nga para sa akong mga loveones ang tanan ok lang..huh!..waaaaaaaaaaaa can I...can I..pleaseeeee..

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grazie7y

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Re: Entrance Exam to Heaven
« Reply #6 on: November 03, 2007, 03:16:43 AM »
wahahahahahahha

Smiffy good job!!!

for sure i have to go back to earth if that will happen...

unsaon naman lang? ug gi cremate na ko ???

mag maninglish ko here coz my baby cousin called me and she said, there were people reacting to my share of joke but i don't understand. so she hired me as the interpretter!

Babe, the last like of ms. da binsi's lmessage is: what is she gonna do if she was cremated!  (no reklamo peeps, i did a short cut translation!)

hahahahah That's hilarious, da binsi oi!  I guess you'll be the dust in the freeway slapped by fast moving vehicles! hahahahah 

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grazie7y

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Re: Entrance Exam to Heaven
« Reply #7 on: November 03, 2007, 03:25:54 AM »
hahahaha nice one..keep on posting pa ha?,......thankful jod ko ninyo kay nawala akong kamingaw ug kalaay...Sus kung ako ang namatay unya pangutan-on ko,I will ask St. Peter nga ipabalik ko sa kalibutan kay akong pangutan-on pa akong maestro sa una..o di ba patawagon ba ko niya sa akong life line..hahaha

Babe, I think you understand half of what Orchids is saying here. 

Half of what I think you don't understand is that she is saying that if she dies, she will ask St. Peter to send her back to Earth so she can ask her teacher  the answers or St. Peter can give her go signal to call her lifeline!  (Call a friend!) hahahaha

Kapoy nko Babe, we'll just talk over the phone na lang diay! heheheh

Awaaaa, Bebe!

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Happy

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Re: Entrance Exam to Heaven
« Reply #8 on: November 03, 2007, 11:12:34 PM »
Hahahaha funny lol, wanna share this with other friends ;D

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Re: Entrance Exam to Heaven
« Reply #9 on: November 03, 2007, 11:34:09 PM »
wahahahahahahha

Smiffy good job!!!

for sure i have to go back to earth if that will happen...

unsaon naman lang? ug gi cremate na ko ???

Ms Da Binsi, you never cease to inspire me...ha..ha.. permi lang gyod ko ngisi basta magbasa na sa Tb labi na gyod sa imo mga comments.

Pwede na unta ka day mag artista...

malupigan nimo si Pokwang ug Ai Ai...:-))

Bitaw siguro kon ako pay giask adto ni st peter na mangutana sako kon naa ba siya ay computer kay ako sa isearch ang tubag Bohol para ask ko inyo tulong. ha..ha..

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ms da binsi

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Re: Entrance Exam to Heaven
« Reply #10 on: November 03, 2007, 11:36:15 PM »
hahahhahahhahahha  ikaw si Pokwang!!! hahahhahhaahha

katawa pod ko nimo igata ka!

ngita gyud computer sa langit?

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Bambi

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Re: Entrance Exam to Heaven
« Reply #11 on: November 03, 2007, 11:48:01 PM »
I am just confused about the subject....which kind of examination? If you will be founded still virgin?...."you will get a nicklace kanang "Gituhog nga itlogs nga ta-as kaajo unja magsagujod pa gjod?"  :-\ :'( and you must have to go around praying the Holy rosary sus, OMG!

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ms da binsi

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Re: Entrance Exam to Heaven
« Reply #12 on: November 03, 2007, 11:49:07 PM »
Bayat, i could die for that!!!

hahahhahhah


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Re: Entrance Exam to Heaven
« Reply #13 on: November 03, 2007, 11:59:17 PM »
Bayat, and you will secure two of those, right??....or otherwise the heaven's gate guard will send you back and will tell you -you are more than as qualified do come back again with all those who are guilty of losing it....na, my dear gwapoha siguro ang magsakay ug usa ka trak? ;D ;D ;D lol  Ma-ibog gjod ko oi!  :'(

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Re: Entrance Exam to Heaven
« Reply #14 on: November 04, 2007, 05:37:44 AM »
hahahhahahhahahha  ikaw si Pokwang!!! hahahhahhaahha

katawa pod ko nimo igata ka!

ngita gyud computer sa langit?

Bitaw no? Naa ba kaha pod ay Internet didto?:-))

Speaking of Pokwang...naa baya siya ay duha ka igsoon dia dire sa Sweden. Pulos sab mga joker.
Pulos na sila member sa FGCA.

Naa gani sab si Pokwang member.

Na hala ipadayon ang examination sa langit...mangita sa ta calculator.:-))



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asianfairy

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Re: Entrance Exam to Heaven
« Reply #15 on: November 04, 2007, 05:39:26 AM »
Bayat, and you will secure two of those, right??....or otherwise the heaven's gate guard will send you back and will tell you -you are more than as qualified do come back again with all those who are guilty of losing it....na, my dear gwapoha siguro ang magsakay ug usa ka trak? ;D ;D ;D lol  Ma-ibog gjod ko oi!  :'(

Bams...maayo pod ka ba... sigi sab ko katawa...
na unsaon nalang kon virgin pa..:-))

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