Author Topic: dyok dyok dyok  (Read 48908 times)

mistyeyed

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #40 on: June 15, 2009, 02:09:44 PM »
ANAK: Nay,, nag tambling tambling gud mi sa skul ganina...

NANAY: Di ba ingon man ko ayaw pag tambling tambling kay makita imong panty?

ANAK: Gisulod man nako sa Bag ako panty Nay...



Whhaha.Naa man koy nahinumdoman ani oi nga way panty.Ni syaget kay gipaak ug amigas.Wa diay ga panty. ;D ;D ;D

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Barbaro

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #41 on: August 02, 2009, 12:39:41 AM »
wen people hurt u, consider dem as a
sandpapr! they may rub & scratch u
painfully but eventually..
kw ang mosinaw ug sila ang maopaw!..hahaha

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mistyeyed

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #42 on: August 02, 2009, 02:20:08 PM »
wen people hurt u, consider dem as a
sandpapr! they may rub & scratch u
painfully but eventually..
kw ang mosinaw ug sila ang maopaw!..hahaha







Nice joke..uplifting nga maka ngisi kag daku.. ;D ;D

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Barbaro

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #43 on: August 16, 2009, 07:36:55 PM »
Girlfriend: Ihi sa ko
Boyfriend: Diha na lang sa daplin. Ngitngit bitaw
Samtang nangihi, gihikap sa BF ang legs sa GF ug naay nagunitan
Boyfriend: Hala, nagpasex change ka?
Girlfriend: Amaw! Nagchange na akong mind! Nalibang na lang ko imbis nga mangihi lang

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #44 on: August 16, 2009, 07:45:38 PM »
Girlfriend: Ihi sa ko
Boyfriend: Diha na lang sa daplin. Ngitngit bitaw
Samtang nangihi, gihikap sa BF ang legs sa GF ug naay nagunitan
Boyfriend: Hala, nagpasex change ka?
Girlfriend: Amaw! Nagchange na akong mind! Nalibang na lang ko imbis nga mangihi lang


Waaaahhhhhh......kabaho ba adto.

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mistyeyed

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #45 on: August 16, 2009, 07:47:29 PM »
Basin nakahikam sa etats noh..ehh,,

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glacier_71

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #46 on: August 19, 2009, 08:34:26 AM »
Girlfriend: Ihi sa ko
Boyfriend: Diha na lang sa daplin. Ngitngit bitaw
Samtang nangihi, gihikap sa BF ang legs sa GF ug naay nagunitan
Boyfriend: Hala, nagpasex change ka?
Girlfriend: Amaw! Nagchange na akong mind! Nalibang na lang ko imbis nga mangihi lang

patay! TUBOL. nakakaon tingalig bayabas si GF. hehe

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statesville

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #47 on: August 19, 2009, 09:17:09 AM »
Every Christian has GPS -God-Provided Salvation!
It may not guide you to everywhere you want to go in this world, but it will ensure  that you arrive safely in heaven.

fdaray

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #48 on: August 19, 2009, 04:07:48 PM »

          ho....      ho.... ho..... one ...two   ...three....


       

                    he....he    ...he .... hi.....hi.....hi......hi...

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fdaray

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #49 on: August 19, 2009, 04:22:30 PM »
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/SQghI7NOb9c&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param>

mangatawa ta........ ha...ha....ha...

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mike

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #50 on: August 19, 2009, 04:26:57 PM »
Agay ajo kay wala gi pislit kay ug gipislilt pa haskang kahumot...lami to kay init-init pa.

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hofelina

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #51 on: August 19, 2009, 05:44:33 PM »


 

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

 

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

 

DESPERATION:   
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

 

THE EYES: 
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

 

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

 

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

 
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

 

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

 

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

 

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

 

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

 

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

 

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

 


AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:


MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER


   





 

 

 



 


 



 

 



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glacier_71

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #52 on: August 19, 2009, 08:43:58 PM »

 

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

 

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

 

DESPERATION:   
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

 

THE EYES: 
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

 

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

 

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

 
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

 

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

 

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

 

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

 

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

 

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

 

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

 


AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:


MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER


   





 

 

 



 


 



 

 



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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the bEST, manay. hahahahah




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janjan

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #53 on: August 19, 2009, 10:18:31 PM »

 

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

 

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

 

DESPERATION:   
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

 

THE EYES: 
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

 

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

 

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

 
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

 

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

 

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

 

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

 

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

 

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

 

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

 


AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:


MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER


   





 

 

 



 


 



 

 



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Share your memories online with anyone you want anyone you want. =



love it

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glacier_71

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #54 on: August 25, 2009, 08:39:07 AM »
The teacher asked little Johnny to use the word " definitely " in a sentence.

Little Johnny replies, "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?"

The Teacher says, "Of course not Johnny,"

To which Johnny replies, "Then I have definitely s**t my pants".

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hofelina

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #55 on: August 25, 2009, 02:38:37 PM »
Pinoy Bersyon

Here's for you....

This is for all the Filipinos out there, and those who are lucky enough to have Filipino friends, those who have Filipino spouses and those who have Filipino next door neighbors.

The story goes like this:

An elderly Foreigner lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite food, Filipino Lumpia.   
 
Gathering his remaining strength, he lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, grippin g the railing with both hands he crawled to the kitchen.
 
With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven. For there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite food, LUMPIA!!

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted Filipino wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
 
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture&his parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the lumpia was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life.

The aged and withered hand trembled on to a lumpia, when he was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.

 "Git out op here!" she shouted. "dis are por your puneral!!!"




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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #56 on: August 26, 2009, 12:44:24 AM »
 :D
Nah, wala pa gani namatay, gaandam nag
       mga pagkaon sa mobilar..hahahaha!

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fdaray

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #57 on: August 28, 2009, 07:54:43 AM »
Ha................ha......................ha....ha...

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lindy

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #58 on: August 28, 2009, 08:59:04 AM »
dako siguro ug inssurance tong tawhana kay giandaman man gyud sa asawa. at mga tawo dili moingon ug palomaloma ug kamatay wala man lang bisa biscuits ug tubig. haayyy life murag kinabuhi.

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #59 on: September 09, 2009, 10:15:40 PM »
Isang araw, nag-uusap yung dalawang mag-kaibigan, si Joey at si Mark.

Joey: Alam mo, Mark, talagang napaka-bobo ng boy naming si Pedro.
Mark: Wala iyan! Sinisiguro ko sa iyo, mas bobo yung boy naming si Jose.

Nag-talo silang dalawa....
Joey: O sige, patutunayan ko sa iyo a. Watch this! PEDRO, 'ALIKA RITO!
Pedro: Yes sir! What can I do to you?
Joey: Eto piso, bumili ka ng apat na case ng beer.
Pedro: Yes boss! Coming up!
Joey: O Mark, bilib ka na ba sa kabobohan niyan, piso--bibila siya ng apat na case ng beer.
Mark: Wala pa rin iyan kay Jose, ikaw naman ang manood....JOSE, 'ALIKA RITO SANDALI!
Jose: Yes Sir! Ano po iyon!?
Mark: Pumunta ka sa opisina ko, tignan mo kung nandoon ako....
Jose: Yes Sir! Pupunta na po ako!
Mark: O Joey, kita mo naman na mas bobo pa iyan kaysa kay Pedro....

Later, nag salubong yung dalawang boy.....
Pedro: Jose, alam mo ang bobo talaga ng amo kong si Sir Joey....
Jose: Wala iyan....mas bobo si Boss Mark ko.
Pedro: Hinde! Mas bobo si Sir Joey, isipin mo, binigyan ako ng piso para bumili ako ng APAT na case ng beer......e, alam naman niyang HINDI KO KAYA BUHATIN IYON NANG MAG-ISA!!!!!!!
Jose: Mas bobo naman si Boss Mark noh! Pinapupunta pa ako sa opisina niya para tignan kung nadoon siye....e, MAY TELEPONO NAMAN!  



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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #60 on: September 09, 2009, 10:52:29 PM »
Artificial Intelligence is nothing in comparison to Natural Stupidity.

janjan

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #61 on: September 10, 2009, 08:31:13 AM »
a smile is something we all own,but very few share it with others

statesville

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #62 on: September 10, 2009, 11:21:41 AM »
mao nay gitawag ug "teamwork" ug pangutok, ahahahaha :D

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #63 on: September 19, 2009, 01:22:13 PM »
Anak:  (Misinggit) "Mahhhhhhhhh, gi dugo na ko!!!!!!!!!
Mama: Basin nasamad lang ka?...
Anak : Gi dugo na lagi ko Ma, murag brown.
Mama : Aber tan-awon nato.....ahhhhh che..che..che......hala hugasi na didto...naka-igit kang bayota ka....

Nyahahah...


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mistyeyed

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #64 on: September 19, 2009, 03:47:31 PM »
Whahahaha.Ambot jud nimo b***t pagka OE. ;D

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #65 on: September 23, 2009, 02:11:54 PM »
KANO: (gisumbag ang pinoy ug nahayang) Take it easy men, take it easy!

PINOY: (mibakod ug mibalos. Nahayang ang kano) Kisikisi men! Kisikisi!

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #66 on: September 23, 2009, 02:13:29 PM »
Lola: Honey, nabantayan jud nako bah nga kung mangape ta, mag-init dayon akong lawas.

Lolo: Nganong dili manginit, tan-awa ra gud na imong totoy, natuslob na sa kape!

;D ;D

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #67 on: September 23, 2009, 02:15:14 PM »
Titser: Class, what are the different colors of bananas?

Juan: Mam, green, yellow, red, and brown.

Titser: Juan, naa bay brown nga saging?

Juan: Ang linung-ag diay maam piki na!?

Ambot...;D

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #68 on: September 23, 2009, 02:31:42 PM »
GOOD EVENING LADIES
Buta nisakay ug taxi

Driver:  Kahibalo ka sa direction nga buta ka man?

Buta:  Ayawg kabalaka katoltol ko.  Nakahibalo ko nga naa na ta sa Guadalupe kay naninimaho nang mangga.

Driver:  Sakto ka.  Katoltol gyud diay ka.

Buta:  Karon naa na ta sa may simbahan kay nanimaho nang kandila.

Driver:  Sakto gihapon ka.

(Paglabay nila sa tindahan ug bulad.)

Buta:  Good evening! ladies.


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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #69 on: September 23, 2009, 02:34:30 PM »
TAGALOG I

Maestra: Class, our lesson for today is Tagalog. Juan, use "ng" in a sentence. Gamitin ang salitang "ng" sa wastong pangungusap.

Juan: Maayong gabii, Nang.



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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #70 on: September 23, 2009, 02:58:47 PM »
Mga Pinoy, Intsek ug Hapon sa Saudi nag pustahay kon kinsa ang maka pronawns sa pulong nga "Bulaklak at Paroparo".

Ang mga Pinoy mipusta ug dako Sa ilang paisano.

Intsek: "Bulaklak at Palopalo", ang intsek pildi kay dili maka pronawns ug litra nga "R".

Hapon: "Burakrak at Paruparu", ang hapon pildi kay dili makalitok ug litra nga "L".

Pinoy: "Buyakyak at Payopayo", labaw pang napildi, kay taga Surigao man diay ang kontestant.



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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #71 on: September 23, 2009, 03:00:37 PM »
Gputlan ni Juan ug usa ka tiil ang langaw.....

Juan: Lupad! ....Nilupad ang langaw....
Giputol niya tanan tiil....
Juan: Lupad!! ....Nilupad ang langaw....
Giputol nya ang Pako...
Juan: Lupad! Lupad!!! Lupaaaaad!!! ....Wala nakalupad ang langaw.....
Juan: I, therefore conclude, nga ang langaw basta putlan og Pako.. MABUNGOL...

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #72 on: September 23, 2009, 03:07:55 PM »
Usa ka adlaw naay bus driver nga gi pakyaw sa mga tiguwang. Sa biyahe gi kuhit siya sa tiguwang nga ga lingkod sa iyang likod ug gi tunolan ug usa ka kum-kum nga mani.Nag pasalamat ang driver kay gi gutom napud intawon ug gi kaun ang mani


Pag labay sa 15 minutos gi kuhit napud siya sa tiguwang ug gitunol ang ug usa ka kum-kum nga mani.... taga 15 minutos tunolan gyud siya ug mani ug iya pung gi kaun. Tunolan napud unta siya sa tiguwang ug siya miingon,

Driver: nang kamo nlay kaun anang inyong mani sagdi nalang ko...

Tiguwang: di na man gud mi ka usap kay wa na mi ngipon

Driver: unya nganong namalit man mo ana?

Tiguwang: Ay sus hinatag man na sa akong anak nga M&Ms, ang chocolate ray amo makaon .... [ Nakaluwa sa windshield ang driver ]

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #73 on: September 23, 2009, 07:49:34 PM »
Gputlan ni Juan ug usa ka tiil ang langaw.....

Juan: Lupad! ....Nilupad ang langaw....
Giputol niya tanan tiil....
Juan: Lupad!! ....Nilupad ang langaw....
Giputol nya ang Pako...
Juan: Lupad! Lupad!!! Lupaaaaad!!! ....Wala nakalupad ang langaw.....
Juan: I, therefore conclude, nga ang langaw basta putlan og Pako.. MABUNGOL...



Wha wha wha wha... ;D ;D

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #74 on: September 23, 2009, 10:08:27 PM »
 ;D na gitamuyan diay sa tiguwang ang  mani kay
     chocolate ray ila gusto, uy ang laway maoy
     nahabilin ato diay, hahahahah

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #75 on: September 23, 2009, 10:31:21 PM »
Gputlan ni Juan ug usa ka tiil ang langaw.....

Juan: Lupad! ....Nilupad ang langaw....
Giputol niya tanan tiil....
Juan: Lupad!! ....Nilupad ang langaw....
Giputol nya ang Pako...
Juan: Lupad! Lupad!!! Lupaaaaad!!! ....Wala nakalupad ang langaw.....
Juan: I, therefore conclude, nga ang langaw basta putlan og Pako.. MABUNGOL...

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #76 on: September 24, 2009, 10:21:22 AM »
Teacher: Juan I translate ni sa Inglis akong tanang isulti.

Juan: Sigurado maam, ako pa si Juan.

Teacher: Sa dihang ninglabay ko ako kang gikamay pero niukuk ka kay ang adlaw diay hapon na.

Juan: When I pass by I sugar you but you cockroach me because the sun is already Japanese....

;D ;D

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #77 on: September 24, 2009, 10:26:27 AM »
LABA

teacher: unsay past tense sa laba?

berto: naglaba m'am!

teacher: ang present tense?

pedro: naglalaba maam!

teacher: korek! ang future tense?

juan: MANGHAYHAY!

;D Dagan na Juan...

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #78 on: September 24, 2009, 10:28:01 AM »
sulat nga pobrehanon:


dear tay,

padad-i ko ug brief kay akong mga brief mag buho na.


ang 2bag:

anak,

agwantahi lang usa kay ako gani, garter nlang!


;D ;D ;D

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Re: dyok dyok dyok
« Reply #79 on: September 24, 2009, 10:51:59 AM »
sulat nga pobrehanon:


dear tay,

padad-i ko ug brief kay akong mga brief mag buho na.


ang 2bag:

anak,

agwantahi lang usa kay ako gani, garter nlang!


;D ;D ;D

hahahahah, lupig pa ang T-bak, anak, niining akong gisoot karon.

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