13 Steps to Forgiving the Unforgivable

Lorenzo · August 19, 2012, 10:02:47 PM

1. Understand that forgiveness is not: Justifying, understanding, or explaining why the person acted toward you as he or she did. Just forgetting about the offense and trusting time to take care of it. Asking God to forgive the person who hurt you. Asking God to forgive you for being angry or resentful against the person who offended you. Denying that you were really hurt; after all there are others who have suffered more.

Lorenzo · August 19, 2012, 10:03:13 PM

2. Understand that it is often unwise to forgive face to face. This tends to make the other person feel "put down" and make you look holier-than-thou.

Lorenzo · August 19, 2012, 10:03:29 PM

3. Select a time and place when you can be alone for a season of time.

Lorenzo · August 19, 2012, 10:03:42 PM

4. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to bring to your mind all the people you need to forgive and the events you need to forgive them for.

Lorenzo · August 19, 2012, 10:03:57 PM

5. Make a list of everything the Holy Spirit brings to your mind, even if it seems trivial to you. (Do not rush through this step: allow the Holy Spirit all the time He needs to speak to you.)

Lorenzo · August 19, 2012, 10:04:13 PM

6. Take two chairs and arrange them facing each other. Seat yourself in one of the chairs.

Lorenzo · August 19, 2012, 10:04:27 PM

7. Imagine that the first person on your list is sitting in the other chair. Disclose everything you can remember that the person has done to hurt you. Do not hold back the tears or the emotions that accompany the confessions.

Lorenzo · August 19, 2012, 10:04:45 PM

8. Choose by an act of your will to forgive that person once and for all time. You may not feel like being forgiving. That's all right. Just do it and the feelings will follow. God will take care of that. Do not doubt what you have done is real and valid.

Lorenzo · August 19, 2012, 10:04:57 PM

9. Release the person from the debt you feel is owed you for the offense. Say, "You are free and forgiven."

Lorenzo · August 19, 2012, 10:05:09 PM

10. If the person is still a part of your life, now is a good time to accept the individual without wanting to change aspects of their personality or behavior.

Lorenzo · August 19, 2012, 10:05:24 PM

11. Thank the Lord for using each person as a tool in your life to deepen your insight into His grace and conforming you to the image of His Son.

Lorenzo · August 19, 2012, 10:05:40 PM

12. Pray. This is a suggested prayer to pray as you "talk" to each person: Because I am forgiven and accepted by Christ, I can now forgive and accept you, _____________, unconditionally in Christ. I choose now to forgive you, _____________, no matter what you did to me. I release you from the hurts (take time to name the hurts), and you are no longer accountable to me for them. You are free.

Lorenzo · August 19, 2012, 10:05:58 PM

13. When you have finished praying through the hurts you have suffered, pray this prayer of faith: "Lord Jesus, by faith, I receive Your unconditional love and acceptance in the place of this hurt, and I trust You to meet all my needs, I take authority over the Enemy, and in the name of Jesus, I take back the ground I have allowed Satan to gain in my life because of my attitude toward _____________. Right now I give this ground back to the Lord Jesus Christ to whom it rightfully belongs."