How Much Suffering Causes a 'Broken Heart'?

[slackware]

How Much Suffering Causes a 'Broken Heart'? - Four times less than you think
By: Stefan Anitei, Science Editor - Softpedia




Can you think of some lyrics that are more common than "Don't break my heart" or "Unbreak my heart"? Still, a new research at the Northwestern University reveals that lovers, even when deeply in love, recover much better, almost immediately, following a breakup than they could have thought, experiencing much less distress than they had forecast before the end of the relationship.

Even if love-crazed
subjects predicted a "Romeo and Juliet" drama, the real-life breakups seem to be much less tragic. "Our research shows that a breakup is not nearly as bad as people imagine, and the more you are in love with your partner, the more wrong you are about how upset you are going to be when the dreaded loss actually occurs," said co-author Eli Finkel, assistant professor of psychology in Northwestern’s Weinberg College of Arts and Sciences.

"But the overestimates of the most-in-love participants, of how badly they would feel after a breakup, were much greater than the predictions of participants less in love. Their levels of distress were nowhere near their catastrophic predictions," said lead author Paul Eastwick, a graduate student in psychology at Northwestern.

This confirms previous research showing that people have remarkably poor insight when predicting the level of their distress in the evening of emotional events. When forecasting a breakup, people seem to miss the good outcomes following a breakup, like the benefits of living alone.

Each subject in the research was involved in a dating relationship for over two months. The subjects completed a set of questionnaires twice monthly for 38 weeks, a total of 20 online sessions. The questionnaires assessed predicted and actual stress, and if the subjects were very much in love.

The data came from 26 people (10 female and 16 male) who finished their relationships in the first six months of the study. The predicted distress reported two weeks before the breakup was four points higher than that experienced in the initial weeks and months following the event. "People tend to be pretty resilient, often more so than they realize. No one is saying that breaking up is a good time. It's just that people bounce back sooner than they predict.", Eastwick said.

[pioneer]

Sa Bisaya, gitawag ni ug "nawatas-watas" nga kasing-kasing.

[Bambi]

Oh my God!   my heart brokes if a suffered any kinds of lifes challenge in which very hard to undertake. It was broken when my bf had kissed my
best girlfriend. It was totally broken of  my Father's death. And again, it was almost to break up when my Ma almost to die due to serious illness.
I think..... a heart can take any sufferings but a person broke depends upon how strong is her/her lifes experienced and  psychological maturity is.

[hazel]

Number of years being together multiplied by 2 = years of recovery.

[buenavista]

sakto jud ka haze,Time can heal ra jud

[C2H4]

Not much. I guess nakatabang nga naa ko'y batasan nga dili ko pa alkanse.

When my ex and I broke up (because he cheated on me!), I was inconsolable. I was so distraught that I could not bring myself to eat for 2 days. Then on the 2nd night of tears and wailing, I woke up at 2 am starving. It was then that I said to myself, "ka hayahay ra niya, l-e-c-h-e siya! mao ra'y maka ingon nga mapasmo ko!" Perte gyud nakong panungkab ug bahaw after adto bwahahaha. 

[ms da binsi]

hahahahhahhhahahhhahhahha good girl!!!!!!!!!!!

[buenavista]

hinumdum lang ko sa ako kaagi dah!ingon man gyud niya( my ex) na kung masakpan nako siya sagpaon kuno nako nako siya..susss,sakpan man nasagpaan hinuon..pagkahuman puypoya sako abaga oy!nawala ako kalagot,kay nakabalos man ko..hehehe

[Happy]

ka usa pa ko kasuway nga nasakitan jud ko, sa una, gihilantan ra nuon ko ug usa ka semana kay sige man hilak pero after that, nakamata sa kamatuoran nga dili diay siya angayan hilakan. pero ulahi na kay daghana naman ang mga luha nga nanga-usik

[Bambi]

Nice funny stories Girls!

C2G4 - is now healthy again no more hunger and much in love with another guy. Day, have a break!

Buenavista - getting relieved and now in Karate School for the next man to hit!  Bilib pod ko nimo oi?  Maajo ka wa mobawos?

Happy - after a long time of shouting, crying, getting sick for a week due to  Nakabsan na siya sa Luha.... now, she is always laughing/Happy with us on TB.

[Happy]

Happy - after a long time of shouting, crying, getting sick for a week due to  Nakabsan na siya sa Luha.... now, she is always laughing/Happy with us on TB.

Korek Bambs, alive and kicking always laughing

[Bambi]

I got u girl.  No more pains........if u like to get plenty of tears just click on Barbaro and Gervistil's jokes ok

[Happy]

haha mao jud, joker man sab ni akong bana, sige ra ngisi, no more tears oi, laway nalang mangalagsik ug kinatawa haha

[Bambi]

Na ug mangalagsik nang laway na mapayong na lang aron di ka mahumod...ha?

[Happy]

hahaha,, dili jud pud murag bagyo oist hehe

[buenavista]

Buenavista - getting relieved and now in Karate School for the next man to hit!  Bilib pod ko nimo oi?  Maajo ka wa mobawos?


wala na kabawos kay gitalikdan man dayon ug wala nako pakita hehehe

[hazel]

Gen, bisan pa ka pila ka ka sagpa...di na jud maulian ang kasakit, di ba?

remember: the pain he inflicted you was emotional pero ang balos nimo physical lang, pero I know it still helped!

[asianfairy]

Not much. I guess nakatabang nga naa ko'y batasan nga dili ko pa alkanse.

When my ex and I broke up (because he cheated on me!), I was inconsolable. I was so distraught that I could not bring myself to eat for 2 days. Then on the 2nd night of tears and wailing, I woke up at 2 am starving. It was then that I said to myself, "ka hayahay ra niya, l-e-c-h-e siya! mao ra'y maka ingon nga mapasmo ko!" Perte gyud nakong panungkab ug bahaw after adto bwahahaha. 

C2H4..sakto ka kaayo. Di gyod ta angay paalkanse..

[pioneer]

Not much. I guess nakatabang nga naa ko'y batasan nga dili ko pa alkanse.

When my ex and I broke up (because he cheated on me!), I was inconsolable. I was so distraught that I could not bring myself to eat for 2 days. Then on the 2nd night of tears and wailing, I woke up at 2 am starving. It was then that I said to myself, "ka hayahay ra niya, l-e-c-h-e siya! mao ra'y maka ingon nga mapasmo ko!" Perte gyud nakong panungkab ug bahaw after adto bwahahaha. 

Alang sa mga lalaki: Babaye? Hilakan?

Pakamatyan!!! 

[pioneer]

C2H4..sakto ka kaayo. Di gyod ta angay paalkanse..

Ikaw, asianfairy, pila man gyud ka taro nga luha ang midagayday sa imong mga mata human ang punyal sa pagluib mitaroy sa imong dughan? 

[ms da binsi]

bwahahhahahahahhahahahaahahahahahahha

[C2H4]

Alang sa mga lalaki: Babaye? Hilakan?

Pakamatyan!!! 

Hahaha! Daghan baya mga lalake nga gapakamatay tungod sa gugma 

[ms da binsi]

mas daghan lalaki nag hikog kay sa babaye, ang babaye mopatay man pero ang lalaki, bitay oi!!!

[C2H4]

yeah, ang mga lalake dili kaayo sila kamao mo handle ug heartbreak...

dili pareha nato, we can call our friends and cry our heart out...

pero sila, iluom ra man gud na nila, maong magpakamatay nalang, ma overwhelm sila sa ilang gibati

[ms da binsi]

kitang mga babaye paligsan raman nato ug ma beartbroken ta hahahhahhaha

[slackware]

yeah, ang mga lalake dili kaayo sila kamao mo handle ug heartbreak...

dili pareha nato, we can call our friends and cry our heart out...

pero sila, iluom ra man gud na nila, maong magpakamatay nalang, ma overwhelm sila sa ilang gibati

sez hu? as long as naa pay baligyang alak sa tindahan, yakang yaka ang gugmang giatay!

[Melrose]

ayaw pod mohandis uy.

[pioneer]

ayaw pod mohandis uy.

Na-broken-hearted na ba ka, Melrose?

[jaja]

dili jd lalim...dili ko ganahan mokaun,matulog, mo work....evything wala koy gana.....
mag cge rako ug hinuktok, hilak, hinuktok, hilak......in short, mura ko ug "bu****" !!!

[pioneer]

dili jd lalim...dili ko ganahan mokaun,matulog, mo work....evything wala koy gana.....
mag cge rako ug hinuktok, hilak, hinuktok, hilak......in short, mura ko ug "bu****" !!!

Normal na sya, Ja, because a world within you was taken out. It's like a death of one part of yourself.

[jaja]

Normal na sya, Ja, because a world within you was taken out. It's like a death of one part of yourself.

correct jd ka mike....
very hard to move on..

[Melrose]

aw. o mike uy. kaila ka ato niya. hehehe! hilak pod gamay pero i always have a positive outlook... 'di ba when God closes the door, he opens the window? mao na.

[buenavista]

Gen, bisan pa ka pila ka ka sagpa...di na jud maulian ang kasakit, di ba?

remember: the pain he inflicted you was emotional pero ang balos nimo physical lang, pero I know it still helped!

mao jud haze,pero karon nawala na...

[slackware]

kinalami-an jud e inom ning ma biktima ta sa gugmang giatay! inom na way hubganay!

[hazel]

Normal na sya, Ja, because a world within you was taken out. It's like a death of one part of yourself.

Sakto gyud! Aside sa sakit sa dughan, mag labad pa gyud imong ulo (kay wala nama'y kaon)

[Bambi]

Aching heart due to gugma gi-atay is just like bot-bot ( love is also in related to some bot-bot stories) bot-bot- di ba telling lies, isn't?

And in this connection, feeling hurt due to an in despair love affair is too painful like bot-bot - Almoranas! ( from Hoy, Pinoy'S let's learn Tagalog)  translation from Ginger 

[hazel]

hahaha Bambi, sakit pa tingali sa almoranas!

[ms da binsi]

hehehhehhehhehehhehehehehehehhe ligid2x pod kog katawa diri, kamong mga kagwanga moh!!!

[Bambi]

Good Pretty Lady......just  more it makes you more beautiful (see: PHOTO - Organ spender).....

I am waiting of the cute photo of our little young Chinese beauty.... Ginger and  then mogawas si Lola Bambina....

[Happy]

aw. o mike uy. kaila ka ato niya. hehehe! hilak pod gamay pero i always have a positive outlook... 'di ba when God closes the door, he opens the window? mao na.

Tinuod jud na Melrose..

Ako pagkahuman sa hinalakay, I tell myself, he's not the right one for me

[Ginger]

I came across this thread just in time when I'm mending my heart.

*sigh*

[kiamoy]

move on lage daw pero hallow na na

[Ginger]

move on lage daw pero hallow na na

kung hallow lang ang istoryahan, bem, hagbay ra nahurot. 

[TOPAC]

ang ako kasingkasing napinopino na toa naapil sa panglao nga bonbon..

[janjan]

pulihan gud dajon para wiz na suffering -suffering pa dinha

[glacier_71]

sa akong kasinatian, kada away mi sa akong uyab...sakit. kada sakit...magdugo
gyud akong dughan...daghan nag bandahe ning sa ilawom...

[Lorenzo]

Dudes and Dudettes,

Talking about it with a friend really helps. So helpful, imo.

Buckle down and move past it.

[slackware]

ayaw lang sa ma-BOTENG usapan kay lisud na!

[Moyhua]

Like, sometimes I forget to breath!

[kiamoy]

like padung naka hilak pro pugong kay mag mind set ka nga dili worth..

[glacier_71]

usahay after the heated argument, you thought if the relationship is worth-saving or not. then, i took a deep breath; assessed the situation. i picked up the phone and dialled the number, redialled again, after many tries...it was time to mend the hurt...oh my, oh my.. love hurts, love heals....

[kiamoy]

love is a sweet downfall.

[glacier_71]

pag may pag-ibig, may aray

[Ginger]

usahay after the heated argument, you thought if the relationship is worth-saving or not. then, i took a deep breath; assessed the situation. i picked up the phone and dialled the number, redialled again, after many tries...it was time to mend the hurt...oh my, oh my.. love hurts, love heals....

it's like a sickness that only those who caused the pain have the ability to heal it. murag sila ra sad ang pills. lol!

[glacier_71]

it's like a sickness that only those who caused the pain have the ability to heal it. murag sila ra sad ang pills. lol!

interesting analogy, gingah...korek!

[Ching]

for me it is only time can heal, difficult to forget if your husband dies on your birthday

[grazie7y]

for me it is only time can heal, difficult to forget if your husband dies on your birthday

Hello Ching!  Welcome.

I can't even begin to imagineyour pain. But you are right; time will heal your wound. 

A friend of mine just lost a husband of sudden death.  She was going crazy and was wailing like crazy!  She wanted to kill herself and to her life seems unnecessary without her husband.  It's been almost 3 months now and she is feeling much better though she still talks to the "imaginary husband" that she said is in her house with her.

[Moyhua]

Bitaw noh, og love jud nato ang tawo, makabuang jud hapit!

[glacier_71]

murag naay alien object imong dughang nga gustong mugawas...ihilak na lang!

[TOPAC]

this is because deep in our hearts, we know that we cannot write the fairy tale-like story of our lives on our own... hahay

 

[glacier_71]

suffering has a brother in confusion
suffering breaks a heart
confusion smashes it into pieces...

[Moyhua]

Sa dihang na broken hearted ko sauna, for the first (as I remember) I hugged my parents and I said, "nasakitan ko kay love man nako sya".