Forwarded Jokes

[ms da binsi]

ENRIQUE ZOBEL: half Filipino half Spanish.
HENRY SY: half Filipino half Chinese.
JUAN FLAVIER: half Filipino half Igorot.
RAUL ROCO: half Hawaiian half Polo.
JOHN OSMENA: half Filipino half Filipina.
MIKE ARROYO: half Filipino half Pork.
AI AI DELAS ALAS: half Filipino half Moon.
GMA: half...

[ms da binsi]

TITSER: Ano ang PAST TENSE sa LABA?
BOY#1: Naglaba mam!
TITSER: Tama! Ano ang PRESENT TENSE?
BOY#2: Naglalaba!
TITSER: Tama! Anonaman ang FUTURE TENSE?
BOY#3: MAGSASAMPAY mam!  

[ms da binsi]

AMERICAN ENGLISH:
Eat All You Can,
don't be shy,
feel at home!

IN TAGALOG:
kain lang kayo ng kain,
walanghiya kayo,
pakiramdam nyo bahay nyo to!

[ms da binsi]

ADIK: Doc, grabe yung panaginip ko gabi gabi,
kasi lagi daw ako nanunuod ng basketball.
DOCTOR: sige halika may gamot ako para dyan.
ADIK: Wag muna dok, championship game na mamaya eh!

[Brownman]

nice joke of the day, ms da binsi.

[ms da binsi]

kanindot sa balay!!!!

[Scarb]

REPORTER: Sir, kung wala po kayong evidence, witness or suspect ano na po
> > ang next step ninyo??
> > Police: DNA na...
> > REPORTER: sir, ano po yung DNA
> > Police: "Di Namin Alam "


Polis magbantay sa kalinaw
mean..unya ra motunga ug wla nay gubot

[Brownman]

payag namo ni diri sa bukid ms da binsi, si blue angel d best sad ijang joke tag bantay sa kalinaw,
nice pud!

[bulak]

AMERICAN ENGLISH:
Eat All You Can,
don't be shy,
feel at home!

IN TAGALOG:
kain lang kayo ng kain,
walanghiya kayo,
pakiramdam nyo bahay nyo to!

wahahahaha.........nawagtang man lang akong duka miss da bins....

[mawjood]

Bakla at Macho nagkasabay sa CR...

Bakla: Ang laki naman nyan sayo...

Macho: Wala na tong silbi kasi iniwan na ako ng GF ko... puputulin ko na lang at ipapakain sa aso!

Bakla: aw! aw! aw!

[Scarb]

Bakla at Macho nagkasabay sa CR...

Bakla: Ang laki naman nyan sayo...

Macho: Wala na tong silbi kasi iniwan na ako ng GF ko... puputulin ko na lang at ipapakain sa aso!

Bakla: aw! aw! aw!

hahahaha ang bakla naningkamot para maiyaha ang Macho
pairo-iro pod bow..wow..wow

[orChids]

hahahahaha........ .ayee unsa ba oy..

[hazel]

ADIK: Doc, grabe yung panaginip ko gabi gabi,
kasi lagi daw ako nanunuod ng basketball.
DOCTOR: sige halika may gamot ako para dyan.
ADIK: Wag muna dok, championship game na mamaya eh!

heheheh i remember one of GEC's poetry.

[mawjood]

Biyaya na makukuha sa Gulay:

AMPALAYA, pampapula ng dugo
KALABASA pampalinaw ng mata
TALONG pampatirik ng mata
MANI pampatirik ng TALONG.
Ay! nalito na ako. Sad



  _____



Wife: Dear, ano regalo mo mo sa 25th Anniversary natin?

Husband: Dalhin kita sa Africa...

Wife: Wow! How sweet naman... eh!  sa 50th Anniversary natin?

Husband: Susunduin na kita!

[ms da binsi]

wahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahaha

ligid2x man sad ta katawa anih!!!

maayo nalang ni kalingawan, mawa ang mga depression...

ma psycho pod lagi ang dangatan ani...

tiaw sigi ligid ligid katawa,morag shu-ang!!!

[mawjood]

The Pastor's Ass
   
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.

The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
 
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
 
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
 
The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
 
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
 
The bishop was buried the next day.

 
     
 
     
 
     

[Happy]

ENRIQUE ZOBEL: half Filipino half Spanish.
HENRY SY: half Filipino half Chinese.
JUAN FLAVIER: half Filipino half Igorot.
RAUL ROCO: half Hawaiian half Polo.
JOHN OSMENA: half Filipino half Filipina.
MIKE ARROYO: half Filipino half Pork.
AI AI DELAS ALAS: half Filipino half Moon.
GMA: half...

TITSER: Ano ang PAST TENSE sa LABA?
BOY#1: Naglaba mam!
TITSER: Tama! Ano ang PRESENT TENSE?
BOY#2: Naglalaba!
TITSER: Tama! Anonaman ang FUTURE TENSE?
BOY#3: MAGSASAMPAY mam!  

Wife: Dear, ano regalo mo mo sa 25th Anniversary natin?

Husband: Dalhin kita sa Africa...

Wife: Wow! How sweet naman... eh!  sa 50th Anniversary natin?

Husband: Susunduin na kita!

lingawa nako oi, bahala sige atse katawa lang gihapon

[stardust]

The Pastor's Ass
   
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.

The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
 
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
 
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
 
The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
 
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
 
The bishop was buried the next day.

 
     
 
     
 
     

wahahahaha! mao na lagi na ba!

mawjood! you made my day!:D

[mawjood]

Maayong adlaw, mitanda na pod ko kay way lingaw, bagyo karon.

more jokes:

Dihay usa ka hubog nangihi sa daplin sa kalsada nga nataymingan sa kilat

Sa kakurat nakasinggit ang hubog,

"DIOS KO MALOOY KA KANAKO AYAW INTAWON IPA DEVELOP NA, PISOT PA KO"

[Glen]

Hahahaha ang hubog naka hinomdom pa nga pisot pa siya? kalooy sad ni manoy oy!

[C2H4]

Hehehehe

[mawjood]

English Class, Bawal magtagalog

Teacher: From now on, speak only english

Pedro: ma'am may i go out

Teacher: why?

Pedro: because father, mother me

Teacher: what?

Pedro: (pawisan) TATA, INA, AKO ma'am (natata-e na ako mam)

[ms da binsi]

English Class, Bawal magtagalog

Teacher: From now on, speak only english

Pedro: ma'am may i go out

Teacher: why?

Pedro: because father, mother me

Teacher: what?

Pedro: (pawisan) TATA, INA, AKO ma'am (natata-e na ako mam)

wahahhaha!

mabuang na ko ani!

[grazie7y]

maayo ni si mawjood mo tunga lang ahat dayon pakataw-on ta'g todo! 

[mawjood]

Tindero: Nong, gatas ng baka. P10 piso lang usa ka baso

Manong: Kamahal pod ana Dong, na-a bay tag piso ana

Tindero: Ni-a man pod Nong, pero ikaw nay mo totoy sa baka.

[mawjood]

A Chemistry teacher asked a sexy student, "What are NITRATES?

The student replied shyly, "Ma'am, sa motel po.

NITRATES are higher than day rates!"

[mawjood]

Sa Chemistry Class:

Lito: Pare, unsa may laka-inan sa H2O sa CO2?

Joseph: Sus maryosep, unsa gud ka, wa diay ka kahibaw ana? 

Ang H2O ay HOT water! At ang CO2... COLD water.

[stardust]

English Class, Bawal magtagalog

Teacher: From now on, speak only english

Pedro: ma'am may i go out

Teacher: why?

Pedro: because father, mother me

Teacher: what?

Pedro: (pawisan) TATA, INA, AKO ma'am (natata-e na ako mam)

hahahhaa... matinga man sad ta unsay father mother me hahahha!

[mawjood]

PEPE: Bay Jose, bilib gyud ko sa pamilya ninyo, hilig mokanta ug naa sud sa banyo, unya mga  piskay ug tingog.

JOSE: Kinahanglan gyud bay

PEPE: Ngano man

JOSE: Way trangka among banyo

[mawjood]

Anak: tay nia koy assignment, "find the least common denominator"

Tatay: ha! sa ako pay naa sa elementarya assignment na na namo, wa pa ba diay na makit-i

[mawjood]

TEN HUSBANDS

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin.

What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?

"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from Field Services; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an Engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from Finance and Administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychiatrist; all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was ... God, I miss him!

"But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!" "Good," said the husband, "but, why?" "Duh; you're a LAWYER. This time I KNOW I'm gonna get screwed!"