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1

You're still lucky, though 2 weeks can still be long for others but far,far better than those who only sees each other after every 2 years or worse, 3 or maybe more. Kaya for me, what I bargain to my boss is to allow me to go for a quarterly vacation kahit na walang increase, so that my kids can still remember my face :P

2
Thanks for sharing your inspiring story Kabayan Alice.
 
I don’t see anything wrong with your father's advise/opinion neither your being abroad. It's just that raising a family where the husband or the wife is miles away from their family is difficult. You have the advantage that most OFW's doesn’t have--working abroad and at the same time living with your family. But this opportunity comes only in few pieces and so rare that only a few could have. I understand where your father is coming from because I’m beginning to experience the situation that your father had painted. How easy to measure the benefits of overseas work but I doubt if anyone can ever quantify what has been given up or lost in terms of love.

I just hope that someday, working abroad is just a matter of choice and not the only choice.

3
tama ka dyan kabayan.

kung minsan ang mga kabayan natin kapag nakaranas ng konting ginhawa ay nalilimutan na ang mag "save for the rainy days" at kung minsan, kahit na di naman kalakihan ang kita sa abroad, pag uwi sa Pinas, gastos dito gastos doon kaya akala tuloy ng mga kamag anak ay 'mayaman ang mga OFW.' Meron akong kasamahan sa trabaho, pag uwi sa Cebu, inum-dito, inum doon. Ipinasara pa raw niya ang isang Videoke house para exclusively for him and his drinking mates, hayun after 1 month pa lang, hurot na gihapon kaya pagdating dito sa opisina, utang na naman sa opisina and considering na almost 10 years na sa company, hayun wala pa ring asenso. Kaya nga dapat, habang nasa abroad kailangan may goal setting. Hangangang kailan ka ba dapat magtrabaho ng malayo sa pamilya mo. kasi kung wala tayong objective sa buhay at sige-sige lang, kadalasan yun yung mga inaabutan na ng katandaan sa pag-a-abroad, wala pa rin asenso. Dapat lagi natin isipin na ang trabaho sa ibang bayan ay di dapat maging parte ng long term planning. dapat gamitin lang ito bilang instrumento sa pagahon sa kahirapan at makapag umpisa ng buhay na maayos sa Pilipinas kasama ang pamilya. Dapat tayong mga Pilipino ay baguhin ang mentalidad na sa halip maghanap ng trabaho, dapat gumawa ng trabaho at maging enterpreneur.

4
"Gusto kong sisihin ang Pilipinas dahil napakahirap ng buhay dito. Sa Amerika ba may tatay na nangingibang-bansa para makapagtrabaho lang?" - Luis Iral Galicia

Wala sanang pinoy na napipilitang umalis ng bansa para maghanap-buhay kung mayroon sanang maayos na polisiya sa pagtataguyod at pagpapasigla ng business opportunities sa Pilipinas. Sa mga nagdaang gobyerno, wala akong makita na plataporma na inilatag para kung hindi man wakasan ang forced migration ng mga pinoy or at least mabawasan bagkus, ay umaayuda pa sa mass exodus ng pinoy dahil ito na lang ang last saving grace ng ekonomiya ng pilipinas. Para bagang sinasabi na, "sige mga OFW, kailangan ninyong mag abroad dahil kailangan ng bayan ang remittance ninyo. At kami sa gobyerno, sasakay na lang sa epekto ng patuloy na paglago ng buwanang remittance para kredito sa epekto kunwari ng masaganang ekonomiya ng bansa" Kung sasabihin na magtiis kaming mga OFW, matagal ng nagtitiis ang mga pinoy na parang kahalintulad ng mga "prostitute" sa brothel na walang magawa kung hindi mag paubaya sa mga nakapilang parukyano hangang sa ang iba ay inabot na ang kamatayan. Kinakailangan ba na sapitin ng bawat OFW ang kamatayan para mapatunayan ang pinoy resiliency? Sabagay, bagong bayani daw kami pero anong epekto ng pagiging bayani mo kung ang pamilya mo ang nasakripisyo. Basahin ang kalakip na istorya sa ibaba.

http://www.gmanews.tv/story/165443/ang-tatay-kong-ofw

5
http://www.boholchronicle.com/2010/jun/20/comm2.htm[/url]..Never say bahala ug saging gikaon basta loving..hehe

Kabayan, you exactly missed the point. never in my post could you find anything that will say or advocate that its ok to to stay to where one's family is even to the point of living a miserable life. i suggest that you read my post toroughly before you conclude your statement.

While it is true that there are successful stories of pinoy migration (and i must say that i belong to this small statistics) but have you tried to established how many stories belong to the "not so good ending?" Hindi na tayo kailangang lumayo kaibigan at basahin mo na lang ang laman ng pahayagan araw-araw.

No one doubts the resiliency of Filipinos especially OFWs. Hindi matatawaran ang pagtitiis ng mga migranteng Pinoy kahit na anong hirap ang danasin sa ibang bansa. Subalit sigurado ako, kung tatanungin mo ang bawat isa sa amin, kung may pagkakataon na maghanapbuhay sa sariling bayan, kundi man lahat, marahil higit sa nakararami sa amin na sasabihin sa iyo na mas gugustuhin  pa rin namin magtrabaho sa sariling bayan kung may pagkakataon at opportunidad (at hindi makuntento lamang sa pagkain ng saging). Iyan KABAYAN, ang ibig sabihin o ang buod na aking post na sana mainitindihan mo ng lubusan ng sa gayon ay hindi ka makapagbigay ng inconclusive na statement.

6

There are always 2 sides of the coin. In the case of going abroad, I wouldn't be surprised if our vision is biased always on the side of the economics lest we forget the immeasurable losses of migration, and I already mentioned that in my previous post above. And really the road to hell is paved with good intentions and I know all of us will definetly agree that no Pinoy diaspora leaves our country without good intentions but we cannot have the best of both worlds, happiness and prosperity. It's just a matter of one weighing one's priority. Life's happiness is not always about on the side of prosperity but prosperity can sometimes be a result of happiness. You can be prosperous in a sense that you are surrounded by people you loved and people who loved you in return but can't be happy even we have the finest things in the world. While it is true that we must allow our children to make decision for themselves but as parents, it is our obligation to present clearly the scenarios, the pros and the cons, the left and the right so that they will be guided in their decision. But if we will have it our way as parents, we would want them to follow the "tried and tested" formula we developed all throughout the years of our existense. But at the ned of the day, it is them (children) who will still decide what road they want to travel.

7

Kabayan, kahit anong tatag ng personality ng isang tao at iba pa kung walang pananalig sa Panginoon Diyos ay walang patutunguhan mabuti, kay nasa abroad ka o maging sa sariling bansa. Ang pagiging sentimental ay di sukatan ng kahinaan ng isang tao ganun din naman ang pagkakaroon ng strong na personality ay di rin pamantayan ng kalakasan ng tao bagkus, ang pananalig sa Diyos na siyang pinagmumulan na katatagan at tagumpay sa buhay. Kung minsan ang sobrang kompiyansa sa sarili ang nagiging dahilan ng kapahamakan. Mapalad ang mga tao na umaamin ng kahinaan at umaasa ng kalakasan sa Panginoon sa[agkat nasa kanila ang habag ng Paginoon kaysa sa mga taong nananalig sa sariling lakas, talino at abilidad.

8
The link below mirrors one of the reasons why I say what i wnat to say to my son. This time, I'm expressing my self as a son to my father. This is for all of you fellow OFWs in our endless struggle to provide a better means for our family and to all the fathers as well, this is for all of us.

http://www.gmanews.tv/story/193314/hampas-ng-pagmamahal-ni-itay#

9

Mabuti naman malaman anak at maayos ang buhay mo sa Pinas,ANAK ;)

10
As the saying goes: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Going abroad to work will definitely put money in one's bank account enough to live a little comfortable life—that if he/she knows how to handle it, perhaps that would probably explains why majority of OFW's are still working abroad despite being abroad for more than 10 years or so.

My intention of asking my son not go abroad is clear (if ever he has a choice, and this is not an order but a counsel from a father who had experienced being a diaspora). Ofcourse, this is given the fact that in worst case, he couldn't find a decent job in the Philippines and there is a ways and means for him to find good one outside of the country though away from his family, I think the decision is very clear. But if he has a choice, I want him to weigh the consequences, the pros and the cons of being away from his family.

There is nothing bad in our intention to give our family comforts in life and that is the reason why most of us went abroad (like me till now) but there should be a fixed plan for us to achieve our goal. The irony is that most of us doesn't even have that goal and we end up growing older and still working away from family. I even read sad stories where OFW parent finally met his family in wheel chair as an invalid human being while others are-- in a casket. Who want's to end our life like that? Anyone?

That is why my advise to my son is that, if he has a choice, why not let try his luck in the Philippines? Living expenses may be tough, but with patience, perseverance, hard-work and focus, life here couldn’t all be that bad. He may not make a fortune but he can be creative to make ends meet, just so he and his family can have a life together. The long and short of it is he has to make a hard choice—and it should not be on the side of glitter.

"Life satisfaction should not be measured not by gross domestic product, but by gross national happiness." --King of Bhutan

11
Son, you are in your 2nd year of being a college student. Dalawang taon  na lang magtatapos ka na sa kolehiyo at sana kapag dumating ang panahon na iyon, kung may choice ka, huwag kang mag-abroad.

Marahil marami ang magtataas ng kilay o di kaya’y magtatanong ng “Bakit?” kapag nalaman nila na ganito ang payo ko sa iyo. Sabagay marami pa rin sa mga kababayan natin na ang paniniwala ay ‘mayaman ang mga OFW’, ‘masarap ang buhay sa abroad’ o kaya’s sikat ka kapag may kamag anak ka sa abroad. Siyempre naman, halos puro imported ang gamit sa bahay, ‘stateside’ wika nga. Pero ang hindi nila alam ay kung ano ba ang kapalit ng mga materyal na kasaganahan ito.

Karamihan sa mga magulang na nagtratrabaho sa abroad ay hindi maikaila ang ‘sense of loss’ na kung minsan ay may pagsisisi dahil sa hindi nakagisnang paglaki ng mga anak na naiwan sa Pilipinas. I grope for words to describe the passing of an era which part of my life have been sacrificed. Mula ng ako’y nagtrabaho sa abroad, I have looked at you and to other siblings of yours wishing that I could see all of you to grow into fine human beings wishing that I was there every step of your way. Pero ang reyalidad, hindi kasi malayo ako sa inyo. Nagkakasya na lang ako sa pagsasaya ng mag isa na malayo sa inyo sa panahon ng inyong kagalakan and perhaps bled profusely in my own when I know that one of you is in pain. Lagi ko kayong naaalala when I visit a nice place or eat an unusually fine meal kasi ang lagi kong sinasabi, “Sana kasama ko ang pamilya ko.” I worry for your safety and I cannot imagine not being able to recognize you and your other siblings in your mature years. Naalala ko tuloy minsan ng tanungin ko si mommy mo kung sino yung binata na nasa picture na ipinadala niya sa email ko. Sabi ni mommy mo, “Ano ka ba Dad, si Glenn yan, panganay mo!”

Sa panahon ngayon ng ‘absentee parenting’, the communication of love has taken the form of steady stream of ‘balik-bayan box’ every Christmas. Pero sa kabila ng dami ng reagalong natatangap, this however cannot compensate for the erosion of intimacy in the family. How easy to measure the benefits from overseas work but remain doubtful if one can ever quantify what a migrating parent has given up in terms of love. Kaya anak, if ever may choice ka after your graduation at kung makakahanap ka ng trabaho sa Pilipinas, kahit hnidi kalakihan ang sweldo basta disente at marangal, huwag kang mag-abroad. Diyan ka na lang sa Pilipinas kasi balang araw magkakaroon ka na rin ng sarili mong pamilya, mas masarap na abutin ang pangrap ninyo sa buhay ng magkakasama.
 


12

It's my honor to be here Brod. thanks

13
Family & Parenting / Re: Love and Marriage
« on: March 17, 2010, 09:09:26 PM »

hmmm... pwede:-)

14
Jokes and Humor / Re: The Last Hour
« on: March 06, 2010, 09:48:59 PM »
none of the above., hahahaha

15
Bible Study / Knowing Your True North
« on: March 03, 2010, 08:28:51 PM »
Would anyone believe if I were to take yellow pages, open it up and proclaim that this book will tell us who has a red car. You will probably say, “That’s not the purpose of the yellow page. Its purpose is simply to reveal name and number of people.” Only by understanding its purpose can I accurately use the yellow page in the same way only by understanding its purpose can I accurately use the Bible.

The problem is not that God hasn’t spoken but that we haven’t listened. Understanding the purpose of the Bible is like setting the compass in the right direction to know your true north. Calibrate it correctly and you’ll have a safe journey. But fail to set it and who knows where you will end up.

16
Family & Parenting / Re: Review of the movie: FIREPROOF
« on: February 26, 2010, 12:59:15 PM »
Anything that gives peace and security is something worth trying :)

17
Family & Parenting / Re: Review of the movie: FIREPROOF
« on: February 25, 2010, 07:18:02 PM »
Over the years, I've noticed when people are stuck in life. It's usually because they're still working off a set of assumptions that no longer apply. Or they're using problem solving techniques that once worked, but don't work anymore.

God wants us to always be learning, "always listening for fresh insights." Proverbs 18:15 (MSG)

Contrary to popular belief, there is nothing mysterious about being creative. The basic principle of creativity is simply combining two or more known ideas in a new way to create a fresh idea. Your plan of joining s religious congregation is another way of being creative in making something out of your God-given energy. Who knows, this can be good start?

18
Family & Parenting / Re: Review of the movie: FIREPROOF
« on: February 25, 2010, 05:57:28 PM »
yes manay thess, as they say, "marriage is a continuous learning process."

19
Family & Parenting / Review of the movie: FIREPROOF
« on: February 25, 2010, 04:40:00 PM »
(Last night, I had the opportunity of having extra time to watch the movie FIREPROOF, a 2008 drama about marriage that gone astray but saved the last minute. Below are the movie synopsis-Gener)

Captain Caleb Holt (Kirk Cameron) is a firefighter in Albany, Georgia and firmly keeps the cardinal rule of all firemen, "Never leave your partner behind". But Caleb's home life is an altogether different story; his seven-year marriage to his wife Catherine (Erin Bethea) is on the verge of implosion. Neither one understands the pressures the other faces, and after a heated argument in which Caleb screams in Catherine's face, she declares she wants out of the marriage, and takes off her wedding ring.

While Caleb claims to his friends and co-workers that Catherine is over-sensitive and disrespectful, Catherine simultaneously claims to her peers that Caleb is insensitive to her needs and doesn't listen to her. Further catalyzing Catherine's motivation for divorce is Caleb's addiction to Internet pornography and a large sum of money ($24,000, to be exact) he has saved up for a fishing boat he intends to buy, ignoring the fact that Catherine's disabled mother is in need of hospital equipment that she cannot afford, and which insurance refuses to cover. Caleb tells his father John about the impending divorce, and John challenges Caleb to commit to a 40-day test called, "The Love Dare." Caleb reluctantly agrees to do the test, but more for the sake of his father than his marriage. Catherine initially sees through Caleb's half-hearted attempts to win back her heart, which deepens Caleb's frustration. But with his father's encouragement, Caleb continues with The Love Dare, and eventually makes a life-changing commitment to God, unbeknownst to Catherine.

Meanwhile, Catherine begins flirting with Dr. Gavin Keller (Perry Revell) at the hospital where she works. She begins to open up to him about some of her problems, chiefly her mother's need for the hospital equipment which she can't afford, but as she's no longer wearing her wedding ring, Keller doesn't know Catherine is married, at least not until Caleb is brought to the hospital later. Catherine comes up to Caleb in the emergency room as Keller is treating him, and a nurse says that Caleb is Catherine's husband.

Through the guidance of The Love Dare, and as a result of his commitment to Christ, Caleb begins to understand what it means to truly love his wife. He begins pulling more of his own weight at home, doing household chores and running errands, and even leaving real roses for Catherine. Soon Caleb even finds the motivation to destroy his computer and everything on it, smashing it to pieces with a baseball bat. However, Catherine is still intent on filing for divorce, much to Caleb's anguish.

When Catherine goes to the home care store to talk with a clerk about the unpaid equipment her mother needs, the clerk tells her that all the equipment has been paid for in full and is being installed at her mother's house. Convinced it was Dr. Keller that paid the $24,300 price, Catherine goes to Keller at the hospital to thank him and sets up a lunch date with him. Meanwhile, Caleb finds out about Dr. Keller through a card for Catherine that she left at home, so he goes to the hospital and warns Dr. Keller that, even with his mistakes, he will not step aside and let Keller have Catherine without a fight. The doctor gets the message and quickly cools the relationship with Catherine, and the viewer learns that Dr. Keller is married and hides his ring in a desk drawer.

When Caleb finds Catherine at home sick in bed, he decides to take care of her, with food and medicine. Bewildered at his new bedside manner, Catherine asks Caleb what's happening to him. Caleb starts to tell Catherine about The Love Dare, and she pulls Caleb's book out from underneath the blanket next to her. Caleb tearfully apologizes for his selfish behavior and asks her forgiveness. While Catherine admits she sees some change in Caleb, she still cannot bring herself to trust him and believe he has changed. Caleb understands and gives her as much time as she needs to think things over.

Days later, Catherine returns to the home care store to purchase linens for her mother's new hospital bed, mentioning to the clerk that linens were the only thing Dr. Keller didn't pay for. But when the clerk reveals to Catherine that it was Caleb two weeks prior who paid $24,000 (Keller contributed only $300), Catherine bursts into tears and leaves the store. Now fully convinced of Caleb's genuine change of heart, Catherine runs home crying to put her wedding ring back on her finger. After freshening up, she goes straight to the fire house to tell Caleb that she now forgives him, and the two lovingly embrace. (Also, in a deleted scene, Catherine discovers Gavin flirting with a nurse shortly after learning of Caleb's payment for the hospital bed.)

Caleb's parents come to visit. While talking to his son, Caleb's father reveals that, contrary to what Caleb had believed, he did not do The Love Dare on his wife, she did it on him. This causes Caleb to recognize the impact his mother has had in his life, and rushes home to reconcile with her. Caleb and Catherine renew their vows in an outdoor ceremony, this time as a covenant with God.

Case in Point:

The movie tells 2 lessons that couples must learned.
First is by protecting your marriage from its greatest threat--shared secret. Catherine begins flirting with Dr. Gavin Keller (Perry Revell) at the hospital where she works. She begins to open up to him about some of her marriage problems that eventually lead to flirting moments. How can you protect your marriage from a workplace affair—or any affair? One word: boundaries. A common assumption is that loving marriages are immune to affairs. But research suggests that it’s not necessarily the strength of your love that protects you, but the strength of your boundaries.

Second, know more about your spouse. There are many reasons when a husband or a wife strays away. He or she could be longing for attention and appreciation from other company which he or she didn’t experience from his or her spouse, something couple ought to do. When Caleb accepted the “40-days Love Dare” challenge given to him by his father, he begins to understand what it means to truly love his wife.
In order to give love, one should understand its meaning well enough in order to give it and received it in return. One shouldn’t be confined in just one dimension in defining love as merely a feeling but must beyond that translating it into an action rather than thought. Truly, love is not only a feeling but also an action that may lead to a certain action; that is to love and to get love in return

20
Family & Parenting / Marriage is a Continuous Learning Process
« on: February 25, 2010, 03:43:12 PM »
You had tried everything to save your marriage but despite of everything you have done, it came to a point that there’s no use of turning back for your spouse is slowly drifting away from your marriage life.

Probably, you have heard advices like in order to save your marriage, you have to pray for your spouse or listen to her and any other advices for that matter but still nothing happens. But let me asked you this, have you tried to studying her again?
When a man is trying to win the heart of a woman, he studies her; her likes, dislikes, habits and hobbies. But after he wins her heart and marries her he often stops learning about her. If the amount spent studying her before marriage was equal to a high school degree, he should continue to learn about her until he gained a college degree, a master’s degree and ultimately, a doctorate degree. It is life’s long journey that draws his heart ever closer to hers.

So do you study your spouse? For me, I am but I don’t think I got my college degree yet so I have to keep on learning until I got my PhD.

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