So many people worry about how to start a conversation. It makes them feel anxious and afraid. Are you one of those people who keep your fingers crossed that someone will come up to you and speak because you'd never make the first move in a conversation in a million years?You can put all that behind you with you a few easy steps.
Starting a conversation isn't difficult if you know how to
do it. Here's how:
1. Think what you want to get out of the conversation first.Often this will just be small talk on a social level, but it
may also be something like a date, a new job or to sort out
your finances. The latter examples are a little more tricky
than the first, admittedly, but you can do it!
2. Plan what you want to sayPeople often feel a little easier in their minds if they
have a bit of a script worked out in advance. The thing to
remember with a script, though - is to make it just a few
sentences to get you over the initial trauma of opening
your mouth and speaking that first time in a new situation.
Any more than that and you'll sound false.
Right, so you know what you want to get out of the
conversation and you have a little script worked out for the
first few sentences, Let's see how that works in practice
when it comes to the conversation.
3. Relax!Breath slowly and make yourself aware of your breathing.
Concentrate on just your breathing for a few seconds and you
should feel some of the tension you're feeling begin to ease
off
4. Smile! If you can stop gritting your teeth long enough to
smile, people will be likely to smile back.
5. Listen wellListening always helps yo in conversations. It will show you
when other's have finished speaking so you know where to come
in and if you listen well you'll also pick up clues about what
you could say.
6. When you feel comfortable, say 'Hello, my name is ____'
if the other people don't know you. That will also give you
some breathing space as the other people will probably go on
to introduce themselves to you in return - if their Mums have
taught them good manners!
Try to catch people's names and use them in the conversation
when talking to people. Thye will like that and they will
warm to you. The more they warm to you, the nicer they'll be
to you and the better you'll feel. Using people's names is a
simple trick but it really works wonders in getting a
conversation off on the right foot.
7. You'll probably find it easier at first to talk by making
a comment on a more substantial contribution that someone
else has already made in the conversation. Make your comment
positive or constructive, not negative or condemning. Tell
the other person you agree with them or add an example which
illustrates the point that they have just made and supports it,
etc. You'll soon be accepted as part of the conversation and
the person you backed up will feel you are an ally and will
back you up in return. You've arrived!
8. Of course, you can disagree with the person in your
comment too - we're all entitled to our opinion! But be
aware that disagreeing is likely to focus more attention on
you. If you're rady for that - great! If not, hang back a
little from expressing an opposing opinion.
9. Whatever comment you make - be polite. (This applies in Tubag Bohol.
) That sounds so
obvious, but you'd be amazed how many people get carried
away in the heat of a conversation and snap at anyone who
dares to disagree with them.
10. Are you feeling braver yet? If you're listening well to
the conversation - and you should be - there will be ideas
that will come into your mind. Just put one of those ideas
out there and see what people think of it.
That's it! You've done it! You've learned how to start a
conversation.
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Topic: How to Start a Conversation... (Read 1002 times)