My older sister just shared with me this reflection she wrote for her graduate school. After more than 22 years of juggling time between family and work and doing anything but academic, she decided to go back to school in her mid-40s in response to what she felt like "mid-life crisis." I am inspired by her strong determination for self-empowerment.Turning forty years old was the great awakening period in my life. I reached the point of feeling discontented and unproductive with the lifestyle and career that had provided me comfort and happiness over the years. At forty, I was struggling with a career that had no chance for advancement despite my competence and hard work. Although I had the compassion needed in my job as a nursing assistant, I was caught in the dilemma of boredom, unproductiveness, stagnation and most of all, a career setback. I felt a great sense of remorse for my lack of persistence in pursuing my goal in life. At forty, I felt I could have achieved a more rewarding career. Instead, I procrastinated for many years even when I knew that I had the necessary skills and knowledge to pursue my career to a professional level.
Ashford, Leroy & Lortie elaborate that “adults at midlife are most typically characterized by a new perspective about their world, including a new definition of self, new expectations about what they want to accomplish, and new satisfaction in living.†(Ashford, Leroy, & Lortie, 2006p.509).
True to this observation, I decided to go back to school to empower myself and to find new perspectives in life. At this age, I was motivated to embrace Erickson’s theory of generativity where the focus in life is to provide goods and services for the benefit of society and reaching out to others in ways that guide future generations (p.509). Erickson likewise emphasizes that the development of generativity is essential for embracing effectively the stage of old age (Bergen, 2008). With time passing so fast, I felt that approaching old age was not far behind.
Reassessing my physical well-being was one aspect I considered important in my middle adulthood transition. Although turning forty was my awakening period, I was at the same time overwhelmed by insecurities and fears that I was losing my youth and beginning to show signs of age. For instance, wrinkles in my hands became noticeable, problems with eyesight emerged, and few gray hairs were appearing which I concealed with hair color.
Ashford (2006) states that significant physical changes occur in middle adulthood and most individuals are less fit and have fuller body shape. She further expounds that those additional years in middle adulthood create gray heads, lots of bald heads, and lined faces. The realities of these physical changes in middle adulthood challenged me to maintain a healthy lifestyle to remain physically fit. For instance, I work out regularly and maintain proper diet and nutrition. In fact, I am more physically fit and health-conscious now than I was in my younger years. But there are other aspects that concern me in my aging process, such as menopausal period, illnesses, and perhaps, death. However, my priority at this age is to have control over a healthful lifestyle to continue to improve my future health so that I will still be physically and mentally fit and competent in fulfilling my goal in life to be generative.
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