What if walking away from God wasn’t the end of the story?
I went back. I hardened my heart. I even called myself an atheist. But I couldn’t stay there.
Can someone truly be born again and walk away? What does “returning to your vomit” really mean?
I dig into that and more in this post.
Read the whole thing. You might see your own story in it.
𝐁𝐎𝐑𝐍 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍... 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍?
𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒗𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒕, 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒚, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝑯𝒊𝒎 𝒑𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈
I've lived this. I was born again. For real. Then I went back. My eyes got calloused. My heart got numb. I chose it. I didn't just drift - I labeled myself atheist. Not agnostic, because agnostic still hopes there's something. I wanted nothing.
So does that mean I was never saved to begin with? That's what people throw at you with 2 Peter 2:22 and Proverbs 26:11 - "a dog returns to his vomit."
Here's what I learned - that verse isn't talking about a son who leaves home. It's talking about someone who was washed on the outside but never changed on the inside. A pig can be scrubbed clean and still run back to mud because it's still a pig.
When God truly births you, you get a new nature. You might act like a pig for a season, but you won't be comfortable in the mud anymore. That's why it stung. That's why I couldn't stay there.
𝗪𝗛𝗬 𝗪𝗘 𝗪𝗔𝗟𝗞 𝗔𝗪𝗔𝗬
We don't just wake up one day and say "I quit God." It happens inch by inch:
We stop hearing - the Word becomes boring.
We stop praying - unless we need something.
We entertain what we used to hate.
We justify it - "God knows my heart."
We get offended at church, at God, at a leader, and let that offense become an identity.
We love comfort more than conviction.
We refuse His drawing - that little nudge to repent, to forgive, to put that bottle down, to open the Bible. We say "later."
Every time we say no to that nudge, our heart gets a little harder.
𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗘 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗦𝗖𝗔𝗥𝗘𝗦 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗬𝗢𝗡𝗘 - 𝗛𝗘𝗕𝗥𝗘𝗪𝗦 𝟭𝟬:𝟮𝟲
"For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins"
People use that to say you're done. No hope.
That's not what it means. Read the whole chapter. The writer is talking to Jewish people who were going back to animal sacrifices after they heard Jesus was the final sacrifice. He's saying if you reject JESUS as the sacrifice, there is no other sacrifice left to cover you. Not that if you sin bad after salvation you're doomed - but that if you willfully trample the blood and say "I don't want Your sacrifice, I'll do it my way" - you are cutting off the only branch that can hold you.
A struggling son who sins is not the same as a heart that looks at the cross and says "that means nothing to me." One falls IN the battle, the other walks OFF the battlefield.
Charles Finney said it like this - the sacrifice means nothing if the person who needs to sacrifice doesn't sacrifice himself. You can cry at an altar, say sorry, but if you never lay down YOU, your will, your pride, your right to run your life - nothing changed.
𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗨𝗡𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗚𝗜𝗩𝗔𝗕𝗟𝗘 𝗦𝗜𝗡
Everyone is scared they committed blasphemy of the Holy Spirit.
It's not saying a bad word about the Holy Spirit in anger. Paul was a blasphemer by his own mouth - 1 Timothy 1:13 "though I was before a blasphemer, and a persecutor..." And God saved him.
Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit - Matthew 12:31-32, Mark 3:29 - is what the Pharisees did. They watched Jesus cast out demons by the Spirit of God and said "That's Satan." They saw clear light and called it darkness, on purpose, with full knowledge.
It's not a moment, it's a lifestyle until death. It's a heart that feels the Spirit convicting, knows it's God, and keeps saying "No. I will not be corrected. I will not bow." Till your last breath. God knows that heart. He knows the difference between an ignorant blasphemer who thought he was serving God - like Paul - and a defiant heart that refuses correction forever.
If you're worried you committed it, you didn't. A heart that has committed it doesn't care.
𝗔 𝗦𝗘𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗗 𝗧𝗢𝗨𝗖𝗛 - 𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝟴:𝟮-𝟮𝟱
Jesus spits on a blind man's eyes and touches him. The man says "I see men as trees, walking." He sees, but blurry. Jesus touches him again. Then he sees clearly.
That's many of us. First touch - conception - you see something is real. Second touch - you see clearly. You can be around church for years seeing people like trees. Blurry. Religious but not transformed. You need that second touch where it gets personal, clear, costly.
𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗖𝗘𝗣𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡, 𝗚𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡, 𝗕𝗜𝗥𝗧𝗛 - 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗥𝗢𝗡 𝗟𝗨𝗖𝗘 𝗣𝗜𝗖𝗧𝗨𝗥𝗘
Ron Luce used to break it down like this and it wrecked me:
𝘊𝘖𝘕𝘊𝘌𝘗𝘛𝘐𝘖𝘕 - A miracle happens. The heart is awakened.
For the believer: God softens you. Out of nowhere you think "What have I been doing living without God?" It's not guilt from people, it's God whispering. Your heart that was stone gets soft. You say "I will follow."
For the non-believer: You feel it too. Maybe at 2am. Maybe after a loss, or watching your kids sleep. That ache that says "there has to be more than this." That IS the conception. That's not you being emotional, that's God knocking.
𝘎𝘌𝘚𝘛𝘈𝘛𝘐𝘖𝘕 - Morning sickness. Baby moves. Cravings. Wrestling. Uncomfortable.
This is the part we skip and that's why we have miscarriages.
For the believer: This is counting the cost. Luke 14:28. The baby - new life - starts wrestling with your old life. You get morning sickness for sin. Stuff you used to love makes you sick now. You get cravings - for the Word, for worship, for clean air. It's uncomfortable. You wrestle. "Do I really want to die to me?" This is where Finney's truth hits - sacrifice means nothing if you don't sacrifice yourself. God wants you, not just your words.
For the non-believer: You might think faith is instant happiness. It's not at first. It's war inside. That's why you feel torn. Your flesh likes the old life but something new is growing.
What happens when we jump from conception straight to birth? Miscarriage. Stillborn faith. That's the person who says "I'm sorry, I repent" but feels no remorse. Who tolerates sin, makes excuses - "Why can't I? Everyone else does." Who says "I'll try harder" - how do you try to die? You either die or you don't. No conviction after sin. That's not birth. That's a show.
𝘉𝘐𝘙𝘛𝘏 - You know when it happens. Sweat. Pushing. Pain. Flesh dies. Old life dies.
For the believer: Repentance. "I am through with the old life." The moment of death itself is the start of birth. You sweat, you push through shame, you confess, you let go. New life comes screaming out. Everyone knows something happened.
For the non-believer: You don't need to clean yourself up to be born. You come as you are, but you don't stay as you are. Birth hurts because your old king - you - has to die so Jesus can live in you.
𝗗𝗜𝗩𝗜𝗦𝗜𝗢𝗡 𝗔𝗠𝗢𝗡𝗚 𝗕𝗥𝗘𝗧𝗛𝗥𝗘𝗡
God hates this - Proverbs 6:16-19 says one of seven things He hates is "he that soweth discord among brethren."
And brethren isn't just church people. It's mankind. We are all made in His image. When we create division - believer vs believer, believer vs non-believer - with gossip, racism, pride, political idolatry, tearing someone down online to look holy - we are doing the enemy's work.
Jesus said they'd know us by our love, not by who we owned in an argument.
𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗜𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗠 𝗙𝗥𝗢𝗠 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗝𝗨𝗠𝗣
Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go. Not when they're 16 and in trouble. From conception. From the jump. They need to SEE a godly walk, not just hear a sermon.
They watch how we handle anger, money, our marriage, our phone when no one looks. We can't lead them where we won't walk.
We are called to be leaders - but only because we are first followers of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Lead your home. Lead the lost by example. Pray for the non-believer by name. Walk different so they ask why.
𝗥𝗘𝗙𝗟𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡
So where are you?
Have you had conception - that awakening - but never let gestation do its uncomfortable work? Are you living with blurry vision - seeing men like trees - and pretending you see clearly?
Have you returned to your vomit and now you think you're disqualified? You're not. If you can still hear Him calling, you can still come home.
And for my skeptical friend reading this who thinks this is all fairy tales - that ache you feel that life is pointless, that question "what if I'm wrong" - that's not weakness. That's conception. Don't abort it.
Come home. Today.
Pray for someone by name who needs this. Share it if it hit you. And if you are that prodigal - stop running. The Father is already on the porch.
#BornAgain #Prodigal #JesusChristisLord
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