Author Topic: The Gift of Forgiveness (Read 1101 times)

Lorenzo · « **on:** June 22, 2009, 12:01:16 PM »

by: Kim Book

Each time the barbed-wire fence closes behind me and I see the men sitting in a circle waiting for me, I begin to pray, "Please Lord, I want them to see You in me."

I'm often asked to speak to inmates about being the victim of crime. On March 23, 1995, my 17-year-old daughter, Nicole, opened the door of her father's house to a 16-year-old young man named LeVaughn whom she knew. LeVaughn came into the house and they began to argue over drugs.

LeVaughn picked up the butcher knife from the kitchen counter and stabbed Nicole to death. My only child lay dying on the floor of the living room, her eyes still open. The last sight she saw that day was the face of the young man who was killing her. This young man whom I had never met in my life, came into my life that day and changed my life forever.

I buried my daughter, and one week later the District Attorney informed us he was asking for the death penalty for LeVaughn. He began telling us how he wanted to try the case, and then he proceeded to ask us if we believed in the death penalty. Everyone said, "yes," except for me. I said "no."

I don't believe in murder. Murder is murder, no matter how you look at it. It was no more right for me to take LeVaughn's life then it was for him to take Nicole's life. I did not need revenge.

I waited one year to be faced with the young man who had changed my life forever. He was hostile and angry during the trial. My greatest fear was that he would get the death penalty and that I would then have to fight to never allow that to happen. But God knew that wasn't how He wanted me to spend my time. LeVaughn was found guilty of second-degree murder and sentenced to thirty-eight years with no probation.

God had other plans for my life. LeVaughn still looked angry when he was sentenced two weeks later. Only now, he was sitting right next to me as I stood at the podium to address the court and the judge, but I was warned not to address LeVaughn. I was told I couldn't speak to this person who had changed my life forever, and he was sitting right next to me.

I began reading what I had written and then God spoke to my heart. I needed to talk to this young man. It might be my only opportunity. I turned and looked into his face. This was the face that my daughter saw as she lay dying on the living room floor just one year ago, and now I was looking into that same face. I told LeVaughn that I was not angry with him, but that I felt very hurt. I told him that I had compassion for him and that I hoped that he could somehow find a way to turn his life around.

And lastly, I told him that I would be praying for him. The face that was so full of anger was now looking at me in disbelief, and the anger was gone.

When I walked away from the courthouse that day, I knew that God had given both of us a gift. It was the gift of forgiveness. I was able to forgive the young man who murdered my daughter. Not because he asked me too, but because it was what God wanted for both of us. God was never going to be able to use me if I was angry. Forgiveness brings peace. And with that peace comes overwhelming joy. The joy of knowing that God will forgive me just as I have forgiven.

Two years ago, I became a Prison Fellowship volunteer. I also volunteer for the Pre-Release Programs in several prisons in my area. I do a Parenting Program, Personal Development Program and the Victim's Sensitivity Program. I have also become a trained mediator, mediating minor offenses for the District Attorney's Office, and I'm currently working on a program to do mediations between victims and offenders of violent crimes. I believe in rehabilitation.

As I walk out of the prison I feel so much peace. I don't see myself as a victim. I see myself as someone who has had something happen in my life, and I chose to let God use it so that I might be of greater service to Him. There is a sense of God's presence in prison. God is everywhere, even in prison. And to think I might never have known that -- if I wasn't able to forgive.

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fdaray · « **Reply #1 on:** June 22, 2009, 04:06:01 PM »

I believe forgiveness is a choice we make through a decision of our will, motivated by obedience to God and his command to forgive.
The Bible instructs us to forgive as the Lord forgave us:

Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (NIV)
How do we forgive when we don't feel like it? How do we translate the decision to forgive into a change of heart?
We forgive by faith, out of obedience. Since forgiveness goes against our nature, we must forgive by faith, whether we feel like it or not. We must trust God to do the work in us that needs to be done so that the forgiveness will be complete.
I believe God honors our commitment to obey Him and our desire to please him when we choose to forgive. He completes the work in his time. We must continue to forgive (our job), by faith, until the work of forgiveness (the Lord's job), is done in our hearts.

Philippians 1:6
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. (NLT)
How will we know if we have truly forgiven?
Corrie Ten Boom, a Christian woman who survived a Nazi concentration camp during the Holocaust, said, "Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to realize the prisoner was you."
We will know the work of forgiveness is complete when we experience the freedom that comes as a result. We are the ones who suffer most when we choose not to forgive. When we do forgive, the Lord sets our hearts free from the anger, bitterness, resentment and hurt that previously imprisoned us.

Most times, however, forgiveness is a slow process.

Matthew 18:21-22
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. (NIV)
This answer by Jesus makes it clear that forgiveness is not easy for us. It's not a one-time choice and then we automatically live in a state of forgiveness. Forgiveness may require a lifetime of forgiving, but it is important to the Lord. We must continue forgiving until the matter is settled in our heart.
What if the person we need to forgive is not a believer?
I have found that prayer is one of the best ways to break down the wall of un-forgiveness in my heart. When I begin to pray for the person who has wronged me, God begins to give me new eyes to see that person and a new heart to care for that person. As I pray I begin to see that person as God sees them, and I realize that person is precious to the Lord. I also see myself in a new light, just as guilty of sin and failure as the other person. I too am in need of forgiveness. If God did not withhold his forgiveness from me, why should I withhold my forgiveness from another?
Is it okay to feel anger and want justice for the person we need to forgive?
This question presents another reason to pray for the person we need to forgive. We can pray for God to deal with the injustices, for God to judge the person's life, and then we can leave that prayer at the altar. We no longer have to carry the anger. Although it is normal for us to feel anger toward sin and injustice, it is not our job to judge the other person in their sin.

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Bunchy · « **Reply #2 on:** June 23, 2009, 01:01:15 PM »

Releasing forgiveness to someone can lighten the baggage that we are carrying inside.

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Lorenzo · « **Reply #3 on:** June 23, 2009, 01:05:27 PM »

Amen, brother Felix and Bunchy!

Even if we are harmed by the words of others, bahala pood ilang intenciones. Give it all--and release it all to Jesus Christ.

Pray for them na lang, and burry it.

Denounce their actions, and release it to Jesus. If the load seems to be too heavy for you, don't just give up. Ask Jesus for help. hehe. Open yourself to Him. Mo lighten ang load bitaw.

Its the beauty of simplicity.
Saved by Grace.

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Bunchy · « **Reply #4 on:** June 23, 2009, 01:08:03 PM »

It's true.Only in Jesus we can have peace in our hearts.

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Lorenzo · « **Reply #5 on:** June 23, 2009, 01:34:17 PM »

Yes, Amen!

When one TRULY accepts Jesus into his heart, everything changes. The way you see things are changed. You were baptized in water, yes! Amen! But be baptize also in the Spirit! Amen!

hehe, if someone tries to harm us by word or deed--bahala pood ilang ill-intent. Just send it to Jesus. Release it to Jesus~ Amen!

You will see, those that plot against you, they will falter, and stumble.

So be strong, in your faith! Robe yourself in Christ!
There is no wrong in Christ.

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Lorenzo · « **Reply #6 on:** June 23, 2009, 01:51:54 PM »

The message of this story, is a beautiful one, guys.

The pain of loss, and murder is absolute. May we never have to experience such an experience, we pray to Jesus!

But the beauty in the message--is unequivocally pure.

Forgive, and be forgiven. hehe! Yes!

Pave your way towards Salvation.

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Author Topic: The Gift of Forgiveness (Read 1101 times)

Lorenzo

The Gift of Forgiveness

fdaray

Re: The Gift of Forgiveness

Bunchy

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Lorenzo

Re: The Gift of Forgiveness

Bunchy

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Lorenzo

Re: The Gift of Forgiveness

Lorenzo

Re: The Gift of Forgiveness