MikeLigalig.com

I’m a father of 4 kids’ ages 17, 13, 10 and 5. Being an OFW (Overseas Filipino Worker) myself, my job requires me to spend most of it away from my family. That is why I have to make the most out of my time in every opportunity that comes along the way to be with them, especially my vacations in the Philippines.

The Bible says that children are a reward from the Lord, and blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them (Ps. 127). I have certainly found that to be true. But I’ve also found that the fuller my quiver gets (I’ve got one handsome and three beautiful little arrows) the harder it is to find the time to give each child the attention they need and deserve.
My most recent vacation in the Philippines was very grueling but rewarding for I have to balance my own activities with my children’s schedule. As I glanced at my schedule for the coming weekend at that time, five day seminar dominates the landscape, along with the list of household chores, tutoring and errands longer than any one man should have to face. And these are supposed to be my days off!

Can you relate? If so, here are things I do to develop my relationship with my kids, in spite of a hectic schedule.

1. Take one child or two along on a short trip
Last month I had an errand to the mall to buy grocery items, and I took my two little daughters with me. The time the three of us spent in the grocery and in the car every errand was invaluable, and now they always asked me, “Dad, when are we going to do shopping again?” A one or two day trip like this is a great chance for you to connect with your kids.

2. Give them nicknames
Each of my kid has a nickname that no one else has. We’ve got ‘Mouse’, ‘Senyor’ and ‘Amag’ and my even my wife was not spared as I have assigned her a nickname as well. These nicknames tell them, “You know what? You’re special.”

3. Take them on dates
I try to have regular dates with each of my children. Like my wife, they deserve to have my undivided attention every once in awhile. This is more than just letting them come along as I run errands. I build the time around them, doing things they enjoy and just talking together.

4. Eat one meal together each day
In our home breakfast is chaos, and by lunchtime we are scattered to the four winds. But as much as possible we try to have dinner as a family. This is our time to reconnect and recharge after a busy day. It’s our chance to celebrate victories, and to help each other through the tough things.

5. Pray together at night
Every night before bed I pray with my kids in our room. We pray about their past, their present and their future. We thank God for sending His Son for us. We pray about their current needs and concerns. And we pray together for their future spouses, asking God to cause them to grow in faith and purity.

6. Be available
Our children need to know that they are more important to us than anything else. At the last day of my seminar (also the day of my examination) at the Philippine Trade Training Center in Pasay, I received a distress message that I have to fetch my kid from school who was left out by her school service. Being a Friday that day, the car I was driving is not allowed on the street as per number coding scheme, I have to go out of my way to evade traffic enforcers just to make myself available. Great distance is also not an excuse for me that I have to do Math tutoring to my daughters and son via internet (SKYPE and YM) and my kids have permission to text me on my cell phone anytime they need help in their assignments.

7. Put their activities into your schedule
My Facebook calendar and my desk planner are filled with my kids’ activities, practices and games. While I can’t make it to all of them while I’m away, but as much as possible I am there to cheer them on. I don’t want to miss their big moments!
The Bible speaks of children as arrows. I picture myself taking aim, pulling back the bow and launching them into the world. The target that they hit depends in large part on the amount that I invest in them today. Does it take effort? Yes. Are there tough choices sometimes? Yes. Is it worth it? Definitely.



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You are most welcome my friend:-)

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these are also what i do everytime i go back home for a vacation... mas maging mother na gani karon kaysa katong time nga naa ko sa kilid nila everyday

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Hi Gener,

I'm glad you're back. Great pointers! I can relate with most of the things you do to bond with your children. I'm almost set to be back to the Philippines for good early next year to take advantage of opportunities to do projects with Japanese companies from my home base in Paranaque City. I had been raring to be with the whole family in Bohol, where everyone is now settled. But my work will require a stable broadband internet and phone connection close to my clients' operation base in Manila.

I'm a little disappointed, but I thought I just can't pass up the opportunity to work in the Philippines with basically the same arrangement I have in Japan, sans the prohibitive cost of living. One can't really have the best of all worlds, and I chide myself to have a more thankful heart. The kids, however, seem to be excited to spend time alternately between laid-back Bohol and the big-city Manila, though I think for economic reasons I will be the one to go home to spend most weekends with them. My two teenagers will soon be in college, and I open up the option for them to pursue it in Manila. I really don't want to unsettle them again with another relocation, but I think in a year or two, they can make the decision themselves. Another good thing is that our house at BF Homes, which has been untended in the last 4 years, will finally be lived in. I have been praying for this opportunity, as I could sense the difficulty of my wife raising two teenagers by herself. Child-rearing takes another turn when the kids reach adolescence. The last one year and a half away from them has been a difficult time for me, but I feel that my prayers have at last been answered, though not fully. These tips you shared will continue to be of great use to me.

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Is there anything more beautiful in life than a father (or mother) and child clasping hands and pure hearts in the path of this cycle called life? More than enough to melt somebody's heart.

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parenting is like watching a flower grow. you savor its fragrance as it blooms and miss it as it starts to wither for it is time to go.

always there are tears from my parents' eyes each time i bid bye-bye to them. the home is never the same coz once it was filled with flowers...now, memories take over.



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