Maan D’Asis Pamaran
Believe it or not, kids get stressed out too and they show it in different ways!
In today's hurly-burly world, we feel that stress is inevitable. It is a given that every functioning adult will experience burnout at some point. That is why spas enjoy regular patronage, anti-stress vitamins and supplement drinks are flying off supermarket shelves, and we have relaxation gurus holding seminars at fully-booked venues.
But did you know that kids can get stressed too? And according to SPED teacher Marvin Borja of the Jesu-Mariae International School in Paranaque, they don’t even know that they are stressing out. "When we adults feel tired or anxious, we know that we are already stressed. But kids manifest it in ways that adults often misunderstand. They become irritable or throw tantrums. These, the parents might interpret as simply their child misbehaving." They may also verbalize it, but in other ways. Adds Borja, "When they are playing, they may say, ‘mommy, pagod na ko!’ but they don’t realize that the pagod may already be stress."
"Even babies may get stressed if they are not comfortable," Borja says. Toddlers may feel antsy when they are faced with new situations. "Change can be stressful for anybody," he adds.
Signs of stress in children
Children respond to stress in their different ways, with their own coping mechanisms, like adults do. Here are some cues that your child may already be stressed out.
• Frequent tantrum bouts
• Restlessness
• Mood swings
• Change in sleep patterns
• Pretends to be sick
• Doesn’t want to go to school
• Develops new mannerisms (hair-twirling, thumbsucking)
• Has trouble concentrating on schoolwork
• Grades start to slip
• May complain of headaches or tummy aches
Stress factors
Kids often get stressed because of factors that are out of their control. Borja says one common reason is the environment. "Pag mainit, hindi sila mapakali. They are not comfortable. I see that even in school. When it is hot, the children become restless," he shares.
Schoolwork is another contributor to child burnout. "Children need downtime too. If they go to school tapos puro aral sila doon, then they get home and there are piles of homework to be done, the child will feel overwhelmed. On top of that, there are the extra curricular activities to attend to. Talagang mapapagod sila," says Borja
Family matters may also contribute to stress. "The addition of a new baby can be quite stressful, as well as tension or quarreling in the home," he adds. If the child feels that his home is not a safe haven, this may lead to chronic stress.
Stress may also be seasonal. "In my experience, tinatamad na yung students to go to school when it is nearing Christmas or summer vacation. It may also have something to do with the activities that they have outside of school, in preparation for the season."
Unwind, Relax
If you feel that your child may be stressed, Borja advises the following interventions:
• Hug more often. Physical contact is key, he says. "Even we, as adults, welcome a hug from our loved ones at the end of a long day at the office. Our kids will definitely appreciate the same."
• Talk to teacher. If you feel that their homework load is too heavy, talk to the teacher for a little leeway. "At our school, we try not to give our students homework during weekends. We want them to be with their family. We want them to have the mindset that Monday to Friday is for school, and weekends are for play." Weekend homework can be a hindrance to bonding time. "If mom knows that the kids have some studying to do, she might veto going out as a family, or if they do go out, they hurry home. Kasi nga mag-aaral pa sila," Borja explains. "If you see grades starting to slip, talk to the teacher about it," he adds.
• Make the home front peaceful. Confrontations may be had to avoid at times, but you always have to show children that there are calmer ways to settle things. This will lower their stress levels, and teach them an important life lesson too.
• Clean up your act. Mess means stress, says Borja. "Try to find your child a comfortable place to work on his assignments."
• Let ‘em play. Physical exercise burns off not only calories, but also negative feelings. "A lot of kids today stay indoors. They have no outlet for their energy. As a result, they get stressed more easily. Another result of keeping kids indoors is that they are not used to the heat. Let them go out, let them get used to it gradually," Borja exhorts.
• Deload them. If your child complains about having too many activities, it may be time to chuck out taekwondo or ice skating from his schedule.
• Make the weekend sacred. "On weekends, have fun!" enthuses Borja. There should be no pressure for the child.
• Bring out the crayons. Art therapy does wonders with special children when they start their tantrums. Observes Borja, "Art helps them develop fine motor skills, and helps them express their feelings.
• Laugh. When his students start acting up, Borja says he talks in cartoon voices to get their attention.
• Find quiet time. Naptime is a good stress buster. "The kids don’t even have to go to sleep, maybe playing some soft music lang or simply keeping the room cozy and quiet helps," he says.
• Watch the diet. "If they eat unhealthy food, their bodies won’t function properly, and they don’t feel well. A balanced diet will give them the energy they need to face their day-to-day activities," advises Borja. Nix those fizzies and add more fruits and veggies.
source: Manila Bulletin Online
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