I don't know how you do it - di gyod ko pwede mag doktor - basin ma wrong diagnose and wrong tambal akong mahatag sa pasyente. Unya, padayon pa gyod kag further your expertise!!!
Natural ra man na, Father, sa intern years sa pagkadoktor, it is the time to experience all things. One has to keep an open mind ; and remind oneself that "you cannot save everyone of your patients." ka tinuod baya na. The first time we loose our patient is the most painful and most heart-wrenching experience, but one has to understand that as a doctor, one cannot always save everyone.
When I lost my first patient, I really took it hard. We tried our best to resuscitate her, as in all 4 of us that were working on her were doing our best to revive her heart (patient had died due to STEMI (st-elevation myocardial infarction) secondary to a massive occlusion of the left descending coronary artery). When I left the room, I could not believe that she died; and within minutes, I was consumed by such a massive and overwhelming burden and pain. I had to explain to her husband and her kids that their mother "did not make it ". It was burden to see the kids cry and clench their dad. They kept on saying, "mommy! we want to see our mommy! please , doctor, can't you make her wake up again?" The youngest child (8 years old) was saying this to me.
I had to get out of there because i was rolling in tears. It was so very hard to see the kids cry. I had to talk to my attending about this.
Anyways, my attending told me, "Lorenzo, this is a natural pain you experience. Recognize it, don't deny it. You cannot save everyone, we are not God."
He was right.
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