Author Topic: Letters From A Son For His Father (001)  (Read 1503 times)

pioneer

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Letters From A Son For His Father (001)
« on: November 27, 2007, 12:53:23 PM »
Letter 1

Dear Papa,

I am crying again as I am writing this letter, which you will never be able to read, and though I know that you will never be able to see this letter that I will be archiving here in Tubag Bohol, I will still write my thoughts and feelings for you.

Papa, I will be writing many letters for you, and today I draft the first one. For many days I have tried to deny my pain; I try to laugh and smile, yet when I'm alone I would remember you intensely, and wherever I go I see and hear many things that would fondly remind me of you.

Papa, I want to live a normal life, so I let my friends and acquaintances see me happy and strong but I am not, Papa. I am miserable inside. I am denying my soul to look at this world of grief and sorrow born out of your death - and I try to keep myself busy and do many things that would make me forget what you had gone through. Papa, I am not really happy. My smiles, my laughters are all superficials. 

I am at the school today and I want to write the words to be inscribed on your tomb. Mama has been asking me to write these words and send the writing to her but I keep postponing it because I just don't want to remember the fact that you've already gone away from us. I'm sorry, Papa, that I delay the writing, but today I will finally write the markings for your tomb.

Papa, I want to face this pain and see it as it is. I will begin a new journey today to be chronicled through letters of a grieving son for his beloved father, a painful journey that will make me see you once more and hold you, Papa, once again

in my heart and
               in my mind,

Mike

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Romans 10:9
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Re: Letters From A Son To His Father (001)
« Reply #1 on: November 27, 2007, 12:58:04 PM »
Mike you make your Papa sad too...

He sees you dear dont you know that???

dili sad sha mahimutang ug di ka mahimutang dear,

Mike try to picture HEAVEN and he is there...

Always think nga naa na sha sa eternal paradise dear para di ka mingawon...



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pioneer

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Re: Letters From A Son For His Father (001)
« Reply #2 on: November 27, 2007, 01:04:20 PM »
Byle, I have to stop this denial now. I will unleash my pain. I will open myself to all of you here who have been with me during my hours of grief and darkness.

I will chronicle this pain and its healing process through letters.

I know that Papa is in heaven and he will join Jesus in His kingdom because Papa has placed his faith in Jesus before he died (John 11:25-26), but I want to look back now and pick up myself and allow myself to be human.

Linkback: https://tubagbohol.mikeligalig.com/index.php?topic=6793.0
Romans 10:9
"That if you shall confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and shall believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead, you shall be saved."
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Re: Letters From A Son For His Father (001)
« Reply #3 on: November 27, 2007, 01:09:01 PM »
i know Mike...

and i am very happy how you brought his faith to Him even in his latest days in life...

God will give you big, big credit for what you have done my dear...

do you still remember that???

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Re: Letters From A Son For His Father (001)
« Reply #4 on: November 27, 2007, 02:33:43 PM »
Dear Mike,

I feel your sorrows, pains, bereavement. It takes time my dear friend to accept the fact that he is not anymore with us.  His dealings, his love is always your guidance  as the days goes by which tightly remains in your heart  and that makes him immortal.  He didn't leave you, call his name and talk to him and he will relieve your pains....I mean, through prayers. Until at this time....if moments of dilemma, I must have to talk to my deceased Father and I feel his presence.

During that 9th days prayers, I never answered mentioning his name, instead, bristled with anger, blaming myself why he must have to leave earlier and God knows......how I miss him!  Death is only a barrier but our loved ones who went ahead stand with us in the day of judgment.

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Best regards
Bambi

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Re: Letters From A Son For His Father (001)
« Reply #5 on: November 27, 2007, 02:58:19 PM »
Mike, my dear brother,

Pare, i cannot even begin to imagine the pain that you are experiencing, your own Papa. What a great man he must have been in life!! To have raised such a noble, intelligent, humble, and caring son! Mike, I know that a loss of a loved one is hard to bear, specially when that person is your own father. If I could hug you right now, pare, I would.

Though our loved ones, and friends that have gone before us, though we will never see them physically again, Mike, we must comfort ourselves that something and somepart of them lives in us, in our heart. Forever. Till the day we draw our last breath. Mike, I feel the same way with my friend Rob. Though I cannot pat him on the back, give him a bear hug as I used to or share a can of beer as we talk in our conversations---i can still feel him. As I know you can still feel your papa. I can still hear his voice resounding in my head, his laughter and the memories where we used to go from one frat house to the other---following the scent of the beer keg!! I can still remember helping him walk back home to our dorm  as he was extremely drunk. Hahahaha, Rob never had the ability to carry his own liquor! And he was Irish! that is the funny part! I would have to help carry him back to our place---and may i remind you that i was drunk myself--soo it was almost an impossible task. "Leave me Al" he would say. And I ushered, "Never. Get Up. C'mon lets walk it off together." Hahaha! I picked him up and we both walked back to our dorm----which was like 3-4 blocks away from the site where we were walking from. I cannot forget that. I will never forget that. How Can I? These are the things, Mike, that we must remember. The good times, as well as the trying times---that builds and defines a friendship, fatherhood, motherhood, childhood etc.
Your father lives in you, Mike. And I know that he is proud of you. You are his Anak. How can Your Papa forget his son? Your father is in Heaven. He is with the angels and saints, singing the un-ending hymn of praise to the Most High. The Lord is a God of Mercy, Love, and Compassion. Remember that, pre.

Blessed are you pare, for your tears will one day be dried.
Your Papa is smiling down from Heaven to you, pare. Be strong, Mike. And keep on writing your thoughts.

Always,
Bran

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Re: Letters From A Son For His Father (001)
« Reply #6 on: November 28, 2007, 10:51:14 PM »
Mike, my dear brother,

Pare, i cannot even begin to imagine the pain that you are experiencing, your own Papa. What a great man he must have been in life!! To have raised such a noble, intelligent, humble, and caring son! Mike, I know that a loss of a loved one is hard to bear, specially when that person is your own father. If I could hug you right now, pare, I would.

Though our loved ones, and friends that have gone before us, though we will never see them physically again, Mike, we must comfort ourselves that something and somepart of them lives in us, in our heart. Forever. Till the day we draw our last breath. Mike, I feel the same way with my friend Rob. Though I cannot pat him on the back, give him a bear hug as I used to or share a can of beer as we talk in our conversations---i can still feel him. As I know you can still feel your papa. I can still hear his voice resounding in my head, his laughter and the memories where we used to go from one frat house to the other---following the scent of the beer keg!! I can still remember helping him walk back home to our dorm  as he was extremely drunk. Hahahaha, Rob never had the ability to carry his own liquor! And he was Irish! that is the funny part! I would have to help carry him back to our place---and may i remind you that i was drunk myself--soo it was almost an impossible task. "Leave me Al" he would say. And I ushered, "Never. Get Up. C'mon lets walk it off together." Hahaha! I picked him up and we both walked back to our dorm----which was like 3-4 blocks away from the site where we were walking from. I cannot forget that. I will never forget that. How Can I? These are the things, Mike, that we must remember. The good times, as well as the trying times---that builds and defines a friendship, fatherhood, motherhood, childhood etc.
Your father lives in you, Mike. And I know that he is proud of you. You are his Anak. How can Your Papa forget his son? Your father is in Heaven. He is with the angels and saints, singing the un-ending hymn of praise to the Most High. The Lord is a God of Mercy, Love, and Compassion. Remember that, pre.

Blessed are you pare, for your tears will one day be dried.
Your Papa is smiling down from Heaven to you, pare. Be strong, Mike. And keep on writing your thoughts.

Always,
Bran

Bran, there is something in death that I can't just fathom. Though I know very well that Papa will be resurrected at the final trumpet call when Christ returns because Papa had surrendered his life to Christ before he died, the humanity in me will always resurface. Because our minds and our senses are so acquainted with anything that is physical that we always find it difficult to experience the supernatural life. I know that Papa now lives in me as a living memory but there is that indescribable longing in my heart, a longing to hear his voice, to see his smile, to hold his hand, to sit or stand beside him.

At times I wish to come home to the Philippines and I would stay in the cemetery with him. I want to see the place where he's buried so that I'd experience a total assurance that he really stays there.

At the same time, there is that unexplainable fear of coming home. I fear the sight of our house. I fear the familiar surroundings of our neighborhood. I fear that his memories would overwhelm me if I see the things that he used to see, if I hear the things that he used to hear, if I touch the things that he used to touch. Papa loved to wear the shirts that I already abandoned, and that fact alone, if I'd see those shirts at our house, will intensify the nostalgia, and then the nostalgia will explode into fear. Nevertheless, I will run and embrace this fear so that I would know that death is real. 

Linkback: https://tubagbohol.mikeligalig.com/index.php?topic=6793.0
Romans 10:9
"That if you shall confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and shall believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead, you shall be saved."
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Re: Letters From A Son For His Father (001)
« Reply #7 on: November 29, 2007, 07:56:23 AM »
Mike, I can not even say I know how you feel though believe me I understand how feel.  When my mother was so critical, I thought I really shook God like a child to listen to me to spare my mother.  He granted my wish because, I guess it wasn't my Mother's time yet but the thought of losing her really drove me crazy at that time, it was so overwhelming and unimaginable I wished then I could die for awhile so I wouldn't feel that pain and anxiety anymore.  That's why Mike, I embraced you for your being open to us in sharing your emotions.  I really appreciate that because that means you truly care for us too and trust us to share the memories of your dear father.  I think through that huge trial in your life, it made us TB, a stronger and united family!  Please let us know what else can we do to ease your pain.  Or, is there?

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Re: Letters From A Son For His Father (001)
« Reply #8 on: November 29, 2007, 10:20:34 AM »
Bran, there is something in death that I can't just fathom. Though I know very well that Papa will be resurrected at the final trumpet call when Christ returns because Papa had surrendered his life to Christ before he died, the humanity in me will always resurface. Because our minds and our senses are so acquainted with anything that is physical that we always find it difficult to experience the supernatural life. I know that Papa now lives in me as a living memory but there is that indescribable longing in my heart, a longing to hear his voice, to see his smile, to hold his hand, to sit or stand beside him.

At times I wish to come home to the Philippines and I would stay in the cemetery with him. I want to see the place where he's buried so that I'd experience a total assurance that he really stays there.

At the same time, there is that unexplainable fear of coming home. I fear the sight of our house. I fear the familiar surroundings of our neighborhood. I fear that his memories would overwhelm me if I see the things that he used to see, if I hear the things that he used to hear, if I touch the things that he used to touch. Papa loved to wear the shirts that I already abandoned, and that fact alone, if I'd see those shirts at our house, will intensify the nostalgia, and then the nostalgia will explode into fear. Nevertheless, I will run and embrace this fear so that I would know that death is real. 

Mike. I feel connected to you in a way, pre, because we are both fighting the feeling of unexplainable pain of loss. This loss is so complete, and so certain that I sometimes question if I will ever be the same again. Death will always shock those affected, pre. No matter how great we are in life, no matter our convictions, our actions and contributions----there is no escaping death. For death is the stage before our final judgment; where the Lord God calls each and every one of us home.

Pre, as a human being, we are naturally needy of the physical. We yearn to touch, hear, taste, and see. For we have yet to be given the grace of God's face. Our eternal soul dwells in our shell, the body, and the only way for our soul to feel and yearn for the connection to the eternal God, the Only God, The One True God, is through physical means. It is in the time of death, my dear friend, that the soul is released from the capsule that is our body. Upon this, all or dreams, yearnings, hopes, aspirations--all that defines our soul, our inner being, will be lifted high into the heavens to be called to the Throne of God. It is then that we will be humbled---to see the Face of God. And receive judgment. And This judgment is absolute.  Firm. I believe Mike. I truly believe with my heart and soul, that we all shall be united with our loved ones that have gone before us to their rest. All shall be united, and all your prayers will be answered. The Lord God is a God of compassion, and hears all For he has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one;he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help.
Psalm 22:24
We do not know the Lord. There is no complete understanding of the Lord God, who is the alpha and the omega. Whose throne reigns infinite as the heavens that he so created by mere thought. But this is utterly true, pre, that he KNOWS all of us. He knows us and our actions even before we think of it or act on it. For so he formed us in the womb.

Pre, I am totally totally here for you if you ever need someone to talk to. It is good to talk about our losses, the best thing we can do as humans and as brothers in our faith---is to support and comfort one another in our time of need. And I am so inspired by you, Mike. My faith has been strengthened by reading your writings, by seeing you cope with your loss and the anguish of loss. You have an admirable character, pre. Though I never had an older brother, I feel that I can call you my Kuya. Remember pre, that we are all here for a reason. Do not despair all the time, and I know how hard it is to not feel the pain of this loss--God knows I have my own battles to fight in the loss of my best friend--but we must not despair too much, my dear beloved Brother. For the Lord is so GOOD that he wants all of us to be happy. HE has given us a loving family, warm and supportive friends, miracles of everyday life, the breath of life that is in us, and the grace and LOVE of the Holy Spirit. The devil and his wicked demons are there who wish for us to despair, and stay in grief, for he is the antithesis of Love, and Happiness that is the Lord our GOD. We all carry our own crosses, pre, the burdens that we all carry in our journey that we call life. Be strong. Be firm in faith. And long for the promises of family, my dear brother. Many Loved Ones near and far away long to see you. They Await to see you.

You are In My prayers and In my thoughts.


Always Your Friend,
With Love,
Bran

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