heaven help us! here are hopes that you decide wisely, as always, and for the good of all of you, hubby and mocha included.
years ago, i had to make a terrible decision about my dog. he was already too far gone with distemper. right from the beginning, the vet told me that his chance was 50-50. my answer? i'll take the positive 50. the process went on for a month; i wake up early, buy the day's supply of medicines and intravenous food, and go to the veterinary clinic where he was admitted. i hardly had my mind on my job. i was too focused on bong's (the dog's name) survival.
the vet knew that i was resolute in not taking any advice of putting the dog to everlasting sleep, so she talked to my friends and relatives. at that point, all my money was gone, yet i insisted on looking for more money to cope with the dog's medical expenses. soon, friends, including nuns, visited me at the office. slowly they prepared me for the worst. it turned out that the vet had finally told them that my dog will never heal and that only the medicines and intravenous sustenance were what kept him alive. the thoughtful vet was already worried about my expenses.
let go, let go, they told me. i didn't go home; i spent the night at a friend's house and cried myself hoarse the day i finally let go of my dog.
yes, graze, it's terrible, terrible. we owe it to ourselves to grieve. it is our privilege. but as long as we open ourselves to the grace of redemption, in time we manage to heal. and move on.
i feel that Mocha is not gonna be okay anymore considering his condition right now plus his old age, ms. isle. and i fully understand what you and bella and raquel are saying. i trully do. but there's a disconnect between my brain and my heart.
it is midnight here. just got back from where Mocha is. i had a long talk with him while i gave him his midnight snack. i told him i am gonna let go of him na. after this weekend. this is not easy at all. Mocha is my first pet, you know.
thank you so much, ms isle, for being there understanding what I am going through.