I would like to congratulate those members who made interesting entries for our first balak-making.
These are the people who made the activity successful.
1. Macky Ferniz
2. El Mundo
3. Bambi
4. Scott
5. Mike L.
6. Yakiyeye
As the organiser of this activity, I would like to recognize the winner.
MACKY FERNIZ's
O Tabanog,
Ka anindot sa imong ikog
Mi sayaw sayaw sa mabugnaw nga huyohoy.
Ang akong kalipay ug katawa mi lanog
Ug na pukaw ang mga bukid nga nag kisdom
Apan sa wala damha, kalit mi hugpa ang unos,
mi ngit ngit ang palibot, mi huyop ang kusog nga hangin,
ug mi bundak ang ulan
O Tabanog, sa kalit, imo akong gi biyaan,
gi putol ang tanod sa atong gugma
Ug mi uban ka sa panganod
Imo akong gi biyaan nga nag inusara,
ga kurog sa katugnaw, ibabaw sa kabaw,
niining darohan nga mamingaw
O Tabanog, akong luha mi sagol sa ulan
akong kalipay uban kanimo, gi handom sa kanunay
Balik intawon sa akong mga bukton
ug atong sawhan ang malipayong kagahapon
POINTS EARNED:
1. this is the kind of poem that you will like at first glance without trying to anylyze its depth.
2. this can have a wide range of comments since the poem carries a heavy, multiple meaning [polysemy]
3. there's a characterized speaker [though not a persona] & it has pointed to a certain distance where the addressee is positioned. use of "KABAW" is very witty. it sets the position of the speaker which is a very important element of poetry. of course, there's an underlying significance as the poet tries to explain why he uses it.
4. its title is just appropriate as it promises to achieve a certain effect
5. the subject is clear. human experience is perfectly captured under a simple yet profound circumstance.
6. the poem appeals more to its emotions than to the intellect of the readers [that's how it achieves its unique singluar effect]
7. every IMAGE of the poem is significant, doesn't intimidate the readers since it shows how "TABANOG" flies. also, its images carries a social context- metaphorical setting.
8. the tone of the poem, which i think is sensitive, reveals the attitude of the speaker to hook also the sensibilities of the readers.
9. word choice is uncontrived. simple language. some of its words help to set the mood.
OVERALL IMPRESSION: it has a very credible speaker, doesn't separate himself from the subject.
VERY SAD POEM
[you can have better views, so feel free to post your thoughts]
[i'd like to thank the members who constantly send comments after every entry]
2nd Call
subject of the week: BUYOG [bee]
DEADLINE:
FRIDAY NEXT WEEK [june 6]
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