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Author Topic: Bible Stories according to Children  (Read 903 times)

Gener

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Bible Stories according to Children
« on: August 05, 2009, 06:47:52 PM »
Pay special attention to the wording and spelling. It comes from a church affiliated elementary school. Test kids were asked questions about the Old and New Testaments. The following statements about the Bible, written by the children have neither been retouched nor corrected. All spelling remains as the children spelled the words. Item #10 made me laugh though.

1.) In the first book of Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world so he took the Sabbath off.

2.) Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah’s wife was Joan of Ark and the animals came on in pears.

3.) Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt during the day and a ball of fire at night.

4.) The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.

5.) Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.

6.) Sampson slayed the Philistines with the Axe of the Apostles.

7.) Moses led the Jews to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients

8.) The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Commandments.

9.) The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple

10.) The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

11.) Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol.

12.) The greatest miricle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand to stand still and he obeyed him.

13.) David was a Hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar. He fought the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in biblical times.



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Lorenzo

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Re: Bible Stories according to Children
« Reply #1 on: August 05, 2009, 06:56:20 PM »
hehe cute pood. :)

Bless the hearts of Children.

We should all have the innocent faith of children.

Christ tells us, that 'For None can come and enter the KINGDOM OF HEAVEN unless we be like Children'.

Meaning ana: FAITH UNASSAILABLE.
Have an unquestioning Faith.

:)

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Lorenzo

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Re: Bible Stories according to Children
« Reply #2 on: August 05, 2009, 06:58:48 PM »
And JESUS said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
-matthew 18:3

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