Ate, My Dear Ate,
I will share you something that I do not even reveal to my parents. Or my aunts and uncles.
When I was in my senior year of college a couple of months ago, I despaired due to the time consuming effects of my senior research thesis, stressing on waiting the responses of medical schools, stresses on class examinations, stresses on maintaining my GPA, stresses on maintaining my relationship with friends, stresses of dealing with family drama, stresses in dealing with teaching classes, stresses in dealing with crippling college loans, stresses with dealing with coming to terms to the reality that medical school loans will burden me, stresses with the fact that I will not see many of my friends for years or ever again after graduation etc etc.
Dear Ate, there were times when i just despaired. Pero you know, looking back at things at hindsight. Everything worked out, perhaps not to my liking, but it worked out for the best. lol. He answered all of my prayers. Every one.
And you know, like you, I would just go to church. Oh how effective and releasing it is. To be able to CRY OUT and release all one's anguish and ailments unto God. All the time, my dear Ate, I would visit our college chapel at night.
Many nights I would go there and just sit in the dark to talk to God. In solitary prayer. After reviewing for exams, mo anha ko. After taking exams kai ma hadlok ko if i scored alright or not, mo anha ko. After getting good news on things, mo anha jud ko.
Dili jud ko maka explain 'te. Walay scientific explanation to it, not all the complex processes that I learn can explain to me why I need to go to church. It is not only necessary for me to vent out through church, but the act of reading scripture, the singing of songs, exalting The Lord, and joining others in communion and in prayer. Reading the Lord's Prayer. Naa'y connection jud that really renews and refreshes the spirit.
Naay saying that I keep to myself that I would like to share with you, Ate.
Our bread and our water renews and strengthens our bodies. But it is the Word of The Lord, His Flesh and His Blood that renews our spirits. I believe this completely.
As I read your personal anecdote, I cannot help but smile as I feel for you. And it is true jud what they say, no? That God finds a way to connect to His Children. It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow. But someday. Within His own plan. In His Will.
We, all of us, are naturally drawn to Him. The Eternal and Living God. Who is Love. And Loves Us.
You are in my thoughts, my dear Ethylene. Stay smiling, and stay beautiful; inside and outside.
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