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Funny Drinking Quotes - Funny Quotes about Drinking
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
More funny Carroll O'Connor quotes
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Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth.
More funny George Burns quotes
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I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
More funny W. C. Fields quotes
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A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink.
More funny W. C. Fields quotes
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Twas a woman who drove me to drink. I never had the courtesy to thank her.
More funny W. C. Fields quotes
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No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or as good as drink.
More funny Gilbert K. Chesterton quotes
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Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
More funny Oscar Wilde quotes
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My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
More funny Henny Youngman quotes
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
More funny Henny Youngman quotes
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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started."
More funny Henny Youngman quotes
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I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day.
More funny Dean Martin quotes
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If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
More funny Dean Martin quotes
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The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.
More funny Jeff Foxworthy quotes
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Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony.
More funny Robert Benchley quotes
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I saw a notice that said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started.
More funny Brendan Behan quotes
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I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep.
More funny George Best quotes
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I was in for 10 hours and had 40 pints - beating my previous record by 20 minutes. (on a blood transfusion for his liver transplant, not on his Drinking)
More funny George Best quotes
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The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
More funny Humphrey Bogart quotes
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I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
More funny Frank Sinatra quotes
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Then trust me, there's nothing like drinking So pleasant on this side the grave; It keeps the unhappy from thinking, And makes e'en the valiant more brave.
More funny Charles Dibdin quotes
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Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets.
More funny Dudley Moore quotes
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Heck, I drank no more than John Wayne or Ward Bond or Spencer Tracy or Alan Ladd or Robert Walker. But it got me into a lot more trouble.
More funny John Agar quotes
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I am willing to taste any drink once.
More funny James Branch Cabell quotes
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Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.
More funny Mark Twain quotes
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Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors and miss.
More funny Robert A. Heinlein quotes
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One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
More funny Nancy Astor quotes
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I never trust a man that doesn't drink.
More funny John Wayne quotes
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I used to think drinking was the only way to be happy. Now I know there is no way to be happy.
More funny Laura Kightlinger quotes
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I like my whisky old and my women young.
More funny Errol Flynn quotes
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Licker talks mighty loud w'en it git loose fum de jug.
More funny Joel Chandler Harris quotes
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I drank to drown my pain, but the damned pain learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good behavior.
More funny Frida Kahlo quotes
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Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.
More funny Jean Kerr quotes
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There are two things that will be believed of any man whatsoever, and one of them is that he has taken to drink.
More funny Booth Tarkington quotes
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Drink to-day, and drown all sorrow; You shall perhaps not do 't to-morrow.
More funny John Fletcher quotes
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A drink a day keeps the shrink away.
More funny Edward Abbey quotes
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I try not to drink too much because when I'm drunk, I bite.
More funny Bette Midler quotes
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