Here are some quick communication tips for you
to think about and use early on with men to help
identify the good guys from the ones that don't
have a clue:
1. Don't Be Afraid To Ask Questions So many times I hear women talk about how they
don't ever want to come off as needy, "bitchy,"
pushy, etc. with guys.
And often times, women will say something like,
"I don't want to scare him off..."
Two things are important to know here about
asking questions and finding out the "real deal"
early on:
A. Only IMMATURE men who already have fears and
resistance to commitment and relationships will
actually get "scared off" IF a woman asks
questions in a mature, playful, and conversational
way.
The upside here is that emotionally mature and
open guys will be drawn in, not pushed away.
In fact, direct questions, communicated in the
right way, are THE KEY to figuring out what kind
of guy you're dealing with - plus they provide you
with all kinds of answers about the man's real
character and mindset by his response.
But some women refuse to believe that men can
communicate on this open level because of their
experience.
I want you to go back to the sentence above
about immature men. And now I want you to notice
the "IF" there...
"IF a woman asks questions in a MATURE... way."
It makes all the difference.
So often we get caught up in our own
perspective, or dealing with and breaking through
resistance and fear, that we don't realize how
much it affects our own subtle communication.
(Think body language, voice tone and pattern,
heart rate, etc.)
B. Context is EVERYTHING Have you ever noticed that you can say almost
anything and have it mean almost anything, just by
changing the look on your face when you say it,
the tone of your voice, or the emotional state
you're in?
It's fascinating to watch men and women
communicate, because up to 90 percent of the
things we learn and identify about each
other happens through silent, indirect
communication.
But sometimes you don't get the whole story,
right?
Exactly. So it's important to be able to ask
questions to find out what you need to know.
Like whether he's genuinely ATTRACTED to you,
or if he's just a player looking for a quick
connection... and then he's "out."
One great question I've heard women ask men is,
"What kind of woman do you respect?"
Asking this question in a playful way sets the
right tone for a man to respond in a way that
creates attraction without putting a man "on the
spot." This not only challenges a man in a playful
way, but makes him think and will teach you a lot
by how he responds.
But remember, the CONTEXT of your communication
is the key... If you say that, and it's all about
an "agenda," such as finding the love of your life
in your first meeting at a bar..., then I promise
it's not going to go over well.
(But you already knew that... wink wink)
On the flipside, if what you're indirectly and
silently communicating is that your questions are
about fun, learning, and most importantly -
CREATING ATTRACTION, then the man will keep
FEELING that connection to you, and respond in
kind.
2. Learn What Actually CREATES ATTRACTION For HIM There are several key "attitudes" and mindsets
that men are naturally and magnetically drawn to
and seek out in women that they like to spend
their time with.
When men interact with a woman and they see and
FEEL these attitudes and "ways of being," they
become instantly attracted... and often don't even
know why.
In fact, many times they can't help but want to
commit to something more serious with these women,
even if they didn't consciously want more coming
into the relationship.
Let me share with you one of the secrets of how
ATTRACTION works for men...
One of the most undeniably attractive attitudes
or qualities for men is when a woman is
UNPREDICTABLE.
I don't mean unpredictable in that she might
lose control emotionally and get irritated, upset,
frustrated, etc. with him or with anyone else
around her.
No. That would actually be a turn-OFF for most
healthy men...
The unpredictability I'm talking about is being
playful, challenging, and creating intrigue.
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