Author Topic: An Independent Woman: A Bane or Boon For Men? (Read 4439 times)

glacier_71 · « **on:** March 02, 2009, 09:50:21 PM »

Has our Manhood and Machismo image become a thing of the past?

I happened to watch one night a TV reality show, The Bachelor. The good looking guy, in search of another woman of his well-heeled life, confessed that the reason of the break-up with his wife is her being independent. She left him broken because of that and their marriage in tatters.

Are our modern women too strong for us? Does a woman's sense of independence become a bane or boon for men these days?

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apothecary · « **Reply #1 on:** March 02, 2009, 10:46:36 PM »

depende mam.
An independent woman is ideal if her independence is really within reasonable limits.

If she insists on putting it to unreasonable limits, shed be more like those pesky cause oriented groups, ever demanding and thinking they are always right.

And they often end up losing

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glacier_71 · « **Reply #2 on:** March 02, 2009, 10:57:02 PM »

you have a point. but is it not the reason where they get the so called "empowerment" because they need to be right in many respects, especially in dealing with relationship with the other gender, for to be right is empowering to them?

like the story above, as an example. for her, to leave the family is right. it's her exact independence--to be free from this relationship. but for the guy, it is devastating. for me, it isn't beyond reason, is it?

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grazie7y · « **Reply #3 on:** March 02, 2009, 11:02:23 PM »

Macho ra bay mag discuss dire or pwede mo salmot ang usa ka "independent woman"?

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glacier_71 · « **Reply #4 on:** March 02, 2009, 11:07:12 PM »

Macho ra bay mag discuss dire or pwede mo salmot ang usa ka "independent woman"?

free for all. you must. cause it's about you.

ps
way macho diri, macha noon.

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grazie7y · « **Reply #5 on:** March 02, 2009, 11:43:42 PM »

i wagayway ang bandira! hahaha

na wa akong duka gamay dah!

Bitaw, ato ning himayon. Let's go first to that Bachelor thingie. That Jason guy is handsome alright but goodness, he kisses all women participants and do as in "do" all kind things to know if a particular woman is the right woman to become his next wife. Who among successful married men had array of choices of women like that? But, that's not the issue you raised huh? hehehe

I can not speak for the rest of womanhood so I'll speak for myself.

When I was still in the Philippines, most of my colleagues, especially men thought I was an epitome of an independent woman to the point that they thought I was a man hater. (hmmmp, if they only know crush nko ang usa nila!

) Well, it didn't help too that I always jokingly say, "the only time I need a man is when I need somebody to open my bottled water!

" I just always have had a hard time opening that thing! Anyway, they said it was hard for me to find a man because men (and I think they were speaking for themselves too) want to take care of and provide for their women. So what did they expect that I would not be self sufficient while I was waiting for that man to take care of me and provide for my needs? There were so many things that was beyond my understanding but I appeased myself then that the right man for me was yet to come. The no ifs-and-buts kind of man. And it did and here to stay. He isn't threatened by my being independent. I speak my mind and he speaks his. No dull moment.

So what I am trying to say is that people have different perspective as to what constitute an independent woman but when it comes to love, it knows no boundaries.

In the case of Jason and his ex-wife, wa na jud toy love kay kon naa pay love, you will do everything to keep your family while you pursue your own ambitions. Gi unsa man lugar na di pwede ang wife mamahimong "independent" while stay married to the man and child she loved?

Glace, wa na ko kasabot unsay akong gi jama-jama dire oi katulgon pa jud diay ko. Tulog sa ko.

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Lorenzo · « **Reply #6 on:** March 03, 2009, 06:31:25 AM »

Has our Manhood and Machismo image become a thing of the past?

I happened to watch one night a TV reality show, The Bachelor. The good looking guy, in search of another woman of his well-heeled life, confessed that the reason of the break-up with his wife is her being independent. She left him broken because of that and their marriage in tatters.

Are our modern women too strong for us? Does a woman's sense of independence become a bane or boon for men these days?

It depends, amigo.

If you're a traditionalist/conservative type, you'll find someone to your liking. If you're the opposite, then am sure you can still find someone else to your liking.

Women, just like men, come in different sizes, shapes, color, tastes.

The best thing in this predicament is that it makes the puzzle hunting--interesting. haha

Best,
Lorenzo

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hofelina · « **Reply #7 on:** March 03, 2009, 06:55:21 AM »

ItÂ´s a bane for sure. An independent woman is mostly intelligent, she is not boring, self-reliant and flexible. During hard times she could be the best partner, best in team work and resilient. In our country you could see Filipino women who struggles hard to to put the kids in school. They work double time as homekeeper , finacial analyst( saan kukuha nga pera, saan pwedeng makautang, career oriented or simply a carenderia manager.
An independent woman will never be a boon or a curse to man therefore there is no fear that their state of masculinity will be put into question.

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glacier_71 · « **Reply #8 on:** March 03, 2009, 09:02:10 AM »

It depends, amigo.

If you're a traditionalist/conservative type, you'll find someone to your liking. If you're the opposite, then am sure you can still find someone else to your liking.

Women, just like men, come in different sizes, shapes, color, tastes.

The best thing in this predicament is that it makes the puzzle hunting--interesting. haha

Best,
Lorenzo

it is always a challenge to find the right mix in a relationship. with more and more women taking the step of independent character, the odds are becoming vast to succeed in a relationship. save for many filipinos who're faithful and still possess the strength of their self-reliance. as many TBs have shown. but the one i saw on TV, though not true to all, is a manifestation that this could be a social challenge (Western world) worth looking at--what a man/woman should look for in a relationship.

ItÂ´s a bane for sure. An independent woman is mostly intelligent, she is not boring, self-reliant and flexible. During hard times she could be the best partner, best in team work and resilient. In our country you could see Filipino women who struggles hard to to put the kids in school. They work double time as homekeeper , finacial analyst( saan kukuha nga pera, saan pwedeng makautang, career oriented or simply a carenderia manager.
An independent woman will never be a boon or a curse to man therefore there is no fear that their state of masculinity will be put into question.

that's true, manay.

however, i think there are still men out there who like to have a partner they can mutually depend upon.

i find independent women, beautiful.
i find dependent women, adorable.

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Lorenzo · « **Reply #9 on:** March 03, 2009, 10:08:22 AM »

Definitely, Glacier.

Trust me, bud, I've dated plenty of girls in my day--ranging from english majors, to nursing students, to podiatry students, to poli sci students, and even pre-law majors. With political views from christian conservative, to a tree-hugging liberal (no pun intended) lol. Hahahaha!

I really don't care when it comes to political views, cuz well to be frank, I have friends who are from different sides of the political spectrum.

I like to think that I'm the traditional type, to be honest really. But I'll tell you the truth--I learned alot from dating different types of girls. You get to taste different types, learn different points of view (and the conversations with them have been awesome, hahaha).

Red heads, blondes, brunettes, asian, indian, latina etc.
Rich, poor, middle class.

My point is for a man to make a right choice is to date openly. See what you really want and not what you 'think' you want.

Live life.

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glacier_71 · « **Reply #10 on:** March 03, 2009, 09:14:22 PM »

Definitely, Glacier.

Trust me, bud, I've dated plenty of girls in my day--ranging from english majors, to nursing students, to podiatry students, to poli sci students, and even pre-law majors. With political views from christian conservative, to a tree-hugging liberal (no pun intended) lol. Hahahaha!

I really don't care when it comes to political views, cuz well to be frank, I have friends who are from different sides of the political spectrum.

I like to think that I'm the traditional type, to be honest really. But I'll tell you the truth--I learned alot from dating different types of girls. You get to taste different types, learn different points of view (and the conversations with them have been awesome, hahaha).

Red heads, blondes, brunettes, asian, indian, latina etc.
Rich, poor, middle class.

My point is for a man to make a right choice is to date openly. See what you really want and not what you 'think' you want.

Live life.

you have lived life indeed with those array of women.

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glacier_71 · « **Reply #11 on:** March 03, 2009, 09:22:34 PM »

So what I am trying to say is that people have different perspective as to what constitute an independent woman but when it comes to love, it knows no boundaries.

In the case of Jason and his ex-wife, wa na jud toy love kay kon naa pay love, you will do everything to keep your family while you pursue your own ambitions. Gi unsa man lugar na di pwede ang wife mamahimong "independent" while stay married to the man and child she loved?

i like your point, graze. women passion for independence is not tantamount to "freeing" herself from the responsibilities she is supposed to handle, regardless of status. on the contrary, the more responsible she becomes, the more it defines her sense of independence.

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Lorenzo · « **Reply #12 on:** March 04, 2009, 12:19:55 AM »

you have lived life indeed with those array of women.

Its like shopping for vegetables man, you can't just have potatoes and onions everyday. Sometimes you gotta try cabbage, squash, bean sprouts, lol.

So you can find out what your favorite/preferred veggie is, right?

How will one know when one has not emulsified himself into the culture,taste,individual? (rhetorical ra ni, ha)

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glacier_71 · « **Reply #13 on:** March 04, 2009, 01:34:48 AM »

with your look and wit, enzo, dating is like going into a supermarket. hehehe.

seriously, it really depends on what level of contentment one has. one can be hopping from one person to another, but still that is defined on what motivation one is taking. one can emulsify into a culture, people or taste in any manner available (for love of adventure, to learn, to have a conversation, etc), but may it not forfeit one's soul.

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Lorenzo · « **Reply #14 on:** March 04, 2009, 03:31:47 AM »

with your look and wit, enzo, dating is like going into a supermarket. hehehe.

seriously, it really depends on what level of contentment one has. one can be hopping from one person to another, but still that is defined on what motivation one is taking. one can emulsify into a culture, people or taste in any manner available (for love of adventure, to learn, to have a conversation, etc), but may it not forfeit one's soul.

lol, pre, dili man hard to meet and date foreign women, uy. Foreign girls are very open minded, well for the most part. If you break through the ice, maka continue man ka sa deeper conversation.

Sure ko this true for anyone, any race. Either a woman is American, Canadian, German, Japanese, Italian, Swedish, Dane, Dutch, French, Spanish, Pakistani, Egyptian, Nigerian etc.

I'll tell you one thing tho bud, you learn something new from them. A different input on a new culture, language, life habit or whatever.

Like I said, we might 'think' we want something, but really, after experience, you'll realize that your preference is really different from the perceived 'want' of the past.

Per se an example; in high school I was into Asian girls. and only preferred to date asian girls.

In college, I went to a college that was 96% white protestant. So you had to adapt to the situation. I had my share of dates here and there, relationships etc. And realize that there is really beauty and attraction towards women of different races and different political views, religious views, academic aspirations etc.

My last gf, who I dated for 1 year (and knew since 1st year college) is a Baptist, Religious Studies-Women's Studies double major. Liberal minded. She's now a 1st year Law student in the University of Pittsburgh School of Law. Scottish-Irish ethnic background. She never dated anyone besides white men before she dated me. We had alot of differences; one on religion (we used to have long 'interesting' conversations on that topic alone) hahaha. She's a really independent and strong willed girl, intelligent kaayo. She graduated Magna Caume Laude from Allegheny.

Did we argue?
Of course we had our shares of fights. It's all about compromise and respecting each other's views, man.

Things can work out, thats the point im stressing, it takes both sides to work things out and respect each other.

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glacier_71 · « **Reply #15 on:** March 04, 2009, 07:14:34 AM »

i know where you're coming from, enz. dating and getting in contact have its precious insights about what and who these people are. and what's the point of having someone to date if we would not strive to work it out? hehehe. in fact, i believe, for some, working it out is just a second nature. it just follows its course, especially when one is interested on people.

as for me, i've dated few women. but the experiences were just rich and insightful. and i was contented to some extent. as i've said, the motivation that one takes in engaging in a relationship, has a big impact to the success of one's relation to anyone.

i admire your experience enzo. it's been enlightening--can't wait to look for more independent women. lol

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grazie7y · « **Reply #16 on:** March 04, 2009, 07:22:00 AM »

i like your point, graze. women passion for independence is not tantamount to "freeing" herself from the responsibilities she is supposed to handle, regardless of status. on the contrary, the more responsible she becomes, the more it defines her sense of independence.

Bilib jud ko nimo, Glace, kay full of wisdom kaayo ka! tinuod na ha!

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Lorenzo · « **Reply #17 on:** March 04, 2009, 07:22:29 AM »

Glacier, how would you compare the Filipina to other women, from your relationships?

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glacier_71 · « **Reply #18 on:** March 04, 2009, 10:09:40 AM »

Glacier, how would you compare the Filipina to other women, from your relationships?

interview na ni da. hehehe.
bitaw, i've never got into a relationship with foreign women, though i could have a chance. however, i have talked and mingled with them in several occasions. verdict, it's not the same. of course.
as i always remind myself, i could be anywhere else on this planet, but there's no place like home. same is true, with my choice for a woman. there's nobody as desirable as a true filipina--in person, spirit and heart.

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grazie7y · « **Reply #19 on:** March 04, 2009, 10:18:08 AM »

Pang beauty pageant pod na answer dah!

pakpak!

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grazie7y · « **Reply #20 on:** March 04, 2009, 10:24:30 AM »

By the way, Glace, you made the show Bachelor as reference to your title in this thread. I watched it last night, oh boy! I can't believe how jerk that Jason guy is. But then again, people who chose to find their partner through that manner can expect that to happen to them. I just felt bad for that lady Melissa thwarted by the man she was chasing for in front of millions of viewers. I didn't finish watching it though I heard how it ended in The View this morning.

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glacier_71 · « **Reply #21 on:** March 04, 2009, 10:55:45 AM »

By the way, Glace, you made the show Bachelor as reference to your title in this thread. I watched it last night, oh boy! I can't believe how jerk that Jason guy is. But then again, people who chose to find their partner through that manner can expect that to happen to them. I just felt bad for that lady Melissa thwarted by the man she was chasing for in front of millions of viewers. I didn't finish watching it though I heard how it ended in The View this morning.

yup, though only a part of it. hahahaha, i think there's a continuation of that tonite.

well, suppose it is really true (i can't avoid thinking it's still a show), it's by far the worst that had happened to Melissa. b'y, i could love her to the end, if given the chance.

on one hand, i could say at least he is honest, graze. if it's hard to decide a final YES to one woman, the 2, 3, 4, or 20 choices are "i-dunno-what-to-do" dilemma.

but, on the other hand, just makes me wonder how could on earth a jerk man and an independent woman live together. hahahahaha.

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corgan · « **Reply #22 on:** March 04, 2009, 12:31:49 PM »

A woman's independence is most often threatening to men for a man loves to take on the role of the "fabled knight in shining armor rescuing a damsel in distress".

But like anything else this perception is relative and largely dependent on the attendant circumstances. Where independence is seen as an ability to express a woman's sexuality in unequivocal terms ,men may love it. But where it crosses paths with a man's sense of machismo to the ridicule of his peers ,it becomes offensive.

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hofelina · « **Reply #23 on:** March 04, 2009, 03:52:46 PM »

As I grow
in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a
few reasons why:

A woman
over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and
ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care
what you think.

If a woman
over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't
sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to
do, and it's usually more interesting.

Women over
40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with
you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive
restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't
hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with
it.

Older
women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know
what it's like to be unappreciated.

Women get
psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to
a woman over 40.

Once you
get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier
than her younger counterpart.

Older
women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right
off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one. You
don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we
praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons.
Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning,
smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald,
paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with
some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

For all
those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the
milk for free? here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of
women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize
it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little
sausage!

ps
A mentally stable man will never fear the independence of a woman

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glacier_71 · « **Reply #24 on:** March 04, 2009, 08:20:25 PM »

As I grow
in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a
few reasons why:

A woman
over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and
ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care
what you think.

If a woman
over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't
sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to
do, and it's usually more interesting.

Women over
40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with
you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive
restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't
hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with
it.

Older
women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know
what it's like to be unappreciated.

Women get
psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to
a woman over 40.

Once you
get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier
than her younger counterpart.

Older
women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right
off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one. You
don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we
praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons.
Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning,
smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald,
paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with
some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

For all
those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the
milk for free? here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of
women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize
it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little
sausage!

ps
A mentally stable man will never fear the independence of a woman

nice, manay.

but i beg to disagree that it's mental stability that makes one to never fear an independent woman...it's MATURITY in its totality.

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