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Author Topic: Your naughty joke for the day  (Read 39576 times)

hubag bohol

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #40 on: March 29, 2010, 01:55:58 PM »
"What is the Difference Between Them?"
1. A successful man is one who makes more money, than his wife can spend. A successful woman is the one who can find such a man.

2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

3. A man will pay 2 pesos for a 1-peso item he wants. A woman will pay 1 peso for a 2
pesos that she doesn't want.

4. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

5. There are times when a man doesn't understand a woman-before and after marriage.

6. To happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

7. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

8. Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the
beginning of a new argument.

10.Women look at a wedding as the beginning of romance, while men look at a wedding as the ending of romance.


He he, more differences:

1. NAMES: If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

2. EATING OUT: When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want the change back. When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3. BATHROOMS: A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, a razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

4. DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to go shopping, to water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and read the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

;D
...than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln


bol-anon nga cebuano

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #41 on: March 31, 2010, 01:31:09 AM »
These are green jokes, have fun reading....

Joke # 1
Virgin male on his honeymoon phoned his mom asking what to do.
MOM: Put your biggest thing on her hairiest thing.
SON: Ok. I got my nose in her armpit. Now what?

Joke # 2
OLD MAN: Can you give me an erection?
FAITH HEALER: I can make the blind see, make the lame walk and I
can even cure cancer, but I'm sorry I cannot raise the dead.

Joke # 3
2 employees were caught naked and having sex in the office by the guard.
GUARD: Aha! Violating company rules!
MAN: What rule?
GUARD: Not wearing uniforms.

Joke # 4
Q: What is the difference between Biology and Sociology?
A: If the baby looks like the father, that is biology. If he looks like the neighbour, that's sociology.

Joke # 5
Q: Define Impotence?
A: It's nature's way of saying "NO HARD FEELINGS"

Joke # 6
A husband was asked: Do you talk to you wife after sex?
His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone.

Joke # 7
At the movie house.
GIRL: Honey, the man beside me is masturbating.
BF: just ignore him dear.
GIRL: I can't. He's using my hand!!

Joke # 8
Q: Why was the 2 piece bikini invented?
A: To separate the meat section from the dairy section.

Joke # 9
Boy 1: why did you run away from the naked lady?
Boy 2: because my mom said that if I look at a naked lady I will turn to stone, and a part of me was already getting hard!!

Joke # 10
A camel and an elephant met.
The elephant asked the camel
Why do you have your breasts on your back?
The camel clearly irritated by the outrage of modesty replies…
What a silly question from someone who has dick on his face!
"The difference between a smart person and a wise person is that a smart person knows what to say and a wise person knows whether or not to say it."

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aquarius

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #42 on: April 06, 2010, 10:02:22 PM »
Kasal.

Pari: Ikaw lalaki, tinatanggap mo bang maging kabiyak ang taong ito habambuhay?
Lalaki: Opo, Father!
Pari: At ikaw naman malanding pokpok kang bakla
ka mukha kang kabayo, 'akala mo siguro ang ganda mo sa gown o,'ano?
Tinatangap mo ba ang lalaking ito na hindi ka magsisisi kahit
magkabaon-baon ka sa utang sa pagsustento sa kanya?

Bakla: Father, sabihin nyo lang kung tutol kayo sa
kasal na ito kesa naman tumalak ka diyan, naka mic ka pa naman. ;D
listen to others even the dull and ignorant , they too have their story... desiderata


aquarius

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #43 on: April 06, 2010, 10:04:43 PM »
LOLO : asa si DARLING nako dong?..... si lola ba nimo...!

APO : ah, kuyawa lolo uy, bisan tigulang na loving man guihapon sila ni lola... DARLING man gyod..

LOLO : Ayawg saba apo... kalimot ko sa pangalan ni lola nimo...  ;D ;D
listen to others even the dull and ignorant , they too have their story... desiderata


bol-anon nga cebuano

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #44 on: April 06, 2010, 10:05:05 PM »
Pari ug Madre:

Pari: Unsa gani imong apelyido sister?
Madre: Imo baya nang hagkan kada adlaw father.
Pari: Ha! bisong imong apelyido sister?
Madre: Sus maryosep! Cruz father oy..
"The difference between a smart person and a wise person is that a smart person knows what to say and a wise person knows whether or not to say it."

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Chongki

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #45 on: April 06, 2010, 10:05:57 PM »
bwahahahaha  ;D


lindy

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #46 on: April 07, 2010, 12:40:34 AM »
hilig gyud diay si father mohalok.
A Champion is a dreamer that refused to give up!


glacier_71

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #47 on: April 07, 2010, 02:22:26 AM »
Pari ug Madre:

Pari: Unsa gani imong apelyido sister?
Madre: Imo baya nang hagkan kada adlaw father.
Pari: Ha! bisong imong apelyido sister?
Madre: Sus maryosep! Cruz father oy..


 bisong nga nag-kuruz....;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Artificial Intelligence is nothing in comparison to Natural Stupidity.

ms da binsi

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #48 on: April 07, 2010, 02:43:55 AM »
bwwahahahahhahha!

sakpaern si PADER! hinaut pa unta maligo na sha bendita kada adlaw!hahahha!
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aquarius

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #49 on: April 07, 2010, 06:54:58 AM »
---------------------------------------------------------------
Tip for a long life:

Wag mo isusulat name mo sa condolence book pag dumalaw ka sa patay.
Kasi pagkatapos ng libing nagkakaron ng raffle kung sinong susunod.     ;D ;D

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

                           *****************


Mr: Hon, buksan mo ang pinto!
Mrs: Sori, hindi pwede. Wala akong suot.
Mr: (tumawa) ok lang. Wala akong kasama.
Mrs: Ako, meron!      ;D ;D ;D

---------------------------------------------------------------


listen to others even the dull and ignorant , they too have their story... desiderata

glacier_71

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #50 on: April 07, 2010, 08:26:28 AM »
Timailhan nga tigulang na jud si Tarzan:

1. layo ang tinan-awan, duol ang inihian

2. katulgon kung maglingkod, di makatulong kung maghigda

3. mahinumduman ang dugay nang panahon, makalimot sa bag-ong hitabo

4. may gihunahuna ang utok, way mahimo ang ulok

5. sa una gahi nga gahulat, karon gahulat kanus-a mogahi

6. sa una, mogahi dayon kung masaghiran, karon di na bisan pa'g bilangkaran

Looy pod!  ;D ;D ;D
Artificial Intelligence is nothing in comparison to Natural Stupidity.

Chongki

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #51 on: April 07, 2010, 09:25:04 AM »
bwahahaha  ;D .... ouch

hubag bohol

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #52 on: April 07, 2010, 09:50:38 AM »


[/color]                           *****************


Mr: Hon, buksan mo ang pinto!
Mrs: Sori, hindi pwede. Wala akong suot.
Mr: (tumawa) ok lang. Wala akong kasama.
Mrs: Ako, meron!      ;D ;D ;D

---------------------------------------------------------------


He he, badlongon asawaha...

Diay otro...  ;D

...than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

glacier_71

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #53 on: April 07, 2010, 10:12:36 AM »
hahahahaahaha....kugihan nga asawa
Artificial Intelligence is nothing in comparison to Natural Stupidity.

hubag bohol

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #54 on: April 07, 2010, 12:03:10 PM »
hahahahaahaha....kugihan nga asawa

Kanang natabonan sa habol, nasanta ang hunat mao nga nagtuybo and lubot! ;D
...than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

glacier_71

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #55 on: April 07, 2010, 12:10:08 PM »
Kanang natabonan sa habol, nasanta ang hunat mao nga nagtuybo and lubot! ;D

di ba kaha pod na tungod sa gitas-on. hahahahaha

ug bilib kos ka pulido pagkagama aning balaya...ang butanganan sa kurtina ug ang aranya, wa jud maunsa bisag gitongtongan na. hahahahaha

Artificial Intelligence is nothing in comparison to Natural Stupidity.

hubag bohol

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #56 on: April 07, 2010, 01:23:54 PM »
di ba kaha pod na tungod sa gitas-on. hahahahaha

ug bilib kos ka pulido pagkagama aning balaya...ang butanganan sa kurtina ug ang aranya, wa jud maunsa bisag gitongtongan na. hahahahaha



Tiaw moy 8 ka buok gapulipuli... naa pay 2 nga namoso, gahuwat tingaling tawgon, bwahaha! ;D
...than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

bol-anon nga cebuano

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #57 on: April 07, 2010, 10:11:38 PM »
anak: 'nay, unsay atong sud-an?
nanay: tan-awa lang diha sa sud sa ref, anak.
anak: wala man tay ref nay, di ba?
nanay: O di wala sad tay sud-an. gamayng common sense anak!
"The difference between a smart person and a wise person is that a smart person knows what to say and a wise person knows whether or not to say it."

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glacier_71

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #58 on: April 07, 2010, 10:18:06 PM »
anak: 'nay, unsay atong sud-an?
nanay: tan-awa lang diha sa sud sa ref, anak.
anak: wala man tay ref nay, di ba?
nanay: O di wala sad tay sud-an. gamayng common sense anak!


hahahaha...si anak pod, pangitaa sa microwave
Artificial Intelligence is nothing in comparison to Natural Stupidity.

bol-anon nga cebuano

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #59 on: April 07, 2010, 10:20:05 PM »
nisamot
"The difference between a smart person and a wise person is that a smart person knows what to say and a wise person knows whether or not to say it."

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