Booking.com

Author Topic: Your naughty joke for the day  (Read 39163 times)

Lollapalooza

  • LUMINARY
  • ***
  • Posts: 6113
  • \m/ (◣_◢) \m/
Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #200 on: September 17, 2010, 01:53:03 PM »


"If you ask me what I came into this life to do, I will tell you: I came to live out loud." ~ Emile Zola~  ‎(ᵔᴥᵔ)


luckybelle

  • EXPERT
  • ***
  • Posts: 2730
  • Life is Sweet;)
Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #201 on: September 18, 2010, 06:10:12 PM »
 ;Dhmm... paralubot cguro ni c bay hubs.... peace
;)

wolfpack823

  • EXPERT
  • ***
  • Posts: 2055
  • “If you call one wolf, you invite the pack”
Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #202 on: September 18, 2010, 09:42:03 PM »
Poor guy

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
 
"Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting a particular way... you become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions" (Aristotle)

bol-anon nga cebuano

  • DIPLOMAT
  • LUMINARY
  • *****
  • Posts: 6773
  • in true friendship, forgetfulness has no place...
Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #203 on: September 19, 2010, 01:59:59 AM »
Poor guy

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
 
bwahahahaha. be strong honey. almoranas is on the way.
"The difference between a smart person and a wise person is that a smart person knows what to say and a wise person knows whether or not to say it."

Lazada.com.ph Search ProductsBooking.com Hotel Search | SitemapRSS Feeds

wolfpack823

  • EXPERT
  • ***
  • Posts: 2055
  • “If you call one wolf, you invite the pack”
Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #204 on: September 19, 2010, 03:07:33 AM »
bwahahahaha. be strong honey. almoranas is on the way.
hahahahhaha Nyor...murag gisilian og siling labujo,
"Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting a particular way... you become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions" (Aristotle)

luckybelle

  • EXPERT
  • ***
  • Posts: 2730
  • Life is Sweet;)
Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #205 on: September 19, 2010, 06:24:25 PM »
 ;D
;)

statesville

  • EXPERT
  • ***
  • Posts: 3339
  • The best daily exercise -- walk with the Lord.
Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #206 on: September 21, 2010, 01:46:34 AM »
Mother: Come on Sonny, you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for school.
John: Ahh Mom, do I have to, all the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me too.
Mother: Yes you do.
John: Give me a good reason
Mother: You're 34 and you are  the Principal!
Every Christian has GPS -God-Provided Salvation!
It may not guide you to everywhere you want to go in this world, but it will ensure  that you arrive safely in heaven.

wolfpack823

  • EXPERT
  • ***
  • Posts: 2055
  • “If you call one wolf, you invite the pack”
Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #207 on: September 21, 2010, 07:07:46 AM »
A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.

The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."

The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."

The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.

The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.

After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "

The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"
"Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting a particular way... you become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions" (Aristotle)

hubag bohol

  • AMBASSADOR
  • THE SOURCE
  • *****
  • Posts: 88220
  • "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool...
Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #208 on: September 21, 2010, 02:06:07 PM »
A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.

The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."

The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."

The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.

The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.

After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "

The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"

Bwahaha! Kahinumdom lang hinuon ko ani sa conversation between father and son:

Anak (excited): Dad, dad! Nakasuway na jud kog sex!
Amahan (excited pud): Kanay anak! Liwat jud sa amahan! High school pa gani barako na! Sigi, dali mag-inom ta. Kon pwede na kag sex, pwede na pud kang moinom.
Anak: Sunod na lang, Dad. Sakit pa akong lubot.

 :P
...than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

Chongki

  • EXPERT
  • ***
  • Posts: 3460
Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #209 on: September 22, 2010, 01:34:13 AM »
whhhhaaaaaaaaaaaa  ;D

bol-anon nga cebuano

  • DIPLOMAT
  • LUMINARY
  • *****
  • Posts: 6773
  • in true friendship, forgetfulness has no place...
Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #210 on: September 22, 2010, 03:26:33 AM »
in an english class:

teacher: class who among you here can use dermatologist in a sentence.

a complete silence in the classroom. the teacher got annoyed when no one voluntered. she then decided to just call a student. she selected the takyo the least among her students.

teacher: takyo, use dermatologist in a sentence.

takyo: ah, me maam?

teacher: yes, please stand up and answer.

takyo: ok. dermatologist.
          dear ma, tulo diyes na ang itlog. ang dagko 4 diyes.
"The difference between a smart person and a wise person is that a smart person knows what to say and a wise person knows whether or not to say it."

Lazada.com.ph Search ProductsBooking.com Hotel Search | SitemapRSS Feeds

wolfpack823

  • EXPERT
  • ***
  • Posts: 2055
  • “If you call one wolf, you invite the pack”
Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #211 on: September 24, 2010, 11:31:35 AM »
Bwahaha! Kahinumdom lang hinuon ko ani sa conversation between father and son:

Anak (excited): Dad, dad! Nakasuway na jud kog sex!
Amahan (excited pud): Kanay anak! Liwat jud sa amahan! High school pa gani barako na! Sigi, dali mag-inom ta. Kon pwede na kag sex, pwede na pud kang moinom.
Anak: Sunod na lang, Dad. Sakit pa akong lubot.

 :P
Hahahahhaahah Toink!
"Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting a particular way... you become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions" (Aristotle)

vhinz08

  • EXPERT
  • ***
  • Posts: 2055
  • the last comrades
Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #212 on: October 08, 2010, 12:55:52 AM »
(joke lang ni Bay Bolbs ha!)   :)


Anak:  (gamay ug tingog)  Tay, tay nganong ing-ani man akong tingog tay.   ???
Tatay: (gamay pod ug tingog)  Ing-ana na  anak pag dili pa tuli.    ;D ;D ;D
Anak:   :-\


 :-X
When I dole out food to the poor they call me a Saint, but when I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist.

luckybelle

  • EXPERT
  • ***
  • Posts: 2730
  • Life is Sweet;)
Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #213 on: October 08, 2010, 08:55:58 AM »
bwahahahaha. be strong honey. almoranas is on the way.

Bwahahahahahaha..... ;D ;D ;D ka-cute sa ilang I love you... igo nang pantambal sa almoranas nga moabot
;)

luckybelle

  • EXPERT
  • ***
  • Posts: 2730
  • Life is Sweet;)
Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #214 on: October 08, 2010, 09:06:42 AM »
See, who's the boss..

 A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hires a new CEO.
This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall.
The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means
business!

The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?"

A little surprised, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $300.00 a week. Why?! "

The CEO then hands the guy $1,200 in cash and screams, "Here's four
weeks pay; now GET OUT and don't come back!"

Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks,
  "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?"

With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters,
    "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's."


bahahahahahaha........bulok na CEO, wala magresearch... hehehehe... so impulsive
;)

jorgeanna

  • LUMINARY
  • ***
  • Posts: 5505
  • mmmmmmmmm
Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #215 on: October 08, 2010, 10:18:18 AM »
Andrew to Rita: Let's go to some isolated place?
Rita: "Beware! You would not do any mischievous thing there."
Andrew thought for a moment and said, "No, absolutely no."
Rita: "Then, leave the plan, it's of no use."
a marriage can never be perfect.. but the love can be!

hubag bohol

  • AMBASSADOR
  • THE SOURCE
  • *****
  • Posts: 88220
  • "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool...
Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #216 on: October 09, 2010, 12:21:05 PM »
Andrew to Rita: Let's go to some isolated place?
Rita: "Beware! You would not do any mischievous thing there."
Andrew thought for a moment and said, "No, absolutely no."
Rita: "Then, leave the plan, it's of no use."

He he, mas nindot paminawon ang Bisaya version...

LAKI : Day, manan-aw tag sine!
BAJE : Unja, di ka mangagbay? Di ka manghawok? Di ka mangumot og totoy?  Di ka manguot og bisong?
LAKI : Di oi!!!
BAJE : Ngee…. Ikaw na lay tan-aw!!!


Bwahaha! ;D
...than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

wolfpack823

  • EXPERT
  • ***
  • Posts: 2055
  • “If you call one wolf, you invite the pack”
Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #217 on: October 10, 2010, 01:47:11 AM »
Uso ang tulis sa Datu Paglas, Maguindanao. Ang mga jeep tulison og -irape ang mga babaye.

Tulisan 1 :  Tanang Babaye dire sa wala, lalaki sa tuo
(Sunod tanang babaye, kurog pa)
Tulisan 2: Oh ikaw Lola wala na kay labot dito ka sa tuo
Lola:      Wala ka kadungog, tanang baje kuno sa wala. 



"Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting a particular way... you become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions" (Aristotle)

hubag bohol

  • AMBASSADOR
  • THE SOURCE
  • *****
  • Posts: 88220
  • "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool...
Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #218 on: October 10, 2010, 08:01:50 AM »
Uso ang tulis sa Datu Paglas, Maguindanao. Ang mga jeep tulison og -irape ang mga babaye.

Tulisan 1 :  Tanang Babaye dire sa wala, lalaki sa tuo
(Sunod tanang babaye, kurog pa)
Tulisan 2: Oh ikaw Lola wala na kay labot dito ka sa tuo
Lola:      Wala ka kadungog, tanang baje kuno sa wala. 

Bitaw pud. Kanus-a pa gud intawon mausab nga maapil sa tulis si Lola...  :-X
...than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

fdaray

  • LUMINARY
  • ***
  • Posts: 5037
  • In my twilight days..... I shine still shine..
Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #219 on: October 10, 2010, 08:15:35 AM »
Usa ka madre ge rape.
Rapist: Rape ne. Hubo.
Madre: Tabaaaaang, samtang gihukas
           niya ang senina.
Rapist:Way lihok.
Madre: Misiagit ug "ayaaaaw"
Rapist: Unsay ayaw?
Madre: Ayaw ug dugayaaaaa, aron kama
           second round pa ka.
Life is what you make.
Kon naa kay gisoksok, naa kay makuot.

http://feldarblogspotcom.blogspot.com/
http://darayagrifacts.blogspot.com/

Lazada Philippines

 

Mobile View
SimplePortal 2.3.6 © 2008-2014, SimplePortal