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Author Topic: Your naughty joke for the day  (Read 39578 times)

hubag bohol

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #20 on: March 23, 2010, 02:42:40 PM »

SAFE RA KUNO

Mama: Iha, ayaw baya pagdugay og pauli, ha, mga lalaki ra ba nang imong kuyog.

Anak: Si Mama pud oi. Ayaw lang kabalaka, Ma, puros man mga seminarista ang akong kauban.

Mama: Hoy, babaye, basig nalimot ka nga imong Papa obispo!


Bwahaha! ;D
...than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln


aquarius

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #21 on: March 24, 2010, 03:20:24 PM »
Si Johny mapasaligon  sa usa ka paring langyaw nga maoy mohubad sa English ngadto sa pinulungang binisaya sa wali sa misa.. Ug nagmisa na ang paring langyaw….


Pari: Jesus Christ was crucified between two robbers..
 
Johny: Ang Ginoo gilansang tunga-tunga sa duha ka goma..!
 
PariI : We need to sacrifice in order to survive..
 
Johny : Nagkinahangla’g duha ka sakong humay aron kita maluwas..!
 
Pari : If we don’t do that, the wrath of God will come down from heaven…
 
Johny : ug kung dili kana nato buhaton, ang ilaga sa Ginoo mokanaug gikan sa langit… “taymsa father..nanagan man ang mga tawo pagawas sa simbahan…ay.!..ay..! may ilaga father..!!!!” ;D ;D ;D
listen to others even the dull and ignorant , they too have their story... desiderata


statesville

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #22 on: March 25, 2010, 03:27:25 AM »


naunsa man si Johnny gihadlok man ang nanimba
Every Christian has GPS -God-Provided Salvation!
It may not guide you to everywhere you want to go in this world, but it will ensure  that you arrive safely in heaven.


bol-anon nga cebuano

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #23 on: March 25, 2010, 05:29:37 AM »
On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three
sons.

Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking out of the
window onto to the pasture, she saw that the family's only cow was
lying dead in the field. The situation looked hopeless to her -- how
could she possibly continue to feed her family now?

In a depressed state of mind, she hung herself.

When the man awoke to find his wife dead, as well as the cow, he too
began to see the hopelessness of the situation, and he shot himself
in he head.

Now the oldest son woke up to discover his parents and the cow dead,
and he decided to go down to the river and drown himself.

When he got to the river, he discovered a mermaid sitting on the bank.

She said, "I've seen all and know the reason for your despair. But if
you will have sex with me five times in a row, I will restore your
parents and the cow to you."

The son agreed to try, but after four times, he was simply unable to
satisfy her again.

So the mermaid drowned him in the river.

Next the second oldest son woke up. After discovering what had
happened, he too decided to throw himself into the river.

The mermaid said to him, "If you will have sex with me ten times in a
row, I will make everything right."

And while the son tried his best (seven times!), it was not enough to
satisfy the mermaid, so she drowned him in the river.

The youngest son, woke up and saw his parents dead, the dead cow in
the field, and his brothers gone.

He decided that life was a hopeless prospect, and he went down to the
river to throw himself in.

And there he also met the Mermaid.

"I have seen all that has happened, and I can make everything right
if you will only have sex with me fifteen times in a row."

The young son replied, "Is that all? Why not twenty times in a row?"

The mermaid was somewhat taken aback by this request.

Then he said, "Hell, why not twenty-five times in a row?"

And even as she was reluctantly agreeing to his request, he said,
"Why not THIRTY times in a row?"

Finally, she said, "Enough!! Okay, if you will have sex with me
thirty times in a row, then I will bring everybody back to perfect
health."

Then the young fellow asked, "Wait! How do I know that thirty times
in a row won't kill you like it did the cow?"
"The difference between a smart person and a wise person is that a smart person knows what to say and a wise person knows whether or not to say it."

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Chongki

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #24 on: March 25, 2010, 07:35:08 AM »
bwahahaha  ;D bwahahaha ...whaaaaaa


hubag bohol

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #25 on: March 25, 2010, 08:57:32 AM »
Bwahaha! Mangahislot man pud ang mga himbis ni Ms. Mermaid. Tiaw mo, makapukan og baka! ;D
...than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln


ms da binsi

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #26 on: March 26, 2010, 08:33:25 AM »
bwahahhahaha!
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lindy

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #27 on: March 26, 2010, 09:20:34 AM »
bwahahahahaha, giahak.


Magbinugoy na pud ...


One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth In the middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear.

He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper. He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they became worried and decided to go to the hospital.

As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date. After being informed of the problem, their daughter's date said he could get the peanut out.. The young man told the father to sit down, then proceeded to shove two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard.

When the father blew, the peanut flew out of his ear. The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man Insisted that it was nothing. Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father and said, 'That's so Wonderful! Isn't he smart?

Do you think he's going to be a doctor when he grows older?' 
 
The father replied, 'From the smell of his fingers, he's going to be our son-in-law.'
   ;D
A Champion is a dreamer that refused to give up!

ms da binsi

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #28 on: March 26, 2010, 09:26:57 AM »

A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does,
his elbow goes into her breast.  They are both quite startled.

The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast,
I know you'll forgive me.'

She replies,  'If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221.'


 ;D


AYLABEEET! hahahha`
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space

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #29 on: March 26, 2010, 02:05:24 PM »
hahahaha

ms da binsi

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #30 on: March 26, 2010, 02:19:31 PM »
DEAR DIARY: DAY 1
All packed for the cruise ship - all my sexiest
dresses and make-up... Really excited.

DEAR DIARY: DAY 2
Entire day at sea, beautiful and saw whales and
dolphins. Met the Captain today - seems a very nice man.

DEAR DIARY: DAY 3
At the pool today. Also some shuffle boarding and
hit golf balls off the deck. Captain invited me to join him
at his table for dinner. Felt honored and had a wonderful
time. He is very attractive and attentive.

DEAR DIARY: DAY 4
Won $800.00 in the ship's casino. Captain asked me
to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a luxurious
meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to
stay the night but I declined. Told him I could not be
unfaithful to my husband.

DEAR DIARY: DAY 5
Pool again today, got sun-burnt, and went inside to
drink at piano bar for rest of day. Captain saw me, bought
me several large drinks. He really is charming. Again
asked me to visit his cabin for the night. Again I declined.
He told me if I did not let him have his way with me he
would sink the ship. I was shocked.

DEAR DIARY: DAY 6
Today I saved 2,600 lives. Twice.


 ;D


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Chongki

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #31 on: March 26, 2010, 02:22:59 PM »
bwahahahaha  ;D ..... i want to be a captain

bugsay

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #32 on: March 26, 2010, 02:48:29 PM »
idol ko si cap!!! ;D
βυγσαψ

ms da binsi

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #33 on: March 26, 2010, 02:50:44 PM »
and duha ka mga HORNETS ( as in kurog2x) naningog jud! hahahha!
The best sermons are lived not preached.http://www.facebook.com/daBinsi

aquarius

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #34 on: March 26, 2010, 02:53:15 PM »
Ms.  db..

DEAR DIARY:DAY 7...... I DID IT AGAIN.. ;D ;D ;D kanindot ba diay ning kapitan ta...hahaha...
listen to others even the dull and ignorant , they too have their story... desiderata

bol-anon nga cebuano

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #35 on: March 26, 2010, 09:52:36 PM »
"What is the Difference Between Them?"
1. A successful man is one who makes more money, than his wife can spend. A successful woman is the one who can find such a man.

2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

3. A man will pay 2 pesos for a 1-peso item he wants. A woman will pay 1 peso for a 2
pesos that she doesn't want.

4. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

5. There are times when a man doesn't understand a woman-before and after marriage.

6. To happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

7. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

8. Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the
beginning of a new argument.

10.Women look at a wedding as the beginning of romance, while men look at a wedding as the ending of romance.
"The difference between a smart person and a wise person is that a smart person knows what to say and a wise person knows whether or not to say it."

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lindy

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #36 on: March 27, 2010, 02:01:11 AM »
abtik gyud diay ning seaman.
A Champion is a dreamer that refused to give up!

ms da binsi

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #37 on: March 27, 2010, 02:55:58 AM »
mao lagi!!!! I HATE MEN! jawk*

hahahahha!
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bol-anon nga cebuano

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #38 on: March 27, 2010, 03:47:16 AM »
The Tri Stages of Sex in Marriage"
1. Tri-Weekly
2. Try-Weekly
3. Try-Weakly

"The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman's Life"
1. The Doctor - who tells her to "take off her clothes".
2. The Dentist - who tells her to "open wide".
3. The Milkman - who asks her "do you want it in front or at the back?”
4. The Hairdresser - who asks her "do you want it teased or blown?”
5. The Interior Designer - who assures her "once it’s inside, you'll LOVE it!
6. The Banker - who insists to her "if you take it out too soon, you'll loose interest!”
7. The Primal Hunter - who always goes deep in the bush, always shoots twice eats what
he shoots, but keeps telling her, "keep quiet and lie still!”
"The difference between a smart person and a wise person is that a smart person knows what to say and a wise person knows whether or not to say it."

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ms da binsi

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #39 on: March 28, 2010, 11:42:53 AM »
The Tri Stages of Sex in Marriage"
1. Tri-Weekly
2. Try-Weekly
3. Try-Weakly

"The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman's Life"
1. The Doctor - who tells her to "take off her clothes".
2. The Dentist - who tells her to "open wide".
3. The Milkman - who asks her "do you want it in front or at the back?”
4. The Hairdresser - who asks her "do you want it teased or blown?”
5. The Interior Designer - who assures her "once it’s inside, you'll LOVE it!
6. The Banker - who insists to her "if you take it out too soon, you'll loose interest!”
7. The Primal Hunter - who always goes deep in the bush, always shoots twice eats what
he shoots, but keeps telling her, "keep quiet and lie still!”


;D ;D
The best sermons are lived not preached.http://www.facebook.com/daBinsi

 

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