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Author Topic: Your naughty joke for the day  (Read 39575 times)

statesville

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #100 on: April 22, 2010, 04:13:52 AM »
One day in the forest, 3 guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden,
  a huge pack of Indians attacked them and knocked them out.

When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne.

The chief then said "All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one fruit and bring them back to me."

So after a while the first man returned with 10 apples.
The chief then ordered him to stick all ten of them up his butt without making any expression at all on his face.
He had a little bit of trouble with the first one and started crying while trying to put the next one in.
He was soon killed.

Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes.
The chief soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy.
After to the 9th grape, the man started laughing so hard for no apparent reason, and was killed.

The first two guys soon met in heaven and the first guy ask the second,
"Why did you start laughing? You only needed one more grape and you'd have gotten away!"

The second guy answered while still laughing,
 "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy walking in with pineapples."
Every Christian has GPS -God-Provided Salvation!
It may not guide you to everywhere you want to go in this world, but it will ensure  that you arrive safely in heaven.


glacier_71

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #101 on: April 22, 2010, 04:44:28 AM »
One day in the forest, 3 guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden,
  a huge pack of Indians attacked them and knocked them out.

When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne.

The chief then said "All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one fruit and bring them back to me."

So after a while the first man returned with 10 apples.
The chief then ordered him to stick all ten of them up his butt without making any expression at all on his face.
He had a little bit of trouble with the first one and started crying while trying to put the next one in.
He was soon killed.

Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes.
The chief soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy.
After to the 9th grape, the man started laughing so hard for no apparent reason, and was killed.

The first two guys soon met in heaven and the first guy ask the second,
"Why did you start laughing? You only needed one more grape and you'd have gotten away!"

The second guy answered while still laughing,
 "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy walking in with pineapples."

hahahaha. maayo lang gani kay dili Durian.
Artificial Intelligence is nothing in comparison to Natural Stupidity.


statesville

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #102 on: April 22, 2010, 04:47:59 AM »
Mao gyud glace, unsaon kaha pagpasulod ana uy! hahahahaha
Every Christian has GPS -God-Provided Salvation!
It may not guide you to everywhere you want to go in this world, but it will ensure  that you arrive safely in heaven.


glacier_71

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #103 on: April 22, 2010, 04:49:15 AM »
Mao gyud glace, unsaon kaha pagpasulod ana uy! hahahahaha

hahaha...pagkakita tingali sa iyang dala nga pineapple, nakapasalamat tingali siya kay wa niya pilia ang Nagka. hahahah
Artificial Intelligence is nothing in comparison to Natural Stupidity.


jorgeanna

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #104 on: April 22, 2010, 12:35:17 PM »
hahahaha. maayo lang gani kay dili Durian.

waahhhh walay pasaylo gyud basta durian hahaha
a marriage can never be perfect.. but the love can be!


bol-anon nga cebuano

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #105 on: April 22, 2010, 10:44:49 PM »
si maam tekla usa ka maestra nagtudlo ug english sa usa ka klase.
si cosme usa sa labing sipat sa klase ug nutado nga dili kahibaw ug bugal-bugalon pa jud.

ms. tekla: class, our lesson for today is about tag questions.
cosme: maam, what is a tag question?
ms. tekla: tag question is a grammatical structure in which a declarative statement or an imperative is turned into a question by adding an interrogative fragment and that is called the "tag". for example, open the window, will you? she doesn't really want those apples, does she? understood class?
whole class: yes maam.
ms. tekla: now, cosme give me an example of a sentence with a tag question.
cosme (confident kaayo): ms tekla is very beautiful, isn't she?
ms. tekla: very good cosme. binisay-a kuno imong gisulti.
cosme: si ms. tekla kay gwapa kaayo, wala ka kuyapi?
"The difference between a smart person and a wise person is that a smart person knows what to say and a wise person knows whether or not to say it."

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jorgeanna

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #106 on: April 22, 2010, 11:36:25 PM »
si maam tekla usa ka maestra nagtudlo ug english sa usa ka klase.
si cosme usa sa labing sipat sa klase ug nutado nga dili kahibaw ug bugal-bugalon pa jud.

ms. tekla: class, our lesson for today is about tag questions.
cosme: maam, what is a tag question?
ms. tekla: tag question is a grammatical structure in which a declarative statement or an imperative is turned into a question by adding an interrogative fragment and that is called the "tag". for example, open the window, will you? she doesn't really want those apples, does she? understood class?
whole class: yes maam.
ms. tekla: now, cosme give me an example of a sentence with a tag question.
cosme (confident kaayo): ms tekla is very beautiful, isn't she?
ms. tekla: very good cosme. binisay-a kuno imong gisulti.
cosme: si ms. tekla kay gwapa kaayo, wala ka kuyapi?

hahahaha ako gi-kuyapan ..
a marriage can never be perfect.. but the love can be!


bol-anon quo nyur!

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #107 on: April 23, 2010, 02:54:12 AM »
si maam tekla usa ka maestra nagtudlo ug english sa usa ka klase.
si cosme usa sa labing sipat sa klase ug nutado nga dili kahibaw ug bugal-bugalon pa jud.

ms. tekla: class, our lesson for today is about tag questions.
cosme: maam, what is a tag question?
ms. tekla: tag question is a grammatical structure in which a declarative statement or an imperative is turned into a question by adding an interrogative fragment and that is called the "tag". for example, open the window, will you? she doesn't really want those apples, does she? understood class?
whole class: yes maam.
ms. tekla: now, cosme give me an example of a sentence with a tag question.
cosme (confident kaayo): ms tekla is very beautiful, isn't she?
ms. tekla: very good cosme. binisay-a kuno imong gisulti.
cosme: si ms. tekla kay gwapa kaayo, wala ka kuyapi?

 BNC! Good 1! Na TAG si tekla :D

statesville

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #108 on: April 24, 2010, 04:02:40 AM »
Kapating gyud nimo Cosme, sero imong  grado karon  ;D

Here's more joke;

Matapobre
Ina: anak, tawagan mo nga tatay mo sa celfon, pauwiin mo dito
      (pagkatapos tawagan)
Anak: Inay babae po ang sumagot.
Nanay: lintik!!!! sinasabi ko na nga ba, may tinatago yang tatay mo eh. anong sabi?
Anak: ..."you only have zero balance in your account...!"
         hindi ko na tinapos nay mukhang matapobre.
Every Christian has GPS -God-Provided Salvation!
It may not guide you to everywhere you want to go in this world, but it will ensure  that you arrive safely in heaven.

statesville

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #109 on: April 24, 2010, 04:15:24 AM »
A couple stood before the preacher to be married.
  The boy's hair was as long as the girl's.
  It was difficult to tell the two apart.
So, the minister said, "Whichever one you are,
                          take whichever one this is,
             to be whatever you are going to be."
Every Christian has GPS -God-Provided Salvation!
It may not guide you to everywhere you want to go in this world, but it will ensure  that you arrive safely in heaven.

david

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #110 on: April 24, 2010, 04:31:40 AM »
Timailhan nga tigulang na jud si Tarzan:

1. layo ang tinan-awan, duol ang inihian

2. katulgon kung maglingkod, di makatulong kung maghigda

3. mahinumduman ang dugay nang panahon, makalimot sa bag-ong hitabo

4. may gihunahuna ang utok, way mahimo ang ulok

5. sa una gahi nga gahulat, karon gahulat kanus-a mogahi

6. sa una, mogahi dayon kung masaghiran, karon di na bisan pa'g bilangkaran

Looy pod!  ;D ;D ;D
hahahahaha murag hapit nako aning panahuna
hmmmmm

Happy

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #111 on: April 24, 2010, 06:30:13 AM »
LOL, sakit akong baba ug kinagiki sa inyong mga jokes oi!
"There's no perfect life, but we can let God fill it with perfect moments"

fdaray

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #112 on: April 24, 2010, 06:59:30 AM »
Ha..ha..,ha...., he...,he.bwa...ha ...na lang pud ko..
Life is what you make.
Kon naa kay gisoksok, naa kay makuot.

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glacier_71

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #113 on: April 24, 2010, 08:00:21 AM »
si maam tekla usa ka maestra nagtudlo ug english sa usa ka klase.
si cosme usa sa labing sipat sa klase ug nutado nga dili kahibaw ug bugal-bugalon pa jud.

ms. tekla: class, our lesson for today is about tag questions.
cosme: maam, what is a tag question?
ms. tekla: tag question is a grammatical structure in which a declarative statement or an imperative is turned into a question by adding an interrogative fragment and that is called the "tag". for example, open the window, will you? she doesn't really want those apples, does she? understood class?
whole class: yes maam.
ms. tekla: now, cosme give me an example of a sentence with a tag question.
cosme (confident kaayo): ms tekla is very beautiful, isn't she?
ms. tekla: very good cosme. binisay-a kuno imong gisulti.
cosme: si ms. tekla kay gwapa kaayo, wala ka kuyapi?

tua pa, kay gipabisaya ni maam. kabalo naman unta siya nga bolok-bolok nis cosme. nakadungog noon siya sa tinood. hehehe.


hahahahaha murag hapit nako aning panahuna


pila naman katimaan ang naa nimo, dave? hahahahahaha
Artificial Intelligence is nothing in comparison to Natural Stupidity.

glacier_71

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #114 on: April 24, 2010, 08:04:12 AM »
Ma'am Tekla (na pod): class our lesson for today is about the human body.

Cosme: Ma'am, is that true that the size of a woman's vagina is as big as the size of her mouth?

Ma'am Tekla (nitubag pero pina-ugom ang baba): izzzz thsat sooooooow?



 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Artificial Intelligence is nothing in comparison to Natural Stupidity.

jorgeanna

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #115 on: April 24, 2010, 10:56:06 PM »
Ma'am Tekla (na pod): class our lesson for today is about the human body.

Cosme: Ma'am, is that true that the size of a woman's vagina is as big as the size of her mouth?

Ma'am Tekla (nitubag pero pina-ugom ang baba): izzzz thsat sooooooow?



 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

good teacher... naka-bantay kay uban pa to dakung "WHAT!" man gyud hahaha
a marriage can never be perfect.. but the love can be!

glacier_71

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #116 on: April 24, 2010, 10:58:12 PM »
good teacher... naka-bantay kay uban pa to dakung "WHAT!" man gyud hahaha

whahahaha, mao nang masakpan unsay size.
Artificial Intelligence is nothing in comparison to Natural Stupidity.

jorgeanna

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #117 on: April 25, 2010, 09:22:45 PM »
M1: My son is a priest, everyone calls him Father.

M2: Mine is a cardinal, everyone calls him your Eminence.

M3: My son is a NUDE DANCER, everyone says "Oh my GOD".
a marriage can never be perfect.. but the love can be!

hubag bohol

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #118 on: April 25, 2010, 09:56:28 PM »
whahahaha, mao nang masakpan unsay size.

Kon "What" ang isulti, matay, dako jud jamo...
...than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

glacier_71

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Re: Your naughty joke for the day
« Reply #119 on: April 25, 2010, 11:17:51 PM »
Kon "What" ang isulti, matay, dako jud jamo...

hahaha. unya, ending-an pag "NOOOO!"
Artificial Intelligence is nothing in comparison to Natural Stupidity.

 

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