Author Topic: Istoryang Kataw-anan  (Read 10653 times)

jorgeanna

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Istoryang Kataw-anan
« on: November 08, 2012, 06:24:53 PM »
NURSE: Pila imo anak nang?
PASYENTE: 15 kabook
NURSE: Sus! Ginoo, wa ka ng gamit
PILLS, CONDOM, IUD, W/DRAWAL?
PASYENTE: Krus my heart day, O T I N ra jud!



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jorgeanna

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2012, 06:25:25 PM »
BABAE: ka gwapo sa pari, unsa man akong buhaton para mapansin sa pari? Ahhh, akong ibutang ning panty naku sa lamesa.
PARI: kinsa nang pante diri sa lamesa?
BABAE: ako padre
PARI: naay tae gamay.


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jorgeanna

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #2 on: November 08, 2012, 06:26:27 PM »
JUAN: do, kalibangon mn ko. pro wa man koy ilu
PEDRO: aw, naa pmn ky P20 dha mao na lng nay iilu
JUAN: usika uy pro cge nalng
( aftr kalibang Juan nibalik pro ngka-tae ang kamut)
PEDRO: uy ngano ngka-tae mna imo kamut?
JUAN: ikw kunoy ilu ug 20 ka tag mamiso di ba magkabulingit imo kamut…



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jorgeanna

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #3 on: November 08, 2012, 06:27:41 PM »
*THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK*
Bahala ug way kaugmaon
Basta maugmaan…
Kay unsaon man nimo ang
kaugmaon kun di ka na
maugmaan?
O’Ha?Ha?Ha?!


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jorgeanna

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #4 on: November 08, 2012, 06:35:20 PM »
Gorio: Teban, tagnaa ang akong maayong kinaiya nga nagsugod sa letter “A”.

Teban: Aprotsabol?

Gorio: Dili.

Teban: Abilabol?

Gorio: Dili gihapon.

Teban: Unsa man diay?

Gorio: Anest!!!

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jorgeanna

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #5 on: November 08, 2012, 06:36:11 PM »
Sa karinderya…


Waitress: Unsa imong order nong?

Pedro: Tagai daw ko day og kape.

Waitress: Pyor coffee?

Pedro: Butangi pod og tubig day oy! Abug-abug man sad atong baba anang pyor!

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #6 on: November 08, 2012, 06:36:53 PM »
TITSER: Pedro, 1 + 3?

PEDRO: 4, Mam!

TITSER: Very good! … Kaw Juan, 3 + 1?

JUAN: Mao na! Mao na! Kon lisod na gani, ako dayon ang pangutan-on! Pabor-pabor! Abseni na lang ko oy!

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jorgeanna

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #7 on: November 08, 2012, 06:37:56 PM »
Titser: kinsa nakaila kay Dr, Jose Rizal Dinhi?..ikaw Pedro?
Pedro: Wa ko kaila ana mam?
Titser: Ikaw Jose?
Jose: Wa jud ko kaila ana mam...
Titser: Ikaw Kaloy?
Kaloy: otro pud ko mam na wa jud kaila niya..
Titser: Unsa wa ju'y nakaila kay Dr, Kose Rizal sa inyoha?
Pedro: Basig sa pikas seksyon na sya mam.

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jorgeanna

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #8 on: November 08, 2012, 10:36:15 PM »
Inahan: daghana ug dung-ag,apila ang iring ug iro
Anak: ok Nay
(pagkataudtaud)
Inahan: Inatay! nganong dunay iring sa nilung-ag?
Anak: Apil gani unta ang iro di na man masud

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #9 on: November 08, 2012, 10:56:26 PM »
Tatay:  Naga laing jod hang akon na tiyan anak.
Anak : Unsa gid hang imon ginag kaom tay?
Tatay: Kamoteng kahoy nak.
Anak :  Si Tatay pod mora man ka sang bata tay, kom manogkaon ka sang kahoy, kahoy lang, kon manogkaon ka sang kamote, kamote lang ayao mo gid e halo halo hang kamote kag kahoy. 

;D

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ronzz_eco

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #10 on: November 09, 2012, 12:08:44 AM »


MANGHAROS

Anak: Pa, mangharos ko karon sa among klase..

Papa: Very good! Bright gyud ning bataa. Unsa man nga subject anak?

Anak: Kuan, Pa.. Cooking. Ako ang mangharos sa kamunggay..

———-

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statesville

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #11 on: November 09, 2012, 04:13:49 AM »
Every Christian has GPS -God-Provided Salvation!
It may not guide you to everywhere you want to go in this world, but it will ensure  that you arrive safely in heaven.

jorgeanna

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #12 on: November 10, 2012, 10:07:46 PM »

MANGHAROS

Anak: Pa, mangharos ko karon sa among klase..

Papa: Very good! Bright gyud ning bataa. Unsa man nga subject anak?

Anak: Kuan, Pa.. Cooking. Ako ang mangharos sa kamunggay..

———-

aw mao nay klaro nga nangharos ;D

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #13 on: November 10, 2012, 10:50:03 PM »
Buta nisakay ug taxi

Driver:  Kahibalo ka sa direction nga buta ka man?

Buta:  Ayawg kabalaka katoltol ko.  Nakahibalo ko nga naa na ta sa Guadalupe kay naninimaho nang mangga.

Driver:  Sakto ka.  Katoltol gyud diay ka.

Buta:  Karon naa na ta sa may simbahan kay nanimaho nang kandila.

Driver:  Sakto gihapon ka.

(Paglabay nila sa tindahan ug bulad.)
Buta:  Good evening! ladies.

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #14 on: November 10, 2012, 10:52:18 PM »
Ungo #1:  Mare, nganong napangag ka man?

Ungo #2:  Unsaon mare nga nangabat man gud ko gabii.

Ungo #1:  Pero nganong napangag ka man?

Ungo #2:  Ang  liog nga akong napaak sa estatuwa man gud ni Bonifacio.

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #15 on: November 10, 2012, 10:54:29 PM »
Teban:  Paita bay uy. Wa na koy trabaho. Gitangtang ko sa akong boss kay nakatog ko .

Pedro:  A grabe! Gitangtang ka tungod lang kay nakatog ka?

Teban: Dog hinoon nako iyang asawa.

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Republic Act 8485 (Animal Welfare Act of 1998, Philippines), as amended and strengthened by House  Bill 6893 of 2013--- violation means a maximum of P250,000 fine with a corresponding three-year jail term and a minimum of P30,000 fine and six months imprisonment

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #16 on: November 10, 2012, 10:56:55 PM »
Maestra: Class, our lesson for today is Tagalog. Juan, use "ng" in a sentence. Gamitin ang salitang "ng" sa wastong pangungusap.

Juan: Maayong gabii, Nang.

***

Maestra: Jose, Use Canadian in a sentence.

Jose:  Magluto Canadian.

***

Maestra: Miguel, where is Egypt?

Miguel: Egypt is parked across the street.

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Republic Act 8485 (Animal Welfare Act of 1998, Philippines), as amended and strengthened by House  Bill 6893 of 2013--- violation means a maximum of P250,000 fine with a corresponding three-year jail term and a minimum of P30,000 fine and six months imprisonment

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vhinz08

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #17 on: November 11, 2012, 06:49:46 AM »
Maám Isles: Nganong gitabunan man nimo nang imong nawong nahinumdom man ko sa mga hukman sa mga berdogo... :(

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #18 on: November 11, 2012, 11:44:26 AM »
Leader: Pare,balita ko bading ka daw,totoo ba?
Juan: Pare mga chismax lang yun,galing sa mga chuvanes na walang magawa sa mga cherilyn nila...chra nila! hmpf!

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #19 on: November 11, 2012, 11:45:34 AM »
Husband: When i get mad at you,you never fight back.how do you control your anger?
Wife: I clean the toilet bowl!
Husband: How does that help?
Wife: I use your toothbrush

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #20 on: November 11, 2012, 11:46:45 AM »
Host: What was the very first gift that you gave to your gf?
Male Contestant: uhmmm..taptoy
Host: What? taptoy?
Male Contestant: taptoy na teddy beard bah...

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #21 on: November 11, 2012, 11:47:26 AM »
“LAWYER:Who stabbed you?
CLIENT: Pwede ba nimo i translet sa Bisaya sir?
JUDGE:Translate the question.
INTERPRETER: Kinsa kuno si Tabyo?!”

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jorgeanna

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #22 on: November 11, 2012, 11:48:32 AM »
In the middle of a discussion in a major class..
Teacher: okay,any questions class?
Student: asa ka karong sinulog ma'am?

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jorgeanna

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #23 on: November 11, 2012, 11:49:06 AM »
Juan: luoy kaayo imo lola
Pedro: Kay ngano man?
Juan: ngkadungan mi ug simba ganina,cge lang ug ubo2x gitan-aw baya sya sa mga tawo
Pedro: ay! gapa pansin lang to ui!
Juan: kay?
Pedro: naka skinny jeans baya to..

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jorgeanna

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #24 on: November 11, 2012, 11:49:47 AM »
Sterwardess: Sir,chewing gum po pra di
sumakit ang tenga nyo during d flight.
Psahero: Tenk u! (aftr 1 hr);
Psahero: Ms,pano ba tanggalin tong chewing gum sa tenga ko?

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ronzz_eco

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #25 on: November 20, 2012, 12:41:11 AM »
Sterwardess: Sir,chewing gum po pra di
sumakit ang tenga nyo during d flight.
Psahero: Tenk u! (aftr 1 hr);
Psahero: Ms,pano ba tanggalin tong chewing gum sa tenga ko?

haha ka brght sa..taw sa dunggan gibutang:)

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #26 on: November 20, 2012, 12:53:54 AM »
Maám Isles: Nganong gitabunan man nimo nang imong nawong nahinumdom man ko sa mga hukman sa mga berdogo... :(

sorry, vhinz.  now pa ko nakabasa ani.  ang tabon is in keeping with tb's protest against the proposed (and now temporarily shelved) cybercrime law.  kun berdugo pa lang unta, the better unta, iyawat naay senador mahadlok.  pero iring man lang ko... :)

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #27 on: December 03, 2012, 06:32:30 AM »
Titser nagsermon sa mga estudyante.
Titser: sa kami pa ang estudyante sa una class,dali ra kaayo mi makasabot.Pero kamo karon ambot lang.Daghang bulok.Unsaon man tawn mo ui?
Estudyante: Basin bright injong maestra sa una mam.Dili parehas karon

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #28 on: December 03, 2012, 07:20:20 AM »

jorgeanna

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #29 on: December 05, 2012, 07:04:19 PM »
gwapo ngtxt: labs, paload nman P100.

bakla: ok!
(ngmmadling mghanap ng loading area)

bakla: narceive mo na labs?

gwapo: HU U?

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #30 on: December 05, 2012, 07:05:12 PM »
TEACHER : Okay class, our lesson for today is sex education. What is Sexuality ?

PEDRO : Ako mam! Ako mam!

TEACHER : Okay, Pedro, What is Sexuality?

PEDRO : Sexuality is our lesson for today….

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #31 on: December 05, 2012, 07:06:40 PM »
Inahan: daghana ug dung-ag,apila ang iring ug iro
Anak: ok Nay
(pagkataudtaud)
Inahan: Inatay! nganong dunay iring sa nilung-ag?
Anak: Apil gani unta ang iro di na man masud

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jorgeanna

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #32 on: December 05, 2012, 07:08:21 PM »
Mama: nak,wa ka mauwaw nagtan-aw? ako nanlimpyo nya ikaw
nag-duwa ra?
Anak: unya asa may uwaw tan-awn ma,akoy manlimpyo unja ikaw
ang nagduwa?

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ronzz_eco

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #33 on: December 26, 2012, 03:02:23 AM »
Mama: nak,wa ka mauwaw nagtan-aw? ako nanlimpyo nya ikaw
nag-duwa ra?
Anak: unya asa may uwaw tan-awn ma,akoy manlimpyo unja ikaw
ang nagduwa?


,,kabright manupo sa anaK...p)

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #34 on: December 26, 2012, 01:37:07 PM »
ang bOrit kUng mAuy mAgdagHan DyutaY ra....

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #35 on: December 28, 2012, 12:41:27 PM »
Bana: Gihungitan man lagi ko nimo Lav, mura man tag bata ani.
Asawa: Mura bitaw kag bata, Lav.
Bana: Ngaaaano man be?
Asawa: Kay motutoy man ka magabii.

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #36 on: December 28, 2012, 01:37:49 PM »
Mare: Di yata nagustuhan ni Pare ang birthday gift mo ah
Mrs: Oo nga,7 months na di rin ginagamit
Mare: Bakit? Ano ba ang regalo mo sa kanya?
Mrs: MEMORIAL PLAN

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #37 on: December 28, 2012, 01:38:37 PM »
SIR: Inday, si Sir mo ito..bangga kotse ko and i needd cash!
INDAY: Aru!!! dugo-dugo gang ka anoh!
SIR: Gaga! si Sir mo talaga to!
INDAY: Gago! si Sir ang tawag saken CUPCAKE!!!!

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #38 on: December 28, 2012, 01:39:36 PM »
Anak: Tay, ilan "r" ng correspondent?? isa o dalawa???

Tatay: Tatluhin mo na para sure!!!

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a marriage can never be perfect.. but the love can be!

jorgeanna

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Re: Istoryang Kataw-anan
« Reply #39 on: December 28, 2012, 01:41:23 PM »
Donya: kay bag-u pa man ka dinhi, gusto ko masayud ka nga ang pamahaw dri alas sais impunto!
JELYN: way blema nyora...kung 2log pako anang orasa, una nalang mu ug kaun!

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a marriage can never be perfect.. but the love can be!

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