Author Topic: Jokes for Adults Only  (Read 2208 times)

jorgeanna

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Jokes for Adults Only
« on: November 26, 2012, 08:55:09 PM »
A nun walks into a bus and sits behind the driver and says, "I have just one regret before I die,"

The bus driver asks "What might that be?", she says "I have never had sex, but I can't have sex with a married man or that would be a sin."

The bus driver says, "I'm not married"

The nun says, "I have to die a virgin so I will have to take it in my ass".

Being the only two in the bus they went to the back and took care of business.

When they were done the bus driver says to the nun, "I have a confesion to make, I am married."

The nun says "I also have a confesion to make, My name is Tom and im going to a costume party!"



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jorgeanna

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Re: Jokes for Adults Only
« Reply #1 on: November 26, 2012, 08:59:28 PM »
3 Men were waiting to go to heaven. St Peter was at the gate and said, "However good you were to your wife that is the vehicle you will get in heaven".

The first guy comes up to the gate and says, "I never, ever cheated on my wife and I love her". So St. Peter gives him a Rolls Royce.

The next man comes up and says, "I cheated on my wife a little but I stilll love her." He gets a mustang and drives off into heaven.

The next guy came up and said, "I cheated on my wife alot". He gets a scooter.

Next day the guy that got the scooter was riding along and he saw the guy who owned the Rolls Royce crying.

He asked, "Why are you crying you have such a nice car?!" and the man sobbed, "My wife just went by on roller skates".



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Chongki

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Re: Jokes for Adults Only
« Reply #2 on: November 26, 2012, 09:19:55 PM »

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hubag bohol

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Re: Jokes for Adults Only
« Reply #3 on: November 27, 2012, 09:20:54 AM »
Malingaw ang married adults ani...

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fdaray

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Re: Jokes for Adults Only
« Reply #4 on: November 27, 2012, 09:26:44 AM »
Malingaw ang married adults ani...
Sayang..., di na man ko maapil ani, kay senyor na man ko.

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Lollapalooza

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Re: Jokes for Adults Only
« Reply #5 on: November 27, 2012, 10:43:44 AM »
Malingaw ang married adults ani...

ay di ko ka relate ani hahahah singgol pa man ko hahahahahaaha

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hubag bohol

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Re: Jokes for Adults Only
« Reply #6 on: November 27, 2012, 10:45:23 AM »
A nun walks into a bus and sits behind the driver and says, "I have just one regret before I die,"

The bus driver asks "What might that be?", she says "I have never had sex, but I can't have sex with a married man or that would be a sin."

The bus driver says, "I'm not married"

The nun says, "I have to die a virgin so I will have to take it in my ass".

Being the only two in the bus they went to the back and took care of business.

When they were done the bus driver says to the nun, "I have a confesion to make, I am married."

The nun says "I also have a confesion to make, My name is Tom and im going to a costume party!"


Kini nga joke ang angay ni Engr. Pikoy kay married adult siya, unya tua pa jud sa Saudi... ;D

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bugsay

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Re: Jokes for Adults Only
« Reply #7 on: November 27, 2012, 12:38:30 PM »
arang-arang kay maka rolls royce diay didto...8)

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hubag bohol

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Re: Jokes for Adults Only
« Reply #8 on: December 02, 2012, 08:45:24 AM »
 A blind carpenter walks into a lumber mill and shouts out, "I am a blind carpenter and I need a job." The foreman walks over to the blind carpenter and says, "If you're blind, how can you work in a lumber yard?" The blind carpenter says, "I can tell any piece of lumber by it's smell." The foreman says "O.K. I'll give you a test and if you pass the test, you've got a job." The foreman takes the carpenter over to a table and says, "I will put some lumber on a table in front of you and you tell me what it is." The foreman then puts a piece of lumber on the table and says, "Ready!" The carpenter bends over and takes a deep sniff moving his head from one side to the other. He says "That's a number two pine, two by four, eight foot long." The foreman says, "Duh! That's right, but pine is easy to tell by the smell and I think you guessed the rest. Here's another piece of lumber for you to identify." The foreman puts a piece of lumber on the table and says, "Ready!" The blind carpenter bends over and takes a deep sniff moving his head from one side to the other and says, "This is a tough one, please turn it over so I can smell the other side." The foreman does this and says "Ready!" The carpenter takes another deep sniff moving his head from side to side. He then says, "That's a clear heart red wood, four by four, six foot long." The foreman is amazed and says "That's right, but I still think you're just lucky and still guessing. Let me try one more time and if you get it right you got a job." The foreman then goes into the office and asks his secretary to help him stump the blind carpenter by taking off all of her clothes and laying down on the table. She takes off her clothes walks out of the office and lays face down on the table. The foreman says, "Ready!" The blind carpenter takes a deep sniff moving his head from side to side. He looks puzzled and takes another sniff and says, "This also is a tough one, please turn it over so I can smell the other side." The foreman gestures with his hand to the secretary, she rolls over, and the foreman says, "Ready!" The blind carpenter moves his head from side to side again looking puzzled. He sniffs one more time, looks surprised, and says, "I got it. That's a s*** house door off a tuna boat." He got the job.

;D


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jorgeanna

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Re: Jokes for Adults Only
« Reply #9 on: December 03, 2012, 06:32:16 AM »
Doctor: Ano ba ang trabaho mo iha?
Girl: Substitute po Doc
Doctor: Di kaya prostitute?
Girl: Mommy ko ang prostitute,kund hindi siya pwede ako ang pumalit

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jorgeanna

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Re: Jokes for Adults Only
« Reply #10 on: December 03, 2012, 06:33:30 AM »
Thelma: Sabi mo dok, safe ang calendar method. Eh, bakit ako nabuntis?
Dok: Paano nyo ba ginamit ang kalendaryo?
Thelma: Ginawa naming banig!

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Votives

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Re: Jokes for Adults Only
« Reply #11 on: December 05, 2012, 12:40:07 PM »
ay di ko ka relate ani hahahah singgol pa man ko hahahahahaaha

singgol pa pero minyo naman og binuhatan.. hehe

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roots

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Re: Jokes for Adults Only
« Reply #12 on: December 05, 2012, 12:54:23 PM »
kumpisal sa mga madre.....

madre 1: padre, nakasala ko. nakahikap ko ug kinatwo sa lalaki.
pari: kuha ug holy water ug panghinaw...
madre 2: padre, nakasala ko. nagpakantot ko sa lalaking ahong naila-ila sa seminar..
pari: kuha ug holy water ug hugasi imong kinatawo...
natingala ang pari sa iyang nakita kay ang ikatulong madre nga higala sa naunang 2 ka nangumpisal........
nagalimug-mog na ug holy water.
pari: sister, nganong gi-alimugmog man nimong holy water?
madre3: saba diha padre oi...... nahibaw na gud na sija unsay ahong nabuhat...... 
 

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hubag bohol

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Re: Jokes for Adults Only
« Reply #13 on: December 05, 2012, 08:53:33 PM »
singgol pa pero minyo naman og binuhatan.. hehe

Hmm, unsa man diay ang binuhatan og minyo, Bay Vots?   ::)

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Votives

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Re: Jokes for Adults Only
« Reply #14 on: December 06, 2012, 10:48:56 AM »
veteran move na permi ang minyo...

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Think wisely before you speak and listen intently to the people with fruit on the tree. Break down the barrier of stubbornness and pride otherwise you'll always be a part of the crowd..

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islander

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Re: Jokes for Adults Only
« Reply #15 on: December 06, 2012, 10:51:53 AM »
for adults gyod diay ni nga thread.  wa gyod koy masabtan. ;D

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hubag bohol

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Re: Jokes for Adults Only
« Reply #16 on: December 06, 2012, 11:00:16 AM »
veteran move na permi ang minyo...

Hmm, battle-scarred diay... ;D

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hubag bohol

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Re: Jokes for Adults Only
« Reply #17 on: December 06, 2012, 11:01:10 AM »
for adults gyod diay ni nga thread.  wa gyod koy masabtan. ;D

Kana ba. Angkon na lang. Ay nag sakay2x, klaro hinuon nga way hanaw... ;D

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