My Dearest Daughter,
I know I come across as a strict and old-fashioned mother. I want to show you my love and concern but I do not always know how. It is frustrating for me when I do not know how to tell you to be careful and to watch out for the things happening around you without drawing a fed-up or angry response from you.
I am very worried when you go out till 4 am and date older boys because I am concerned that they will take advantage of you. I know you are no longer a child. You are 15 and need to find yourself, your identity as a teenager and young lady. I hope you will learn to set boundaries and limits on yourself for your own well-being. It is normal that you like the attention and admiration from boys, but I love you very much as a mother and want to protect you from being hurt.
You have many gifts, talents and strengths. I should praise you more. I don’t because I fear if I praise you too much, you will become proud. I think this is inaccurate thinking and I am willing to change. I want to be able to communicate with you openly, for you to confide in me your problems and for us to solve them together. This is because you are most precious to me.
I worry over news of young girls getting preyed on or sexually involved with teenagers or older men. It is understandable that you may be curious about sexuality. However you must make a choice to know your values and make a stand not to get involved in sex before you are married. I don’t want you to be hurt, especially not when the potential damage from premarital sex to a person’s body, mind and heart can be lasting and difficult to overcome.
When I set a curfew time and insist you come home by 9 pm rather than 4 am, I am trying to teach you about boundaries, protecting yourself, choosing responsible actions rather than doing what you feel without regarding other people’s feelings.
I hope you will balance your need for freedom, experimentation and finding yourself (which is part of growing up) with a respect for your parents’ feelings, values and belief systems. Most importantly, I hope that you will choose actions that will keep you from danger and prolonged suffering, actions that will develop healthy habits that serve you for life.
I really want to spend more time with you, to talk and enjoy activities together, which bond us. I want us to be close and not be strangers.
Please do teach me to understand the language of your peers. Perhaps you can also help me on my online journey and teach me about Facebook and Twitter.
I hope we can be open with each other, and be able to say sorry when we are wrong and forgive each other. As long as there is forgiveness, openness, willingness to communicate and humility, any problem can be solved and any hurt healed.
I am always here for you.