Sexy Cougar or Dangerous Predator?
Dear Prudence offers advice about a May-December encounter that the victim deems harmless—during a live chat at Washingtonpost.com.By Emily Yoffe
Posted Monday, Aug. 8, 2011, at 3:47 PM ET
Q. My boyfriend of two years recently told me that he lost his virginity at the age of 12 to a family friend that was 30 at the time. He swears that he is the one that seduced her and that it is a very happy memory for him; I have no reason to doubt him and he is "older" than his years and has always dated older women. But I'm very grossed out by the woman in question. I'm picturing myself allowing a 12-year-old to seduce me (I'm 30) and the thought is disgusting to me. I really don't think she is a predator and my boyfriend really does seem to have quite an effect on older ladies—they all just want to take their pants off for him. My question is mainly that I don't know how I'm going to face this woman—we see her about three times a year at family events and one is coming up next month. I am not great at keeping my facial features neutral so I'm worried she's going to figure out that I know. I don't want to "out" her. I'm definitely not going to touch a drop of booze that day because I don't want to get tipsy and say something I'll regret. I really just don't know what to say to this woman or how to act in front of her! Help.
A: I agree with your disgust, but I disagree that she's not a predator. There are no circumstances under which a 30-year-old should be having sex with a 12-year-old, and I don't care what the genders are of those involved. However, instead of seeing this as a violation, for your boyfriend it's a lovely memory, so let it be. If you have trouble with your facial features, start practicing in the mirror. There surely are times at work when you're saying, "That's a great idea, boss, I'll get right on it," and you're thinking, "Another idiotic request!" but you don't want your face to give you away. You know how to be cordial to an old family friend, so make some brief polite conversation to Humberta Humberta, then walk away. --
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Topic: Dear Prudence: Advice on manners and morals. (Read 1690 times)